Uwo mwashakanye arakubwiye ati “ntujya unyumva.” Ariko wowe si uko ubibona. Uribwiye uti “si byo nkora gusa ra!” Ariko kandi, ibyo wumvise si byo uwo mwashakanye yashakaga kuvuga. Ibyo bigira izihe ngaruka? Bituma muhora mu ntonganya.

Nubwo byaba bimeze bityo ariko, ushobora kwirinda ayo makimbirane. Kugira ngo ubigereho, ugomba kubanza gusobanukirwa impamvu hari ibintu by’ingenzi uwo mwashakanye avuga ariko ntubyumve, nubwo waba wibwira ko wamuteze amatwi.

Kurangara cyangwa kunanirwa. Reka tuvuge ko abana barimo basakuza na televiziyo isakuza, kandi ukaba urimo utekereza ku kibazo wahuye na cyo ku kazi. Noneho uwo mwashakanye atangiye kukuvugisha, akubwira ko hari abantu bari bubasure kuri uwo mugoroba. Uhise wikiriza, uti “nta kibazo.” Ariko se koko ibyo akubwiye urabyumvise? Birashoboka ko utabyumvise.

Gufata ibintu uko bitari. Ibi ni ibintu biteje akaga abantu bakunze kwita “gutekerereza umuntu.” Bibaho iyo uwo mwashakanye akubwiye ikintu maze ugahita wibwira ko hari ikindi cyihishe inyuma y’ibyo akubwiye, nyamara mu by’ukuri ari wowe ushobora kuba urimo ukabiriza ibintu. Urugero, reka tuvuge ko uwo mwashakanye akubwiye ati “iki cyumweru wamaze igihe kirekire ukora amasaha y’ikirenga.” Kubera ko wumvise ko arimo akunenga, uhise umubwira uti “si wowe ubitera se? Ngomba gukora amasaha y’ikirenga bitewe n’uko usesagura amafaranga.” Uwo mwashakanye arakubwiye ati “humura sinashakaga kuvuga ko ibyo ukora ari bibi.” Icyo yashakaga kugusaba gusa, ni uko mwazasohokana mu mpera z’icyumweru.

Wihutira gushaka umuti w’ikibazo. Umugore witwa Marcie * yaravuze ati “hari igihe mba nshaka gusa kuvuga uko merewe, ariko Mike agahita ambwira uko nakemura icyo kibazo. Nyamara jye si byo mba nshaka. Mba nifuza gusa ko amenya uko merewe.” Urumva ikibazo Mike afite ari ikihe? Yihutira gushaka umuti w’ikibazo. Ibyo bizatuma atumva bimwe mu byo Marcie amubwira, cyangwa ntagire n’icyo yumva.

None se uko ikibazo waba ufite cyaba kimeze kose, wakora iki ngo witoze gutega amatwi?

Jya utega amatwi witonze. Ese iyo hari ikintu cy’ingenzi uwo mwashakanye ashaka kukubwira, uba witeguye kumutega amatwi? Ushobora kuba utabyiteguye. Ubwenge bwawe bushobora kuba buri ahandi. Niba ari uko bimeze, ntugashake kumwereka ko umuteze amatwi, kandi atari ko bimeze. Niba bishoboka, reka ibyo wakoraga maze umutege amatwi witonze, cyangwa se umusabe kwihangana gato kugeza igihe uri bube witeguye kumutega amatwi.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Yakobo 1:19.

Jya ubanza utege amatwi, hanyuma ubone kugira icyo uvuga. Mu gihe uteze amatwi uwo mwashakanye, ujye wirinda kumuca mu ijambo cyangwa kumuvuguruza. Nawe uba uri bugire igihe cyo kuvuga. Icyo uba usabwa icyo gihe ni ukumutega amatwi gusa.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Imigani 18:13.

Jya ubaza ibibazo. Kubaza ibibazo bituma urushaho kumva ibyo uwo mwashakanye avuga. Marcie twigeze kuvuga, yagize ati “iyo Mike ambajije ibibazo biranshimisha, kuko binyereka ko ashishikajwe n’ibyo mubwira.”

Jya wibanda ku butumwa aho kwibanda ku magambo. Jya uzirikana icyo ashaka kuvuga binyuze ku bimenyetso by’umubiri, amaso n’ijwi akoresha. Uwo mwashakanye ashobora kukubwira ati “ni byiza,” nyamara ashaka kuvuga ngo “si byiza” bitewe n’uko abivuze. Ashobora kukubwira ati “nta na rimwe ujya umfasha,” nyamara ashaka kuvuga ngo “numva nsa n’aho nta gaciro mfite imbere yawe.” Jya ugerageza gutahura icyo ashatse kuvuga nubwo yaba atari cyo avuze. Naho ubundi, wazasanga mukunda kujya impaka ku magambo yakoresheje, aho kwibanda ku cyo yashakaga kumvikanisha.

Ntukarambirwe kumutega amatwi. Ntukajye ugaragaza ko utamwitayeho cyangwa ngo wigendere, kabone n’iyo ibyo avuga byaba bitagushimishije. Urugero, byagenda bite mu gihe uwo mwashakanye arimo akunenga? Gregory umaze imyaka irenga 60 ashatse, yatanze inama igira iti “jya ukomeza kumutega amatwi. Jya wita ku byo uwo mwashakanye akubwira ubivanye ku mutima. Nubwo ibyo bisaba ko umuntu aba akuze mu rugero runaka, bizagira akamaro.”—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Imigani 18:15.

Jya ugaragaza ko ushishikajwe by’ukuri n’ibyo avuga. Gutega amatwi umuntu nta kindi bisaba uretse urukundo. Iyo ushishikajwe by’ukuri n’ibyo uwo mwashakanye avuga, kumutega amatwi birizana kandi bigatuma murushaho kuganira nk’uko musanzwe muganira. Nubigenza utyo, uzaba ukurikije inama yo muri Bibiliya, igira iti “buri wese yite ku nyungu za mugenzi we, aho kwita ku ze gusa.”—Abafilipi 2:4, Good News Translation.