IKIGABANE CA 25

Noba nshobora guhimbarwa ndezwe n’umuvyeyi umwe?

“Abana bafise abavyeyi bompi barashobora kuronka ivyumba vyabo no kugura impuzu nshasha. Mugabo jeho mbwirizwa gusangira icumba n’abandi; ni gake ndonka impuzu nipfuza. Mama avuga ko adashoboye kuzigura. Uravye ibikorwa vyose mbwirizwa gukora igihe ari ku kazi, umengo ndi umukozi wo mu nzu, ukamengo sindi umwana nk’abandi.”​—Shalonda, imyaka 13.

 SI IVY’IMBESHERE, urugo rurimwo abavyeyi babiri buzuye urukundo usanga ari agahore. Serugo na inarugo bafatanye mu nda barashobora kuyobora abana babo, kubakingira no kubashigikira mu buryo bwiza kuruta. Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Babiri baruta umwe, kuko bafise impera nziza ku bw’igikorwa cabo c’ubutame.”​—Umusiguzi 4:9.

Naho biri ukwo, ingo zirimwo abavyeyi bompi zisigaye ari imbonekarimwe. Nk’akarorero, abana barenga ica kabiri bo muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika, usanga bamara igihe kinaka barezwe n’umuvyeyi umwe batarakwiza imyaka 18.

Yamara rero, abana bamwebamwe barezwe n’umuvyeyi umwe baraterwa isoni n’ukuntu ivyabo vyifashe. Abandi na bo barumva barengewe n’imikazo be n’ingorane bibashikira mu buzima. Nimba urezwe n’umuvyeyi umwe, ni imikazo iyihe igushikira? Andika aha munsi ingorane ikubuza amahoro kuruta izindi.

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None woba ubwirizwa kubaho mu maganya ngo ni uko hari umuvyeyi mutari kumwe ngo agume akwitwararika? Si ko biri! Ahanini bivana n’ingene ubona ukuntu ivyawe vyifashe. Mu Migani 15:15 havuga hati: “Imisi yose y’umurushwa ni mibi; mugabo uwunezerewe ku mutima yama ku nzimano.” Nk’uko uwo mugani uvyerekana, akenshi uko umuntu amerewe kuvana n’ingene abona ibintu kuruta ukuntu ivyiwe biba vyifashe. None wokora iki kugira ugume ‘unezerewe ku mutima’ naho ivyawe vyoba vyifashe nabi?

Nutsinde ivyiyumviro bibi

Imbere ya vyose, ntureke ngo amajambo mabi abandi bavuga atume ugira ivyiyumviro bibi. Nk’akarorero, hari abigisha bafata nabi abanyeshure barezwe n’umuvyeyi umwe. Iyo bishitse abo bana bakigenza nabi, hari n’abaca bavuga ko ari kubera bataronse indero ikwiye i muhira. Ariko niwibaze uti: ‘Abantu bavuga ivyo boba vy’ukuri banzi bakamenya n’umuryango  wacu, canke baba bariko basubiramwo gusa ivyo bumvise abandi bavuga ku bijanye n’ingo zirimwo umuvyeyi umwe?’

Biri n’ico bivuze kubona mu rurimi rw’intango imvugo ngo “agahungu katagira se” iboneka incuro mirongo mu Vyanditswe. Nta na hamwe ikoreshwa mu buryo bwo gutyoza uwo mwana. Ahubwo hafi muri izo nkuru zose, Yehova arerekana ko yitwararika bimwe bidasanzwe abana barezwe n’umuvyeyi umwe. *

Abandi bantu na bo boshobora kwigengesera birenze mu kukuyagisha, ariko ata ntumbero mbi bafise. Nk’akarorero, boshobora gutinya gukoresha amajambo nka “papa,” “umubano,” “kwahukana,” canke “urupfu,” bibaza ko vyohava bikubabaza canke bikagutera isoni. None inyifato nk’iyo yoba ikubabaza? Nimba ikubabaza, nubereke ubigiranye ubugenge ko ivyo biyumvira atari vyo. Uwitwa Tony w’imyaka 14, ntiyigeze abona se wiwe. Avuga ko hari abatinya gukoresha amajambo amwamwe igihe bamuyagisha. Ariko rero Tony aca abitanga agakoresha ayo majambo nyene. Avuga ati: “Nshaka ko bamenya yuko ntaterwa isoni n’ukuntu ivyanje vyifashe.”

