1, 2. (a) Thangwi ya mabanja mapswa, kodi tinabvundzikanji, na thangwi yanji? (b) Ndi mibvundzo ipi inafuna ife kudinga mu nsolo uno?

KODI musakomerwa kuenda ku phwando yakumanga banja? Azinji asafuna, thangwi midzidzi ineyi isakomeresa kakamwe. Imwe musaona anyakumanga banja mbabvala nguwo zawo zakubalika. Kusiyapo pyenepi, nkhope zawo ziri zakukomerwa kakamwe. Pa ntsiku ineyi, iwo ali akukomerwa, na tsogolo yawo isaoneka ninga yadzala na pinthu pizinji pyadidi.

² Ngakhale tenepa, tisafunika kutawira kuti mabanja mazinji lero ali kutamba nyatwa. Maseze cifuno cathu ndi cakuti anyakumala kwene kumanga banja apembere, m’midzidzi inango tinabvundzika: ‘Kodi banja iyi inadzakhala yakutsandzaya? Kodi inadzakhala kwenda na kwenda?’ Matawiro a mibvundzo ineyi asanyindira mamuna na nkazi khala asakhulupira na asaphatisira uphungu wa Mulungu wakulonga pya banja. (Lerini Misangani 3:5, 6.) Iwo asafunika kucita pyenepi toera akhale mu ufuni wa Mulungu. Tendeni cincino tidinge ntawiro wa Bhibhlya ku mibvundzo iyi minai: Thangwi yanji anthu asamanga banja? Khala munamanga banja, kodi mbani anafunika imwe kusankhula toera kumanga naye banja? Kodi munakhunganyika tani toera kumanga banja? Ndi ninji cinafuna kuphedza anyakumanga banja toera akhale akutsandzaya m’banja?

3. Thangwi yanji si pyandzeru tayu kumanga banja thangwi ya pinthu pyakukhonda dziwika mwadidi?

³ Anango asakhulupira kuti kumanga banja ndi kwakufunika kakamwe toera kutsandzaya kwakuti mungakhonda kugumana  ndzanu wakumanga naye banja imwe nkhabe kwanisa kutsandzaya peno kukomerwa mu umaso. Unoyu ndi uthambi! Yezu, mamuna wanzice, alonga uzice ninga muoni na awangisa ale anakwanisa kuti akhale tenepo. (Mateo 19:11, 12) Mpostolo Paulu alongambo maphindu akukhala nzice. (1 Akorinto 7:32-38) Nee Yezu nee Paulu aikha ntemo wakuti munthu asafunika kukhala nzice; natenepa, ‘kukhondesa anthu kusemba’ kuli pakati pa ‘mapfundzisiro a mademonyo.’ (1 Timoti 4:1-3) Ngakhale tenepa, kukhala nzice kusapasa miyai mizinji kwa ale anafuna kutumikira Yahova mwakukhonda cidzudzumiso. Natenepa, si pyandzeru tayu kumanga banja thangwi ya pinthu pyakukhonda dziwika mwadidi, ninga nkakamizo wa axamwali.

4. Kumanga banja mwadidi kusaikha phata ipi toera kukuza ana?

⁴ Kukhundu inango, kodi pana mathangwi adidi akumanga banja? Inde. Pontho kumanga banja ndi muoni wakubuluka kwa Mulungu waufuni. (Lerini Genesi 2:18.) Natenepa, iko kuli na maphindu mangasi na kunakwanisa kubweresa kutsandzaya. Mwacitsandzo, kumanga banja mwadidi ndi phata ya umaso wa m’banja. Anapiana asafuna makhaliro akulinganira pakukuzwa na anyakubalawo, kufuniwa, kusandikwa na kupaswa citsogolero. (Masalmo 127:3; Aefesi 6:1-4) Mbwenye, nkhabe funika kumanga banja thangwi yakufuna kubala ana basi tayu.

