1, 2. (a) Ni izihe ngorane imiryango myinshi iba ihanganye na zo, kandi se ibyo bituma havuka ibihe bibazo? (b) Ababyeyi n’abana bakwitegura bate ihinduka rijyanirana n’iza bukuru?

KUBONA ababyeyi bawe batagishobora kwiyitaho kandi barahoze bafite imbaraga, birababaza cyane. Wenda so cyangwa nyoko yaraguye avunika itako, wenda asigaye ajijwa cyane, asigaye agenda atazi iyo ajya, cyangwa se baramusuzumye bamusangana indwara ikomeye. Ku rundi ruhande, kwemera iryo hinduka bishobora kugora abageze mu za bukuru, cyane cyane iyo rituma badakomeza kwigenga (Yobu 14:1). Ni iki cyakorwa? Bakwitabwaho bate?

² Hari ingingo ivuga ibirebana no kwita ku bageze mu za bukuru yagize iti “nubwo kuganira ku bibazo birebana no gusaza bigorana, umuryango uteganya mbere y’igihe icyo uzakora uba ushobora kugira amahitamo meza mu gihe ufata imyanzuro irebana n’uko uzita ku babyeyi.” Ibiganiro nk’ibyo ni iby’ingenzi cyane kuko ibibazo bijyanirana n’iza bukuru biba bizabaho byanze bikunze. Ariko kandi, dushobora kubyitegura kandi tugafata imyanzuro mbere y’igihe. Nimucyo dusuzume uko abagize umuryango bashyira hamwe kugira ngo bafate iyo myanzuro ikomeye.

3. Ni iki abagize umuryango bashobora gukora uko ababyeyi babo bageze mu za bukuru barushaho gukenera ubufasha? (Reba ifoto ibimburira iki gice.)

³ Hari igihe kigera abenshi mu bageze mu za bukuru ntibabe  bagishobora kwiyitaho, bityo bagakenera gufashwa. (Soma mu Mubwiriza 12:1-7.) Iyo ababyeyi bageze mu za bukuru batagishoboye kwirwanaho, bo n’abana babo bakuze bagombye kugena uburyo bwiza kandi bushoboka bwo kubitaho. Akenshi biba byiza iyo abagize umuryango bahuye kugira ngo baganire ku birebana n’ubufasha ababyeyi babo bakeneye, uko babuhabwa n’uruhare rwa buri wese. Abo bireba bose, cyane cyane ababyeyi, bagombye kuvuga uko babona ibintu bisanzuye kandi bagashyira mu gaciro. Ese ababyeyi bashobora gukomeza kuba mu rugo rwabo, akaba ari ho bafashirizwa? * Nanone bashobora gusuzuma uko buri wese mu bagize umuryango yagira uruhare mu kubitaho (Imig 24:6). Urugero, hari abashobora kuboneka bakabitaho buri munsi, mu gihe abandi bo batanga ubufasha bw’amafaranga. Buri wese yagombye kumenya inshingano imureba; ariko uko igihe gihita, ishobora guhinduka cyangwa abagize umuryango bakajya basimburana mu gusohoza inshingano runaka.

4. Ni hehe abagize umuryango bashakira ubufasha?

⁴ Niba utangiye kwita ku mubyeyi wawe ugeze mu za bukuru, jya ukora uko ushoboye kose umenye imimerere arimo. Niba afite uburwayi buzagenda bwiyongera, gerageza kumenya ingaruka buzamugiraho (Imig 1:5). Vugana n’imiryango ya leta yita ku bageze mu za bukuru. Gerageza kumenya gahunda zateganyijwe mu karere kanyu zishobora kukorohereza inshingano yo kwita ku mubyeyi wawe, kandi zigatuma yitabwaho neza. Gutekereza ku bintu bizahinduka mu buzima bw’umubyeyi wawe bishobora gutuma wumva ubabaye cyane, bikagukura umutima cyangwa bikagutera urujijo. Jya ubwira incuti yawe ya bugufi uko wiyumva. Ikirenze byose, jya usuka ibikuri ku mutima imbere ya Yehova. Ashobora kuguha amahoro yo mu mutima ukeneye kugira ngo wihanganire imimerere iyo ari yo yose.—Zab 55:22; Imig 24:10; Fili 4:6, 7.

