Jya utera inkunga umuryango wawe ukoresheje “amagambo akwiriye”

UKO igihe cyagendaga gihita, David yagendaga arushaho kurakara. Yari yategerereje umugore we mu modoka, akajya areba ku isaha buri kanya. Kera kabaye, umugore we witwa Diane yasohotse mu nzu. David yananiwe kwifata, ahita amukankamira.

Yaramubwiye ati “urabona igihe nagutegerereje koko? Gukererwa kwawe birandambiye! Ariko se ntushobora kuzinduka nibura n’umunsi umwe?”

Diane yagize agahinda kenshi, ararira, maze ajya mu nzu. Icyo gihe David yahise abona ko akoze ibintu bidakwiriye. Umujinya we watumye ibintu birushaho kuzamba. None se ni iki yari gukora? Yajimije imodoka, asuhuza umutima maze agenda yomboka akurikiye umugore we mu nzu.

Mu by’ukuri, urwo rugero rugaragaza ibintu bisanzwe bibaho. Ese waba warigeze kuvuga amagambo, maze nyuma yaho ukicuza? Incuro nyinshi iyo tuvuze amagambo tutabanje gutekerezaho, bigera nyuma tukicuza. Birakwiriye rero ko Bibiliya igira iti “umutima w’umukiranutsi utekereza icyo ari busubize.”—Imigani 15:28.

Ariko kandi, gutekereza neza mbere yo kuvuga, by’umwihariko igihe umuntu afite umujinya, ubwoba cyangwa ababaye, bishobora kutoroha. Iyo tugaragaje ibyiyumvo byacu, cyane cyane mu gihe tuvugana n’abagize umuryango wacu, bishobora kuzambya ibintu mu buryo bworoshye, bigatuma ahubwo dutangira kubashinja icyaha cyangwa kubanenga. Ibyo bishobora gutuma umuntu ababaza undi cyangwa bikabyara intonganya.

Ni iki twakora kugira ngo tugire icyo tugeraho? Ni iki twakora kugira ngo dutegeke ibyiyumvo byacu? Hari inama z’ingirakamaro duhabwa n’umwe mu banditsi ba Bibiliya witwa Salomo.

Jya utekereza witonze ku byo uvuga n’uko ubivuga

Igihe Salomo yandikaga igitabo cyo muri Bibiliya cy’Umubwiriza, agahishurira abantu ibitekerezo bishishikaje ku birebana n’ibintu bitagira umumaro mu buzima, biragaragara ko yari afite ibyiyumvo byimbitse kuri iyo ngingo. Yagize ati ‘nanze ubugingo.’ Ndetse hari n’aho yavuze ko ubuzima ari “ubusa” (Umubwiriza 2:17; 12:8). Ariko kandi, igitabo cy’Umubwiriza ntigikubiyemo urutonde rw’ibintu byatumye Salomo amanjirwa. Yavuze ibintu uko biri nta guca ku ruhande. Ku iherezo ry’icyo gitabo, Salomo yavuze ko ‘yashatse kumenya amagambo akwiriye n’Ibyanditswe bitunganye, iby’amagambo y’ukuri’ (Umubwiriza 12:10). Ubundi buhinduzi bugira buti “yagerageje gusobanura ibintu mu buryo bwiza kuruta ubundi kandi buhuje n’ukuri.”—Contemporary English Version.

Biragaragara ko Salomo yabonye ko agomba  gukomeza kugenzura ibyiyumvo bye. Mu by’ukuri, yakomeje kwibaza ati ‘ese ibyo nteganya kuvuga bihuje n’ukuri koko? Ese nimvuga aya magambo, abandi barabona ari meza kandi akwiriye koko?’ Igihe yashakishaga amagambo “akwiriye” kandi y’ukuri, yashoboye kurinda ibyiyumvo bye kugira ngo bidapfukirana ibitekerezo bye.

Iyo mihati yashyizeho yatumye igitabo yanditse kiba cyiza cyane kuruta ibindi kandi kirimo ubwenge buturuka ku Mana ku birebana n’intego y’ubuzima (2 Timoteyo 3:16, 17). Ese kuba Salomo yaravuze ibirebana no kugaragaza ibyiyumvo byimbitse, ntibyagombye kudufasha kurushaho kugirana imishyikirano myiza n’abo dukunda? Reka dufate urugero.

