No muri iki gihe abantu bashobora kugira ishyingiranwa ryiza

“Mwambare urukundo, kuko ari rwo murunga wo gutungana rwose.”​—ABAKOLOSAYI 3:14.

1, 2. (a) Ni ikihe kintu gitera inkunga tubona mu itorero rya gikristo? (b) Ishyingiranwa ryiza riba rimeze rite?

MBESE ntidushimishwa no kubona mu bagize itorero rya gikristo harimo abagabo n’abagore benshi bashyingiranywe bamaze imyaka 10, 20, 30 cyangwa se irenzeho babana mu budahemuka? Bakomeje kuba indahemuka ku bo bashakanye haba mu byishimo cyangwa mu byago.—Itangiriro 2:24.

² Abenshi biyemerera ko ishyingiranwa ryabo ritagiye riburamo ibibazo. Hari umuntu umwe wanditse ati “ishyingiranwa n’ubwo ryaba ryiza rite ntiribura ibibazo. Rigira ibihe byiza rikagira n’ibibi. . . . Uko biri kose ariko . . . abagize iryo shyingiranwa bakomeza kubana n’ubwo bagerwaho n’ibibazo biterwa n’imibereho igoranye yo muri iki gihe.” Abantu bafite ishyingiranwa ryiza bize guhangana n’ingorane zitabura kubaho zituruka ku bibazo bagiye bahura na byo mu buzima, cyane cyane iyo bafite abana. Binyuriye ku byababayeho, abo bagabo n’abagore biboneye ubwabo ko urukundo nyakuri ‘rudashira.’—1 Abakorinto 13:8.

3. Ni iki imibare igaragaza ku birebana n’ishyingiranwa no gutana kw’abashakanye, kandi se, ibyo bizamura ibihe bibazo?

³ Ibinyuranye n’ibyo, hari imiryango ibarirwa muri za miriyoni yasenyutse. Hari raporo imwe yagize iti “kimwe cya kabiri cy’abagabo n’abagore bashyingiranwa muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika baba bitezweho kuzatandukana. Kandi kimwe cya kabiri cy’abo batandukana, batandukana bataramarana n’imyaka umunani. Ku bantu 75 ku ijana bashaka bundi bushya, abagera kuri 60 ku ijana bongera gutana.” Ndetse no mu bihugu ugereranyije bitari bisanzwe bifite umubare munini w’abatana, ubu uwo mubare wariyongereye. Urugero ni nko mu Buyapani aho umubare w’abashakanye batana wikubye hafi incuro ebyiri mu myaka ya vuba aha. Ni ibihe bibazo bibitera, rimwe na rimwe bijya bigera no ku bagize itorero  rya gikristo? Ni iki gikenewe kugira ngo ishyingiranwa ribe ryiza, n’ubwo Satani akora uko ashoboye kose kugira ngo arisenye?

Imitego umuntu agomba kwirinda

4. Ni ibihe bintu bimwe na bimwe bishobora gusenya ishyingiranwa?

⁴ Ijambo ry’Imana ridufasha gusobanukirwa impamvu zishobora gutuma ishyingiranwa risenyuka. Reka dufate urugero rw’amagambo intumwa Pawulo yavuze ku bihereranye n’imimerere yari kubaho muri iyi minsi y’imperuka. Yagize ati “mu minsi y’imperuka hazaza ibihe birushya, kuko abantu bazaba bikunda, bakunda impiya, birarīra, bibona, batukana, batumvira ababyeyi babo, indashima, batari abera, badakunda n’ababo, batūzura, babeshyerana, batirinda, bagira urugomo, badakunda ibyiza, bagambana, ibyigenge, bikakaza, bakunda ibibanezeza aho gukunda Imana, bafite ishusho yo kwera ariko bahakana imbaraga zako. Abameze batyo ujye ubatera umugongo.”—2 Timoteyo 3:1-5.

5. Kuki umuntu ‘wikunda’ ashyira mu kaga ishyingiranwa rye, kandi se ni iyihe nama Bibiliya itanga mu birebana n’ibyo?

⁵ Iyo dusuzumye neza ayo magambo ya Pawulo, tubona ko mu byo yavuze harimo byinshi bishobora gusenya ishyingiranwa. Urugero, abantu “bikunda” bashaka inyungu zabo bwite kandi ntibazirikana abandi. Abagabo cyangwa abagore bikunda biyemeza bamaramaje kugera ku byo bifuza. Ntibava ku izima kandi ntibagoragozwa. Ese iyo myifatire yatuma ishyingiranwa riba ryiza? Oya rwose. Intumwa Pawulo yagiriye inama Abakristo hakubiyemo n’abashakanye, agira ati “ntimukagire icyo mukorera kwirema ibice cyangwa kwifata uko mutari, ahubwo mwicishe bugufi mu mitima, umuntu wese yibwire ko mugenzi we amuruta. Umuntu wese muri mwe areke kwizirikana ubwe gusa, ahubwo azirikane n’abandi.”—Abafilipi 2:3, 4.

