Mbese Bibiliya ishobora kugufasha kurera abana bawe?

HARI ururabo rwiza cyane bita orchidée, ariko kuruhinga biragorana cyane. Kugira ngo ubigereho, uba ugomba kurumenyera urugero rw’ubushyuhe n’urw’urumuri ruba rukeneye ndetse n’ubunini bw’ikintu uzaruteramo. Ruba rushaka ubutaka ndetse n’ifumbire byihariye kandi rukunze kwibasirwa n’indwara n’udukoko. Ku bw’ibyo, ni ibisanzwe cyane ko iyo umuntu ateye urwo rurabo bwa mbere rumupfira ubusa.

Kurera abana byo ariko biragoye cyane kurushaho kandi bibamo ibibazo byinshi, bikanasaba kubitaho mu buryo bwihariye. Birasanzwe rero ku babyeyi kumva batazi uko bazarera abana babo. Abenshi bumva bakeneye ubafasha, kimwe n’uko umuntu ushaka guhinga ururabo bita orchidée aba akeneye inama z’umuntu wabizobereyemo. Uko bigaragara, buri mubyeyi yifuza kubona ubuyobozi buruta ubundi bwose. Ubuyobozi nk’ubwo bwava he?

N’ubwo Bibiliya atari igitabo gikubiyemo amategeko arebana n’ibyo kurera abana, Umuremyi yahumekeye abanditsi bayo kugira ngo bayishyiremo inama nyinshi z’ingirakamaro zirebana n’ibyo kurera abana. Bibiliya itsindagiriza ibyo gushyiraho imihati tukihingamo imico myiza, usanga abantu benshi batekereza ko ikunze kwirengagizwa (Abefeso 4:22-24). Mu birebana n’ibyo, inama Ibyanditswe bitanga, ziduha ikintu cy’ingenzi cya ngombwa washingiraho utanga uburere bushyize mu gaciro. Abantu babarirwa mu bihumbi babayeho mu bihe bitandukanye no mu mico itandukanye bashyize mu bikorwa izo nama, zarabafashije cyane. Bityo, inama zikurikira zishingiye ku Byanditswe zishobora kugufasha kurera neza abana bawe.

Urugero rw’ababyeyi ni bwo burere bwiza cyane kuruta ubundi

‘Mbese wigisha abandi, ntiwiyigisha? Ko uhana kwiba, nawe ukiba? Ko uvuga ngo “ntugasambane,” nawe usambana?’—Abaroma 2:21, 22.

Umuyobozi w’Inama Nkuru y’Uburezi muri Séoul yagize ati “gutanga urugero mu magambo no mu bikorwa ni bwo buryo bwiza bwo kurera umwana.” Niba ababyeyi badatanze urugero rwiza mu byo bavuga no mu byo bakora kandi ngo bahe umwana amabwiriza asobanutse neza, umwana ntazatinda kubona ko ababyeyi be ari indyarya. Amagambo ababyeyi bamubwira nta cyo azaba akimubwiye. Urugero, niba ababyeyi bifuza kwigisha umwana wabo kuvugisha ukuri, bo ubwabo bagombye kuvugisha ukuri. Birogeye cyane ko iyo ababyeyi bamwe badashaka kwitaba telefoni, babwira umwana wabo ngo avuge ati “wihangane, papa (cyangwa mama) nta wuhari.” Umwana uhawe ayo mabwiriza yumva bimubangamiye kandi bikamutera urujijo. Nyuma y’igihe, ashobora gutangira kubeshya yumva nta n’isoni afite mu gihe yakoze amakosa. Ku bw’ibyo rero, niba ababyeyi bashaka ko umwana wabo aba umuntu uvugisha ukuri, na bo ubwabo baba bagomba kuvugisha ukuri kandi bagakora ibihuje n’ibyo bavuga.

Urifuza gutoza umwana wawe kuvuga amagambo arangwa n’ikinyabupfura? Ubwo rero biragusaba kumuha urugero. Umwana wawe azahita akwigana. Sung-sik, umugabo ufite abana bane, agira ati “jye n’umugore wanjye twiyemeje kutazajya dukoresha amagambo akarishye kandi ateye isoni. Twarubahanaga kandi ntitwajyaga tuvugira hejuru ndetse no mu gihe twabaga twarakaranyije cyangwa twababaye.  Gutanga urugero rwiza byagize ingaruka cyane kurusha kuvuga amagambo gusa. Dushimishwa n’uko abana bacu bubaha kandi bagaragaza ikinyabupfura mu gihe baganira n’abandi.” Mu Bagalatiya 6:7, Bibiliya ivuga ko “ibyo umuntu abiba ari byo azasarura.” Ababyeyi bashaka ko abana babo bagendera ku mahame mbwirizamuco yo mu rwego rwo hejuru, bagomba kubanza kugaragaza ko na bo ubwabo bagendera kuri ayo mahame.

Komeza gushyikirana n’abana bawe

‘Ujye ugira umwete wo kwigisha [amategeko y’Imana] abana bawe, ujye uyavuga wicaye mu nzu yawe, n’uko ugenda mu nzira n’uko uryamye n’uko ubyutse.’—Gutegeka 6:7.

