“NIBA hari icyo nagufashamo, ntuzuyaze kubimenyesha.” Ngayo amagambo benshi muri twe babwira incuti cyangwa umuvandimwe uherutse gupfusha uwo yakundaga. Yewe, ibyo ndetse tunabivugana umutima utaryarya. Twumva rwose twakora ibishoboka byose kugira ngo tubafashe. Ariko se hari ubwo wa muntu wapfushije ajya aduhamagara maze akatubwira ati “natekereje, none nabonye ko ikintu wamfashamo ari iki n’iki?” Akenshi si ko bigenda. Uko bigaragara, birashoboka ko byaba ari ngombwa kwibwiriza icyo twakora niba dushaka koko kugira icyo dufashamo no guhumuriza wa muntu ufite agahinda.

Umugani umwe wa Bibiliya ugira uti “ijambo ryizihiye, rivuzwe mu gihe gikwiriye, ni nk’amatunda y’izahabu ku mbehe y’ifeza” (Imigani 15:23; 25:11). Kumenya icyo wavuga n’icyo utagomba kuvuga, icyo ugomba gukora n’icyo utagomba gukora, bisaba ubushishozi. Dore zimwe mu nama zishingiye ku Byanditswe zafashije cyane bamwe mu bari bapfushije ababo.

Tega amatwi: Muri Yakobo 1:19 hagira hati “umuntu wese yihutire kumva.” Kimwe mu bintu by’ingenzi ushobora gukora kugira ngo wifatanye mu kababaro k’uwapfushije, ni ukumutega amatwi. Bamwe mu bapfushije bashobora kumva bashaka kuganira ku muntu wabo bakundaga wapfuye, ku mpanuka cyangwa indwara yamuhitanye, cyangwa se ku byiyumvo bagize bamaze kumupfusha. Bityo rero, baza uti “urumva wifuza se ko tubiganiraho?” Reka bagire icyo babivugaho. Umusore umwe wibuka iby’igihe se yapfaga, yagize ati “mu by’ukuri byaramfashije rwose ubwo abandi bambazaga uko byagenze maze bakantega amatwi by’ukuri.” Tega amatwi utarambirwa kandi wifatanye n’uwo muganira utumva uhatirwa gutanga ibisubizo n’imikemurire ya buri kibazo. Bareke bavuge ibyo baba bashaka kuvuga byose.

Humuriza: Bahumurize ubumvisha ko bakoze ibyo bashoboraga gukora byose (cyangwa se ubamenyeshe ikindi kintu uzi cyabayeho koko cyubaka). Ongera ubahumurize ubumvisha ko uko biyumva—ishavu, uburakari, kwishinja icyaha, cyangwa se ikindi cyiyumvo cyose—nta na kimwe muri ibyo byose kidasanzwe. Gira icyo ubabwira ku bandi bantu uzi banyuze muri bene iyo mimerere yo gupfusha nyamara ariko bakaba barayisohotsemo, none ubu bakaba bameze neza. “Amagambo anezeza” nk’ayo ‘akomeza ingingo’ nk’uko mu Migani 16:24 havuga.—1 Abatesalonike 5:11, 14.

Gerageza kuboneka: Shaka uburyo waboneka kenshi atari mu minsi ya mbere gusa, ubwo incuti n’abavandimwe benshi baba bahari, ahubwo ushake umwanya ku buryo unaboneka nyuma y’amezi menshi abandi bamaze kwisubirira mu mirimo yabo isanzwe. Muri ubwo buryo ni bwo uzaba ugaragaje ko uri “incuti” ya yindi ibonekera mu “makuba”  (Imigani 17:17). Teresea wibuka uko byagenze ubwo yapfushaga umwana ahitanywe n’impanuka y’imodoka, yagize ati “incuti zacu zakoze ku buryo tuba dufite gahunda runaka buri mugoroba, bityo bituma tutajya tumara igihe kirekire cyane turi twenyine mu rugo.” Yungamo ati “ibyo byadufashije guhangana n’ibyiyumvo byo kumva tutakiri twese.” Na nyuma y’imyaka myinshi, igihe cyo kwibuka ikintu runaka, nk’igihe umuntu amaze ashyingiwe cyangwa se itariki yapfushirijeho, kiba ari igihe kibabaza cyane abasigaye. Ni kuki utashyira akamenyetso ku matariki nk’ayo kuri kalendari yawe kugira ngo nagera uzabashe kuboneka maze byaba ngombwa ugashyigikira uwapfushije wifatanya na we?

