Wowe wikundira umupira, uwo mwashakanye akikundira gusoma ibitabo. Ukunda gushyira ibintu byawe kuri gahunda, naho uwo mwashakanye agira akajagari. Ukunda gusabana, ariko uwo mwashakanye yikundira ko mwaba muri mwenyine.

Ushobora gutekereza uti ‘uyu muntu ntidukwiranye pe! Kuki koko ntabibonye kare tukirambagizanya?’

Burya wabibonye kera urabyirengagiza, kuko wabonaga bidakabije. Ubwo rero, ujye ukomeza kubibona utyo na nyuma yo kubana na we. Iyi ngingo izagufasha kubigeraho. Reka tubanze dusuzume ibyo wagombye kuzirikana.

Bimwe mu byo mutandukaniyeho biba bikomeye. Ikintu cy’ingenzi mwagombye kwitaho mu gihe murambagizanya ni ukumenya niba mukwiranye. Bityo rero, hari benshi babona bahabanye cyane maze bagahitamo guhagarika umushinga wo kubana kuko baba babona ko batazashobokana. None se, byagenda bite mu gihe hari utuntu tworoheje mutandukaniyeho, dore ko nta bahuza ijana ku ijana?

Abantu babiri ntibashobora guhuza muri byose. Ku bw’ibyo rero, si igitangaza kuba hari ibyo mutandukaniyeho, urugero nk’ibi bikurikira:

Ibibashimisha. Umugore witwa Anna * yaravuze ati “sinkunda gutembera, ariko umugabo wanjye we akunda gutembera mu misozi miremire iriho amasimbi no mu mashyamba.”

Ibyo mwamenyereye. Umugabo witwa Brian yaravuze ati “umugore wanjye ashobora kuryama akerewe akabyuka iya rubika kandi ntagire ikibazo. Ariko jye ndyama nibura amasaha arindwi cyangwa umunani, bitaba ibyo nkirirwa nabi.”

Imico. Ushobora kuba wivugira make, uwo mwashakanye akaba yivugira byose. Umugabo witwa David yaravuze ati “nakuze nta muntu mbwira ibibazo byanjye, ariko umugore wanjye yakuriye mu muryango w’abantu bakemurira ibibazo hamwe.”

Hari igihe ibyo mutabona kimwe bigira akamaro. Umugore witwa Helena yaravuze ati “nzi neza ko nubwo naba nkora ibintu neza, atari jye kamara.”

Mujye mushyigikirana. Umugabo witwa Adam yaravuze ati “umugore wanjye Karen ntakunda siporo na busa. Ariko ajya amperekeza mu mupira, byaba ngombwa akamfasha kogeza. Karen we akunda gusura amazu ndangamurage, kandi njya muherekeza tukamarayo igihe yifuza. Nkora uko nshoboye nkabikunda, kuko mbona ko abiha agaciro.”—Ihame rya Bibiliya: 1 Abakorinto 10:24.

Jya waguka, uhindure imitekerereze. Kuba uwo mwashakanye afite ibintu akunda wowe ukaba utabikunda, ntibivuga ko afite amakosa. Dore uko Alex abyumva akurikije ibyamubayeho. Yagize ati “akenshi numvaga ko hari uburyo bumwe rukumbi bwo gukora ibintu neza. Ariko gushaka byamfashije kumenya ko mu buzima, hari inzira nyinshi zo kugera ku byo wifuza, kandi ko n’abandi bagira ibitekerezo byiza.”—Ihame rya Bibiliya: 1 Petero 5:5.

Jya ushyira mu gaciro. Kuba mukwiranye ntibisobanura ko mumeze kimwe. Bityo rero, ntukumve ko washatse nabi bitewe gusa n’uko hari utuntu runaka mutabona kimwe. Hari igitabo cyagize kiti “abantu benshi bakunda kuvuga bati ‘erega amaso akunda ntabona neza.’” Cyakomeje kigira kiti “nyamara umunsi wose mumarana mwishimye, werekana ko nubwo mufite ibyo mutandukaniyeho, mushobora gukomeza gukundana” (The Case Against Divorce). Ubwo rero “mukomeze kwihanganirana . . . igihe umuntu agize icyo apfa n’undi.”—Abakolosayi 3:13.

Gerageza gukora ibi: Andika ibintu ukunda uhuriyeho n’uwo mwashakanye, hanyuma wandike n’ibyo utekereza ko mutandukaniyeho. Amaherezo uri busange ibyo mutandukaniyeho byoroheje kurusha uko ubitekereza. Urwo rutonde ruzakwereka nanone aho ugomba kumwihanganira cyangwa kumushyigikira. Umugabo witwa Kenneth yagize ati “iyo umugore wanjye agize ibyo ahindura kugira ngo duhuze, biranshimisha cyane kandi nanjye nzi neza ko iyo mbigenje ntyo, bimushimisha. Iyo yishimye nanjye numva nezerewe, nubwo byaba byansabye kugira ibyo nigomwa.”—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Abafilipi 4:5.