Ibibazo urubyiruko rwibaza

Nakora iki kugira ngo mbane neza n’abo tuva inda imwe?

Ubanye ute n’abo muva inda imwe?

․․․․․ Turi incuti magara

․․․․․ Muri rusange tubanye neza

․․․․․ Turoroherana

․․․․․ Duhora turwana

BAMWE mu bana bava inda imwe barakundana cyane. Urugero, Felicia ufite imyaka 19 yaravuze ati “murumuna wanjye Irena ni umwe mu ncuti zanjye magara.”  * Naho Carly ufite imyaka 17 yavuze uko abanye na musaza we ufite imyaka 20 witwa Eric, agira ati “tubanye neza cyane kandi ntitujya turwana.”

Icyakora, abandi babanye nk’uko Lauren na Marla babanye. Lauren yaravuze ati “dupfa hafi buri kantu kose, kabone nubwo kaba ari akantu k’amafuti.” Mushobora nanone kuba mubanye nk’uko Alice ufite imyaka 12 abanye na musaza we Dennis. Yaravuze ati “antera umujinya, kandi yinjira mu cyumba cyanjye akantwarira ibintu atabinsabye. Nanga ko yigira nk’umwana!”

Ese uwo muva inda imwe ajya agutera umujinya? Birumvikana ko ababyeyi bawe ari bo bafite inshingano yo kugira icyo bakora, kugira ngo mu rugo hakomeze kurangwa amahoro. Ariko byatinda byatebuka, hari igihe bizaba ngombwa ko witoza kubana neza n’abandi. Ubwo rero, ibyiza ni uko watangira kubyitoreza mu rugo iwanyu.

Gerageza kwibuka ibibazo wagiranye n’uwo muva inda imwe. Mukunze gupfa iki? Reba muri ibi bintu bikurikira, maze ushyire aka kamenyetso ✔ ku kintu kikurakaza, cyangwa ucyandike.

□ Ibintu byawe. Mbabazwa n’uko uwo tuva inda imwe yitiza ibintu byanjye atambajije.

□ Imico itandukanye. Nanga ko uwo tuva inda imwe yikunda kandi ntagire icyo yitaho. Uretse n’ibyo, hari igihe aba ashaka kwivanga mu buzima bwanjye.

□ Ubuzima bwite. Uwo tuva inda imwe ajya agira atya akinjira mu cyumba cyanjye adakomanze, cyangwa agasoma ubutumwa bwo kuri telefoni cyangwa bwo kuri interineti ntabizi.

□ Ibindi. ․․․․․

Niba uwo muva inda imwe agutesha umutwe, agahora akugendaho cyangwa akwinjirira mu buzima, kubyihanganira bishobora kukugora. Icyakora, hari umugani wo muri Bibiliya ugira uti ‘gukanda izuru bizana amaraso no guhembera uburakari bikazana intonganya’ (Imigani 30:​33). Kubika inzika bishobora gutuma uzabiranywa n’uburakari, kimwe nuko gukanda izuru bishobora gutuma uva amaraso. Amaherezo ibyo bishobora gutuma ibintu birushaho kuzamba (Imigani 26:​21). Wakwirinda ute kugira uburakari bwatuma utongana? Icyo ugomba kubanza gukora ni ukumenya neza aho ikibazo kiri.

 Jya umenya aho ikibazo kiri

Ibibazo abana bava inda imwe bagirana byagereranywa n’ibiheri byo mu maso. Nubwo igiheri cyo mu maso kiba kikubangamiye, kiba cyatewe n’uburwayi butagaragara. Mu buryo nk’ubwo, iyo abantu bava inda imwe batonganye, akenshi ibyo biba bigaragaza ko hari ikindi kibazo bafitanye.

Hari igihe wumva ko gukanda igiheri, ari byo biri bugikize. Icyakora, icyo gihe ntuba uvuye indwara nyayo urwaye, bitewe n’uko hashobora gusigara inkovu cyangwa se ukaba watuma indwara irushaho gukomera. Uburyo bwiza bwo kuvura icyo giheri, ni ukuvura icyabiteye bityo ukaba wirinze ko haza ibindi byinshi. Ibyo ni na ko bimeze ku bibazo abantu bava inda imwe bagirana. Jya witoza kumenya aho ikibazo kiri, kugira ngo ugikemure ugihereye mu mizi. Nanone, ibyo bizagufasha gukurikiza inama yatanzwe n’umwami w’umunyabwenge Salomo, igira iti “ubushishozi bw’umuntu butuma atinda kurakara.”​—⁠Imigani 19:​11.

