Inyungu zibonerwa mu kuba indahemuka

MU BIHUGU bimwe na bimwe, abana bashimishwa no gukina bomeka ibishokoro ku mupira wa mugenzi wabo. Ibyo bishokoro bifata ku mupira kandi icyo uwo mwana yakora cyose ni ukuvuga yagenda, yakwiruka, yakwikunkumura, yasimbuka, ibishokoro bigumaho. Uburyo bumwe rukumbi bwo kubivanaho ni ukugenda ushokora kimwe kimwe. Uwo mukino ushimisha cyane abakiri bato.

Birumvikana ariko ko buri wese atishimira kubona ibishokoro ku myenda ye, ariko kandi buri wese atangazwa n’ubushobozi bifite bwo gufata. Umuntu w’indahemuka na we ni uko aba ameze. Yizirika ubutanamuka kuri mugenzi we, bakagirana imishyikirano irambye. Akomeza gusohoza mu budahemuka inshingano asabwa n’iyo mishyikirano ndetse no mu mimerere ituma bigorana. Ijambo “ubudahemuka” rituma dutekereza indi mico myiza, urugero nko kuvugisha ukuri, kurwanira ishyaka umuntu cyangwa ikintu no kwitanga utizigamye. Ariko se, n’ubwo ushobora kuba wishimira ko abandi bakubera indahemuka, mbese nawe wamaramaje kubera abandi indahemuka? Niba ari uko bimeze se, wagombye kuba indahemuka kuri nde?

Ubudahemuka ni ikintu cy’ibanze gikenewe mu ishyingiranwa

Mu ishyingiranwa ni ho hantu ubudahemuka buba bukenewe cyane; ariko ikibabaje ni uko akenshi budakunze kuharangwa. Umugabo n’umugore bakomera ku isezerano ryo kutazahemukirana mu ishyingiranwa ryabo, bagakomeza kubana kandi buri wese agakorera mugenzi we ibyiza, baba barateye intambwe y’ingenzi ibaganisha ku byishimo n’umutekano. Kubera iki? Ni ukubera ko abantu baremanywe kamere yo kugaragaza no gushaka kugaragarizwa ubudahemuka. Igihe Adamu na Eva bashyingiranwaga mu busitani bwa Edeni, Imana yaravuze iti ‘umuntu azasiga se na nyina, abane n’umugore we akaramata, bombi babe umubiri umwe.’ Iryo hame ryarebaga n’umugore, na we yagombaga kubana akaramata n’umugabo we. Umugabo n’umugore bagomba kugaragarizanya ubudahemuka kandi bagafatanyiriza hamwe.—Itangiriro 2:24; Matayo 19:3-9.

Birumvikana ariko ko hashize imyaka ibarirwa mu bihumbi ibyo bivuzwe. None se ibyo bishatse kuvuga ko kugaragarizanya ubudahemuka mu ishyingiranwa bitagihuje n’igihe? Abenshi bashobora gusubiza ko atari uko biri. Ubushakashatsi bwakorewe mu Budage bwagaragaje ko abantu 80 ku ijana babona ko ubudahemuka ari ikintu cy’ingenzi cyane mu ishyingiranwa. Hakozwe irindi perereza ryari rigamije kumenya imico iranga abagabo n’abagore yifuzwa cyane kurusha indi. Itsinda ry’abagabo ryasabwe gushyira ku rutonde imico itanu myiza kurusha iyindi bifuza ko abagore bagira, naho abagore basabwa gushyira ku rutonde imico itanu bifuza cyane ko abagabo bagira. Umuco washimagijwe cyane n’abagore ndetse n’abagabo, ni ubudahemuka.

Koko rero, ubudahemuka ni kimwe mu bigize urufatiro rwo kugira ishyingiranwa ryiza. Nyamara nk’uko twabibonye mu ngingo ibanziriza iyi, abantu bashimagiza ubudahemuka ariko ntibashaka kubugaragaza. Urugero, ugutana  kw’abashakanye kwafashe intera ikomeye mu bihugu byinshi, ni igihamya cy’uko ubuhemu bwogeye. Ni gute abashakanye barwanya iyo ngeso kandi buri wese akabera mugenzi we indahemuka?

Ubudahemuka butuma ishyingiranwa riramba

Ubudahemuka bugaragazwa iyo abashakanye bashatse uburyo bwo kongera kwerekana ko buri wese yitangiye mugenzi we atizigamye. Urugero, ubusanzwe birushaho kuba byiza iyo umuntu avuze ngo “byacu” aho kuvuga ngo “byanjye,” ni ukuvuga “incuti zacu,” “abana bacu,” “inzu yacu,” “ibyatubayeho” n’ibindi n’ibindi. Igihe umugabo n’umugore bateganya ibyo bazakora cyangwa bafata imyanzuro, yaba ari irebana n’aho gutura, akazi, uburere bw’abana, imyidagaduro, ikiruhuko cyangwa ibikorwa by’idini, byaba byiza buri wese azirikanye ibyiyumvo n’ibitekerezo bya mugenzi we.—Imigani 11:14; 15:22.