Uko wategeka ibyiyumvo byawe

Dufate urugero. Tuvuge ko umwana avuye ku ishuri akazana urupapuro rw’indangamanota asa naho ababaye. Se arebe ku rutonde rw’amasomo abone isomo rimwe umwana yatsinzwe. Se ahite arakara, yibuke ko incuro nyinshi umwana yagiye arazika umukoro we ntawukore. Se aramukankamiye ati “sha uri umunebwe! Kandi nukomeza gutya nta cyo uzimamarira!”

Mbere y’uko uwo mubyeyi asubizanya umujinya, byari kuba byiza yibajije ati ‘ese ibi bintu ntekereza ni byo cyangwa bihuje n’ukuri?’ Kwibaza icyo kibazo byari gutuma ibyiyumvo bye bidapfukirana ukuri kw’ibyabaye (Imigani 17:27). Ese kuba uwo mwana yari yatsinzwe isomo rimwe ni byo byatuma atagira icyo yigezaho mu buzima bwe bwose? Ese koko ni umunebwe? Cyangwa yagiye arazika uwo mukoro kubera ko atumvaga iryo somo? Bibiliya yagiye itsindagiriza akamaro ko gushyira mu gaciro (Tito 3:2; Yakobo 3:17). Kugira ngo umubyeyi atere umwana we inkunga, akwiriye kumubwira “amagambo akwiriye kandi y’ukuri.”

Jya utoranya amagambo akwiriye

Niba uwo mubyeyi yari yiyemeje kugira icyo avuga, yashoboraga kwibaza ati ‘ni gute nakoresha amagambo umwana wanjye abona ko akwiriye kandi meza?’ Ni iby’ukuri ko gutoranya amagambo akwiriye bitoroshye. Ariko kandi, ababyeyi bagombye kumenya ko abana b’ingimbi n’abangavu bagira imitekerereze yo kumva ko badatunganye kandi ko ibyo bishobora gutuma nta cyo bageraho. Bashobora kwitwaza intege nke kandi bakazikabiriza, bityo ibyo bigahita bigaragaza uko bibona. Umubyeyi aramutse agaragaje uburakari, bishobora gutuma umwana yumva ko nta cyo azimarira koko. Mu Bakolosayi 3:21 hagira hati “namwe ba se, ntimukarakaze abana banyu kugira ngo batazinukwa.”

Amagambo nk’aya ngo “buri gihe” n’andi ngo “habe na rimwe,” incuro nyinshi arushaho kuzambya ibintu. Ese umubyeyi aramutse avuze ngo “nta kintu na kimwe uzimarira,” umwana yazigera yumva ko afite agaciro? Iyo umwana abwiwe kenshi ko nta cyo azimarira, ashobora gutangira kumva ko nta cyo azageraho na gito. Birumvikana ko ayo magambo adaca umwana intege gusa ahubwo nta nubwo ahuje n’ukuri.

Buri gihe, ndetse no mu mimerere iyo ari yo yose, byarushaho kuba byiza umuntu yibanze ku bintu byiza. Umubyeyi tumaze kubona haruguru yashoboraga kuvuga wenda ati “mwana wa, ndabona ubabaye kubera ko hari isomo watsinzwe. Ariko nzi ko muri rusange ushyiraho imihati mu byo ukora. Noneho reka turebe ikibazo kijyanye n’iri somo, hanyuma tuze kugenzurira hamwe uko wazahangana n’ibibazo byose waba warahuye na byo.” Nanone kugira ngo uwo mubyeyi amenye ukuntu yafasha umwana we mu buryo bwiza kurushaho, yashoboraga kwibaza ibibazo runaka kugira ngo amenye ibindi bibazo byose byihishe inyuma.

Kwegera umuntu mu bugwaneza kandi ukamubwira amagambo watekerejeho neza, byaragaragaye ko ari byo bigira ingaruka nziza kuruta kuvugana uburakari. Bibiliya igira iti “amagambo anezeza . . . aryohera ubugingo bw’umuntu agakomeza ingingo ze” (Imigani 16:24). Mu by’ukuri, ayo magambo atuma abana ndetse n’abagize umuryango bose babana mu mahoro no mu rukundo.

“Ibyuzuye umutima”

Ongera utekereze ku mugabo twavuze tugitangira iyi ngingo. Ese iyo akoresha “amagambo akwiriye” kandi y’ukuri akareka gukankamira umugore we, ntibyari kurushaho kuba byiza?  Umugabo uri muri iyo mimerere byaba byiza yibajije ati ‘ese nubwo umugore wanjye akeneye kwikosora akajya azinduka, mu by’ukuri akererwa buri gihe? Ese iki ni cyo gihe cyiza cyo kumugaragariza iryo kosa? Ese aya magambo yo kumunenga no kumutura uburakari ni yo yatuma yisubiraho?’ Tugiye twibuka kwibaza ibibazo nk’ibyo, byazatuma twirinda kurakaza abo dukunda tutabigambiriye.—Imigani 29:11.

