Igihe ibyo wari witeze bidashobotse

KUMANJIRWA bishobora kuba mu ishyingiranwa iryo ari ryo ryose, nubwo mu gihe cyo kurambagizanya umusore n’umukobwa baba barasaga n’aho bakwiranye. Ariko se ni gute abantu babiri basaga n’aho bakwiranye mbere y’uko basezerana ko bazabana, bigera nyuma ugasanga batandukanye cyane?

Bibiliya ivuga ko abashyingiranwa bazagira “imibabaro n’agahinda” (1 Abakorinto 7:28, The New English Bible). Incuro nyinshi, imwe muri iyo mibabaro iterwa n’uko abantu badatunganye (Abaroma 3:23). Nanone, umwe mu bashakanye cyangwa se bombi, ashobora kunanirwa gushyira mu bikorwa amahame ya Bibiliya (Yesaya 48:17, 18). Icyakora, hari igihe umugabo cyangwa umugore ashyingirwa yiteze kuri mugenzi we ibintu bidashoboka. Iyo bimeze bityo rero, kutumvikana bishobora gutuma havuka ibibazo bikomeye.

Kwitega ibintu bidashoboka

Niba uri umugabo cyangwa umugore, birashoboka ko wagiye gushyingirwa ufite ibintu runaka witeze kuri mugenzi wawe; kandi kuri benshi ni ko biba bimeze. Fata akanya utekereze ku buzima wari wizeye kugira. Ese ishyingiranwa ryawe ryananiwe kuzuza ibyo wari witeze? Niba ari uko bimeze, ntufate umwanzuro w’uko ibyo bibazo bidashobora gukemuka. Gushyira mu bikorwa amahame ya Bibiliya bishobora kugufasha gutunganya ibintu * (2 Timoteyo 3:16). Hagati aho, byaba byiza wongeye gusuzuma bimwe mu bintu ushobora kuba wari witeze mu ishyingiranwa.

Urugero, hari abatekerezaga ko ishyingiranwa ryari kurangwa n’ibikorwa by’urukundo gusa nka rumwe rwo mu nkuru z’impimbano. Cyangwa wenda ushobora kuba waratekerezaga ko wowe n’uwo mwashakanye mwari kujya mumara igihe hafi ya cyose muri kumwe, cyangwa se ko mwembi mwari kujya mukemura buri kibazo mutavugaho rumwe mutuje, mu buryo bukwiriye abantu bakuze. Abenshi bibwiraga ko ishyingiranwa ryari gutuma bitongera kuba ngombwa ko birinda mu birebana n’irari ry’ibitsina. Kubera ko ibyo byose abantu muri rusange baba biteze ari ibintu urebye bidashoboka, birumvikana ko hari abo bitera kumanjirwa.—Itangiriro 3:16.

Ikindi kintu kidashoboka abantu bajya bitega, ni ugutekereza ko ishyingiranwa ubwaryo rizatuma umuntu agira ibyishimo. Ni koko, kugira umuntu mufatanya ubuzima bishobora kuba isoko y’ibyishimo byinshi (Imigani 18:22; 31:10; Umubwiriza 4:9). Ariko se kuba abantu barashyingiranywe ni byo bishobora gukemura mu buryo bw’igitangaza ibibazo byose bagirana? Akenshi abatekereza batyo baratungurwa!

Ibintu umuntu aba yiteze ariko ntabivuge

Ibintu abantu baba biteze si ko byose biba bidashoboka. Ahubwo, hari ibyifuzo biba bifite ishingiro. Icyakora, ibibazo bishobora kuvuka  bitewe n’ibintu bimwe na bimwe abantu baba biteze. Hari umujyanama mu by’ishyingiranwa wagize ati “njya mbona abashakanye barakaranya kubera ko umwe muri bo afite ikintu yifuza ko mugenzi we amukorera, kandi atarigeze amubwira neza mbere hose ko icyo kintu agikeneye.” Kugira ngo dusobanukirwe neza uko ibyo bishobora kubaho, reka dusuzume inkuru ikurikira.

Mariya yashakanye na Karoli utuye mu birometero amagana uturutse iwabo. Mbere y’uko bashyingiranwa, Mariya yumvaga ko kwimukira mu kandi karere byari kumugora, cyane cyane ko ari umuntu udashabutse. Icyakora, yari yiringiye ko Karoli yari kumufasha kuhamenyera. Wenda Mariya yari yiteze ko Karoli yari kujya amuba hafi akamufasha kumenyerana n’incuti ze. Nyamara, si uko byagenze. Karoli yahugiraga mu kwiganirira n’incuti ze nyinshi agasiga Mariya wenyine, kandi ari bwo Mariya akigera muri ako gace. Mariya yumvaga atitaweho, ndetse rwose akumva ko mu rugero runaka Karoli yamutereranye. Yaribazaga ati ‘bishoboka bite ko Karoli nta cyo yitaho koko?’