Ibyo gukora amasaha y’ikirenga biragenda byiyongera. Iyo umugabo n’umugore bombi bafite akazi, bigira ingaruka zikomeye ku bana. Igihe ababyeyi benshi bamarana n’abana babo kigenda kigabanuka. Iyo ababyeyi bari mu rugo bakora uturimo two mu rugo, bityo ugasanga bananiwe baguye agacuho. None se ubwo muri iyo mimerere, ni gute mushobora gukomeza kugirana imishyikirano myiza n’abana banyu? Muramutse mukoranye n’abana banyu uturimo two mu rugo, mushobora kuboneraho uburyo bwo kuganira na bo. Hari umugabo wakuye televiziyo mu rugo, cyane cyane agira ngo ajye abona umwanya wo kuganira n’abana be. Agira ati “mu mizo ya mbere wasangaga abana bigunze, ariko uko nagendaga nkina na bo imikino yo kubabaza utubazo tw’ubwenge kandi tukaganira ku bitabo bishishikaje, baje kugera aho bamenyera kutareba televiziyo.”

Ni iby’ingenzi ko abana bamenyerezwa kuva bakiri bato kuganira n’ababyeyi babo. Bitagenze bityo, mu gihe abana bazaba bageze mu kigero cy’ubugimbi kandi bahanganye n’ibibazo, ntibazigera batekereza ko ababyeyi babo ari incuti bashobora kubwira ibyo bibazo byabo. Ni gute wabafasha kugira ngo bakubwire ibibari ku mutima? Mu Migani 20:5 hagira hati “imigambi yo mu mutima w’umuntu ni nk’amazi y’imuhengeri, ariko umunyabwenge azayifindura.” Binyuriye mu kubabaza ibibazo bibashishikariza kuvuga icyo batekereza, urugero nk’iki ngo “urabitekerezaho iki?,” ababyeyi bashobora gutera abana babo inkunga yo kuvuga ibyiyumvo ndetse n’ibitekerezo byabo.

Uzakora iki umwana wawe nakora ikosa rikomeye? Icyo ni cyo gihe aba akeneye ko umwitaho mu buryo bwuje urukundo. Jya umenya kwiyumanganya mu gihe utega amatwi umwana. Hari umugabo wavuze ukuntu yitwara muri iyo mimerere agira ati “iyo abana bakoze amakosa, ngerageza kutarakara cyane. Ndicara ngatega amatwi ibyo baba bashaka kumbwira. Ngerageza kumva uko byagenze. Iyo mbonye biri bungore kwiyumanganya, ndategereza hagashira akanya nkabanza ngacururuka.” Nubasha kwiyumanganya kandi ugatega amatwi, abana bazarushaho kwemera igihano uzabaha.

Igihano gishingiye ku rukundo ni ngombwa

“Namwe ba se ntimugasharirire abana banyu, ahubwo mubarere mubahana, mubigisha iby’Umwami wacu.”—Abefeso 6:4.

Kugira ngo igihano kigire ingaruka nziza, ugomba kugitanga mu buryo bwuje urukundo. Byagenda bite se ababyeyi baramutse ‘bashaririye abana babo’? Niba umwana ahawe igihano kidakwiranye n’uburemere bw’ikosa rye, cyangwa se kikaba gikagatiza cyane, birumvikana ko atazacyemera. Buri gihe igihano cyagombye kujya gitangwa mu buryo bwuje urukundo (Imigani 13:24). Nuganira n’abana bawe ukabafasha gutekereza, bazabona ko  burya ubahana ubitewe n’uko ubakunda.—Imigani 22:15; 29:19.

Ku rundi ruhande, ni byiza ko abana bagerwaho n’ingaruka mbi z’imyitwarire yabo mibi. Urugero, niba umwana akoshereje undi muntu, ugomba kumubwira akamusaba imbabazi. Iyo arenze kuri amwe mu mategeko agenga umuryango, ushobora kumwima ibintu bimwe na bimwe akunda kugira ngo umwumvishe ko ari ngombwa kumvira amategeko.

Ni byiza gutanga igihano mu gihe gikwiriye. Mu Mubwiriza 8:11 hagira hati “kuko iteka ry’umurimo mubi rituzura vuba [“kubera ko abantu baba batahise bahanirwa umurimo mubi,” NW], ni cyo gituma imitima y’abantu ishishikarira gukora ibibi.” Mu buryo nk’ubwo, abana benshi bagerageza kumenya niba bashobora kudahanwa bamaze gukora amakosa. Ubwo rero niba waramaze kubaburira ko bazahanwa nibakora ikosa runaka, ugomba kubahana bakimara kurikora.

Imyidagaduro myiza ifite agaciro

Hari “igihe cyo guseka . . . n’igihe cyo kubyina.”—Umubwiriza 3:1, 4.

