1. Nubwo ubusanzwe ishyingiranwa ritangirana n’ibyishimo, ni iki abashakanye bakwitega? (Reba ifoto ibimburira iki gice.)

IYO umugeni warimbye ageze imbere y’umukwe ku munsi w’ubukwe bwabo, baba bishimye bitavugwa. Mu gihe barambagizanyaga, urukundo rwabo rwariyongereye cyane ku buryo ubu biteguye guhiga umuhigo wo kutazahemukirana. Birumvikana ko hari ibyo baba bagomba guhindura iyo batangiye kubana mu rugo rwabo rushya. Ariko Ijambo ry’Imana ritanga inama nziza ku bantu bose bahitamo gushaka, kubera ko Imana yuje urukundo ari yo yatangije umuryango, kandi ikaba yifuza ko abashakanye bagira urugo rwiza rurangwa n’ibyishimo (Imig 18:22). Icyakora Bibiliya itubwira yeruye ko abantu badatunganye bashakana, “bazagira imibabaro mu mubiri wabo” (1 Kor 7:28). None se hakorwa iki kugira ngo iyo mibabaro ibe mike? Kandi se Abakristo bakora iki ngo bagire urugo rwiza?

2. Ni ayahe moko y’urukundo abashakanye bagombye kugaragarizanya?

² Bibiliya igaragaza ko urukundo ari ingenzi cyane. Urukundo rurangwa n’ubwuzu rurakenewe mu bashakanye. Nanone  bakeneye urukundo rurangwa hagati y’abadahuje igitsina, kuko rutuma barushaho kwishimana. Urukundo rurangwa hagati y’abagize umuryango na rwo rugira akamaro iyo bamaze kugira abana. Icyakora, urukundo rushingiye ku mahame ni rwo rutuma abashakanye bagira urugo rwiza. Urwo rukundo ni rwo intumwa Pawulo yavugaga, igihe yandikaga ati “umuntu wese muri mwe abe ari ko akunda umugore we nk’uko yikunda; ku rundi ruhande, umugore agomba kubaha cyane umugabo we.”—Efe 5:33.

3. Urukundo rw’abashakanye rwagombye kuba rukomeye mu rugero rungana iki?

³ Pawulo yaranditse ati “bagabo, mukomeze gukunda abagore banyu nk’uko Kristo na we yakunze itorero kandi akaryitangira” (Efe 5:25). Abigishwa ba Yesu bigana urugero rwe, bagomba gukundana nk’uko na we yabakunze. (Soma muri Yohana 13:34, 35; 15:12, 13.) Urukundo Abakristo bashakanye bagaragarizanya rwagombye kuba rukomeye cyane ku buryo bibaye ngombwa umwe yakwemera gupfira undi. Icyakora iyo abashakanye bafitanye ibibazo bikomeye, bashobora kumva urukundo rwabo rudakomeye bigeze aho. Ariko urukundo rushingiye ku mahame, “rutwikira byose, rwizera byose, rwiringira byose, rwihanganira byose.” Koko rero, “urukundo ntirushira” (1 Kor 13:7, 8). Iyo abashakanye batinya Imana kandi bakibuka ko bahize umuhigo wo kutazahemukirana, bibafasha gukemura ibibazo ibyo ari byo byose bishobora kuvuka, bifashishije amahame ya Yehova yo mu rwego rwo hejuru.

4, 5. (a) Inshingano y’umugabo yo kuba umutware w’umuryango ikubiyemo iki? (b) Umugore yagombye kubona ate ubutware? (c) Ni ibihe bintu umugabo n’umugore we bahinduye?

⁴ Pawulo yagaragaje inshingano ya buri wese mu bashakanye agira ati “abagore bagandukire abagabo babo nk’uko bagandukira Umwami, kuko umugabo ari umutware w’umugore we, nk’uko Kristo na we ari umutware w’itorero” (Efe 5:22, 23). Ibyo ntibishaka kuvuga ko umugore adafite agaciro imbere y’umugabo we. Ahubwo bimufasha gusohoza inshingano Imana yahaye abagore igihe yavugaga iti “si byiza ko uyu muntu [Adamu] akomeza kuba wenyine. Ngiye kumuha umufasha wo kumubera icyuzuzo” (Intang 2:18). Umugabo w’Umukristo agomba gukoresha ubutware bwe mu buryo burangwa n’urukundo nk’uko Kristo “umutware w’itorero” agaragaza urukundo. Iyo umugabo abigenje atyo, umugore we yumva afite umutekano, akishimira kumwubaha, akamushyigikira kandi akamugandukira.

