1. Kodi Baibulo limachifotokoza bwanji chikondi chenicheni?

 “KUYAKA [kwa chikondi] kuli ngati kuyaka kwa moto. Chikondicho ndi lawi la Ya. Madzi ambiri sangathe kuzimitsa chikondi, ndipo mitsinje singachikokolole.” b (Nyimbo 8:6, 7) Mawu amenewa akufotokozatu bwino kwambiri zokhudza chikondi chenicheni. Akufotokoza mfundo yolimbikitsa kwa anthu okwatirana, yakuti angathe kumakondana kwambiri.

2. Kodi anthu okwatirana ayenera kuchita chiyani kuti chikondi chawo chisachepe?

² Anthu okwatirana amafunika kuchita khama kuti azikondana kwa moyo wawo wonse. Mwachitsanzo, moto ukhoza kuyaka mpaka kalekale ngati ukusonkhezeredwa. Kupanda kutero ukhoza kuzima. Mofanana ndi zimenezi, chikondi cha pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi chingakhalebe cholimba ngati akuyesetsa kuchilimbitsa. Nthawi zina anthu okwatirana angamaone kuti chikondi chawo chikuchepa, makamaka pamene akulimbana ndi mavuto a zachuma, matenda kapenanso udindo wolera ana. Choncho ngati muli pabanja, kodi mungatani kuti musazimitse “lawi la Ya” m’banja lanu? Munkhaniyi, tikambirana njira zitatu zimene zingathandize kuti muzikondana kwambiri komanso mukhale ndi banja losangalala. c

3. Kodi kukhala pa ubwenzi wolimba ndi Yehova kumathandiza bwanji anthu okwatirana kuti azikondana kwambiri? (Mlaliki 4:12) (Onaninso chithunzi.)

³ Kuti asazimitse “lawi la Ya,” onse, mwamuna ndi mkazi ayenera kuyesetsa kulimbitsa ubwenzi wawo ndi Yehova. Kodi zimenezi zimathandiza bwanji banja lawo? Anthu okwatirana akamaona kuti ubwenzi wawo ndi Atate wawo wakumwamba ndi wofunika kwambiri, amakhala okonzeka kutsatira malangizo ake, zimene zimawathandiza kupewa komanso kulimbana ndi mavuto omwe angachititse kuti chikondi chawo chichepe. (Werengani Mlaliki 4:12.) Anthu omwe ali pa ubwenzi ndi Yehova amayesetsa kumutsanzira ndipo amakhala ndi makhalidwe monga kukoma mtima, kuleza mtima komanso kukhululuka. (Aef. 4:32–5:1) Anthu okwatirana omwe amasonyeza makhalidwewa siziwavuta kuti azikondana kwambiri. Mlongo wina dzina lake Lena, yemwe wakhala pabanja kwa zaka zoposa 25, anati: “Zimakhala zosavuta kukonda komanso kulemekeza munthu yemwe amakonda Yehova.”

4. N’chifukwa chiyani Yehova anasankha Yosefe ndi Mariya kuti adzakhale makolo a Mesiya?

⁴ Taganizirani chitsanzo cha m’Baibulo. Pa anthu ambirimbiri a m’banja la Davide, Yehova anasankha Yosefe ndi Mariya kuti adzakhale makolo a Mesiya. Chifukwa chiyani? Awiri onsewa anali pa ubwenzi wolimba ndi Yehova, ndipo iye ankadziwa kuti iwo adzakhala ndi banja labwino chifukwa chomukonda. Anthu okwatirana, kodi mungaphunzire chiyani kwa Yosefe ndi Mariya?

5. Kodi amuna angaphunzire chiyani kwa Yosefe?

⁵ Yosefe ankakhala wokonzeka kutsatira malangizo a Yehova ndipo izi zinachititsa kuti akhale mwamuna wabwino. Pa nthawi zosachepera zitatu, analandira malangizo ochokera kwa Mulungu okhudza banja lake. Pa nthawi zonsezi ankamvera ndi mtima wonse, ngakhale pamene zinali zovuta kutero. (Mat. 1:20, 24; 2:13-15, 19-21) Chifukwa chotsatira malangizo a Mulungu, Yosefe anateteza, kuthandiza komanso kusamalira Mariya. Taganizirani mmene zochita za Yosefe zinathandizira Mariya kuti azimukonda komanso azimulemekeza kwambiri. Amuna, mungatsanzire Yosefe pofufuza ndi kutsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo okhudza mmene mungasamalire banja lanu. d Mukamatsatira malangizowa, ngakhale kuti mungafunike kusintha zinthu zina, mumasonyeza kuti mumakonda mkazi wanu komanso mumalimbitsa banja lanu. Mlongo wina wa ku Vanuatu, yemwe wakhala pabanja kwa zaka zoposa 20, anati: “Mwamuna wanga akamafufuza komanso kutsatira malangizo a Yehova, ndimamulemekeza kwambiri. Ndimadzimva kukhala wotetezeka komanso sindikayikira zimene wasankha.”