Ubwo se Mariya yari yiteze ibintu bidashoboka? Oya rwose. Yifuzaga gusa ko umugabo we amufasha kumenyera aho hantu hashya yari ageze. Mariya ntiyari ashabutse, kandi yumvaga guhura n’abantu benshi atamenyereye bimubangamiye. Ariko kandi, birumvikana ko atigeze ahishurira Karoli uko yumvaga ameze. Bityo rero, Karoli ntiyari azi ikibazo Mariya yari ahanganye na cyo. Iyo iyo mimerere ikomeza byari kugenda bite? Mariya yari gukomeza kugira umujinya kandi uko igihe kigenda gihita, yashoboraga gutekereza ko umugabo we atamwitaho.

Wenda nawe iyo uwo mwashakanye atitaye ku byo ukeneye, wumva umanjiriwe kandi ukababara. None se ni iki wakora biramutse bimeze bityo?

 Bivuge weruye

Mu by’ukuri, iyo ibyo umuntu yari yiteze bidashobotse, biramubabaza cyane (Imigani 13:12). Ariko kandi, hari icyo wabikoraho. Hari umugani wo muri Bibiliya ugira uti “niba uri umunyabwenge kandi ukagira amakenga mu byo uvuga, ushobora kwemeza abandi” (Imigani 16:23, Contemporary English Version). Ku bw’ibyo rero, niba wari witeze ikintu gishyize mu gaciro ntigishoboke, biganireho n’uwo mwashakanye.

Gerageza gushaka igihe gikwiriye, imimerere ikwiriye n’amagambo akwiriye kugira ngo uvuge ibiguhangayikishije (Imigani 25:11). Vugana ubwitonzi n’icyubahiro. Zirikana intego ufite: ntushaka kurega uwo mwashakanye, ahubwo urashaka kumumenyesha ibyo umwitezeho n’uko wumva umeze.—Imigani 15:1.

Kuki wagombye kubikora byanze bikunze? None se niba uwo mwashakanye akwitaho, ntiyagombye kwiyumvisha ibyo ukeneye? Uwo mwashakanye ashobora kuba abona ibintu mu buryo butandukanye n’ubwawe, ariko akaba yiteguye kwita ku byo ukeneye uramutse ubimusobanuriye. Gusobanura ibyo ushaka cyangwa ibyo wifuza, si ikimenyetso cy’uko mwagize ishyingiranwa ribi, nta n’ubwo bigaragaza ko uwo mwashakanye nta cyo yitaho.

Bityo rero, ntukabure kuganira n’uwo mwashakanye ku bibazo bihari. Urugero, muri ya nkuru twigeze kuvuga, Mariya yashoboraga kubwira Karoli ati “ndabona guhura n’abantu benshi bashya kuri jye bisa n’ibingoye. Ese ntiwamfasha kugenda  mbamenyera, kugeza ubwo nzumva nisanga?”

‘Wihutire kumva’

Reka dusuzume icyo kibazo mu bundi buryo. Tuvuge ko uwo mwashakanye akwegereye ahangayikishijwe n’uko udasohoza ibintu bishyize mu gaciro yari akwitezeho. Niba ibyo bibaye, tega amatwi uwo mwashakanye! Ntushake kwiregura. Ahubwo, ‘wihutire kumva ariko utinde kuvuga, kandi utinde kurakara’ (Yakobo 1:19; Imigani 18:13). Intumwa Pawulo yateye Abakristo inkunga agira ati “ntihakagire umuntu wizirikana ubwe, ahubwo azirikane na mugenzi we.”—1 Abakorinto 10:24.

Ibyo wabikora wishyira mu mwanya w’uwo mwashakanye. Bibiliya igira iti “namwe bagabo ni uko: mubane n’abagore banyu, mwerekane ubwenge.” Mu buhinduzi bwa J. B. Phillips ho hagira hati “bagabo mwagombye kwihatira kumva abagore mubana” (1 Petero 3:7). Birumvikana ko byaba byiza n’abagore bihatiye kubigenzereza batyo abagabo babo.

