NK’UKO ushobora kuba wabiketse, amagambo ari hejuru yavuzwe n’umukobwa utarashaka, naho amagambo ari ahagana ibumoso avugwa n’umuntu washatse. Ariko icyo ushobora kuba utamenye, ni uko yose yavuzwe n’umuntu umwe.

Ubwo se byapfiriye he? None se niba uri hafi gushaka, wakora iki ngo ibyari inzozi bibe impamo, maze wirinde kuzagira urugo rubi?

Dore uko bigenda mu buzima: Kugira ngo uzagire urugo rwiza, ahanini bizaterwa n’ibyo witeze kuzabona nyuma yo gushaka.

Iyi ngingo, hamwe n’indi izakurikiraho, zizagufasha kutitega ibitangaza igihe uzaba umaze gushaka.

 None se ni ibihe bintu bishyize mu gaciro wakwitega mu ishyingiranwa? Dore muri make ibyo ari byo:

1. Itege ko uzabonamo inyungu

2. Itege ko uzahura n’ingorane

3. Itegure guhangana n’ibibazo bishobora kugutungura

Reka tubisuzume.

Bibiliya idutera inkunga yo kumva ko gushaka bihesha imigisha (Imigani 18:22). Dore zimwe mu nyungu ushobora kwitega kuzabona:

Uzaba ubonye incuti. Bibiliya igaragaza ko Adamu amaze kuremwa, Imana yavuze iti “si byiza ko uyu muntu akomeza kuba wenyine.” Nyuma yaho, yamuremeye Eva kugira ngo amubere incuti (Intangiriro 2:18). Imana yaremanye buri wese muri bo imico yihariye kugira ngo buzuzanye, nubwo bari batandukanye. Ku bw’ibyo, yaba umugabo cyangwa umugore, buri wese yari kubera mugenzi we incuti ihebuje.​—Imigani 5:18.

Uzaba ubonye uwo mufatanya. Bibiliya igira iti “ababiri baruta umwe, kuko iyo bari kumwe bashobora kugera kuri byinshi” (Umubwiriza 4:9, Good News Translation). Ibyo ni ko bimeze mu ishyingiranwa. Umugore ukiri muto uherutse gushaka witwa Brenda, * yaravuze ati “kugira ngo abashakanye bagire urugo rwiza, bagomba gukorera hamwe, bakicisha bugufi kandi buri wese akaba yiteguye kuva ku izima rimwe na rimwe.”

Uzishimira imibonano mpuzabitsina. Bibiliya igira iti “umugabo ahe umugore we ibyo amugomba, ariko umugore na we abigenzereze atyo umugabo we” (1 Abakorinto 7:3). Iyo ushatse, uba ushobora kwishimira imibonano mpuzabitsina udahangayitse, kandi ntugire icyo wicuza nk’uko bigenda ku bantu baryamana batarashyingiranwa.​—Imigani 7:22, 23; 1 Abakorinto 7:8, 9.

Umwanzuro: Ishyingiranwa ni impano ituruka ku Mana (Yakobo 1:17). Niwemera kuyoborwa n’amahame yayo, uzagira urugo rwiza kandi ugire ibyishimo.

Tekereza kuri ibi bikurikira: Ese ingero z’abantu bashatse nabi, wenda bakaba ari n’abo mu muryango wawe, ni zo zituma wumva ko gushaka ari bibi? Niba ari uko bimeze, ni iyihe miryango y’intangarugero wakwigana?

Bibiliya igaragaza ko tutagombye kwitega ibitangaza mu ishyingiranwa (1 Abakorinto 7:28). Dore zimwe mu ngorane ushobora kwitega kuzahura na zo:

Ubwumvikane buke. Uretse no kuba abantu badatunganye, nta bantu babiri bahuza muri byose (Abaroma 3:23). Ku bw’ibyo, nubwo waba ubona ko umugabo n’umugore bakwiranye, hari ibyo batumvikanaho. Hari n’igihe babwirana amagambo mabi, nyuma yaho bakabyicuza. Bibiliya igira iti “niba hari umuntu utarigeze avuga ijambo ribi, . . . yaba ari intungane” (Yakobo 3:2, Holy Bible​—Easy-to-Read Version). Iyo ibibazo bivutse, umugabo n’umugore babanye neza bashakisha uko babiganiraho n’uko babikemura, aho kubihunga.

Kutabona ibyo wari witeze. Umukobwa witwa Karen yaravuze ati “duhora tureba filimi n’ibiganiro bihita kuri televiziyo, bigaragaza ukuntu umukobwa agera aho akabana n’umuntu bahuje ‘neza neza,’ maze bagatunga bagatunganirwa.” Iyo umugabo n’umugore babanye, ariko ntibabane nk’uko babibonye muri za filimi, bombi bumva bashobewe. Birumvikana ko iyo abantu bamaze gushakana, buri wese ahita atangira kubona inenge n’ingeso za mugenzi we. Ariko ibanga ryo kugira icyo mugeraho, ni ukwibuka ko urukundo nyakuri “rwihanganira byose,” hakubiyemo no kutabona ibyo wari witeze.​—1 Abakorinto 13:4, 7.

Imihangayiko. Bibiliya igaragaza ko abashakanye ‘bahangayikishwa n’iby’isi’ (1 Abakorinto 7:33, 34). Iyo mihangayiko irasanzwe kandi akenshi iba ikwiriye. Urugero, kubona ibibatunga bishobora kugorana. Bishobora kuba ngombwa ko umugabo n’umugore bakora, kugira ngo babone ibyokurya, imyambaro n’aho kuba. Ariko nimukorera hamwe kugira ngo urugo rwanyu rubone ibyo rukeneye, muzagira icyo mugeraho.​—1 Timoteyo 5:8.

Umwanzuro: Nubwo kurambagiza biba bisa n’imikino, kubaka urugo byo si ugukina. Kugira ngo uhangane n’izo ngorane zose, bizagusaba ubuhanga no gushyiraho imihati, kandi ushobora kubigeraho.

Tekereza kuri ibi bikurikira: Ukemura ute ibibazo ugirana n’ababyeyi bawe n’abo muva inda imwe? Ese iyo hari ibyo mutumvikanaho, urabyihanganira? Iyo uhangayitse ubyifatamo ute?