6. Kodi akazi angaphunzire chiyani kwa Mariya?

⁶ Payekha, Mariya anali pa ubwenzi wabwino ndi Yehova, ndipo chikhulupiriro chake sichinkadalira pa zimene Yosefe ankachita. Iye ankadziwa bwino Malemba. Ankapezanso nthawi yoganizira zimene ankaphunzira. (Luka 2:19, 51) Mosakayikira, kukhala pa ubwenzi wolimba ndi Yehova kunachititsa Mariya kukhala mkazi wabwino kwambiri. Masiku anonso akazi ambiri amayesetsa kutsanzira Mariya. Mwachitsanzo, mlongo wina dzina lake Emiko ananena kuti: “Ndisanakwatiwe, nthawi zonse ndinkachita zinthu zokhudza kulambira. Koma nditakwatiwa, ndinazindikira kuti chikhulupiriro changa chinkangodalira pa zimene mwamuna wanga ankachita, chifukwa iye ndi amene ankapemphera komanso kutsogolera pa zinthu zokhudza kulambira. Ndinaona kuti ndiyenera kumayesetsa pandekha kuti ndizilimbitsa ubwenzi wanga ndi Yehova. Choncho panopa ndimapeza nthawi kuti ndizikhala pandekha ndi Mulungu wanga, kupemphera, kuwerenga Malemba komanso kuganizira zomwe ndawerengazo.” (Agal. 6:5) Akazinu, mukamapitiriza kulimbitsa ubwenzi wanu ndi Yehova, amuna anu adzakhala ndi zifukwa zambiri zokutamandani ndiponso kukukondani.​—Miy. 31:30.

7. Kodi mwamuna ndi mkazi wake angaphunzire chiyani kwa Yosefe ndi Mariya pa nkhani yolambirira limodzi?

⁷ Yosefe ndi Mariya ankachitira zinthu limodzi kuti ubwenzi wawo ndi Yehova ukhalebe wolimba. Iwo ankamvetsa kufunika kolambirira limodzi Yehova monga banja. (Luka 2:22-24, 41; 4:16) Ziyenera kuti zinali zovuta kuchita zimenezi makamaka pamene banja lawo linkakula, komabe anakwanitsa. Chimenechitu ndi chitsanzo chabwino kwambiri kwa anthu okwatirana masiku ano. Ngati muli ndi ana ngati mmene Yosefe ndi Mariya analili, nthawi zina zingakhale zovuta kupezeka pamisonkhano kapena kupeza nthawi yochita Kulambira kwa Pabanja. Zingakhalenso zovuta kuti muzipeza nthawi yophunzira kapena kupemphera limodzi monga banja. Komabe muzikumbukira kuti mukamalambira limodzi Yehova, mumakhala naye pa ubwenzi wolimba komanso inuyo mumagwirizana kwambiri. Choncho kulambira kuzikhala pamalo oyamba m’banja mwanu.

8. Kodi anthu amene m’banja mwawo muli mavuto, angatani kuti azipindula mokwanira ndi Kulambira kwa Pabanja?

⁸ Koma bwanji ngati mukukumana ndi mavuto m’banja mwanu? Zimenezi zingachititse kuti kuchita limodzi Kulambira kwa Pabanja kusamakhale kosangalatsa. Ngati ndi choncho, mungayambe ndi kukambirana kuti muchite zinazake zomwe ndi zosatenga nthawi yaitali, komanso zimene nonse mungasangalale nazo. Kuchita zimenezi kungathandize kuti muzikondana kwambiri ndiponso muzifunitsitsa kuchita limodzi zinthu zokhudza kulambira.

9. N’chifukwa chiyani mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ayenera kumapeza nthawi yocheza?

⁹ Ngati muli pabanja, mungakulitsenso chikondi chanu mukamapeza nthawi yocheza. Kuchita zimenezi kungakuthandizeni kudziwa mmene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amaganizira ndiponso mmene amamvera. Taonani zimene Lilia ndi Ruslan anazindikira atangokwatirana kumene zaka zoposa 15 zapitazo. Lilia anati: “Tinazindikira kuti sitizikhala ndi nthawi yambiri tili limodzi ngati mmene tinkaganizira. Tinkatanganidwa ndi ntchito, kusamalira pakhomo ndipo pambuyo pake tinayambanso kutanganidwa ndi kulera ana. Tinaona kuti ngati sitizipeza nthawi yocheza monga banja, chikondi chathu chikhoza kuchepa.”