Ibwirize gukora ibintu bikenewe: Mbese, hakenewe ujya guhaha? Mbese, haba hakenewe usigarana abana? Mbese, incuti cyangwa abafitanye isano n’uwapfushije baba bakeneye aho kurara? Abantu bamaze igihe gito bapfushije baba bafite amaganya menshi ku buryo bataba banakimenya ibyo bagomba gukora ubwabo, ntibashobora rero kubwira abandi ibyo babafasha gukora. Ku bw’ibyo rero, niba ubona koko ikintu runaka gikenewe, ntutegereze kugisabwa; ibwirize. (1 Abakorinto 10:24; gereranya na 1 Yohana 3:17, 18.) Umugore umwe wari warapfushije umugabo, aribuka ibyamubayeho muri aya magambo ngo “abantu benshi bakunze kuvuga bati ‘niba hari icyo nagufashamo, ntuzuyaze kubimenyesha.’ Nyamara ariko, hari incuti imwe itaragize icyo imbaza. Yahise iboneza iyo mu cyumba ndaramo, irasasura maze imesa amashuka yari yaranduye igihe umugabo wanjye yapfaga. Indi ncuti na yo yafashe indobo, amazi n’ibikoresho byo gusukura maze yoza umusambi umugabo wanjye yari yararutseho. Hashize ibyumweru bike, hahingutse umusaza umwe w’itorero yambaye imyambaro ye y’akazi afite n’ibikoresho bye maze aravuga ati ‘nzi ko hari ibintu bikeneye gusanwa. Mbese byaba ari ibihe?’ Uwo mugabo yanyuze umutima ubwo yasanaga urugi rwari rusigaye rufashe ku ipata rimwe gusa, ndetse akanakora icyuma kimwe cy’amashanyarazi cyari cyarapfuye!”—Gereranya na Yakobo 1:27.

Ujye ugira urugwiro: Bibiliya iratwibutsa iti “ntimukirengagize gucumbikira abashyitsi” (Abaheburayo 13:2). Mu buryo bw’umwihariko, twagombye kwibuka kugirira urugwiro abantu bapfushije ababo. Aho kubabwira ngo “igihe cyose muzashakira  muzaze,” bahe itariki n’isaha. Nibaramuka banze kwitabira ubwo butumire, ntuhite uhagararira aho. Ahari wenda haba hakenewe kubatera inkunga ubigiranye ubugwaneza. Birashoboka ko banze kwitabira ubutumire bwawe kuko batinyaga ko bananirwa no gutegeka ibyiyumvo byabo bari imbere y’abandi bantu. Cyangwa se ahari bumva baba batandukiriye mu bihe nk’ibyo baramutse bagaragaje ibyishimo mu gihe basangiye kandi bakanasabana n’abandi. Ibuka urugero rw’umugore wari uzwiho kwakira abashyitsi witwaga Ludiya uvugwa muri Bibiliya. Ubwo Luka yatumirwaga iwe, yavuze ko ‘yabahase.’—Ibyakozwe 16:15.

Nturambirwe kandi ugerageze kumva abandi: Ntugatangazwe cyane n’amagambo abapfushije bavuga mu mizo ya mbere. Ibuka ko bashobora kuba bumva bafite uburakari no kwishinja icyaha. Niba ibyiyumvo byabo bibateye kukubwirana umushiha, bizagusaba ubushihozi no kwihangana kugira ngo nawe utabasubizanya uburakari. Bibiliya itugira inama iti “mwambare umutima w’imbabazi, n’ineza, no kwicisha bugufi, n’ubugwaneza, no kwihangana.”—Abakolosayi 3:12, 13.

Andika ibarwa: Akenshi abantu ntibakunze kumenya agaciro k’ibarwa cyangwa ikarita yo kwifatanya mu kababaro. Bifite akahe gaciro? Dore igisubizo duhabwa na Cindy wapfushije nyina ahitanywe na kanseri: “incuti yanjye imwe yanyandikiye akabarwa keza cyane. Karamfashije by’ukuri kuko nashoboraga kujya ngasoma hato na hato.” Bene iyo barwa cyangwa ikarita yo gutera inkunga ishobora kuba yanditse “mu magambo make,” ariko ibikubiyemo bigomba kuba bikuvuye ku mutima koko (Abaheburayo 13:22). Dushobora kwandikamo uburyo twibuka uwapfuye mu buryo bw’umwihariko, n’ukuntu kumubura byagize ingaruka ku buzima bwacu.