Ntugume uvuga ngo “ese iyaba . . .”

Ni ibisanzwe kwumva umubabaro canke intuntu nimba abavyeyi bawe barahukanye canke ukaba warabuze umwe muri bo. Naho ari ukwo, nta kundi uri bugire. Bibiliya itanga impanuro igira iti: “Ntuvuge ngo: ‘Kubera iki imisi ya kera yabaye myiza kuruta iyi?’” (Umusiguzi 7:10) Ku bijanye n’ivyo, uwitwa Sara w’imyaka 13, abavyeyi biwe bakaba bahukanye afise imyaka 10, avuga ati: “Ntiwiganyire  mu kwama uvuga ngo ‘ese iyaba . . . ,’ canke ngo ubone ko ingorane ufise ziterwa n’ukuba urezwe n’umuvyeyi umwe, nk’aho umengo abafise abavyeyi bompi bobo ingorane barabaza.” Iyo ni impanuro nziza. Nakare, n’urugo rufise abavyeyi babiri ntirubura ingorane.

Ubona gute ufashe umuryango wanyu nk’aho woba ari umugwi w’abantu bariko basoza ubwato? Mu bisanzwe, mwategerezwa kubusoza mwese ata n’umwe avuyemwo. Mu muryango usigaranye umuvyeyi umwe, ni nk’aho umusozabwato umwe aba abuze. Abasigaye rero baca babwirizwa kwongereza inguvu. None ivyo vyoba bisobanura ko uwo muryango ata co ushobora gushikako? Habe namba! Igihe abasigaye bagumye basenyera ku mugozi umwe, ubwato burabandanya urugendo bugashika iyo buriko buraja.

 Woba uriko urashitsa uruhara rwawe?

Ni igiki neza na neza wokora ufatanije n’abandi musangiye umuryango kugira werekane ko uriko urashitsa uruhara rwawe? Rimbura ivyiyumviro bitatu bikurikira:

Niwige kudasesagura. Amahera usanga ari ikibazo gikomeye mu miryango ifise umuvyeyi umwe. Woterera iki none? Umwe Tony twavuga, agira ati: “Abana twigana barasaba abavyeyi ngo babagurire ibirato n’impuzu bizimvye. Ntibaja kw’ishure batabibaguriye. Jewe nta mpuzu zigezweho mfise, ariko nitunganya neza kandi ndasukuye, eka kandi ibintu vyanje ndabibungabunga. Mama arakora ivyo ashoboye vyose, sinshaka kumugora.” Wigoye gatoyi, urashobora kwigana intumwa Paulo, uwavuze ati: ‘Narize kubumbwa n’ivyo mfise muri vyose.’—Ab’i Filipi 4:11, 12, BY.

Ubundi buryo bwo kudasesagura, ni ugukoresha neza ivyo mufise. (Yohani 6:12) Umusore yitwa Roger avuga ati: “I muhira ndirinda kumena ibintu canke kubitagaguza kubera yuko kubisanura canke kubisubiriza bisaba amahera. Nditwararika kuzimya amatara igihe ata wuriko arayakoresha. Ivyo biragabanya amahera turiha amatara.”

Niwibwirize. Abavyeyi benshi bireranye abana baratinya gushinga amategeko yo mu rugo canke gusaba abana babo ngo babafashe ibikorwa vy’i muhira. Uti kubera iki? Bamwebamwe babona ko badakwiye kuremeka uwundi mutwaro abo bana basanzwe bariburiye umuvyeyi. Boshobora kwibwira bati: ‘Sinshaka kubuza abana banje kunezerwa.’

 Kubera ukwo kwiyagiriza kw’umuvyeyi wawe, hari aho rero woca ushaka kuriramwo mbege. Ariko ivyo nta kindi vyovamwo atari ukuremereza umuvyeyi wawe. Ahubwo riho, ubona gute wibwirije kumufasha? Raba ico Tony akora. Avuga ati: “Mama akora mu bitaro kandi impuzu ziwe z’akazi zirakenera kugororwa. Nca ndazimugororera.” None ako si akazi k’abakenyezi? Tony yishura ati: “Hari ababibona gutyo. Ariko ndabikora kubera bifasha mama.”

