Inama ziringirwa ku birebana no kurera abana

RUTH yavuze uko byamugendekeye igihe yatwitaga inda ya mbere, ati “nari mfite imyaka 19, bene wacu bose bari batuye kure kandi sinari niteguye na busa.” Kubera ko na we ubwe yari akiri umwana, ntiyari yarigeze atekereza cyane ku byo kuba umubyeyi. None se inama ziringirwa yari kuzishakira he?

Ku rundi ruhande, Jan ubu ufite abana babiri bakuru agira ati “mu mizo ya mbere nari mfite icyizere rwose. Ariko bidatinze naje kubona ko burya nta kintu nari nzi ku birebana no kurera abana.” None se niba ababyeyi bananirwa kurera abana rugikubita cyangwa bikabananira bageze hagati, inama zabafasha kurera abana bazivana he?

Muri iki gihe ababyeyi benshi bashakira inama kuri interineti. Ariko kandi, ushobora kwibaza urugero umuntu yakwiringiramo izo nama. Ubwo rero ni iby’ingenzi ko tugira amakenga. Ese umuntu uguha inama ku muyoboro runaka wo kuri interineti uramuzi koko? Ese abaguha inama bo, ni mu rugero rungana iki baba barashoboye kurera abana babo neza? Birumvikana ko mu gihe hari ibintu runaka byagira ingaruka ku muryango wawe ugomba kubyitondera. Nk’uko twabibonye mu ngingo ibanziriza iyi, hari igihe inama zitangwa n’impuguke na zo ubwazo zigera aho zigatuma umuntu amanjirwa. None se ni hehe twashakira inama?

Yehova Imana, Uwo imiryango yose ikomokaho, ni we Soko ihebuje twashakiraho inama zadufasha kurera abana (Abefeso 3:15). Ni we mpuguke nyayo wenyine. Mu Ijambo rye Bibiliya, harimo inyigisho ziringirwa kandi z’ingirakamaro zituma umuntu agira icyo ageraho mu kurera abana (Zaburi 32:8; Yesaya 48:17, 18). Bityo rero, ni ahacu ho kuzishyira mu bikorwa.

Hari abagabo benshi n’abagore babo basabwe gusobanura icyabafashije kurera abana bagakura bafite ibitekerezo bizima kandi bakaba abagabo n’abagore batinya Imana. Bavuze ko icyabafashije kugira icyo bageraho ahanini ari ugushyira mu bikorwa amahame yo muri Bibiliya. Babonye ko inama zo muri Bibiliya ari izo kwiringirwa muri iki gihe nk’uko byari bimeze igihe Bibiliya yandikwaga.

Mujye mumarana igihe n’abana banyu

Igihe umubyeyi witwa Catherine ufite abana babiri yabazwaga inama yamufashije kurusha izindi mu kurera abana, yahise avuga inama iri mu Gutegeka kwa Kabiri 6:7. Uwo murongo ugira uti ‘ujye ugira umwete wo kwigisha [amahame yo muri Bibiliya] abana bawe, ujye uyavuga wicaye mu nzu yawe, n’uko ugenda mu nzira n’uko uryamye n’uko ubyutse.’ Catherine yabonye ko kugira ngo iyo nama ayishyire mu bikorwa, yagombaga kumarana igihe n’abana be.

Ushobora kuba utekereza uti ‘ibyo biroroshye kubivuga kurusha kubikora.’ None se mu miryango myinshi aho ababyeyi bombi baba bagomba gushaka ibitunga umuryango, ni gute ababyeyi bahora bahuze bakongera igihe bamarana n’abana babo? Torlief, ufite umuhungu na we ubu ufite abana, yavuze ko icyabibafashagamo ari ugukurikiza inama iri mu Gutegeka kwa Kabiri. Jya ujyana n’abana bawe aho ugiye hose, bityo kuganira na bo bizajya byizana. Torlief agira ati “najyaga nkorana n’umuhungu wanjye uturimo two mu rugo. Twaratemberanaga twese mu rwego rw’umuryango kandi tugasangirira hamwe amafunguro.” Yavuze inyungu byagize agira ati “buri gihe umuhungu wacu yumvaga ko ashobora kuvuga icyo atekereza nta cyo yishisha.”