⁵ Cathy ^[1] yagaragaje ko kubaka urugo bisaba kugira ibyo umuntu ahindura, agira ati “nkiri umuseribateri nari iyizimiza ikicyura. Gushaka byansabye kugira ibyo mpindura, nitoza kujya ngisha inama umugabo wanjye. Buri gihe si ko byabaga byoroshye, ariko gukorera hamwe nk’uko Yehova abishaka, byatumye turushaho kunga ubumwe.” Umugabo we witwa Fred yaravuze ati “gufata imyanzuro ntibyanyoroheraga. Ariko maze gushaka, byarushijeho kugorana kuko nagombaga gufata imyanzuro nzirikana abantu babiri. Icyakora ubu bigenda birushaho kunyorohera, kuko nishingikiriza kuri Yehova mu isengesho kandi nkita ku bitekerezo by’umugore wanjye. Ubu twunze ubumwe.”

6. Ni mu buhe buryo iyo mu muryango havutse ibibazo, urukundo “rwunga abantu mu buryo bwuzuye”?

⁶ Kugira ngo urugo rukomere, buri wese mu bashakanye aba agomba kwihanganira kudatungana kwa mugenzi we. Bagomba ‘gukomeza kwihanganirana no kubabarirana rwose.’ Bose bakora amakosa. Ariko iyo bayakoze, bashobora kuyavanamo amasomo, bakitoza kubabarira, kandi  bakemera ko urukundo rwabo ‘rubunga mu buryo bwuzuye’ (Kolo 3:13, 14). Nanone “urukundo rurihangana kandi rukagira neza. . . . Ntirubika inzika y’inabi rwagiriwe” (1 Kor 13:4, 5). Abakristo bashakanye bagombye guhita bakemura ibyo batumvikanyeho. Bagombye kugerageza gukemura ibibazo byose bagiranye izuba ritararenga (Efe 4:26, 27). Kubwira umuntu ubikuye ku mutima uti “mbabarira nakubabaje” bisaba ubutwari no kwicisha bugufi, ariko bihita bikemura ibibazo kandi bigatuma abashakanye barushaho kunga ubumwe.

7, 8. (a) Ni iyihe nama Bibiliya igira abashakanye ku birebana n’imibonano mpuzabitsina? (b) Kuki abashakanye bagomba kugaragarizanya urukundo rurangwa n’ubwuzu?

⁷ Bibiliya itanga inama nziza zishobora gufasha abashakanye gushyira mu gaciro mu gihe buri wese aha mugenzi we ibyo amugomba. (Soma mu 1 Abakorinto 7:3-5.) Ni iby’ingenzi cyane ko buri wese yita ku byiyumvo bya mugenzi we kandi akamuha ibyo akeneye. Iyo umugore atitaweho ngo agaragarizwe ubwuzu, kwishimira imibonano mpuzabitsina biramugora. Abagabo bagomba kubana n’abagore babo ‘bahuje n’ubumenyi’ (1 Pet 3:7). Imibonano mpuzabitsina ntigomba gukorwa ku gahato, ahubwo yagombye gukorwa buri wese abyishimiye. Nubwo akenshi umugabo ashishikazwa vuba no gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, yagombye gutegereza igihe bombi baba biteguye.

⁸ Bibiliya ivuga ibyo kugaragarizanya urukundo rurangwa n’ubwuzu mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina, nubwo itarimo urutonde rw’amategeko agaragaza ibyemewe n’ibitemewe (Ind 1:2; 2:6). Abakristo bashakanye bagombye kugaragarizanya urukundo rurangwa n’ubwuzu.