6. Ni gute gukunda amafaranga bishobora gusenya ishyingiranwa?

⁶ Gukunda amafaranga bishobora gutanya abashakanye. Pawulo yatanze umuburo ugira uti “abifuza kuba abatunzi bagwa mu moshya no mu mutego, no mu irari ryinshi ry’ubupfu ryangiza, rikaroha abantu mu bibahenebereza bikabarimbuza. Kuko gukunda impiya ari umuzi w’ibibi byose, hariho abantu bamwe bazirarikiye barayoba, bava mu byo kwizera bihandisha imibabaro myinshi” (1 Timoteyo 6:9, 10). Ikibabaje ni uko muri iki gihe ayo magambo y’umuburo ya Pawulo asohorera ku miryango myinshi. Kubera gushaka ubutunzi, abantu benshi bashatse birengagiza ibyo bagenzi babo bashakanye baba bakeneye, hakubiyemo n’ibintu by’ibanze bakenera mu buryo bw’ibyiyumvo, bakanirengagiza ko buri gihe baba bakeneye kuba bari kumwe na bo.

7. Ni iyihe myifatire yagiye ituma umwe mu bashakanye ahemukira mugenzi we?

⁷ Pawulo yanavuze ko muri iyi minsi y’imperuka bamwe bari kuba atari ‘abera, badakunda n’ababo, batuzura.’ Umuhigo abashyingiranwa bahiga ni isezerano rikomeye cyane ryagombye gutuma babana akaramata, ntibahemukirane (Malaki 2:14-16). Nyamara ariko, hari bamwe bagiye bakundana n’abandi bagabo cyangwa abandi bagore batari abo bashakanye. Umugore umwe ugeze mu kigero cy’imyaka 30, umugabo we yataye, yavuze ko na mbere y’uko umugabo we amuta, yari yaratangiye kujya agirana ubucuti n’abandi bagore akabagaragariza ubwuzu mu buryo burenze urugero. Yananiwe kumenya imyifatire umugabo washatse adakwiriye kugira. Iyo uwo mugore yabibonaga byaramubabazaga cyane maze akagerageza kumuburira abigiranye amakenga ko iyo nzira yarimo yashoboraga kumuteza akaga. Ikibabaje ariko, ni uko yaje kugwa mu cyaha cy’ubusambanyi. N’ubwo uwo mugabo yaburiwe mu buryo burangwa n’ubugwaneza, ntiyigeze atega amatwi. Yaguye muri uwo mutego.—Imigani 6:27-29.

8. Ni iki gishobora gutuma umuntu akora icyaha cy’ubusambanyi?

⁸ Bibiliya iduha umuburo usobanutse neza wo kwirinda ubusambanyi! Igira iti “usambana n’umugore nta mutima afite, ugenza atyo aba arimbuye ubugingo bwe” (Imigani 6:32). Akenshi igikorwa cy’ubusambanyi si ikintu gipfa kuza gutya gusa. Nk’uko umwanditsi wa Bibiliya witwa Yakobo yabigaragaje, akenshi icyaha  cy’ubusambanyi gikorwa iyo umuntu yagize icyo gitekerezo ntacyikuremo (Yakobo 1:14, 15). Umwe mu bashakanye w’umunyamakosa agenda buhoro buhoro ahemukira uwo bashyingiranywe, wa wundi yahigiye umuhigo w’uko azakomeza kubana na we mu budahemuka ubuzima bwe bwose. Yesu yagize ati “mwumvise ko byavuzwe ngo ‘ntugasambane.’ Jyeweho ndababwira yuko umuntu wese ureba umugore akamwifuza, aba amaze gusambana na we mu mutima we.”—Matayo 5:27, 28.

9. Ni iyihe nama irangwa n’ubwenge dusanga mu Migani 5:18-20?

⁹ Ku bw’ibyo rero, igitabo cy’Imigani gikubiyemo imyifatire irangwa n’ubwenge kandi yiringirwa umuntu akwiriye kugira. Kigira kiti “isōko yawe ihirwe, kandi wishimire umugore w’ubusore bwawe. Nk’imparakazi ikundwa n’isirabo nziza, amabere ye ahore akunezeza, kandi ujye wishimira cyane urukundo rwe. Mwana wanjye, kuki wakwishimira umugore w’inzaduka, ukagira ngo uhoberane na we?”—Imigani 5:18-20.