Ariko se mu gihe tuganira n’abagize umuryango wacu ariko buri gihe bigateza impaka, twakora iki? Ibyo bidusaba kureba kure, tukagenzura ibyiyumvo tugira mu gihe duhitamo amagambo tuvuga. Ibyo tuvuga, cyane cyane mu gihe dufite agahinda cyangwa duhangayitse, bihishura byinshi ku bo turi bo. Yesu yagize ati “ibyuzuye umutima [ni] byo akanwa kavuga” (Matayo 12:34). Mu yandi magambo, ibyo tuvuga bigaragaza ibitekerezo byacu byimbitse, ibyo twifuza, ndetse n’imitekerereze yacu.

Ese tubona ubuzima mu buryo nyakuri, bukwiriye kandi burangwa n’icyizere? Ijwi ryacu ndetse n’amagambo dukoresha mu gihe tuganira n’abandi bizabigaragaza. Ese tujya tugira ingeso yo kutava ku izima, kubona ibintu mu buryo butarangwa n’icyizere kandi tukanenga abandi? Niba ari uko bimeze, ibyo tubwira abantu cyangwa uko tubibabwira bishobora guca abandi intege. Dushobora kutamenya igihe twavugiye amagambo mabi cyangwa uko twaje kugira imitekerereze mibi. Ndetse hari n’igihe dushobora kumva ko tubona ibintu mu buryo bukwiriye. Ariko kandi, tugomba kuba maso kugira ngo tutishuka.—Imigani 14:12.

Kuba dufite Ijambo ry’Imana ni iby’ingenzi cyane. Bibiliya ishobora kudufasha kugenzura ibitekerezo byacu, tukamenya iby’ukuri ndetse n’ibyo tugomba gukosora (Abaheburayo 4:12; Yakobo 1:25). Uko twaba duteye kose cyangwa uko twaba twararezwe kose, twese dushobora gukosora imitekerereze ndetse n’imikorere yacu turamutse tubishaka koko.—Abefeso 4:23, 24.

Uretse kwifashisha Bibiliya, hari ikindi dushobora gukora kugira ngo twisuzume, tumenye uko dushyikirana n’abandi. Uburyo bworoshye bwadufasha kubigeraho ni ukubaza abandi. Urugero, ushobora kubwira uwo mwashakanye cyangwa umwana wawe akakubwira nta ho agukinze uko witwara ku bihereranye n’iyi ngingo. Nanone ushobora kubivuganaho n’incuti yawe ikuze kandi ikuzi neza. Kugira ngo wemere ibyo bakubwiye kandi wikosore mu gihe bibaye ngombwa, bizagusaba kwicisha bugufi.

Jya utekereza mbere yo kuvuga

Nanone kandi, niba dushaka kwirinda gukomeretsa abandi bitewe n’amagambo tubabwira, tugomba gushyira mu bikorwa ibivugwa mu Migani 16:23, hagira hati “abanyabwenge babanza gutekereza mbere yo kuvuga, bityo ibyo bavuze bikarushaho kureshya” (Today’s English Version). Gutegeka ibyiyumvo byacu bishobora kutoroha buri gihe. Nyamara nitugerageza kumva abandi aho kubacira urubanza cyangwa kubasuzugura, kubona amagambo akwiriye twakoresha bishobora kurushaho kutworohera.

Birumvikana ko nta numwe muri twe utunganye (Yakobo 3:2). Twese hari igihe tuvuga tutabanje gutekereza (Imigani 12:18). Ariko nitwishingikiriza ku Ijambo ry’Imana, gutekereza mbere yo kuvuga bishobora kuzatworohera. Nanone kandi tuzamenya gushyira ibyiyumvo ndetse n’inyungu z’abandi imbere (Abafilipi 2:4). Nimucyo twiyemeze gushaka “amagambo akwiriye” y’ukuri, cyane cyane mu gihe tuvugana n’abagize umuryango wacu. Ibyo bizatuma tutavuga amagambo ababaza cyangwa asenya, ahubwo tuvuge amagambo akiza kandi atera inkunga abo dukunda.—Abaroma 14:19.

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 12]

Ni gute wakwirinda kuvuga amagambo azatuma wicuza?