9. Kuki kwifuza kugirana imibonano mpuzabitsina n’umuntu mutashyingiranywe bidakwiriye?

⁹ Urukundo rukomeye abashakanye bakunda Imana na bagenzi babo, ruzatuma batemera ko hagira ikintu icyo ari cyo cyose gisenya urugo rwabo. Hari imiryango yagiye izamo umwuka mubi cyangwa igasenyuka bitewe n’uko umwe mu bashakanye yabaswe no kureba porunogarafiya. Abashakanye bagomba kurwanya cyane ikintu cyose cyatuma bareba porunogarafiya cyangwa bakifuza kugirana imibonano mpuzabitsina n’undi muntu batashyingiranywe. Bagombye no kwirinda gukora ikintu cyose cyagaragara nk’aho ari ukugirana agakungu n’umuntu batashakanye, kuko ibikorwa nk’ibyo bitarangwa n’urukundo. Kwibuka ko Imana izi ibitekerezo byacu n’ibikorwa byacu, bizatuma dushimangira icyifuzo dufite cyo kuyishimisha no gukomeza kuba indakemwa.—Soma muri Matayo 5:27, 28; Abaheburayo 4:13.

10, 11. (a) Gutana kw’abashakanye byogeye mu rugero rungana iki? (b) Bibiliya ivuga iki ku birebana no kwahukana? (c) Ni iki cyafasha abashakanye kutihutira kwahukana?

¹⁰ Iyo abashakanye bahorana ibibazo bikomeye, umwe muri bo cyangwa bombi ashobora gutekereza kwahukana cyangwa gutana. Mu bihugu bimwe na bimwe, hafi kimwe cya kabiri cy’abashakana baratana. Ibyo ntibikunze kubaho mu itorero rya gikristo. Icyakora, nta wabura guhangayikishwa n’uko ibibazo by’abashakanye bikomeje kwiyongera mu bagaragu b’Imana.

¹¹ Bibiliya igira iti ‘umugore ntagomba kuva ku mugabo we. Ariko aramutse yahukanye, akomeze kuba aho adashatse undi, cyangwa se asubirane n’umugabo we; kandi umugabo na we ntagomba gusiga umugore we’ (1 Kor 7:10, 11). Nta  wagombye kwihutira gufata umwanzuro wo kwahukana. Iyo abashakanye bafitanye ibibazo bikomeye, kwahukana bishobora gusa n’aho ari cyo gisubizo. Icyakora akenshi bikunze guteza ibindi bibazo. Yesu amaze kuvuga ko Imana yari yaravuze ko umugabo azasiga se na nyina akabana n’umugore we akaramata, yongeyeho ati “icyo Imana yateranyirije hamwe ntihakagire umuntu ugitandukanya” (Mat 19:3-6; Intang 2:24). Ibyo nanone bisobanura ko yaba umugabo cyangwa umugore nta wagombye ‘gutandukanya icyo Imana yateranyirije hamwe.’ Yehova abona ko abashakanye bagomba kubana akaramata (1 Kor 7:39). Kuzirikana ko buri wese muri twe azamurikira Imana ibyo yakoze, byagombye gutuma abashakanye bihutira gukemura ibibazo bitarakomera.

12. Ni iki gishobora gutuma abashakanye batekereza kwahukana?

¹² Kwitega ibintu bidashyize mu gaciro bishobora kuba intandaro y’ibibazo by’abashakanye. Iyo umuntu atabonye ibyo yari yiteze mu rushako, ashobora kumva yarashutswe, atanyuzwe ndetse akaba umurakare. Nanone abantu bashobora kugirana ibibazo bitewe n’uko batandukanye mu byiyumvo, batakuriye hamwe cyangwa bakagirana ubwumvikane buke bushingiye ku mafaranga, bene wabo no kurera abana. Icyakora twishimira ko Abakristo benshi bashakanye bemera kuyoborwa n’Imana bakabonera umuti ibyo bibazo byose.

13. Ni izihe mpamvu zifatika zatuma umuntu yahukana?

¹³ Hari igihe hashobora kubaho impamvu zumvikana zituma umuntu yahukana. Zimwe mu zatumye bamwe bahukana, zikubiyemo kuba umuntu yanga nkana gutunga urugo, agira urugomo rukabije, kandi akaba yaramaramaje kubuza uwo bashakanye kuyoboka Imana. Abakristo bafite ibibazo bikomeye mu rugo rwabo bagombye kwegera abasaza bakabafasha. Abo bavandimwe b’inararibonye bashobora gufasha abashakanye, bakabereka uko bakurikiza inama zo mu Ijambo ry’Imana. Mu gihe dushakira umuti ibibazo by’umuryango, nanone twagombye gusenga Yehova tumusaba umwuka wera, tukamusaba kudufasha gukurikiza amahame ya Bibiliya no kwera imbuto z’umwuka.—Gal 5:22, 23. ^[2]