Ntukihutire gushaka

10. Kuki ari iby’ubwenge gufata igihe ukabanza ukamenya neza uwo uteganya kuzashyingiranwa na we?

¹⁰ Umugabo n’umugore bashyingiranywe bashobora guhura n’ibibazo mu gihe baba barashakanye huti huti. Bashobora kuba bakiri bato cyane, bataraca akenge. Cyangwa se wenda bashobora kuba batarafashe igihe cyo kumenyana, ngo bamenye ibyo buri wese akunda n’ibyo yanga, intego ze n’imimerere yakuriyemo. Ni iby’ubwenge ko umuntu yakomeza kwihangana, agafata igihe cyo kumenya neza uwo ateganya kuzashyingiranwa na we. Tekereza kuri Yakobo umuhungu wa Isaka. Yagombye kumara imyaka irindwi akorera uwari kuzaba sebukwe, mbere y’uko yemera kumushyingira Rasheli. Yemeye kumukorera kubera ko yakundaga Rasheli urukundo nyakuri, akaba atari yarakuruwe n’isura gusa.—Itangiriro 29:20-30.

11. (a) Ishyingiranwa rihuza abantu bameze bate? (b) Kuki kuvuga amagambo arangwa n’ubwenge ari iby’ingenzi ku bashakanye?

¹¹ Ishyingiranwa rirenze ibyo kugaragarizanya urukundo ibi by’agahararo. Ishyingiranwa rihuza abantu babiri bakuriye mu mimerere itandukanye, bafite kamere n’ibyiyumvo bitandukanye, akenshi bize n’amashuri atandukanye. Rimwe na rimwe baba bafite imico itandukanye, wenda badahuje n’ururimi. N’ubwo kandi imimerere yavuzwe haruguru yaba nta kibazo ibateye, abashyingiranwa ntibashobora kubona ibintu kimwe. Abo bantu bombi rero ni bo baba bagize ishyingiranwa. Bashobora kuba ari abantu bahora banenga kandi bitotomba, cyangwa bakaba abantu bavuga amagambo atera inkunga kandi yubaka. Koko rero, amagambo tuvuga ashobora gukomeretsa cyangwa agakiza uwo twashakanye. Amagambo umuntu avuga atabanje kuyatekerezaho ashobora rwose gusenya ishyingiranwa.—Imigani 12:18; 15:1, 2; 16:24; 21:9; 31:26.

12, 13. Abateganya gushaka baterwa inkunga yo kugira iyihe mitekerereze ishyize mu gaciro?

¹² Ku bw’ibyo rero, ni iby’ubwenge gufata igihe ukamenya neza uwo uteganya kuzashyingiranwa na we. Hari Mushiki wacu w’inararibonye wavuze ati “mu gihe usuzuma uwo  uteganya kuzashyingiranwa na we, jya utekereza nko ku bintu icumi wifuza ko uwo muntu yaba yujuje. Usanze yujuje birindwi gusa, ushobora kwibaza uti ‘ese niteguye kwirengagiza ibyo bitatu bibuzeho? Ese nzihanganira ibyo bintu abura, mu mibereho ya buri munsi?’ Mu gihe waba wumva ushidikanya, wagenza make maze ukongera ukabitekerezaho.” Birumvikana ko ugomba kuba umuntu ushyira mu gaciro. Niba ushaka gushyingirwa, ugomba kumenya ko utazigera ubona umugabo cyangwa umugore w’intungane. Uwo muzashakana na we ni uko, ntazaba abonye intungane!—Luka 6:41.

¹³ Ishyingiranwa risaba kwigomwa. Ibyo Pawulo yarabitsindagirije igihe yavugaga ati “ndashaka ko mutiganyira. Ingaragu yiganyira iby’Umwami wacu uko yamunezeza, ariko uwarongoye yiganyira iby’isi ngo abone uko anezeza umugore we. Kandi hariho itandukaniro ry’umugore n’umwari. Utarongowe yiganyira iby’Umwami kugira ngo abe uwera ku mubiri no ku mutima, ariko uwarongowe yiganyira iby’iyi si, ngo abone uko anezeza umugabo we.”—1 Abakorinto 7:32-34.