Urugero, Alice twigeze kuvuga yavuze ibya musaza we witwa Dennis, agira ati “yinjira mu cyumba cyanjye adakomanze kandi akitiza ibintu byanjye atambajije.” Icyo ni cyo gisa n’aho ari ikibazo bafitanye. Ariko se, utekereza ko ikibazo nyakuri bafitanye ari ikihe? Uko bigaragara, ikibazo bafitanye ni uko batubahana. *

Alice yashoboraga gukemura icyo kibazo yihanangiriza Dennis kutazongera kumwinjirira mu cyumba, cyangwa gukoresha ibintu bye. Ariko ibyo byaba ari nko gukanda igiheri utavuye icyagiteye, kandi bishobora gutuma havuka izindi mpaka. Nyamara, Alice ashoboye kuganira na Dennis akamwumvisha ko atagomba kumuvogera kandi ko agomba kubaha ibye, nta gushidikanya ko barushaho kubana neza.

Itoze gukemura amakimbirane cyangwa kuyirinda

Birumvikana ko iyo umaze gutahura ikibazo nyacyo ufitanye n’uwo muva inda imwe, bidasobanura ko uba ugikemuye burundu. None se,  wakora iki kugira ngo ugikemure kandi wirinde ko mwazongera gutongana? Gerageza gutera intambwe esheshatu zikurikira.

1. Mwemeranye ku mahame y’ingenzi mugomba gukurikiza. Umwami Salomo yaranditse ati “iyo hatabayeho kujya inama imigambi iburizwamo” (Imigani 15:​22). Kugira ngo wirinde kurakara, ongera usuzume ikibazo wavuze ko ari cyo cyatumye wowe n’uwo muva inda imwe mutumvikana. Reba niba mwakwishyiriraho amategeko amwe n’amwe mwembi mwemeranyaho, kandi ashobora gukemura ikibazo nyacyo mufitanye. Urugero, niba mutonganye mupfa ko yitije ibyawe, mushobora gushyiraho itegeko rya 1 rigira riti “buri gihe ujye ubanza usabe uburenganzira, mbere yo gutwara ikintu kitari icyawe.” Irya 2 rishobora kugira riti “jya wubaha uburenganzira uwo muvukana afite bwo kutagutiza igikoresho cye.” Mu gihe mwishyiriraho ayo mategeko, mujye muzirikana itegeko rya Yesu rigira riti “nuko rero ibintu byose mushaka ko abantu babagirira, ni byo namwe mugomba kubagirira” (Matayo 7:​12). Nimubigenza mutyo, muzashyiraho amategeko wowe n’uwo muvukana mushobora gukurikiza. Hanyuma, muzereke ababyeyi banyu ayo mategeko, kugira ngo mumenye niba bayemera.​—⁠Abefeso 6:​1.

2. Ujye ukurikiza ayo mategeko. Intumwa Pawulo yaranditse ati “none wigisha abandi, ntiwiyigisha ? Wowe ubwiriza ngo ‘ntukibe,’ uriba” (Abaroma 2:​21)? Iryo hame warishyira mu bikorwa ute? Urugero, niba wifuza ko uwo muva inda imwe atakuvogera, ubwo nawe wagombye gukomanga mbere yo kwinjira mu cyumba cye, cyangwa se ukirinda gusoma ubutumwa bwe kuri telefoni cyangwa kuri interineti atabizi.

3. Ntukarakazwe n’ubusa. Kuki twavuga ko iyo nama ari nziza? Nuko hari umugani wo muri Bibiliya ugira iti “abapfapfa ni bo barakazwa n’ubusa” (Umubwiriza 7:⁠9, Bibiliya Ijambo ry’Imana). Niba ukunda kurakazwa n’ubusa, ubuzima buzakubihira. Koko rero, hari igihe uwo muvukana azajya akora ibintu cyangwa akagira ibyo avuga bikakurakaza. Ariko ibaze uti “ese jye nigeze mukorera ibintu nk’ibi” (Matayo 7:⁠1-5). Jenny yaravuze ati “igihe nari mfite imyaka 13, numvaga ko igitekerezo cyanjye ari cyo cyiza kandi ko cyagombaga gukurikizwa byanze bikunze. Ubu murumuna wanjye na we ni cyo gihe agezemo. Ubwo rero, ngerageza kutarakazwa n’ibyo avuga.”

4. Jya ubabarira kandi wibagirwe. Ni iby’ukuri ko ibibazo bikomeye biba bigomba kuganirwaho kandi bigashakirwa umuti. Ariko se ubwo ni ngombwa ko uganira n’uwo muva inda imwe kuri buri kosa ryose akoze? Yehova ashimishwa n’uko ‘wirengagiza igicumuro’ (Imigani 19:​11). Alison ufite imyaka 19 yaravuze ati “ubusanzwe, jye na murumuna wanjye Rachel twikemurira ibibazo tugirana. Twese twihutira gusabana imbabazi, kandi tugasobanura impamvu tubona ko yaba yaratumye dushwana. Hari igihe mbanza kurara ntekereza ikibazo dufitanye mbere y’uko nkimubwira. Akenshi iyo bumaze gucya, kumubabarira  no kwirengagiza ibyo yankoreye biranyorohera, ku buryo mba numva atari ngombwa ko tubigarukaho.”