5. Kuki ari byiza kumenya mbere y’igihe uko tuzita ku mubyeyi ugeze mu za bukuru?

⁵ Bamwe mu bageze mu za bukuru bafatanya n’imiryango yabo kumenya mbere y’igihe uko bazitabwaho. Urugero, bashobora kureba niba bazajya kubana n’umwe mu bana babo, kuba mu kigo cyita ku bageze mu za bukuru, cyangwa bakareba ubundi buryo bushoboka. Kubigenza batyo bituma bitegura “ibyago n’imibabaro” bijyanirana n’imyaka y’iza bukuru (Zab 90:10). Hari imiryango myinshi idateganya uko izita ku babyeyi bageze mu za bukuru, maze ikibazo cyavuka bikaba ngombwa ko ifata imyanzuro ikomeye huti huti. Hari umuhanga wagize ati “icyo ni cyo gihe kibi kurusha ikindi cyose cyo gufata imyanzuro nk’iyo.” Uko gufata imyanzuro huti huti bishobora gutesha umutwe abagize umuryango, kandi bikaba byatuma bagirana amakimbirane. Ariko kandi, guteganya mbere y’igihe ibizakorwa bituma twemera ihinduka ryose rishobora kuba bitatugoye.—Imig 20:18.

6. Kuki iyo abagize umuryango baganiriye ku birebana n’aho ababyeyi babo bageze mu za bukuru bazaba n’uko bazabaho bibagirira akamaro?

⁶ Ushobora kumva ko kuganira n’ababyeyi bawe ku birebana n’ihinduka rishobora kuba mu rugo rwabo no kuba bakwimuka bibaye ngombwa, atari ibintu byoroshye. Ariko kandi, hari benshi bavuze ko ibiganiro nk’ibyo byabagiriye akamaro. Kubera iki? Ni ukubera ko byatumye bashobora kungurana ibitekerezo mu bwumvikane, bakagera ku myanzuro y’ibyo bari gukora. Babonye ko kuganira mbere y’igihe mu mwuka w’urukundo n’ubugwaneza byatumye gufata imyanzuro bitabagora igihe byabaga ngombwa. Nubwo abageze mu za bukuru baba bashaka gukomeza kwigenga igihe cyose bikibashobokeye,  kuganira n’abana babo ku birebana n’ukuntu bifuza kuzitabwaho mu gihe bazaba babikeneye, bigira akamaro.

7, 8. Ni ibihe bintu abagize umuryango bakwiriye kuganiraho, kandi kuki?

⁷ Babyeyi, mu gihe muganira n’abagize umuryango wanyu, mujye mubabwira ibyo mwifuza, amafaranga mufite n’amahitamo yanyu. Ibyo bizatuma babasha gufata imyanzuro ikwiriye mu gihe muzaba mutakibishoboye. Nta gushidikanya ko bazakora ibihuje n’ibyifuzo byanyu kandi bagakora ibishoboka byose kugira ngo mukomeze kwigenga (Efe 6:2-4). Urugero, ese mwifuza ko umwe mu bana banyu yazabajyana iwe mukabana, cyangwa hari ikindi mwifuza? Mujye mushyira mu gaciro, mumenye ko atari ko bose bazabona ibintu nk’uko mubibona, kandi ko guhindura imitekerereze, yaba mwe cyangwa abana banyu, bisaba igihe.

⁸ Abagize umuryango bose bagombye kumenya ko guteganya mbere y’igihe icyo bazakora no kuganira bishobora kubarinda ibibazo (Imig 15:22). Ibyo bikubiyemo kuganira ku birebana n’uko bazavurwa, n’andi mahitamo bashobora kugira. Icyo gihe bazanaganira ku ngingo zikubiye mu nyandiko itanga uburenganzira busesuye bwo guhagararirwa mu by’ubuvuzi Abahamya ba Yehova bakoresha. Buri wese afite uburenganzira bwo kumenya uko azavurwa, akabyemera cyangwa akabyanga. Amabwiriza atangwa hakiri kare ku bihereranye n’ubuvuzi aba agaragaza uko umuntu yifuza kuzavurwa. Gushyiraho umuntu uzaduhagararira mu by’ubuvuzi (aho amategeko abyemera) bishobora gutuma umuntu twiringira adufatira imyanzuro mu gihe bibaye ngombwa. Byaba byiza abo bireba bose bagize kopi z’izo nyandiko kugira ngo bazazifashishe igihe bizaba bikenewe. Bamwe bagiye bashyira izo kopi hamwe n’inyandiko z’umurage, inyandiko z’ingenzi zirebana n’ubwishingizi, iza banki, inyandiko zemewe n’amategeko, n’izindi.

9, 10. Ni ryari ababyeyi bashobora gukenera ko abana babo babafasha cyane kurushaho?