Impamvu imiryango imwe n’imwe isenyuka

14, 15. Ni ibihe bintu bishobora gutuma urukundo ruhuza abashakanye rukendera?

¹⁴ Vuba aha hari Umukristokazi wahungabanyijwe no gutana n’umugabo we, wamutaye nyuma y’imyaka 12 bari bamaze bashyingiranywe maze akajya kwibanira n’undi mugore. Mbese hari ibimenyetso runaka uwo mushiki wacu yari yarabonye mbere y’uko ibyo biba? Yaravuze ati “byageze n’igihe yari atagisenga. Iyo yabaga yasibye amateraniro no kwifatanya mu murimo wo kubwiriza, yakundaga gutanga impamvu zidafashije zabimuteye. Yangaga kumarana igihe nanjye akavuga ko afite akazi kenshi cyangwa ko ananiwe cyane. Ntiyamvugishaga. Ntitwari tukiganira ku bintu byo mu buryo bw’umwuka. Byari ibintu bibabaje cyane. Ntiyari akiri wa mugabo twashyingiranywe.”

¹⁵ Hari n’abandi bavuga ko babonye ibimenyetso nk’ibyo ku bo bashakanye, urugero nko kwirengagiza icyigisho cya bwite cya Bibiliya, gusenga no kujya mu materaniro ya gikristo. Mu yandi magambo, abantu benshi bata abo bashakanye baba bararetse imishyikirano bafitanye na Yehova ikagenda ikendera. Ingaruka ziba iz’uko badakomeza guhanga amaso ku bintu byo mu buryo bw’umwuka. Ntibakomeza kubona Yehova nk’Imana ihoraho. Ntibakomeza kubona ko isi nshya yasezeranyijwe, iyo gukiranuka kuzabamo, izabaho koko. Rimwe na rimwe, uzasanga ko uwo muntu w’umuhemu aba yaratangiye gucika intege mu buryo bw’umwuka na mbere y’uko atangira gukungika n’undi utari uwo bashyingiranywe.—Abaheburayo 10:38, 39; 11:6; 2 Petero 3:13, 14.

16. Ni iki gituma ishyingiranwa rikomera?

¹⁶ Mu buryo bunyuranye n’ubwo, hari umugabo n’umugore bashyingiranywe bafite ibyishimo bavuze ko kuba bafite ishyingiranwa ryiza biterwa no kuba bunze ubumwe bukomeye mu buryo bw’umwuka. Basengera hamwe kandi bakigira hamwe. Umugabo yaravuze ati “dusomera Bibiliya hamwe. Tujyana kubwiriza. Dukunda gukorera ibintu hamwe.” Ibi bigaragaza ko gukomeza kugirana imishyikirano myiza na Yehova ari byo ahanini bituma ishyingiranwa rikomera.

Mujye mushyira mu gaciro kandi mushyikirane

17. (a) Ni ibihe bintu bibiri bishobora kugira uruhare mu gutuma ishyingiranwa riba ryiza? (b) Ni gute Pawulo yasobanuye urukundo rwa gikristo?

¹⁷ Hari ibindi bintu bibiri bituma ishyingiranwa riba ryiza: urukundo rwa gikristo no gushyikirana. Iyo abantu babiri bagitangira gukundana, usanga buri wese ashaka kwirengagiza amakosa y’undi. Uwo mugabo n’umugore bashobora gushyingiranwa buri wese yiteze ibitangaza ku wundi, wenda bakurikije ibyo bagiye basoma mu bitabo bivuga iby’urukundo cyangwa ibyo babonye muri za filimi. Amaherezo ariko, bagera aho bakabona ko burya ibintu atari uko bimeze. Icyo gihe ni bwo udukosa duto duto cyangwa izindi nenge zoroheje bishobora guhinduka ibibazo bikomeye. Mu gihe ibyo bibayeho, Abakristo baba bagomba kugaragaza imbuto z’umwuka, imwe muri zo ikaba ari  urukundo (Abagalatiya 5:22, 23). Koko rero, urukundo rugira imbaraga. Pawulo yavuze ku bihereranye n’urwo rukundo rwa gikristo agira ati “urukundo rurihangana rukagira neza . . . ntirushaka ibyarwo, ntiruhutiraho, ntirutekereza ikibi ku bantu . . . rubabarira byose, rwizera byose, rwiringira byose, rwihanganira byose” (1 Abakorinto 13:4-7). Biragaragara neza ko urukundo nyakuri rwihanganira intege nke z’abantu. Mu by’ukuri, ntirwitega ubutungane ku bandi.—Imigani 10:12.