Nukenguruke. Uretse ugufasha umuvyeyi wawe, kumukengurukira gusa birashobora kumuremesha cane. Umuvyeyi umwe yireranye abana yanditse ati: “Akenshi igihe ntashe nacitse intege canke nashushe umutwe kubera ingorane zo ku kazi, nca nsanga umukobwa wanje yatunganije ibintu ku  meza kandi ariko ararondera ibifungurwa vyo ku mugoroba.” Yongerako ati: “Umuhungu wanje aca ankikuza amaboko akangumbira.” None aca yiyumva gute? Avuga ati: “Emwe, nca numva umunezero ugarutse.”

Muri ivyo vyiyumviro bitatu duhejeje kuvuga, andika ng’aha ico ukeneye kwitwararika kuruta ibindi. ․․․․․

Kuba mu muryango ufise umuvyeyi umwe birakuronsa akaryo ko gutsimbataza kamere nk’impuhwe, ukutikunda be n’ukutanjanjwa. Vyongeye, Yezu yavuze ati: “Gutanga birimwo agahimbare kuruta guhabwa.” (Ivyakozwe 20:35) Uzokwironkera agahimbare kenshi niwafasha uwo muvyeyi wawe.

Birumvikana ko bishobora gushika ukibwira uti: ‘Ese iyaba nari mfise uwundi muvyeyi!’ Naho ari ukwo, urashobora kwiga kuvyifatamwo neza. Ivyo ni vyo umwigeme yitwa Nadia yakoze. Avuga ati: “Aho papa amariye gupfa, hari umuntu yambwiye ngo ‘ubuzima bwawe buzovana na wewe,’ kandi ayo majambo sinigeze ndayibagira. Yaranyibukije ko ntabwirizwa kureka ngo ingorane ndimwo zimbuze umunezero.” Na wewe urashobora kubona ibintu muri ubwo buryo. Uribuka ko agahimbare k’umuntu katavana n’ukuntu ivyiwe vyifashe, ahubwo kavana n’ukuntu abibona be n’ingene avyifatamwo.

RABA N’AYANDI MAKURU MU GITABU CA 1, IKIGABANE CA 4

[Akajambo k’epfo]

ICANDITSWE NYAMUKURU

“Umuntu wese ntiyiyumvire ivyiwe gusa, ariko yiyumvire n’ivy’abandi.” —Ab’i Filipi 2:4, BY.

IMPANURO

Nimba ubona ko ujejwe ibikorwa vyinshi cane, nusabe umuvyeyi wawe ubigiranye ubugenge akore ibi bikurikira:

● Kugira urutonde rw’ibikorwa vyose umwe wese mu bagize umuryango abwirizwa gukora.

● Nimba bikenewe, gutanga bushasha ibikorwa kugira bishingwe ababishoboye gusumba.

WARI UBIZI . . . ?

Kwemera gushingwa ibikorwa muhira birashobora kugufasha kunyaruka kuba umuntu ahumuye kuruta abana bakurira mu miryango irimwo abavyeyi babiri kuko akenshi usanga bobo bashingwa ibikorwa bike.

ICO NTEGEKANYA GUKORA!

Nzotsinda ivyiyumviro bibi mu gukora ibi: ․․․․․

Ninabona ko abantu turi kumwe bigengesera birenze urugero, nzovuga nti: ․․․․․

Ico noshima kubaza umuvyeyi wanje (abavyeyi banje) kuri ivyo ni ․․․․․

UVYIBAZAKO IKI?

● Kubera iki hari abinuba abana barezwe n’umuvyeyi umwe?

● Kubera iki umuvyeyi wawe yoshobora gutinya kugusaba ngo umufashe ibikorwa vy’i muhira?

● Wokwerekana gute ko ukengurukira umuvyeyi wawe?

[Iciyumviro nyamukuru ku rup. 211]

“Kuva abavyeyi banje bahukanye, jewe na mama turaronka umwanya uhagije wo kuyaga. Dusigaye turi abagenzi somambike.”​—Mélanie

[Ifoto ku rup. 210, 211]

Umuryango ufise umuvyeyi umwe umeze nk’ubwato bubuze umusozabwato umwe: Abasigaye babwirizwa kwongereza akigoro, ariko barashobora kwererwa igihe basenyeye ku mugozi umwe