Buri wese mu bashakanye aba indahemuka kuri mugenzi we amugaragariza ko yifuzwa kandi ko akenewe. Iyo umwe mu bashakanye agaragaje ko yitaye cyane ku wundi muntu badahuje igitsina, bituma uwo bashakanye yumva nta mutekano afite. Bibiliya igira abagabo inama yo kubana akaramata n’ ‘umugore w’ubusore bwabo.’ Umugabo ntagomba kwemerera umutima we kwifuza umugore utari uwe. Mu by’ukuri agomba kwirinda kugirana imibonano mpuzabitsina n’undi mugore. Bibiliya itanga umuburo ugira uti “usambana n’umugore nta mutima afite, ugenza atyo aba arimbuye ubugingo bwe.” Umugore na we aba yitezweho gukurikiza iryo hame ry’ubudahemuka ryo mu rwego rwo hejuru.—Imigani 5:18; 6:32.

Mbese kuba indahemuka mu ishyingiranwa bifite akamaro? Yego rwose. Bituma ishyingiranwa rikomera kandi rikaramba, kandi buri wese mu bashakanye abiboneramo inyungu. Urugero, iyo umugabo yiyemeje kwita ku mibereho myiza y’umugore we mu budahemuka, umugore yumva afite umutekano bigatuma afata neza umugabo we uko ashoboye kose. No ku mugabo ni uko bimeze. Iyo yiyemeje kubera umugore we indahemuka, bimufasha kugendera ku mahame akiranuka mu bice byose bigize imibereho ye adakebakeba.

Iyo umugabo n’umugore bageze mu bihe bigoye, ubudahemuka butuma bombi bumva bafite umutekano. Ku rundi ruhande, iyo ubudahemuka bubuze mu ishyingiranwa, akenshi abashakanye bashakira umuti w’ibibazo byabo mu kwahukana cyangwa gutana. Iyo bigeze kuri iyo ntera, buri gihe aho kugira ngo ibibazo bikemuke, havuka ibindi. Mu myaka ya za 80, umugabo wari umujyanama mu by’imideri uzwi cyane yataye umugore we n’abana be. None se kuba yaragiye kuba wenyine byatumye agira ibyishimo? Hashize imyaka makumyabiri nyuma y’aho, yiyemereye ko guta umuryango we byatumye ‘agira irungu kandi arahungabana, akajya arara akanuye akumva ashaka kwifuriza abana be ijoro ryiza.’

Ubudahemuka hagati y’ababyeyi n’abana

Iyo ababyeyi bagaragarizanya ubudahemuka, haba hari amahirwe menshi y’uko abana babo na bo bazagaragaza uwo muco. Abana barerewe  mu muryango urangwa n’ubudahemuka n’urukundo, iyo bamaze kuba bakuru biraborohera kugaragariza ubudahemuka abo bashakanye ndetse n’ababyeyi babo mu gihe bageze mu za bukuru.—1 Timoteyo 5:4, 8.

Birumvikana ariko ko ababyeyi atari bo buri gihe bamugara mbere y’abana. Hari igihe umwana akenera kwitabwaho mu budahemuka. Ibyo byabaye kuri Herbert n’umugore we Gertrud, bombi bakaba bamaze imyaka isaga 40 ari Abahamya ba Yehova. Umuhungu wabo witwa Dietmar yamaze ubuzima bwe bwose arwaye indwara yo kunyunyuka imitsi. Mu gihe cy’imyaka irindwi ya nyuma y’ubuzima bwe, mbere y’uko Dietmar apfa mu Gushyingo 2002, yakeneraga kwitabwaho buri mwanya. Ababyeyi be bitaga ku byo yabaga akeneye mu buryo bwuje urukundo. Ndetse bari barashatse ibikoresho byo kwa muganga babizana imuhira kandi bakurikirana amasomo y’ubutabazi bw’ibanze. Mbega urugero rwiza rwo kuba indahemuka mu muryango!

Ubudahemuka ni ngombwa kugira ngo abantu bagirane ubucuti

Umukobwa witwa Birgit yagize ati “umuntu ashobora kugira ibyishimo adafite umugabo cyangwa umugore, ariko biragoye kugira ibyishimo udafite incuti.” Wenda nawe ni uko ubibona. Waba warashatse cyangwa uri umuseribateri, iyo incuti nziza ikubereye indahemuka wumva umutima wawe ususurutse kandi ukarushaho kumererwa neza. Birumvikana ariko ko niba warashatse, incuti magara yawe ari uwo mwashakanye.