5, 6. (a) Mwakubverana na Koelete 4:9-12, ndi api maphindu mangasi akukhala na uxamwali wadidi? (b) Kodi banja inakwanisa tani kulandaniswa na nkhambala zitatu zakulukwa pabodzi?

⁵ Dingani lemba ya nsolo uno pabodzi na mafala ace a n’khundu: ‘Mphyadidi kukhala anthu awiri, kupita kukhala munthu ekhene, thangwi anthu awiri anaona maphindu pa basa yawo. M’bodzi angagwa, ndzace anamulamusa. Ndi dzedze kuli munthu ali ekhene, angagwa anadzaona munthu tayu wakumulamusa. Anthu awiri angagona pabodzi pene anapisirwa; mbwenye pinadzakwanisika tanimbo kuti munthu ekhene apisirwe? Munthu ekhene asakundwa, mbwenye awiri asawanga. Nkhambala zitatu zakulukwa pabodzi pene zisanentsa kuthumuka.’—Koelete 4:9-12.

 ⁶ Pakutoma, lemba ineyi isalonga kufunika kukhala na uxamwali. Mwandimomwene, banja isaphataniza uxamwali wadidi. Uxamwali unoyu unakwanisa kubweresa ciphedzo, ciwangiso na citsidzikizo. Banja isakhala yakuwanga kakamwe khala iyo iri na uxamwali wakupiringana anthu awiri basi. Nkhambala ziwiri, ninga pinalonga vesi ineyi, zinakwanisa kuthumuka mwakukhonda nentsa. Mbwenye, nkhambala zitatu zakulukwa pabodzi pene zinanentsa kuzithumula. Mamuna na nkazi angaikha kukomeresa Yahova pa mbuto yakutoma, banja yawo isakhala ninga nkhambala zenezi zitatu zakulukwa pabodzi. Kuperekeka kwawo kwa Yahova kusacita khundu yakufunika kakamwe m’banja, natenepa uxamwali usakhala wakuwanga kakamwe.

7, 8. (a) Ndi uphungu upi udalemba Paulu kwa azice Acikristu anathimbana na pifuno pyakupita m’mabonde? (b) Bhibhlya isatipasa maonero api adidi akumanga banja?

⁷ Pontho, ndi m’banja basi munakwaniriswa mwakuthema cifuno cakupita m’mabonde. Mwenemu, kupita m’mabonde kunakwanisa kuoniwa ninga ncera wa citsandzayo. (Misangani 5:18) Munthu wakukhonda kumanga banja angapita thunga inalonga Bhibhlya kuti uphale peno utsikana, ndzidzi wakuti cilepelepe cakupita m’mabonde ndi cakuwanga, m’phale peno ntsikana angapitirize kuthimbana na pifuno pyakupita m’mabonde. Tingakhonda kuona mwadidi, pifuno pyenepi pinatsogolera ku pyakuipa peno makhaliro akukhonda thema. Paulu apumirwa kulemba uphungu uyu kwa azice: ‘Anthu anasowa mphambvu zakukhala okha amange banja yawo thangwi kumanga banja nkhwadidi kupita kupya muntima.’—1 Akorinto 7:9, 36; Tyago 1:15.

⁸ Mwakukhonda tsalakana pinacitisa munthu kumanga banja, mphyadidi kudziwa undimomwene. Ninga mudalonga Paulu, ale anamanga banja ‘anadzaona nyatwa m’manungo mwawo.’ (1 Akorinto 7:28) Anyakumanga banja asathimbana na nyatwa zakuti azice nkhabe kudzathimbana nazo. Natenepa, khala imwe mwasankhula kumanga banja, kodi munakwanisa tani kucepesa nyatwa na kukulisa kutsandzaya? Njira ibodzi ndi kusankhula mwandzeru ndzanu wakumanga naye banja.

9, 10. (a) Paulu apangiza tani ngozwi yakumanga banja na munthu wakukhonda khulupira? (b) Ndi ninji pinacitika kazinji kene thangwi yakupwaza uphungu wa Mulungu wakukhonda kumanga banja na nyakukhonda khulupira?

