URATEKEREZA ko Michael na Maria bari bafite ikihe kibazo? Ushobora gutekereza ko ikibazo cy’ingenzi Michael yari afite ari ukureba porunogarafiya. Nyamara nk’uko Michael yaje kubyibonera, mu by’ukuri iyo ngeso yagaragazaga ko yari afite ikindi kibazo gikomeye cyane. Ntiyari agikomeye ku ishyingiranwa rye. * Michael na Maria bakimara gushyingiranwa, bari biteze ko ubuzima bwabo buzarangwa n’urukundo ndetse n’ibindi bintu bishimishije. Ariko nk’uko bigenda ku miryango myinshi, uko igihe cyagendaga gihita, Michael na Maria bagiye bateshuka ku masezerano bagiranye bashyingiranwa, kandi byasaga n’aho nta wari ucyitaye ku wundi.

Ese waba wumva urukundo wakundaga uwo mwashakanye rugenda rukendera? Ese wifuza kugira icyo ukora kugira ngo uruhembere? Niba ari uko bimeze, ukeneye kumenya ibisubizo by’ibi bibazo bitatu: gukomera ku masezerano wagiranye n’uwo mwashakanye bisobanura iki? Ni ibihe bintu bishobora gutuma abashakanye badakomera ku masezerano bagiranye? Wakora iki kugira ngo urusheho gukomera ku masezerano wagiranye n’uwo mwashakanye?

Gukomera ku masezerano mu birebana n’ishyingiranwa wabisobanura ute? Abantu benshi  bashobora kuvuga ko gukomera kuri ayo masezerano biterwa n’uko ari inshingano. Urugero, umugabo n’umugore bashobora kwiyemeza kugumana bagirira abana babo cyangwa kubera ko batekereza ko ari inshingano bahawe n’Imana, yo yatangije ishyingiranwa (Itangiriro 2:22-24). Ni koko, izo ni impamvu nziza kandi zifasha abashyingiranywe kwihanganira ibihe biruhije. Ariko kugira ngo abashakanye bagire ibyishimo, bakwiriye kumva ko babana batabitewe gusa n’uko babisabwa n’amategeko.

Yehova Imana yashyizeho gahunda y’ishyingiranwa ashaka ko abashakanye bagira ibyishimo kandi bakanyurwa. Yashakaga ko umugabo ‘yishimira umugore [we]’ kandi umugore na we agakunda umugabo we ndetse akumva ko umugabo we amukunda nk’umubiri we bwite (Imigani 5:18; Abefeso 5:28). Kugira ngo umugabo n’umugore we bakundane bigeze aho, bagomba kwitoza kwizerana. Ikindi kintu cy’ingenzi cyane baba bakeneye, ni ukugirana ubucuti budashira. Iyo umugabo n’umugore we bizerana kandi bagakora uko bashoboye kugira ngo babe incuti magara, barushaho kwiyemeza kubana akaramata. Ibyo bituma urukundo rwabo rukomera cyane. Bibiliya ivuga ko ari nk’aho abo bantu babiri baba babaye “umubiri umwe.”—Matayo 19:5.

Ku bw’ibyo, gukomera ku masezerano y’ishyingiranwa twabigereranya na sima ifatanya amatafari y’inzu ikomeye cyane. Iyo sima iba igizwe n’ibintu bitandukanye. Aha twavuga nk’umucanga, sima, n’amazi. No gukomera ku masezerano mu birebana n’ishyingiranwa ni kimwe. Abashakanye baba bumva ko bagomba kubana, bakizerana kandi bakagirana ubucuti. Ni iki gishobora guhungabanya ubwo bumwe?

Gukomera ku masezerano birarushya kandi bisaba kwigomwa. Bisaba ko ugira ubushake bwo kwirengagiza ibyo wifuza, kugira ngo ushimishe uwo mwashakanye. Ariko kandi, abantu benshi babona ko gushyira mu gaciro ugakora ibyo undi muntu yifuza nta nyungu ubifitemo, bidasanzwe. Hari n’ababona ko nta wabyemera. Ariko noneho ibaze uti ‘ni abantu bangahe nzi bagira ubwikunde, bafite ishyingiranwa rirangwa n’ibyishimo? Ushobora gusubiza uti “niba banahari ni bake.” Kubera iki? Kubera ko umuntu wikunda ashobora kudakomera ku masezerano yagiranye n’uwo bashakanye mu gihe byaba bimusaba kugira ibyo yigomwa, cyane cyane iyo yumva nta nyungu ari buhite abibonamo. Iyo abashakanye badakomeye ku masezerano bagiranye, ubumwe bari bafitanye burayoyoka, nubwo baba baratangiye bakundana cyane.

Bibiliya ivuga ukuri iyo ivuga ko ishyingiranwa risaba imihati myinshi. Ivuga ko “umugabo washatse ahangayikishwa n’iby’isi, uko yakwemerwa n’umugore we,” kandi ko “umugore ufite umugabo ahangayikishwa n’iby’isi, uko yakwemerwa n’umugabo we” (1 Abakorinto 7:33, 34). Ikibabaje ni uko n’abashakanye badafite ingeso y’ubwikunde atari ko buri gihe bemera ko bagenzi babo bahangayitse, cyangwa ngo bahe agaciro ibyo abo bashakanye bigomwe. Iyo umugabo n’umugore badashimirana, ishyingiranwa ryabo rishobora kurushaho kubateza “imibabaro yo mu mubiri” itari ngombwa.—1 Abakorinto 7:28.

Niba wifuza ko ishyingiranwa ryawe ryihanganira ibihe biruhije kandi mu bihe byiza rigakomera, ukwiriye kubona ko ugomba kubana iteka n’uwo mwashakanye. Wakora iki kugira ngo ubyumve utyo, kandi se ni gute wafasha uwo mwashakanye gukomera ku masezerano mwagiranye?

