Ababyeyi bamwe iyo bananiwe kumvikana, bibwira ko gutana ari byo byatuma abana babo barushaho kumererwa neza kuruta guhora babona ababyeyi babo baterana hejuru. Ariko se ibyo ni ukuri?

•  Iyo ababyeyi batanye bigira izihe ngaruka ku bana?

•  Ese nintana n’uwo twashakanye umwana wange azarushaho kumererwa neza?

•  Ese nyuma yo gutana, gufatanya kurera abana bizaborohera?

•  Ese nta kindi nakora ngo ntatana n’uwo twashakanye?

 Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko iyo ababyeyi batanye, bigira ingaruka zibabaje ku bana. Iyo ababyeyi batanye, abana bashobora:

•   kurakara, bagahangayika kandi bakiheba

•   kwitwara nabi

•   gutsindwa mu ishuri cyangwa bakarivamo

•   kurwaragurika

 Hari n’abana benshi bicira urubanza, bakumva ko ari bo batumye ababyeyi babo batana cyangwa bakumva ko bagombye kuba baragize icyo bakora ngo badatana.

 Ibibazo abana bafite ababyeyi batanye bahura na byo bishobora no kubakurikirana bamaze kuba bakuru, ugasanga batigirira ikizere kandi kwiringira abandi bikabagora. Nanone iyo bashatse hari ubwo na bo batana n’abo bashakanye.

 Inama: Nubwo hari igihe abateganya gutana bibwira ko ari byo bizatuma abana babo bamererwa neza, ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko ibyo atari byo. Penelope Leach impuguke mu byo kwita ku bana yaranditse ati: “Iyo ababyeyi batanye, bitera abana intimba.” a

 Ihame rya Bibiliya: ‘Ntimukite ku nyungu zanyu bwite mwibanda gusa ku bibareba, ahubwo nanone mwite ku nyungu z’abandi.’—Abafilipi 2:4.

 Hari abantu bavuga ko gutana bituma abana bamererwa neza. Ariko burya ibyo umubyeyi akenera biba bitandukanye n’ibyo umwana akenera. Umuntu ushaka gutana n’uwo bashakanye aba yifuza kugira ubuzima bushya. Ariko umwana we aba yifuza kubona ababyeyi be bari kumwe.

 Abashakashatsi bagenzuye ibibazo by’abashakanye batanye, maze barandika bati: “Ntiwakumva abana babo bavuga ko bishimye. Ahubwo bavuga ko igihe ababyeyi babo batanaga, batongeye kwishima.” Abo bashakashatsi bongeyeho ko abana babona iyi si “iteje akaga kandi ko nta muntu bakwiringira kubera ko ababyeyi babo babatengushye kandi ari bo bakababareye inshuti magara.”

 Inama: Abana ntibashimishwa n’uko ababyeyi babo batanye.

 Ihame rya Bibiliya: “Umutima wihebye wumisha amagufwa.”—Imigani 17:22.

 Hari abantu batanye batekereza ko bashobora gufatanya kwita ku bana babo kandi bakabarera neza nk’uko byari bimeze bataratana. Icyakora ibyo biragoye. Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko inshuro nyinshi abatanye:

•   bamarana igihe gito n’abana babo

•   bigisha abana ibintu bivuguruzanya

•   bemerera abana ibyo bifuza byose bitewe n’uko bicira urubanza cyangwa bananiwe

 Umwana ufite ababyeyi batanye ashobora kwanga ubuyobozi bw’ababyeyi. N’ubundi kandi, ababyeyi be baba barananiwe kugaragaza imico myiza, urugero nko kwiyemeza, kwizerana no gukomera ku masezerano. Umwana ashobora kwibaza ati: “Kuki nabumvira?”

 Inama: Gufatanya kurera abana bigora abatanye. Ariko abana bo birabagora kurushaho.

 Ihame rya Bibiliya: “Ntimukarakaze abana banyu kugira ngo batazinukwa.”—Abakolosayi 3:21.

 Iyo urebye imbaraga abashakanye bakoresha nyuma yo gutana, akenshi usanga byari kurushaho kuba byiza iyo bazikoresha barinda urugo rwabo ngo rudasenyuka. Hari igitabo kivuga iby’ishyingiranwa cyagize kiti: “Iyo mu rugo havutse ibibazo, ntibiba bishaka kuvuga ko bizahahora nk’uko rimwe na rimwe tubyibeshya. Iyo abashakanye bahisemo gukomeza guhangana n’ibyo bibazo bari kumwe, amaherezo bagira ibyishimo kuruta mbere hose.” Byaragaragaye ko abana barushaho kumererwa neza iyo ababyeyi babo bagumanye.

 Icyakora ibyo ntibishaka kuvuga ko nta na rimwe abantu bashobora gutana. Bibiliya na yo ivuga ko abashakanye bashobora gutana iyo umwe yaciye undi inyuma (Matayo 19:9). Icyakora, nanone Bibliya ivuga ko “umunyamakenga yitondera intambwe ze” (Imigani 14:15). Abagabo n’abagore bafite ibibazo mu ngo zabo bagomba kugenzura ibintu byose, hakubiyemo n’ingaruka gutana bishobora kugira ku bana babo.

 Birumvikana ariko ko hari ibindi bikenewe birenze kwihambira. Bibiliiya igira abagabo n’abagore inama nziza zibafasha kugira imico myiza ituma bubaka urugo rwabo rugakomera. Ibyo kandi ntibitangaje kubera ko umwanditsi wa Bibiliya ari we Yehova, ari na we watangije ishyingiranwa.—Matayo 19:4-6.

 Ihame rya Bibiliya: “Jyewe Yehova ndi Imana yawe. Ni jye ukwigisha ibikugirira umumaro.”—Yesaya 48:17.