⁹ Paulu apumirwa toera kulemba n’dida unafunika kuphatisirwa pakusankhula ndzanu wakumanga naye banja: “Lekani kumangirwa na Ajentiyu pa gole ibodzibodzi.” (2 Akorinto 6:14) Pa nsangani wace aphatisira umaso wa basa yakulima. Khala pinyama piwiri ndi pyakusiyana mu thunga peno mphambvu pyamangirwa pa gole ibodzi ene, pyonsene pinathabuka. Munjira ibodzi ene, kumanga banja kwa nyakukhulupira na nyakukhonda khulupira, mwakukhonda penula anadzathimbana na kukhonda kubverana. Khala m’bodzi wa m’banja asafuna kukhala mu ufuni wa Yahova na unango nkhabe kutsalakana pyenepi, pifuno pyawo mu umaso pinakhala pyakusiyana na panakwanisa kuoneka nyatwa zizinji pa banja. Natenepa, Paulu acenjeza Akristu kuti amange banja na “nkristu basi.”—1 Akorinto 7:39, MZ.

¹⁰ M’midzidzi inango, Akristu akukhonda kumanga banja afika pakulonga kuti ndi pyadidi kukhala pa gole yakusiyana mbuto mwakukhala akutsoperwa. Anango atonga kupwaza uphungu wa Bhibhlya, na amanga banja na munthu wakuti nkhabe kutumikira Yahova. Kazinji kene, pinacitika ndi pyakutsukwalisa. Anthu anewa asadzaona kuti amanga banja na munthu wakuti nkhabe kulonga naye pinthu pyakufunika mu umaso. Kutsoperwa kunafuna kudzabva iwo kunadzakhala kukulu kupiringana kukhabva iwo mbasati kumanga banja. Mwakukomeresa, pana Akristu azinji akukhonda kumanga banja akuti asanyindira na asaphatisira mwakukhulupirika uphungu wa Mulungu mu pinthu pyenepi. (Lerini Masalmo 32:8.) Ale ananyerezera pyakumanga banja, asapitiriza kukhala azice mpaka kugumana ndzawo wakumanga naye banja pakati pa alambiri a Yahova Mulungu.

11. Ndi ninji cinafuna kukuphedzani toera kusankhula mwandzeru nyakumanga naye banja? (Onanimbo bokosi  “Ndisasakanji Kwa Ndzanga Wa M’banja?“.)

 ¹¹ Mwandimomwene, si kulonga kuti ntumiki onsene wa Yahova ndi wakuthema kumanga naye banja tayu. Khala musanyerezera kumanga banja, sakani munthu wakuti uunthu wace, pifuno pyace pyauzimu na kufuna kwace Mulungu kusabverana na kwanu. M’bandazi wakukhulupirika na wandzeru asapereka ntsonga zizinji toera kudinga pinthu pyenepi. Mphyandzeru kudinga na phembero uphungu unoyu wa m’Malemba, mbumutawirisa kuti ukutsogolereni pakucita cisankhulo ceneci cakufunika. *—Lerini Masalmo 119:105.

12. Ndi nsambo upi wakumanga banja unacitwa m’madziko mazinji, na ndi citsandzo cipi ca m’Bhibhlya cinapereka citsogolero?

¹² M’madziko mazinji, mphyakudzolowereka anyakubala kusankhulira mwanawo ndzace wakumanga naye banja. Mphyakutawirika m’madziko anewa kuti anyakubala ali na udziwisi ukulu na ndzeru zakucita cisankhulo ceneci. Mabanja anewa akusakirwa kazinji kene asapembera ninga m’midzidzi ya Bhibhlya. Citsandzo ca Abrahamu cakutuma nyabasa wace toera kasakira Isaaki nkazi ndi cadidi kwa anyakubala lero. Abrahamu nee asankhulira mwanace nkazi wakubuluka ku banja ya mbiri peno ya kobiri izinji. Mbuto mwace, iye awangisira toera kusakira Isaaki nkazi pakati pa anthu akuti akhalambira Yahova. *—Genesi 24:3, 67.