Igihe cyo kuruhuka no kugira imyidagaduro myiza kandi ishyize mu gaciro, kirakenewe kugira ngo umubiri ndetse n’ubwenge by’umwana bikure neza. Iyo ababyeyi bidagaduriye hamwe n’abana babo, imirunga ibahuza irushaho gukomera kandi abana bakumva bafite umutekano. Ni iyihe myidagaduro abagize umuryango bose bashobora gukorera hamwe? Uramutse ufashe igihe cyo kubitekerezaho, ushobora kubona ibintu byinshi bishimishije mushobora gukora. Hari ibintu byiza mushobora kuzajya mwibuka muramutse mutembereye nk’ahantu habegereye mukajya kwihera ijisho uko hateye.

Mu bihe nk’ibyo, ababyeyi bagombye gucengeza mu mitima y’abana babo igitekerezo cyo kubona imyidagaduro mu buryo bushyize mu gaciro. Umukristo ufite abana batatu b’abahungu yagize ati “ngerageza kwifatanya mu myidagaduro y’abana banjye uko bishoboka kose. Urugero, nk’iyo bakina imikino yo kuri orudinateri mbabaza uko ikinwa. Mu gihe baba bansobanurira bishimye, mboneraho akanya ko kubabwira ibihereranye n’akaga katerwa n’imyidagaduro mibi. Naje kubona ko basigaye banga imyidagaduro idakwiriye.” Ni koko, abana bashimishwa n’imyidagaduro bagirana n’umuryango wose, ntibakunze kureba ibiganiro bya televiziyo, za videwo, amafilimi ndetse n’imikino yo kuri Internet igaragaza urugomo, ubwiyandarike ndetse n’abakoresha ibiyobyabwenge.

Fasha abana bawe kugira incuti nziza

“Ugendana n’abanyabwenge azaba umunyabwenge na we, ariko mugenzi w’abapfu azabihanirwa.”—Imigani 13:20.

Umugabo w’Umukristo washoboye kurera abana bane neza agira ati “uko abana bahitamo incuti ni ikintu cy’ingenzi cyane. Incuti imwe mbi ishobora gusenya ibyo wari waragezeho byose.” Kugira ngo afashe abana be kubona incuti nziza, yababazaga abigiranye ubwenge ibibazo nk’ibi ngo “ni nde ncuti yawe ya bugufi? Umukundira iki? Ni iki wumva wamwiganaho?” Undi mubyeyi ajya akora ku buryo abana be batumira iwabo incuti zabo za bugufi. Ubwo noneho aba ashobora kubitegereza maze agaha abana be inama z’ingirakamaro.

Ni iby’ingenzi kandi kwigisha abana ko bashobora kugirana ubucuti n’abantu bakuze kimwe n’abo mu rungano rwabo. Bum-sun, umugabo ufite abana batatu b’abahungu agira ati “mfasha abana banjye gusobanukirwa ko incuti  zitagomba kuba iz’urungano rwabo gusa, nk’uko byari bimeze kuri Yonatani na Dawidi bavugwa muri Bibiliya. Mu by’ukuri, ntumira amatsinda y’Abakristo bari mu kigero cy’imyaka itandukanye bakaza kwifatanya n’abana banjye. Ibyo bituma abana banjye bifatanya n’abantu batari ab’urungano rwabo.” Kwifatanya n’abantu bakuze b’intangarugero biha abana uburyo bwo kwiga ibintu byinshi.

Ushobora guha abana bawe uburere bwiza

Dukurikije iperereza ryakozwe muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika, ababyeyi bagerageje gucengeza mu mitima y’abana babo imico nk’iyi ikurikira: kwirinda, kwicyaha no kuvugisha ukuri, nta cyo bagezeho kigaragara. Kuki ibyo byabakomereye cyane? Umubyeyi wagize icyo asubiza muri iryo perereza ryakozwe yagize ati “ikibabaje ni uko uburyo bumwe rukumbi dufite bwo kurinda abana bacu ari ukubafungiranira mu nzu, ntitubareke ngo bajye mu isi.” Yashakaga kuvuga ko imimerere ubu abana bakuriramo ari mibi cyane kurusha uko byahoze mbere hose. None se ubwo mu by’ukuri, bishoboka bite ko umuntu yarerera abana muri iyo mimerere akagira icyo ageraho?

Uramutse ushaka guhinga rwa rurabo rwa orchidée ariko ugahangayikishwa n’uko rushobora kuzuma, ushobora gucika intege. Ariko umuntu wazobereye mu buhinzi bw’izo ndabo, aje akakugira inama nziza hanyuma akakubwira afite icyizere ati “humura nubigenza utya uzabishobora rwose,” mbega ukuntu wakumva wiruhukije! Yehova, we uzi neza kamere muntu kurusha undi muntu uwo ari we wese, atanga inama zirebana n’uburyo bwiza kurusha ubundi bwo kurera abana. Agira ati “menyereza umwana inzira akwiriye kunyuramo, azarinda asaza atarayivamo” (Imigani 22:6). Nurera abana uhuje n’inama ziri muri Bibiliya, ushobora kuzagira ibyishimo byo kubona abana bawe bakura, bakaba abantu bakuze bazi gufata imyanzuro, bita ku bandi, kandi bagendera ku mahame arebana n’iby’umuco. Bazakundwa n’abantu, ariko cyane cyane bazakundwa na Yehova, Data wa twese wo mu ijuru.