Ifatanye na bo mu isengesho: Ntugafatane uburemere buke igikorwa cyo gusengana n’abatakaje ababo cyangwa se kubasengera. Bibiliya igira iti “gusenga k’umukiranutsi kugira umumaro mwinshi” (Yakobo 5:16). Urugero, iyo bumvise ubasabira, bishobora kubafasha kunesha ibyiyumvo bibaca intege baba bafite byo kwishinja icyaha.—Gereranya na Yakobo 5:13-15.

Ntubitarure ngo ni uko utazi icyo wavuga cyangwa se icyo wakora: Ahari wenda dushobora kwibwira tuti ‘nzi neza ko nta muntu bashaka iruhande rwabo ubu ngubu.’ Nyamara ahubwo, hari ubwo ari uko twaba dushaka kubitarura dutinya kuba twagira ikintu tuvuga cyangwa se dukora gikocamye. Icyakora, kumva wahawe akato n’incuti, abavandimwe cyangwa se abo musangiye kwizera byatuma umuntu yumva arushijeho kwigunga, bityo bikamwongerera umubabaro. Zirikana ko amagambo n’ibikorwa by’ubugwaneza akenshi bitagombera kuba bihambaye (Abefeso 4:32). Kuba uhari byonyine bishobora gutera inkunga. (Gereranya n’Ibyakozwe 28:15.) Yibuka umunsi umukobwa we yapfaga, Teresea aragira ati “mu isaha imwe gusa, ikirongozi cy’ibitaro cyari cyuzuye incuti zacu; abasaza b’itorero bose hamwe n’abagore babo bari bahari. Abagore bamwe ntibari babonye n’umwanya wo kuvana ibigude mu mutwe, hari n’abari bambaye imyenda yabo y’akazi. Bataye ibyo bakoraga byose maze baraza. Abenshi muri bo batubwiye ko batari bazi icyo bavuga, icyakora ibyo nta cyo byari bitwaye kuko kuhaba kwabo kwari guhagije.”

Ntubahatire kureka kurira: Hari ubwo wenda twakumva twababwira tuti ‘rwose noneho ihangane, ureke kurira.’ Nyamara byaba byiza kurushaho tubaretse bakarira. Katherine, yibuka ubwo yapfushaga umugabo, aragira ati “ntekereza ko ari ibintu by’ingenzi kureka uwapfushije akagaragaza uko yiyumva maze agasohora agahinda ke.” Gerageza kurwanya ibigusunikira kubwiriza abandi uko bagomba kwiyumva. Nawe kandi ntiwumve ko ugomba kugerageza guhisha ibyiyumvo byawe ngo ni ukugira ngo utabababaza. Ahubwo, nk’uko Bibiliya ibitangamo  inama, “[m]urirane n’abarira.”—Abaroma 12:15.

Ntiwihutire kubagira inama yo kwigiza hirya imyambaro cyangwa ibindi bikoresho bya bwite by’uwapfuye mu gihe bo bumva bitari byabajyamo: Ahari wenda hari ubwo twakumva byaba ari byiza ko batakomeza kubona ibintu bibibutsa cyane uwapfuye, kubera ko ngo byatuma barushaho kugira agahinda. Nyamara ariko, mu mimerere nk’iyo, nta wakoresha umugani uvuga ngo “kure y’amaso ni kure y’umutima.” Hari ubwo uwapfushije ashobora kuba ashaka kujya agenda yibagirwa uwapfuye buhoro buhoro. Ibuka uko Bibiliya ivuga imyifatire y’umukambwe Yakobo ubwo bamwumvishaga ko umuhungu we w’umusore Yosefu yishwe n’inyamaswa y’inkazi. Yakobo amaze kubona ikanzu ya Yosefu yuzuyeho amaraso, ‘yamaze iminsi myinshi ababaye yiraburiye umwana we. Abahungu be bose n’abakobwa be bose barahaguruka ngo bamumare umubabaro: ariko yanga kumarwa umubabaro.’—Itangiriro 37:31-35.