Ariko se hakorwa iki niba mudashyikirana neza ndetse no kuganira bikagorana? Ibyo bibaho rimwe na rimwe uko abana bagenda baba bakuru. Icyo gihe na bwo, kongera igihe mumarana na bo bishobora kubafasha. Ken, umugabo wa Catherine, yibuka ko umukobwa wabo amaze kuba  umwangavu yitotombaga avuga ko se atitaga ku byo amubwira. Abangavu n’ingimbi bakunda kwinubira ko ababyeyi babo batabumva. Ken yagombaga gukora iki? Yaravuze ati “niyemeje kongera igihe namaranaga na we tuganira amaso ku maso, akambwira ibyo atekereza, ibyiyumvo bye ndetse n’ibimubabaza. Ibyo byaramfashije rwose” (Imigani 20:5). Icyakora Ken atekereza ko impamvu ubwo buryo bwo gushyikirana n’umukobwa we bwagize icyo bugeraho, ari uko mu rugo bari basanzwe bakunda kuganira. Yaravuze ati “buri gihe jye n’umukobwa wanjye twashyikiranaga neza, bityo akumva ko yashoboraga kugira icyo ambwira nta cyo yishisha.”

Ikintu gitangaje ni uko mu iperereza riherutse gukorwa, abangavu n’ingimbi bashubije ko ababyeyi batamarana igihe gihagije n’abana babo bari bakubye incuro eshatu ababyeyi bashubije nka bo. None se kuki ababyeyi batakurikiza inama zo muri Bibiliya? Mujye mumarana n’abana igihe kirekire gishoboka; mu gihe cyo kwidagadura, mu mirimo, mu rugo, mu ngendo, mu gitondo mubyutse na nimugoroba mbere yo kujya kuryama. Niba bishoboka, mujye mujyana na bo aho mugiye hose. Nk’uko mu Gutegeka 6:7 habivuga, nta cyaruta kumarana igihe n’abana banyu.

Mwigishe abana banyu amahame aboneye

Mario, ufite abana babiri, na we atanga inama igira iti “mukunde abana urukundo rwinshi kandi mujye mubasomera ibitabo.” Ariko kubasomera si ukugira ngo bongere ubushobozi bwabo bwo gutekereza gusa. Mugomba kubigisha uko bamenya gutandukanya icyiza n’ikibi. Mario yongeyeho ati “mujye mubigisha Bibiliya.”

Kubera iyo mpamvu, Bibiliya igira ababyeyi inama igira iti “ntimukarakaze abana banyu ahubwo mubarere mu buryo burangwa n’ubwuzu, mubatoza inyigisho n’inama z’ukuri za gikristo” (Abefeso 6:4, Weymouth). Mu miryango myinshi, kwigisha abana ibirebana n’amahame mbwirizamuco ntibihabwa agaciro muri iki gihe. Hari abumva ko iyo abana bamaze gukura baba bashobora kwihitiramo amahame abagenga. Ese wowe urumva ibyo bikwiriye? Nk’uko umubiri w’umwana ukenera indyo yuzuye kugira ngo akure kandi agire imbaraga n’amagara mazima, ni ko ubwenge n’imitima yabo bikenera kwigishwa. Niba mu rugo udatoza abana bawe amahame mbwirizamuco, bashobora kuzagendera ku bitekerezo by’abanyeshuri bagenzi babo, abarimu babo cyangwa ibyo mu itangazamakuru.

Bibiliya ishobora gufasha ababyeyi bakigisha abana babo uko bamenya gutandukanya icyiza n’ikibi (2 Timoteyo 3:16, 17). Jeff, umusaza w’Umukristo w’inararibonye akaba yarareze abana babiri, yateye ababyeyi inkunga yo gukoresha Bibiliya bigisha abana babo amahame aboneye. Yaravuze ati “gukoresha Bibiliya bifasha abana kubona uko Umuremyi abona ibintu runaka, atari uko gusa ababyeyi babibona. Icyo twiboneye ni uko Bibiliya igira ibintu bitangaje ihindura ku mitekerereze no ku mutima. Kugira ngo dukosore imyifatire mibi cyangwa ibitekerezo bibi, twafataga igihe tugashaka umurongo w’Ibyanditswe ukwiriye, hanyuma tukareka umwana agasoma uwo murongo yiherereye. Incuro nyinshi, iyo umwana yamaraga kuwusoma amarira yamuzengaga mu maso ndetse akaba yaturika akarira. Byaradutangazaga. Bibiliya yagiraga akamaro cyane kuruta ikindi kintu icyo ari cyo cyose twashoboraga kuvuga cyangwa gukora.”

Mu Baheburayo 4:12, habisobanura hagira hati “ijambo ry’Imana ni rizima, rifite imbaraga . . . kandi rikabangukira kugenzura ibyo umutima wibwira ukagambirira.” Bityo rero, ubutumwa buboneka muri Bibiliya si ibitekerezo bwite by’abantu Imana yakoresheje mu kuyandika cyangwa se ibyo babonye mu buzima. Ahubwo bugaragaza uko Imana ibona ibirebana n’imyifatire. Ibyo bituma inama zo muri Bibiliya zitandukana n’izindi izo ari zo zose. Iyo ukoresheje Bibiliya wigisha abana bawe, uba ubafasha kubona ibintu nk’uko Imana ibibona. Iyo myitozo irushaho kugira agaciro kandi ukagira amahirwe menshi yo kugera umwana wawe ku mutima.