5. Mujye mwitabaza ababyeyi banyu. Niba wowe n’uwo muva inda imwe mudashobora gukemura ikibazo gikomeye mufitanye, ababyeyi banyu baba bashobora kubafasha kongera kumvikana (Abaroma 14:​19). Icyakora, mujye muzirikana ko iyo mushoboye gukemura ikibazo mufitanye mutitabaje ababyeyi banyu, ari bwo muba mugaragaje ko mumaze kuba bakuru.

6. Ujye utahura imico myiza y’abo muva inda imwe. Birashoboka ko abo muva inda imwe bafite imico igushimisha. Andika umuco ukundira buri wese mu bo muva inda imwe.

Izina Icyo mukundira

․․․․․ ․․․․․

Aho kugira ngo uhangayikishwe n’amakosa y’abo muva inda imwe, kuki utafata umwanya wo kubabwira icyo ubakundira?​—⁠Zaburi 130:​3; Imigani 15:​23.

Icyo ugomba kumenya: Nukura ukava iwanyu, hari igihe uzajya ubana n’abantu bakurakaza, baba abo mukorana cyangwa abandi bantu batagira ikinyabupfura, batagira icyo bitaho kandi bikunda. Ubwo rero, iwanyu ni ho hantu heza ushobora kwitoreza kuzajya ukemura ibibazo nk’ibyo mu mahoro. Niba kubana neza n’uwo muva inda imwe bikugora, ujye wibanda ku byiza ushobora kubikuramo. Uwo muntu muva inda imwe aba agutoza imico myiza izagufasha mu buzima.

Bibiliya yemera ko hari igihe umuvandimwe cyangwa mushiki wawe atakubera incuti magara ikunambaho (Imigani 18:​24). Icyakora, ushobora gushimangira ubucuti ufitanye n’abo muva inda imwe, ‘nimukomeza kwihanganirana’ ndetse no mu gihe waba ufite impamvu zumvikana zatumye ‘mugira icyo mupfa’ (Abakolosayi 3:​13). Nubigenza utyo, birashoboka ko abo muva inda imwe batazajya bakurakaza cyane. Kandi birashoboka ko nawe utazajya ukunda kubarakaza.

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

UBITEKEREZAHO IKI?

● Kuki ari iby’ingenzi ko utandukanya ibyabaye, n’ikibazo nyakuri cyabiteye?

● Mu bintu bitandatu tumaze kuvuga, ni ikihe ukeneye kunonosora kurusha ibindi?

[Agasanduku ko ku ipaji ya 17]

JYA UMENYA AHO IKIBAZO KIRI

  Ese waba wifuza kongera ubushobozi ufite bwo gutahura umuzi w’ibibazo abantu bava inda imwe bagirana? Niba ari uko bimeze, soma umugani wa Yesu w’umwana w’umuhungu wataye iwabo akajya kwaya umunani we​—Luka 15:11-32.

Gerageza gutahura ukuntu umuhungu mukuru yabyifashemo igihe murumuna we yagarukaga mu rugo, maze usubize ibibazo bikurikira:

Ni iki cyatumye umuhungu mukuru yitwara atyo?

Ukeka ko ikibazo cyari ikihe?

Se yagerageje ate gukemura icyo kibazo?

Ni iki umuhungu mukuru yagombaga gukora, kugira ngo akemure ikibazo?

Ngaho noneho tekereza ku kibazo uherutse kugirana n’uwo muva inda imwe, hanyuma wandike ibisubizo imbere y’ibibazo bikurikira:

Mwapfuye iki?

Ukeka ko ikibazo nyakuri ari ikihe?

Ni ayahe mategeko y’ibanze mugomba kwemeranyaho kugira ngo icyo kibazo gikemuke, bityo mwirinde kongera gushwana?

[Agasanduku/​Amafoto yo ku ipaji ya 18 n’iya 19]

ICYO BAGENZI BAWE BABIVUGAHO

“Kubera ko nifuza kugirana ubucuti na barumuna banjye mu gihe cyose nshigaje kubaho, nagombye kubitangira hakiri kare.”

“Mu muryango wacu dukorera ibintu hamwe, kandi ibyo bituma twunga ubumwe. Kubera iyo mpamvu, ntitugitongana cyane nk’uko byahoze.”

“Hari ibintu jye na murumuna wanjye dutandukaniyeho cyane. Ariko nanone, arihariye ku buryo nta cyo namunganya!”

“Hari ibintu byinshi byiza nkesha abo tuva inda imwe, ku buryo ntabafite byaba bindangiriyeho. Inama nagira abantu bose bafite abo bava inda imwe, ni ukubaha agaciro!”

[Amafoto]

Tia

Bianca

Samantha

Marilyn

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 17]

Ibibazo abana bava inda imwe bagirana byagereranywa n’ibiheri byo mu maso. Kugira ngo ubikemure, wagombye kubihera mu mizi