⁹ Incuro nyinshi, abagize umuryango bose bahitamo ko ababyeyi babo bageze mu za bukuru bakomeza kwigenga uko ubushobozi bwabo bubibemerera kose. Igihe cyose baba bashobora kwitekera, gukora isuku, gufata imiti no gushyikirana n’abandi, ntibiba ari ngombwa ko bakorerwa buri kantu kose. Ariko nyuma y’igihe, iyo ababyeyi babo batakibasha kugenda, wenda badashobora kujya kwihahira cyangwa bagatangira kujya bibagirwa cyane, bishobora kuba ngombwa ko abana bagira icyo bakora kugira ngo babafashe.

¹⁰ Gusaza bishobora gutuma ababyeyi batangira kujijwa, kwiheba, ntibashobore kugera mu bwiherero, ntibumve neza, ntibabone neza, kandi bakibagirwa. Iyo ibyo bibazo bitangiye, kwivuza bishobora kubafasha. Mujye mujya kwa muganga ibyo bibazo bigitangira. Abana bashobora kuba ari bo bafata iya mbere bakajyana ababyeyi babo kwa muganga. Hari n’ubwo  bishobora kuba ngombwa ko abana bakorera ababyeyi babo ibintu bimwe na bimwe batagishoboye kwikorera. Kugira ngo ababyeyi bitabweho neza uko bikwiriye, bishobora kuba ngombwa ko abana bababera abavugizi, bakaba ari bo bandika mu mwanya wabo, bakabatwara mu modoka, n’ibindi.—Imig 3:27.

11. Ni iki cyakorwa kugira ngo ababyeyi bemere ihinduka bitabagoye?

¹¹ Mu gihe ibibazo by’ababyeyi bidashobora gukemuka, bishobora kuba ngombwa ko abana bahindura uko babitagaho, cyangwa bakagira ibyo bahindura mu rugo rw’ababyeyi babo. Guhindura ibintu byoroheje bituma bashobora kumenyera iryo hinduka bitabagoye. Ese niba muba kure y’ababyeyi banyu, byaba bihagije ko Umuhamya mugenzi wanyu cyangwa umuturanyi yajya anyura iwanyu buri gihe, maze akabwira umwe muri mwe uko ababyeyi banyu bamerewe? Ese icyo bakeneye ni ukubatekera no kubakorera isuku gusa? Ese kugira ibintu bike muhindura byatuma kugenda mu nzu, gukaraba ndetse n’ibindi birushaho kuborohera? Wenda icyo abo babyeyi banyu bakeneye kugira ngo bakomeze kwigenga mu rugero runaka, ni ukugira umuntu uza kubafasha mu rugo. Icyakora, niba kuba bonyine bishobora kubateza akaga, byaba byiza babonye ubafasha mu buryo buhoraho. Uko imimerere yaba imeze kose, mugerageze kumenya ubufasha bashobora kubonera mu karere batuyemo. *—Soma mu Migani 21:5.

12, 13. Ni mu buhe buryo abana baba kure y’ababyeyi babo bagiye bakomeza kububaha no kubitaho?

¹² Abana bakunda ababyeyi babo baba bifuza ko bamererwa neza. Iyo bazi ko ababyeyi babo bitaweho, bituma bumva batuje. Ariko kandi, usanga abana benshi batuye kure y’ababyeyi babo. Mu mimerere nk’iyo, bamwe bafata ikiruhuko bakajya gusura ababyeyi babo kandi bakabafasha gukora imirimo batagishoboye kwikorera. Kubaterefona kenshi, byanashoboka buri munsi, kubandikira cyangwa kuboherereza ubutumwa kuri interineti bituma ababyeyi babo bumva ko babakunda.—Imig 23:24, 25.

¹³ Niyo mwaba muba kure y’ababyeyi banyu, mugomba kumenya ubufasha baba bakeneye buri munsi. Niba ari Abahamya, mushobora kuvugana n’abasaza bo mu itorero ryabo, mukabagisha inama. Nanone ntimukabure gushyira icyo kibazo mu isengesho. (Soma mu Migani 11:14.) Niyo ababyeyi banyu baba atari Abahamya, mugomba ‘kubaha so na nyoko’ (Kuva 20:12; Imig 23:22). Birumvikana ko imiryango yose idashobora gufata imyanzuro imwe. Hari bamwe bazana ababyeyi babo bakabana na bo cyangwa bakaba hafi yabo. Icyakora, ibyo si ko buri gihe biba bishoboka. Ababyeyi bamwe ntibaba bashaka kuba mu ngo z’abana babo; baba bashaka kwigenga kandi ntibagire uwo babera umutwaro. Bamwe bashobora kuba bifashije, bakaba bahitamo guhemba umuntu uzajya uza kubafashiriza mu rugo.—Umubw 7:12.