Catherine twavuze mbere na we ni uko abibona. Agira ati “uko ikibazo cyabaga gikomeye ni ko twashakiraga ubuyobozi mu Ijambo ry’Imana kandi twagiraga icyo tugeraho!” Mbese ushobora kujya urushaho gukoresha Bibiliya mu gihe wigisha abana bawe uko bamenya gutandukanya icyiza n’ikibi?

Ba umuntu ushyira mu gaciro

Intumwa Pawulo yavuze irindi hame ry’ingenzi rifite akamaro mu kurera abana. Yateye Abakristo bagenzi be inkunga igira iti “gushyira mu gaciro kwanyu kumenywe n’abantu bose” (Abafilipi 4:5, NW). Ibyo bikubiyemo kwereka abana bacu ko  dushyira mu gaciro. Kandi wibuke ko gushyira mu gaciro bigaragaza “ubwenge buva mu ijuru.”—Yakobo 3:17.

Ariko se ni uruhe ruhare gushyira mu gaciro bigira mu birebana no gutoza abana bacu? Nubwo tubafasha uko dushoboye kose, ntitugenzura buri kantu kose bakoze. Urugero, Mario wavuzwe mbere ni Umuhamya wa Yehova; yaravuze ati “buri gihe twateraga abana bacu inkunga yo kubatizwa, gukora umurimo w’igihe cyose no kwishyiriraho intego zirebana n’umurimo w’Imana. Ariko twabasobanuriraga neza ko bari kuzifatira imyanzuro mu gihe gikwiriye.” Ibyo byagize akahe kamaro? Ubu abana babo bombi ni ababwirizabutumwa b’igihe cyose.

Mu Bakolosayi 3:21, Bibiliya itanga umuburo ugira uti “ba se, ntimukarakaze abana banyu batazinukwa.” Catherine yabonye ko uwo murongo ari ingirakamaro cyane. Iyo umubyeyi ananiwe kwihangana, ashobora kurakara vuba cyangwa akaba umuntu utanyurwa. Yaravuze ati “ntimugasabe abana banyu gukora ibintu ngo nuko mwe mubishoboye.” Catherine, na we ni Umuhamya wa Yehova kandi yongeyeho ati “mujye mureka umwana akorere Yehova yishimye.”

Jeff wavuzwe mbere yatanze igitekerezo cy’ingirakamaro kigira kiti “uko abana bacu bagendaga bakura, hari umugabo w’incuti yacu watubwiye ko yaje gusanga ko incuro nyinshi yakundaga kwima abana be ibyo bamusabaga. Ibyo byabateraga umujinya bigatuma bumva ko ari ukubakandamiza. Yatubwiye ko kugira ngo tubyirinde tugomba kujya tureba uko twabemerera ibyo badusabye.

Jeff agira ati “iyo nama twabonye ari nziza, hanyuma dushakisha uburyo abana bacu bajya bakorana ibintu n’abandi bana ariko tubanje gusuzuma niba bikwiriye. Bityo, twarabegeraga tukababwira tuti ‘mwari muzi ko kwa naka bari bukore ibi n’ibi? Kuki mwe mutajyayo?’ Nanone iyo abana badusabaga ko twabajyana ahantu runaka, twakoraga uko dushoboye tukajyayo n’iyo twabaga tunaniwe. Ibyo twabikoraga kugira ngo tutavaho tubahakanira.” Dore icyo gushyira mu gaciro bisobanura: kutagira aho ubogamira, kwita ku bandi, no kwemera ibyo abandi bagusaba ariko ukirinda gutandukira amahame yo muri Bibiliya.

Ungukirwa no gushyira mu bikorwa inama ziringirwa

Abo bagabo n’abagore babo ubu hafi ya bose barujukuruje. Bishimira ko amahame yo muri Bibiliya yabafashije kurera abana babo agafasha n’abo babyaye kuba ababyeyi barera neza. Ese ushobora kungukirwa n’inama zo muri Bibiliya?

Ruth twavuze tugitangira amaze kubyara, rimwe na rimwe we n’umugabo we bumvaga nta hantu bafite bavana ubuyobozi. Ariko mu by’ukuri bari bahafite. Bari bafite ahantu bavana inama ziruta izindi, ni ukuvuga mu Ijambo ry’Imana ari ryo Bibiliya. Abahamya ba Yehova banditse ibitabo byinshi kandi byiza cyane by’imfashanyigisho za Bibiliya bishobora gufasha ababyeyi. Muri ibyo bitabo harimo: Reka Umwigisha Ukomeye akwigishe, Igitabo cy’Amateka ya Bibiliya, Les jeunes s’interrogent — Réponses pratiques, n’ikindi gifite umutwe uvuga ngo Umuntu Ukomeye Kuruta Abandi Bose mu Bihe Byose. Torlief, umugabo wa Ruth, yaravuze ati “muri iki gihe, inama zishingiye kuri Bibiliya zafasha ababyeyi zirahari rwose kandi ni nyinshi. Bazazikoreshe gusa, maze bibonere ukuntu zizabafasha kurera abana babo bagakura neza mu buryo bwose.”