14. Bibiliya ibwira iki Abakristo bashakanye n’abantu badasenga Yehova?

¹⁴ Hari igihe Umukristo aba yarashakanye n’umuntu udasenga Yehova. Bibiliya itanga impamvu zagombye gutuma akomeza kubana na we. (Soma mu 1 Abakorinto 7:12-14.) Uwo bashakanye utizera yaba abyemera cyangwa atabyemera, “yezwa” n’uko yashakanye n’umuntu usenga Yehova. Imana ibona ko abana babo na bo ari “abera.” Pawulo yarabajije ati “wa mugore we, ubwirwa n’iki niba utazakiza umugabo wawe, cyangwa se wa mugabo we, ubwirwa n’iki niba utazakiza umugore wawe” (1 Kor 7:16)? Amatorero y’Abahamya ba Yehova hafi ya yose arimo Abakristo bagize uruhare mu ‘gukiza’ abo bashakanye batizeraga.

15, 16. (a) Ni iyihe nama Bibiliya igira Abakristokazi bafite abagabo badasenga Yehova? (b) Umukristo yabigenza ate niba uwo bashakanye ‘utizera ashatse gutandukana na we’?

¹⁵ Intumwa Petero yagiriye Abakristokazi inama yo kugandukira abagabo babo ‘kugira ngo niba hari n’abagabo batumvira ijambo, bareshywe n’imyifatire yabo nta jambo bavuze, kuko bazaba bibonera imyifatire yabo izira amakemwa, kandi irangwa no kubaha cyane.’ Iyo umugore agaragaje “umwuka wo gutuza no kugwa neza, kuko ari wo ufite agaciro kenshi mu maso y’Imana,” ashobora gutuma umugabo we ayoboka ugusenga k’ukuri kuruta uko yakwihutira kumubwiriza.—1 Pet 3:1-4.

¹⁶ Ariko se byagenda bite niba umwe mu bashakanye utizera ahisemo kwahukana?  Bibiliya igira iti “niba utizera ashatse gutandukana na mugenzi we, nagende. Mu mimerere nk’iyo, umuvandimwe cyangwa mushiki wacu ntaba akiboshywe, kuko Imana yabahamagariye amahoro” (1 Kor 7:15). Ibyo ntibisobanura ko Umukristo aba abonye impamvu ishingiye ku Byanditswe imwemerera kongera gushaka, ariko nanone ntahatirwa kugerageza kubuza uwo bashakanye utizera kwigendera. Kwahukana bishobora gutanga amahoro. Umukristo ashobora kwiringira ko uwo bashakanye wamutaye azagera aho akagaruka yiteguye kubaka kandi amaherezo akazizera.

17. Ni iki Abakristo bashatse bagombye gushyira mu mwanya wa mbere?

¹⁷ Kubera ko turi mu “minsi y’imperuka,” turi ‘mu bihe biruhije, bigoye kwihanganira’ (2 Tim 3:1-5). Ariko nidukomeza kuba abantu bakomeye mu buryo bw’umwuka, tuzananira amoshya y’iyi si. Pawulo yaranditse ati ‘igihe gisigaye kiragabanutse. Ku bw’ibyo, abafite abagore bamere nk’abatabafite, n’abakoresha isi bamere nk’abatayikoresha mu buryo bwuzuye’ (1 Kor 7:29-31). Pawulo ntiyasabaga abashakanye kwirengagiza inshingano z’urugo. Ahubwo bagombaga gushyira iby’Ubwami mu mwanya wa mbere, kuko igihe cyari kigabanutse.—Mat 6:33.

18. Kuki Abakristo bashobora kugira urugo rwiza kandi rurangwa n’ibyishimo?

¹⁸ Nubwo turi mu bihe biruhije cyane, kandi imiryango myinshi ikaba yugarijwe n’ibibazo, kugira urugo rwiza rurangwa n’ibyishimo birashoboka. Koko rero, Abakristo bashatse bakomeza kwifatanya n’abagize ubwoko bwa Yehova, bagakurikiza inama za Bibiliya kandi bakemera ko umwuka wera wa Yehova ubayobora, bashobora kurinda “icyo Imana yateranyirije hamwe.”—Mar 10:9.