14. Ni ibihe bibazo uwita ku babyeyi cyane ashobora guhura na byo?

¹⁴ Mu miryango myinshi, usanga umwe mu bana utuye hafi y’ababyeyi ari we ubitaho cyane. Ariko kandi, ubitaho aba agomba gushyira mu gaciro mu birebana no kwita ku byo ababyeyi be bakeneye, n’ibyo umuryango we ukeneye. Igihe n’imbaraga bya buri wese bigira aho bigarukira. Mu gihe imimerere y’uwitaga ku babyeyi ihindutse, abagize umuryango bagombye kongera gusuzuma icyo kibazo. Ese aho ntihari umwe mu bagize umuryango uvunika cyane? Ese abandi bo ntibagira icyo bakora, wenda bakajya basimburana mu birebana no kwita ku babyeyi babo?

15. Ni iki cyafasha uwita ku babyeyi bageze mu za bukuru kugira ngo atananirwa?

 ¹⁵ Iyo ababyeyi bageze mu za bukuru bakeneye kwitabwaho buri gihe, ubitaho ashobora kunanirwa (Umubw 4:6). Abana bakunda ababyeyi babo baba bifuza gukora ibishoboka byose kugira ngo babiteho; ariko iyo bakeneye gufashwa muri buri kantu kose bishobora kubaremerera. Abari mu mimerere nk’iyo baba bagomba gushyira mu gaciro, wenda bagasaba ko abandi babafasha. Abandi babafashije bishobora gutuma batananirwa.

16, 17. Ni ibihe bibazo abana bashobora guhura na byo mu gihe bita ku babyeyi babo bageze mu za bukuru, kandi se babikemura bate? (Reba n’agasanduku gafite umutwe uvuga ngo “Abitaho bitewe n’uko abashimira.”)

¹⁶ Kubona ababyeyi bacu dukunda bagerwaho n’ingaruka z’iza bukuru birababaza cyane. Abana benshi bita ku babyeyi babo bageze mu za bukuru bagira agahinda, bagahangayika, bakumva bashobewe, bakagira uburakari, bakicira urubanza cyangwa se bakumva bafite umujinya. Hari igihe umubyeyi ugeze mu za bukuru avuga nabi cyangwa ntagaragaze ugushimira. Ibyo nibiba ntukihutire kumurakarira. Hari umuhanga mu birebana n’indwara zo mu mutwe wavuze ko mu gihe dufite ibyiyumvo nk’ibyo, ikintu cy’ingenzi tugomba gukora ari ukwemera ko tubifite kandi ntitwicire urubanza. Jya ubwira uwo mwashakanye cyangwa undi muntu wo mu muryango, cyangwa se incuti ya bugufi uko wiyumva. Ibiganiro nk’ibyo bishobora gutuma usobanukirwa neza ibyiyumvo byawe, kandi bigatuma ukomeza gushyira mu gaciro.

¹⁷ Hari igihe abagize umuryango baba badafite ubushobozi cyangwa ubuhanga bwo gukomeza kwita ku mubyeyi wabo ari mu rugo. Bishobora kuba ngombwa ko bitabaza abandi bashobora kubafasha amasaha 24 kuri 24. Hari mushiki wacu wasuraga nyina hafi buri munsi mu kigo yabagamo cyita ku bageze mu za bukuru. Yavuze ibirebana n’umuryango we ati “ntitwashoboraga guha mama ubufasha yabaga akeneye amasaha 24 kuri 24. Kugira ngo yemere kujya muri icyo kigo ntibyari byoroshye. Byaramubabaje cyane. Icyakora, ni byo byashoboraga kumufasha mu mezi ya nyuma yari ashigaje, kandi na we yarabyemeye.”

18. Ni iki abita ku babyeyi babo bageze mu za bukuru bashobora kwiringira?

¹⁸ Inshingano yo kwita ku babyeyi bageze mu za bukuru ishobora kugorana kandi igatuma umuntu yumva ahangayitse. Nta buryo bwo kwita ku babyeyi bushobora kunogera bose. Ariko kandi, guteganya mbere y’igihe icyo muzakora, gushyira hamwe, gushyikirana neza, kandi ikirenze byose mugasenga mubikuye ku mutima, bizabafasha gusohoza inshingano yo kubaha ababyeyi banyu mukunda. Nimubigenza mutyo muzumva munyuzwe, bitewe n’uko muzaba mubitaho uko babikeneye. (Soma mu 1 Abakorinto 13:4-8.) Icy’ingenzi kurushaho, mushobora kwiringira ko muzagira amahoro yo mu mutima Yehova aha abubaha ababyeyi babo.—Fili 4:7.