13-15. (a) N’dida unagumanika pa Misangani 24:27 unaphedza tani m’phale ananyerezera kumanga banja? (b) Kodi ntsikana anacitanji kuti akhale wakukhunganyika toera kumanga banja?

¹³ Khala musanyerezera kakamwe pyakumanga banja,  mphyadidi kubvundzika: ‘Kodi ndiri wakukhunganyika?’ Kukhunganyika nee kusabveka mabvero anu akufuna kupita m’mabonde, ufuni, uxamwali peno kubala ana. Mbuto mwace, pana pinthu pyakuti amuna na akazi onsene anafuna kumanga banja asafunika kupinyerezera.

¹⁴ M’phale anasaka nkazi asafunika kunyerezera mwacidikhodikho n’dida uyu: ‘Cita malonda ako mu nzinda mbusasanya pyonsene pa munda pako, pa kumalisa usasanye nyumba yako.’ (Misangani 24:27) Kodi pyenepi pisagomezeranji? Mu ntsiku zenezire, mamuna angafuna kumanga banja, iye akhafunika kubvundzika: ‘Kodi ndiri wakukhunganyika toera kutsalakana na kutsidzikiza nkazi pabodzi na anapiana akuti panango tinadzakhala nawo mu kupita kwa ndzidzi?’ Pakutoma, iye akhafunika kuti aphate basa, atsalakane minda peno misapo yace. N’dida ubodzi ene usaphatisirwa lero. Mamuna anafuna kumanga banja asafunika kukhunganyika toera akwanirise basa yace pa banja. Munakula iye, asafunika kuphata basa. Mafala a Mulungu asalonga kuti mamuna anakhonda kutsalakana pyakufunika pyakumanungo, pyamanyerezero na pyauzimu pya banja yace ndi wakuipa kakamwe kupiringana nyakusowa cikhulupiro!—Lerini 1 Timoti 5:8.

¹⁵ Nkazi anatonga kumanga banja asafunikambo kukhunganyika toera kucita mabasa mazinji. Bhibhlya isalonga pya maluso na makhaliro mangasi akuti panango nkazi asafunika kukhala nawo munaphedza iye mamunace na munatsalakana iye nyumba yace. (Misangani 31:10-31) Amuna na akazi anathamangira kumanga banja mbadzati kukhunganyika toera kukwanirisa mabasa a m’banja ndi akucenama, thangwi nee asanyerezera pinafunika iwo kupasa ndzawo wa m’banja. Mbwenye, kupiringana pyonsene, ale ananyerezera kumanga banja asafunika akhunganyike mwauzimu.

16, 17. Kodi ale anafuna kumanga banja asafunika kunyerezera mwacidikhodikho midida ipi ya Malemba?

¹⁶ Kukhunganyika toera kumanga banja kusaphataniza kunyerezera  mwacidikhodikho basa idapasa Mulungu mamuna na nkazi. Mamuna asafunika kudziwa kuti basa ineyi isabveka kukhala nsolo wa banja Yacikristu. Basa ineyi si phaso toera kucita pinthu mwausumankha tayu. Mbuto mwace, iye asafunika kusangizira njira inaphatisira Yezu utsogoleri. (Aefesi 5:23) Munjira ibodzi ene, nkazi Wacikristu asafunika kudziwa basa yace yakulemedzeka. Kodi iye anadzangonjera mwakufuna ‘mwambo wa mamunace’? (Aroma 7:2) Iye ali kale pantsi pa mwambo wa Yahova na wa Kristu. (Agalata 6:2) Utongi wa mamunace pa banja usaimirira mwambo unango. Kodi nkazi anakwanisa kukhala wakuphedzera na wakungonjera ku utongi wa mamuna wakusowa ungwiro? Iye angaona kuti nee anakwanisa kucita pyenepi, asafunika kucalira kumanga banja.