 Ntuvuge uti ‘uzongera ubyare undi mwana’: Umugore umwe wapfushije umwana, aribuka ati “sinishimaga na busa iyo abantu bambwiraga ngo nzongera kubyara undi mwana.” Ahari ayo magambo ashobora kuba avuganywe umutima mwiza, ariko rero ku mubyeyi wapfushije umwana, amagambo avuga ko umwana we ashobora gusimburwa n’undi, ashobora “kwicana nk’inkota” (Imigani 12:18). Nta mwana ushobora gusimbura undi. Kubera iki? Kubera ko buri mwana aba afite umwihariko we.

Ntiwumve uhatirwa kwirinda byanze bikunze kugira icyo uvuga ku wapfuye: Umubyeyi umwe w’umugore aribuka ibyamubayeho muri aya magambo ngo “abantu benshi birindaga kuvuga izina ry’umuhungu wanjye Jimmy, ndetse bakanirinda n’amagambo yamwerekeraho. Ndemeza rwose ko numvaga bimbabaje iyo babyifatagamo batyo.” Ku bw’ibyo rero, ntiwumve ko byanze bikunze ugomba guhindura ikiganiro iyo hagize uvuga izina ry’uwapfuye. Baza uwapfushije niba yumva ashaka kuganira ku we yakundaga. (Gereranya na Yobu 1:18, 19 na 10:1.) Hari abantu bamwe bapfusha bakishimira kumva incuti zivuga imico myiza bakundiraga uwapfuye.—Gereranya n’Ibyakozwe 9:36-39.

Ntugire ubwira bwo kuvuga ngo ‘bishobora kuba ari cyo gisubizo’: Kugerageza kubona ko urupfu rwabaye hari ikibazo runaka rwaba rwarakemuye, nta bwo buri gihe ‘bikomeza abacogora’ bafite agahinda (1 Abatesalonike 5:14). Yibuka igihe nyina yapfaga, umugore umwe ukiri muto yagize ati “hari abavugaga ngo ‘ubu ntakibabara,’ cyangwa ngo ‘ubu noneho yibereye mu mahoro.’ Nyamara sinashakaga kumva bene ayo magambo.” Ayo magambo aba ahishe inyuma igitekerezo cy’uko abasigaye batagombye kugira agahinda cyangwa ko kuba bapfushije atari ikintu gikomeye. Nyamara kandi, baba bababaye cyane kubera ko baba babuze cyane uwo bakundaga.

Si byiza kuvuga ngo ‘nzi ukuntu umerewe’: Koko se uba ubizi? Urugero, none se ushobora kumenya uko umubyeyi wapfushije umwana aba amerewe kandi ibyo bitarigeze bikubaho? Kandi n’iyo byaba byarakubayeho, menya ko abandi bashobora kuba batiyumva uko wowe wiyumvaga. (Gereranya n’Amaganya 1:12.) Ku rundi ruhande, niba ari igihe cyabyo, bishobora kugira umumaro kuvuga uko wabashije gutsinda agahinda wagize ubwo watakazaga uwo wakundaga. Umugore umwe wari warapfushije umukobwa azira urugomo, yahumurijwe n’undi mugore na we wari warapfushije umukobwa we ubwo yamubwiraga uko yabashije kongera kubaho ubuzima busanzwe. Yagize ati “uwo mugore na we wari warapfushije umukobwa we ntiyateruye inkuru ye agira ati ‘nzi uko umerewe.’ Yambwiye gusa uko we byamugendekeye maze arandeka ngo nigeragereze kubihuza n’ibyambayeho.”

Gufasha umuntu wapfushije bisaba kugira impuhwe, gushishoza no kugira urukundo rwinshi. Ntutegereze ko abapfushije bagusanga. Ntuhugire mu kuvuga gusa ngo “niba hari icyo nagufashamo . . . ” “Icyo kintu,” cyishakire nawe ubwawe, wibwirize gukora ibikenewe.

Nyamara haracyari ibindi bibazo bike bisigaye: bite se ku byiringiro by’umuzuko Bibiliya itanga? Ibyo se byagira ngaruka ki ari kuri wowe ari no k’uwawe wakundaga wapfuye? Twabwirwa n’iki se ko ibyo byiringiro ari ibyo kwizerwa?