Incuti si umuntu muziranye gusa. Dushobora kuba tuziranye n’abantu benshi, wenda nk’abaturanyi, abo dukorana n’abo tujya duhura rimwe na rimwe. Incuti nyancuti zisabwa gutanga igihe, imbaraga, zikagira n’icyo zitanga mu buryo bw’ibyiyumvo. Kuba incuti y’umuntu bituma umuntu agira ibyishimo. Ubucuti buhesha inyungu ariko nanone bukubiyemo no kugira inshingano dusohoza.

Ni ngombwa ko tugirana imishyikirano myiza n’incuti zacu. Rimwe na rimwe imishyikirano nk’iyo ishobora kubaho ari uko havutse ikibazo. Birgit agira ati “iyo umwe muri twe agize ikibazo, ndamuterefona cyangwa akanterefona rimwe cyangwa kabiri mu cyumweru. Kumenya ko ahari kandi ko yiteguye kuntega amatwi birampumuriza.” Kuba abantu bategeranye ntibyagombye kubabuza kuba incuti. Hagati y’aho Gerda atuye n’aho Helga aba hari ibirometero byinshi, ariko bamaze imyaka isaga 35 ari incuti magara. Gerda agira ati “buri gihe twandikirana tubwirana ibyatubayeho kandi tukagaragarizanya ibyiyumvo byimbitse byaba bishimishije cyangwa bibabaje. Akabaruwa gaturutse kuri Helga karanezeza rwose. Mbese, turi bamwe!”

Ubudahemuka ni ngombwa kugira ngo abantu bagirane ubucuti. Ubuhemu bushobora gusenya imishyikirano yari imaze igihe kirekire. Birasanzwe ko incuti zigirana inama ndetse no ku bintu by’amabanga. Incuti zibwirana ibiri ku mutima zidatinya gusuzugurwa cyangwa ko amabanga yazo yazatarangwa. Bibiliya igira iti “incuti zikundana ibihe byose, kandi umuvandimwe avukira gukūra abandi mu makuba.”—Imigani 17:17.

Kubera ko incuti zacu zigira ingaruka ku bitekerezo, ibyiyumvo n’ibikorwa byacu, ni iby’ingenzi ko tugirana ubucuti n’abantu tugendera mu nzira imwe y’ubuzima. Urugero, ugomba kwitonda ukagirana ubucuti n’abantu muhuje imyizerere kandi mubona kimwe amahame mbwirizamuco n’amahame agenga ikibi n’icyiza. Incuti nk’izo zizagufasha kugera ku ntego zawe. Ubundi se, kuki wakwifuza kugirana ubucuti n’umuntu mutagendera ku mahame mbwirizamuco amwe? Bibiliya igaragaza akamaro ko guhitamo incuti nziza igira iti “ugendana n’abanyabwenge azaba umunyabwenge na we, ariko mugenzi w’abapfu azabihanirwa.”—Imigani 13:20.

Umuntu ashobora kwitoza kuba indahemuka

Iyo umwana amaze kumenyera umukino wo komeka ibishokoro ku mwambaro wa mugenzi we, yumva yawukina buri gihe. Ni na ko umuntu w’indahemuka amera. Kubera iki? Ni ukubera ko  uko tugenda tugaragaza umuco w’ubudahemuka, ari na ko kuwugaragaza birushaho kutworohera. Iyo umuntu yitoje kuba indahemuka mu muryango akiri muto, kugirana n’abandi ubucuti bushingiye ku budahemuka amaze kuba mukuru birushaho kumworohera. Igihe kiragera iyo mishyikirano ikomeye kandi irambye ikaba ishobora kuzatuma na we aba indahemuka mu ishyingiranwa. Nanone ibyo bizamufasha kuba indahemuka mu mishyikirano ya gicuti y’ingenzi kuruta indi yose.

Yesu Kristo yavuze ko itegeko riruta andi yose ari ugukundisha Yehova Imana umutima wacu wose, n’ubugingo bwacu bwose, n’ubwenge bwacu bwose n’imbaraga zacu zose (Mariko 12:30). Ibyo bisobanura ko tugomba kuba indahemuka ku Mana mu buryo bwuzuye. Kuba indahemuka kuri Yehova Imana bihesha ingororano nyinshi. Ntazigera na rimwe adutenguha kuko we ubwe yivugiye ati “ndi indahemuka” (Yeremiya 3:12, NW ). Kandi koko, kuba indahemuka ku Mana bihesha ingororano z’iteka.—1 Yohana 2:17.

[Amagambo yatsindagirijwe yo ku ipaji ya 6]

Ubudahemuka bw’incuti nyancuti bugususurutsa umutima

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 5]

Abagize umuryango b’indahemuka bita ku byo bagenzi babo bakeneye