¹⁷ Kusiyapo pyenepi, anyakumanga banja onsene asafunika kukhala akukhunganyika toera kutsalakana pyakufuna pyakupambulika pya unango. (Lerini Afilipi 2:4.) Paulu alemba: ‘Mwa imwe munthu afune nkazace ninga iye ene. Nkazi alemedze mamunace.’ Mu kupumirwa na Mulungu, Paulu adziwa kuti mamuna asafunika kuti alemedzwe na nkazace. Na nkazi asafunikambo kupibva kuti asafuniwa na mamunace.—Aefesi 5:21-33.

18. Thangwi yanji anyakufuna kumanga banja asafunika kukhala akudzitonga mu ndzidzi wakubvundzirana?

¹⁸ Natenepa, kubvundzirana si ndzidzi wakusendzeka basi tayu. Ndi ndzidzi kwa mamuna na nkazi kupfundza kuti anatsalakanana tani mwakuthema unango na ndzace, kuona khala kumanga banja kunadzakhala kusankhula kwadidi peno nkhabe. Pontho, unoyu ndi ndzidzi wa kudzitonga! Mayesero akugwa maya anakwanisa kukhala akuwanga kakamwe, mwandimomwene, kupibva tenepa ndi kwacibaliro. Mbwenye, ale akuti asafunanadi unango na ndzace anadzacalira kucita pinthu pyakuti pinaikha pangozwi uxamwali wa unango na Mulungu. (1 Atesalonika 4:6) Natenepa, khala mukubvundzira, khalani akudzitonga; imwe munaphindula na n’khaliro unoyu mu umaso wanu onsene, khala munamanga banja peno nkhabe.

19, 20. Kodi maonero a Nkristu thangwi yakumanga banja asafunika kusiyana tani na a anthu azinji a dziko ya lero? Perekani citsandzo.

¹⁹ Khala anyakumanga banja asafuna kuti banja yawo ikhale yakuwanga, iwo asafunika kukhala na maonero adidi a phangano. Manovela na mafilimu, kazinji kene asapangiza mamalisiro adidi a banja akuti anthu asaafuna kakamwe. Mwandimomwene, mu umaso wa ntsiku na ntsiku, kumanga banja si mamalisiro tayu; ndi matomero acibverano cidacita Yahova toera cikhale kwenda na kwenda. (Genesi 2:24) Mwakutsukwalisa, anewa si maonero akudziwika konsene kwene tayu mu dziko ya lero. Anthu anango asalonga banja ninga “kumanga pfundo.” Iwo panango nkhabe dziwa mwadidi kuti nsangani unoyu usafokotoza mwakulinganira maonero a banja anadziwika konsene kwene. Munjira ipi? Nakuti pfundo yadidi isamangwa mu ndzidzi unafunika iyo, cinthu cinango cakufunika ndi kumanga pfundo yakuti inakwanisa kumangwa na kusudzulwa mwakukhonda nentsa.

²⁰ Azinji lero asaona banja ninga ya ndzidzi wakucepa. Iwo asafuna kumanga banja mwakucimbiza thangwi asanyerezera kuti inadzakwanirisa pyakufuna pyawo, mbadikhira kumalisa banja pangaoneka pinentso. Natenepa, kumbukani nsangani unaphatisirwa m’Bhibhlya thangwi ya uxamwali wakumanga banja—nkhambala. Nkhambala zinamangirira xitima ya m’madzi zisacitwa toera zikhale kwenda na kwenda, ngakhale mu ndzidzi wa condzi cikulu. Munjira ibodzi ene, banja yacitwa toera ikhale kwenda na kwenda. Kumbukani, Yezu alonga: “Pidagumanya Mulungu munthu aleke kupimwaza.” (Mateo 19:6) Khala mwamanga banja musafunika kukhala na maonero mabodzi ene. Kodi ntundu unoyu waphangano usacitisa kumanga banja kukhala kwakunentsa? Nkhabe.