Ikintu cy’ingenzi cyabigufashamo ni ugushyira mu bikorwa inama zo mu Ijambo ry’Imana, ari ryo Bibiliya. Nubigenza utyo, wowe n’uwo mwashakanye ‘bizabagirira umumaro’ (Yesaya 48:17). Reka dusuzume intambwe ebyiri z’ingirakamaro ushobora gutera.

1. Jya ushyira ishyingiranwa ryawe mu mwanya wa mbere.

Intumwa Pawulo yaranditse  ati ‘mumenye neza ibintu by’ingenzi kurusha ibindi’ (Abafilipi 1:10). Imana yita cyane ku byo umugabo n’umugore bagirirana. Umugabo uha agaciro umugore we, na we Imana izakamuha. Kandi umugore wubaha umugabo we ‘afite agaciro kenshi mu maso y’Imana.’—1 Petero 3:1-4, 7.

Ese ishyingiranwa ryawe uriha agaciro kangana iki? Ubusanzwe iyo ikintu gifite agaciro kenshi, ukigenera igihe kirekire. Noneho ibaze uti “mu kwezi gushize namaranye igihe kingana iki n’uwo twashakanye? Ni ibihe bintu bigaragara nakoreye uwo twashakanye bimwereka ko nkimukunda cyane?” Niba waragennye igihe gito cyo kwita ku ishyingiranwa ryawe cyangwa ntunagire icyo uteganya, uwo mwashakanye ashobora kutemera ko ugikomeye ku masezerano mwagiranye.

Ese uwo mwashakanye abona ko ugikomeye ku masezerano mwagiranye? Ibyo wabitahura ute?

2. Irinde ubuhemu bw’uburyo bwose.

Yesu Kristo yaravuze ati “umuntu wese ukomeza kwitegereza umugore kugeza ubwo amwifuza, aba amaze gusambana na we mu mutima we” (Matayo 5:28). Iyo umuntu asambanye, aba yangije bikomeye ishyingiranwa. Ndetse na Bibiliya ivuga ko ibyo bishobora gutuma abashakanye batana (Matayo 5:32). Icyakora, amagambo ya Yesu tumaze kubona, agaragaza ko mbere y’uko umuntu asambana ashobora kuba amaranye igihe kirekire icyo cyifuzo kibi mu mutima. Kuba amaranye igihe kirekire icyo cyifuzo, ubwabyo ni ubuhemu.

Kugira ngo mukomere ku masezerano mwagiranye, mwiyemeze kutazigera mureba porunogarafiya. Porunogarafiya yangiza ishyingiranwa, nubwo abantu benshi babihakana. Zirikana uko umugore umwe yasobanuye uko yumvaga ameze kubera ko umugabo we yari afite ingeso yo kureba porunogarafiya. Yagize ati “umugabo wanjye avuga ko kureba porunogarafiya  bituma turushaho kugaragarizanya urukundo. Nyamara bituma numva nta cyo maze, nkumva ko ntamuhagije. Iyo ayirebye ndarira simenye igihe nasinziriye.” Ese wavuga ko uwo mugabo akomeza ishyingiranwa rye cyangwa ararisenya? Ese utekereza ko afasha umugore we gukomera ku masezerano bagiranye? Ese afata umugore we nk’incuti ye magara?

Umugabo wizerwa witwaga Yobu yasobanuye ukuntu yari akomeye ku ishyingiranwa rye no ku mishyikirano yari afitanye n’Imana, ‘asezerana n’amaso ye.’ Yari yariyemeje ‘kutifuza umukobwa’ (Yobu 31:1). Ni gute wakwigana Yobu?

Uretse no kwirinda porunogarafiya, ukeneye kurinda umutima wawe kugirana ubucuti budakwiriye n’umuntu mudahuje igitsina. Mu by’ukuri, abantu benshi bumva ko kugirana agakungu n’abo badahuje igitsina nta cyo byatwara ishyingiranwa. Ariko Ijambo ry’Imana riduha umuburo ugira uti “umutima w’umuntu urusha ibintu byose gushukana, kandi ufite indwara ntiwizere gukira. Ni nde ushobora kuwumenya uko uri?”(Yeremiya 17:9). Ese umutima wawe ujya ugushuka? Ibaze uti “ese ni nde nitaho cyane? Ni uwo twashakanye cyangwa ni undi? Iyo uwo twashakanye ambwiye ko ngomba kugabanya imishyikirano ngirana na mugenzi wanjye tudahuje igitsina mbyifatamo nte? Ese ndarakara cyangwa nkora ibyo ambwiye nishimye?”

Michael na Maria twavuze mu ntangiriro z’iyi ngingo bafashe umwanzuro wo kugisha inama kugira ngo bakemure ibibazo bari bafite. Birumvikana ko kugisha inama ari intambwe ya mbere. Ariko igihe Michael na Maria bemeraga ko bashaka gukemura ibibazo byabo kandi bakagisha inama, bagaragaje ko bari bakomeye ku masezerano bagiranye bashyingiranwa. Nanone bagaragaje ko bashakaga gukora ibishoboka byose kugira ngo ishyingiranwa ryabo ribe ryiza.

Waba ubanye neza n’uwo mwashakanye cyangwa mufitanye ibibazo, uwo mwashakanye akeneye kumenya ko wiyemeje gukora uko ushoboye kugira ngo mubane neza. Ku bw’ibyo, tera intambwe za ngombwa zizatuma uwo mwashakanye yemera ko ushaka ko mubana neza. Ese uzabikora?