 [Agasanduku/​Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 5]

Ibyo Impuguke zivuga . . . ibyo Bibiliya ivuga

ku birebana no kugaragariza abana urukundo:

Mu gitabo Dr John Broadus Watson yanditse, agira ababyeyi inama igira iti “ntuzigere uhobera cyangwa ngo usome” abana bawe. “Ntuzigere ubicaza ku bibero byawe.” (The Psychological Care of Infant and Child, 1928.) Vuba aha ariko, Drs. Vera Lane na Dorothy Molyneaux, banditse mu kinyamakuru bagira bati “ubushakashatsi bwakozwe bwagaragaje ko iyo [ababyeyi] badakuyakuya abana bakiri bato babagaragariza urukundo rwa kibyeyi, incuro nyinshi [abo bana] ntibakura neza.”—Our Children, March 1999.

Ibyo bitandukanye n’ibivugwa muri Yesaya 66:12, herekeza kuri Yehova havuga ko agaragariza urukundo rwa kibyeyi abagize ubwoko bwe. Mu buryo nk’ubwo, igihe abigishwa ba Yesu bageragezaga kubuza abantu kuzanira Yesu abana bato, yarabacyashye arababwira ati “mureke abana bato bansange, ntimubabuze.” Hanyuma ‘yarabakikiye, abaha umugisha abarambitseho ibiganza.’—Mariko 10:14, 16.

ku birebana no kubigisha amahame aboneye:

Mu ngingo yasohotse mu kinyamakuru mu mwaka wa 1969, Dr. Bruno Bettelheim yashimangiye ko umwana afite “uburenganzira bwo kugira ibitekerezo runaka akurikije uko abona ibintu, atabyinjijwemo n’[ababyeyi be bamubwiriza] bamuhata, ahubwo bigomba kuba bishingiye gusa ku byo ahura na byo mu buzima” (New York Times Magazine). Ariko hashize imyaka igera hafi kuri 30 nyuma yaho, Dr. Robert Coles yanditse mu gitabo cye ko “abana bakenera cyane umuntu ubashyiriraho intego kandi akabayobora mu mibereho yabo, akabashyiriraho amahame bagenderaho” yemewe n’ababyeyi babo cyangwa abandi bantu bakuru.—The Moral Intelligence of Children (1997).

Mu Migani 22:6 hatera ababyeyi inkunga igira iti “menyereza umwana inzira akwiriye kunyuramo, azarinda asaza atarayivamo.” Ijambo ry’Igiheburayo ryahinduwemo “kumenyereza” nanone risobanura “gutoza” kandi muri uyu murongo byumvikanisha gutoza umwana umwigisha kuva akiri muto cyane. Bityo, ababyeyi baterwa inkunga yo gutangira kwigisha abana babo amahame aboneye kuva bakiri bato (2 Timoteyo 3:14, 15). Ibyo abana biga bari muri icyo kigero cyo gutozwa, bishobora kuguma mu bwenge bwabo.

ku birebana n’igihano:

Dr. James Dobson yanditse mu gitabo cye ati “iyo umubyeyi akunda umwana amuhana amucishaho akanyafu kugira ngo acike ku ngeso mbi” (Strong-Willed Child, 1978). Ku rundi ruhande, mu ngingo Dr. Benjamin Spock yanditse ku byo yakuye mu gitabo kizwi cyane kivuga ibyo kurera abana (Baby and Child Care, 1998), icapwa ryacyo rya karindwi, yaravuze ati “gukubita abana bibumvisha ko umuntu mukuru kandi ufite imbaraga afite uburenganzira bwo kubakoresha ibyo ashaka, yaba ari mu kuri cyangwa atari mu kuri.”

Ku bihereranye no guhana, Bibiliya igira iti “umunyafu no gucyaha byigisha ubwenge” (Imigani 29:15). Ariko kandi, umunyafu si ngombwa kuri buri mwana. Mu Migani 17:10, hagira hati “gucyahwa kugera umunyabwenge ku mutima, kuruta guhanisha umupfapfa inkoni ijana.”

[Ifoto]

Koresha Bibiliya kugira ngo umugere ku mutima

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 7]

Ababyeyi b’abanyabwenge baha abana babo uburyo bwo kwidagadura