18. Ni gute gushyikirana bishobora gukomeza ishyingiranwa?

¹⁸ Kumenya gushyikirana na byo ni iby’ingenzi. Uko imyaka umugabo n’umugore bashyingiranywe bamaranye yaba ingana kose, bagombye kuganira kandi buri wese agatega undi amatwi by’ukuri. Hari umugabo umwe wavuze ati “tubwirana ibituri ku mutima ariko mu buryo burangwa n’urukundo.” Uko igihe kigenda gihita, umugabo cyangwa umugore ntiyiga gutega amatwi ibyo mugenzi we avuze gusa ahubwo yiga no gutahura ibyo atavuze. Mu yandi magambo, uko imyaka igenda ihita, umugabo n’umugore bafite ishyingiranwa ryiza bamenya gutahura icyo uwo bashakanye atekereza cyangwa ibyiyumvo bye. Hari abagore bamwe bavuga ko abagabo babo batabatega amatwi by’ukuri. Abagabo na bo bakitotomba bavuga ko abagore babo baba bifuza ko babaganiriza mu gihe kidakwiriye. Gushyikirana bisaba kwishyira mu mwanya w’undi no kumwumva. Gushyikirana mu buryo bwiza ni iby’ingenzi ku mugabo n’umugore bashyingiranywe.—Yakobo 1:19.

19. (a) Kuki gusaba imbabazi bishobora kugorana? (b) Ni iki kizadusunikira gusaba imbabazi?

¹⁹ Rimwe na rimwe, gushyikirana biba bikubiyemo gusaba imbabazi. Ibyo si ko buri gihe biba byoroshye. Bisaba kwicisha bugufi kugira ngo umuntu yemere amakosa ye. Ariko se mbega ukuntu ibyo bishobora gutuma ishyingiranwa rikomera! Gusaba imbabazi nta buryarya bishobora gukemura ikibazo cyashoboraga guteza amakimbirane, kandi bigatuma abantu bababarirana babikuye ku mutima, n’ikibazo bari bafite kigakemuka. Pawulo yagize ati ‘mwihanganirane kandi mubabarirane ibyaha, uko umuntu agize icyo apfa n’undi. Nk’uko Umwami wacu yabababariye, abe ari ko namwe mubabarirana. Ariko ibigeretse kuri ibyo byose mwambare urukundo, kuko ari rwo murunga wo gutungana rwose.’—Abakolosayi 3:13, 14.

20. Ni gute umugabo cyangwa umugore w’Umukristo yagombye gufata uwo bashakanye haba igihe bari bonyine cyangwa bari kumwe n’abandi?

 ²⁰ Gushyigikirana na byo ni iby’ingenzi ku bashakanye. Umugabo n’umugore b’Abakristo bashyingiranywe bagombye kwiringirana no gushyigikirana. Umwe ntiyagombye gutesha undi agaciro cyangwa ngo atume atakaza icyubahiro cye. Abakristo bashyingiranywe bashimira abo bashakanye babigiranye urukundo; nta bwo babanenga mu buryo bwo kubasesereza (Imigani 31:28b). Mu by’ukuri, ntibabatesha agaciro babavugaho ibintu by’amashyengo y’ubupfapfa (Abakolosayi 4:6). Uko gushyigikirana gushimangirwa n’urukundo bahora bagaragarizanya. Iyo umwe akoze ku wundi cyangwa akamubwira akajambo keza, biba ari nko kumubwira ati “ndacyagukunda. Kuba uri kumwe nanjye biranshimisha cyane.” Ibyo ni bimwe mu bintu bishobora gutuma abashakanye bagira ishyingiranwa ryiza ndetse no muri iki gihe. Hariho n’ibindi, kandi igice gikurikira kizagaragaza izindi nama zishingiye ku Byanditswe zafasha umuntu kugira ishyingiranwa ryiza. *

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

Mbese ushobora gusobanura?

• Ni ibihe bintu bimwe na bimwe bishobora gusenya ishyingiranwa?

• Kuki bidahuje n’ubwenge kwihutira gushaka?

• Ni gute imimerere yo mu buryo bw’umwuka igira ingaruka ku ishyingiranwa?

• Ni ibihe bintu bishobora gutuma ishyingiranwa rikomera?

[Ibibazo]

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 12]

Ishyingiranwa rirenze ibyo kugaragarizanya urukundo ibi by’agahararo

[Amafoto yo ku ipaji ya 14]

Kugirana na Yehova imishyikirano myiza bituma umugabo n’umugore bagira ishyingiranwa ryiza