21. Kodi mamuna na nkazi asafunika kukhala na maonero api kwa unango na ndzace, na ndi ninji pinafuna kuaphedza kucita pyenepi?

²¹ Mamuna na nkazi asafunika kukhala na maonero adidi kwa unango na ndzace. M’bodzi na m’bodzi angawangisira kuona  makhaliro adidi na kuwangisa kwa unango, banja inadzakhala ncera wa citsandzayo na cithondozo. Kodi mphyakukwanisika kuona makhaliro adidi a ndzanu wa m’banja wakusowa ungwiro? Yahova nkhabe kutiphemba toera ticite pinthu pyakuti nee tinapikwanisa, natenepa mphyakufunika kwa ife kudziwa kuti iye ali na maonero adidi kwa ife. Nyamasalmo abvundza: ‘Yahova, mbamudakoya madawo athu, mbani anakhalikira mungatonga miseru?’ (Masalmo 130:3) Amuna na akazi asafunika kukhala na maonero mabodzi ene na kulekererana unango na ndzace.—Lerini Akolose 3:13.

22, 23. Kodi Abrahamu na Sara apereka tani citsandzo cadidi kwa anthu akumanga banja lero?

 ²² Banja inakwanisa kubweresa kutsandzaya na maphindu mazinji mu kupita kwa pyaka. Bhibhlya isalonga pya banja ya Abrahamu na Sara mukhali iwo akugwesera. Umaso wawo nee ukhali wakusowa nyatwa peno pinentso. Nyerezerani kuti pikhali tani kwa Sara, nkazi wakuti panango akhali na pyaka 60 pyakubalwa, kusiya nyumba yace yadidi mu nzinda wakukhupuka wa Uri mbaenda kakhala m’misasa mu umaso wace onsene. Ngakhale tenepa, iye angonjera utsogoleri wa mamunace. Ninga ndzace wandimomwene na mphedzi wa Abrahamu, Sara acitisa kuti pisankhulo pya mamunace pikwanirisike. Kungonjera kwace nee kukhali kwaciphamaso tayu. Ngakhale iye “ekha-ekha,” akhalonga mamunace ninga mbuyace. (Genesi 18:12; 1 Pedro 3:6) Cilemedzo cace kwa Abrahamu cikhabulukira muntima.

²³ Mwandimomwene, pyenepi nee pisabveka kuti ndzidzi onsene Abrahamu na Sara akhaona pinthu munjira ibodzi ene. Ntsiku inango, Sara akhali na maonero akuti “atsukwalisa pikulu” Abrahamu. Ngakhale tenepa, na citsogolero ca Yahova, mwakucepeseka Abrahamu abvera fala ya nkazace, yakuti yacitisa kuti banja idzakhale na nkhombo. (Genesi 21:9-13) Amuna na akazi lero, ngakhale ale akuti ali m’banja pyaka pizinji, anapfundza pizinji kubulukira ku banja ineyi yakulemedza Mulungu.

24. Ndi ntundu upi wa mabanja unalemedza Yahova Mulungu, na thangwi yanji?

²⁴ M’mpingo Wacikristu, muli na mabanja mazinji akutsandzaya, mabanja akuti nkazi asalemedza mamunace, mamuna asafuna na asalemedza nkazace, pontho muwiri mwawo asawangisira toera kuikha cifuno ca Yahova pa mbuto yakutoma mu umaso wawo. Khala mwatonga kumanga banja, sankhulani mwandzeru ndzanu wakumanga naye banja, khunganyikani mwadidi, na wangisirani kukhala wantendere, thangwi banja ya ufuni isalemedza Yahova Mulungu. Munjira ineyi, banja yanu inadzakuphedzani kukhala mu ufuni wa Mulungu.