10. Kodi anthu okwatirana angagwiritse ntchito bwanji mfundo ya pa Aefeso 5:15, 16?

¹⁰ Kodi anthu okwatirana angatani kuti azipeza nthawi yocheza? Ayenera kumakonza nthawi yoti azichitira zinthu limodzi. (Werengani Aefeso 5:15, 16.) M’bale wina wa ku Nigeria dzina lake Uzondu, anati: “Ndikamakonza ndandanda ya zinthu zomwe ndikufuna kuchita, ndimaphatikizapo nthawi yochita zinthu ndi mkazi wanga monga banja, ndipo ndimaonetsetsa kuti ili pamalo oyamba.” (Afil. 1:10) Taonani zimene Anastasia, yemwe ndi mkazi wa woyang’anira dera wina wa ku Moldova amachita kuti azigwiritsa ntchito bwino nthawi yake. Iye anati: “Ndimayesetsa kuchitiratu zinthu zanga pamene mwamuna wanga watanganidwa ndi ntchito zina. Zimenezi zimathandiza kuti pambuyo pake tizipeza nthawi yochitira zinthu limodzi.” Koma bwanji ngati mumatanganidwa kwambiri, moti zimakhala zovuta kuti mupeze nthawi yochitira zinthu limodzi?

11. Kodi ndi zinthu ziti zomwe Akula ndi Purisika ankachitira limodzi?

¹¹ Anthu okwatirana angaphunzire pa chitsanzo cha Akula ndi Purisika, limene ndi banja lomwe Akhristu ambiri oyambirira ankalilemekeza. (Aroma 16:3, 4) N’zoona kuti Baibulo silifotokoza zambiri zokhudza banja lawo, koma limasonyeza kuti ankalalikira, kuthandiza ena komanso kugwira ntchito limodzi. (Mac. 18:2, 3, 24-26) Ndipotu nthawi zonse Baibulo likamanena za Akula ndi Purisika, limawatchulira limodzi.

12. Kodi mwamuna ndi mkazi wake angatani kuti azipeza nthawi yambiri yochitira zinthu limodzi? (Onaninso chithunzi.)

¹² Kodi anthu okwatirana angatsanzire bwanji Akula ndi Purisika? Taganizirani zinthu zambiri zimene inuyo monga mwamuna kapena mkazi, mumafunika kuchita. Kodi n’zotheka kuti muzichitira limodzi zina mwa zinthu zimenezi monga banja, osati aliyense payekha? Mwachitsanzo, Akula ndi Purisika ankalalikira limodzi. Kodi inunso nthawi zambiri mumakonza zoti muzilalikira limodzi? Akula ndi Purisika ankagwiranso ntchito limodzi. Mwina inuyo ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu simugwira ntchito yofanana, koma kodi mungamagwire limodzi ntchito zapakhomo? (Mlal. 4:9) Mukamathandizana ntchito inayake, mumagwirizana kwambiri ndiponso mumapeza mpata wocheza. A Robert ndi a Linda akhala m’banja kwa zaka zoposa 50. A Robert anati: “Kunena zoona, sitipeza nthawi yambiri yochitira limodzi zinthu zosangalatsa. Koma ndikamatsuka mbale, mkazi wanga n’kumapukuta kapena ndikamalima panja, iye n’kubwera kudzandithandiza, ndimasangalala kwambiri. Kuchitira zinthu limodzi kumatithandiza kuti tizikhala ogwirizana ndipo chikondi chathu chimapitiriza kukula.”

13. Kodi mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ayenera kuchita chiyani kuti azigwirizana kwambiri?

¹³ Komabe, muzikumbukira kuti kungokhala limodzi, sikutanthauza kuti nthawi zonse muzichita zinthu mogwirizana. Mayi wina wa pabanja ku Brazil ananena kuti: “Masiku ano, pali zinthu zambiri zosokoneza, moti ndaona kuti tikhoza kugwera mumsampha womaganiza kuti timachitira zinthu limodzi chabe chifukwa choti timakhala nyumba imodzi. Ndaphunzira kuti kuwonjezera pa kukhala limodzi, timafunikiranso kumachita chidwi ndi mnzathuyo.” Taonani zimene Bruno ndi mkazi wake Tays amachita kuti aliyense azichita chidwi ndi mnzake. Iye anati: “Pa nthawi yathu yocheza, timaika patali mafoni athu n’kumangocheza basi.”