Zirikana ko uko wowe n’uwo mwashakanye mwaba mukwiranye kose, mudashobora kubona ibintu byose kimwe. (Reba agasanduku gafite umutwe uvuga ngo “Barareba ahantu hamwe, bakahabona mu buryo butandukanye.”) Mu by’ukuri, uwo ni umugisha kubera ko biba byiza iyo umuntu asuzumye ibibazo ahereye ku buryo undi abona ibintu. Wowe n’uwo mwashakanye, buri wese yashyingiranywe n’undi afite ibintu byihariye amwitezeho, bishingiye wenda ku muryango n’umuco yakuriyemo. Kubera iyo mpamvu, mushobora kuba mukundana cyane ariko mukaba mutiteze ibintu bimwe.

Urugero, umugabo n’umugore b’Abakristo bashakanye bashobora kuba bazi neza ihame rya Bibiliya rihereranye n’ubutware (Abefeso 5:22, 23). Ariko se, by’umwihariko, ni gute ubutware buzakoreshwa mu muryango wanyu, kandi se ni gute umuco wo kuganduka uzagaragazwa? Ese mwembi muyoborwa n’iryo hame ryo muri Bibiliya kandi mugakora uko mushoboye kose ngo murikurikize?

Mushobora no kuba mufite ibitekerezo bitandukanye ku birebana n’ibindi bibazo byo mu buzima bwa buri munsi. Ni nde uzita ku mirimo runaka yo mu rugo? Ni ryari muzamarana igihe na bene wanyu, kandi se kizaba kingana gite? Ni gute umugabo n’umugore b’Abakristo bashakanye bagaragaza ko bashyira inyungu z’Ubwami mu mwanya wa mbere mu buzima bwabo (Matayo 6:33)? Ku birebana n’amafaranga, gufata umwenda biroroha. Bityo rero, ni byiza kudasesagura no kumenya uburyo bwo kuzigama amafaranga. Ariko se mu by’ukuri, kudasesagura no kumenya uburyo bwo kuzigama amafaranga bisobanura iki? Ibibazo nk’ibyo ni ngombwa kubiganiraho mweruye kandi mwubahana, kuko bizabagirira akamaro cyane.

Ibyo biganiro bishobora kubafasha kugira amahoro menshi mu ishyingiranwa ryanyu, nubwo hari ibintu mwari mwiteze bitashobotse. Mu by’ukuri, bizaba byiza kurushaho nimukurikiza inama intumwa Pawulo yatanze agira ati ‘mwihanganirane kandi mubabarirane ibyaha, uko umuntu agize icyo apfa n’undi.’—Abakolosayi 3:13.

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

[Agasanduku/​Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 10]

BARAREBA AHANTU HAMWE, BAKAHABONA MU BURYO BUTANDUKANYE

“Tekereza imbaga ya ba mukerarugendo bareba ahantu heza cyane. Nubwo iryo tsinda ryose ry’abantu rireba ahantu hamwe, buri wese ahabona mu buryo butandukanye n’ubw’undi. Kubera iki? Kubera ko aho umwe ahagaze atari ho undi ahagaze. Nta bantu babiri bahagaze neza neza ahantu hamwe. Byongeye kandi, abantu bose si ko bitaye ku kintu kimwe. Buri muntu afite ikintu cyihariye kimushishikaje. No mu ishyingiranwa rero ni uko bimeze. Yemwe n’igihe abashakanye baba bakwiranye mu buryo budasanzwe, bombi ntibabona ibintu kimwe neza neza. . . . Gushyikirana hakubiyemo no kwihatira guhuza ibyo mutandukaniyeho kugira ngo mube umubiri umwe. Ibyo bisaba ko mumara igihe muganira.”—Umunara w’Umurinzi wo ku itariki ya 1 Kanama 1993, ipaji ya 4 (mu Gifaransa).

[Agasanduku ko ku ipaji ya 11]

ICYO WAKORA UBU

• Ongera usuzume ibyo witeze ku wo mwashakanye. Mbese birashoboka? Mbese witeze ku wo mwashakanye ibirenze ibishyize mu gaciro?—Abafilipi 2:4; 4:5.

• Gerageza guhindura ibintu byose bidashoboka wari witeze. Urugero, aho kuvuga ngo “tuzahora twumvikana,” iyemeze ko uzihatira gukemura ibyo mutumvikanaho mu mahoro.—Abefeso 4:32.

• Muganire ku byo buri wese yiteze ku wundi. Kuganira ku bintu mweruye ni intambwe y’ingenzi ituma abantu bamenya uburyo bwo kugaragarizanya urukundo n’icyubahiro.—Abefeso 5:33.

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 9]

Jya ‘wihutira kumva’ ibihangayikishije uwo mwashakanye