14. Kodi anthu okwatirana angatani ngati sasangalala kuchitira zinthu limodzi?

¹⁴ Koma bwanji ngati inuyo ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu simusangalala kuchitira zinthu limodzi? Mwina mumakonda zinthu zosiyana kapenanso mumangokhalira kuyambana, ndiye kodi mungatani? Taganizirani za moto, womwe tinautchula kumayambiriro kuja. Motowu sumangofikira kuyaka mwamphamvu. Umafunika kusonkhezera pang’onopang’ono, kenako n’kumaika nkhuni zazikulu. Mofanana ndi zimenezi, bwanji osayamba ndi kumapeza nthawi yochepa tsiku lililonse yochitira zinthu limodzi? Muzionetsetsa kuti muzichita zinthu zomwe nonse mumasangalala nazo, osati zimene zingachititse kuti muyambe kukangana. (Yak. 3:18) Kuyamba mwapang’onopang’ono kungathandize kuti mukulitse chikondi chanu.

15. N’chifukwa chiyani kulemekezana n’kofunika kuti okwatirana apitirize kukondana?

¹⁵ Kulemekezana n’kofunika kwambiri m’banja. Tingakuyerekezere ndi mpweya, womwe umathandiza kuti moto uziyaka kwambiri. Popanda mpweyawu, moto ukhoza kuzima mofulumira. Mofanana ndi zimenezi, ngati anthu okwatirana sakulemekezana, chikondi chawo chikhoza kuchepa mofulumira. Koma mwamuna ndi mkazi wake akamayesetsa kuti azilemekezana, zimathandiza kuti chikondi chawo chizikula. Muzikumbukira kuti si nkhani yongoti inuyo mumaganiza kuti mumalemekeza mnzanuyo koma kuti iyeyo aziona kuti mumamulemekeza. Penny ndi Aret, akhala ali m’banja kwa zaka zoposa 25. Penny anati: “Zinthu zimayenda bwino kwambiri m’banja lathu chifukwa choti timalemekezana. Timakhala omasuka kufotokoza mmene tikumvera chifukwa aliyense amalemekeza maganizo a mnzake.” Ndiye kodi mungatani kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu aziona kuti mumamulemekeza? Tiyeni tiganizire chitsanzo cha Abulahamu ndi Sara.

16. Kodi amuna angaphunzire chiyani pa chitsanzo cha Abulahamu? (1 Petulo 3:7) (Onaninso chithunzi.)

¹⁶ Abulahamu ankalemekeza mkazi wake Sara. Iye ankamvetsera maganizo ake komanso kulemekeza mmene ankamvera. Pa nthawi ina, Sara anakhumudwa kwambiri mpaka ankaimba mlandu Abulahamu kuti ndi amene anachititsa vuto limene anakumana nalo. Kodi Abulahamu anakwiya n’kulankhula zosayenera? Ayi, iye ankadziwa kuti Sara anali mkazi wogonjera komanso ankamuthandiza kwambiri. Abulahamu anamumvetsera ndipo anayesetsa kuthetsa vutolo. (Gen. 16:5, 6) Ndiye kodi tikuphunzirapo chiyani? Amuna, muli ndi udindo wosankha zochita pa nkhani zokhudza banja lanu. (1 Akor. 11:3) Komabe, mungasonyeze chikondi ngati mutamvetsera maganizo a mkazi wanu musanasankhe zochita, makamaka pa nkhani zimene zingamukhudze. (1 Akor. 13:4, 5) Nthawi zina, mkazi wanu angakhumudwe ndipo mwina angafune kukufotokozerani mmene akumvera. Kodi mumalemekeza mmene akumvera pomumvetsera mwatcheru? (Werengani 1 Petulo 3:7.) Angela ndi Dmitry, akhala ali m’banja kwa zaka pafupifupi 30. Angela anafotokoza mmene mwamuna wake amachitira zinthu m’njira yosonyeza kuti amamulemekeza, ndipo anati: “Nthawi zonse mwamuna wanga amakhala wokonzeka kundimvetsera ndikakhumudwa kapenanso pamene ndikungofuna kulankhula naye. Iye amaleza nane mtima ngakhale pamene ndikulephera kulankhula modekha.”

17. Kodi akazi angaphunzire chiyani pa chitsanzo cha Sara? (1 Petulo 3:5, 6)

¹⁷ Sara ankalemekeza Abulahamu pogwirizana ndi zimene wasankha. (Gen. 12:5) Pa nthawi ina, Abulahamu ankafuna kuchereza alendo omwe anafika kunyumba kwawo mwadzidzidzi. Iye anapempha Sara kuti asiye kaye zomwe ankachita, n’kukonza makeke ambiri. (Gen. 18:6) Sara anachitapo kanthu mwansanga pochita zimene Abulahamu anamupempha. Akazi, mungatsanzire Sara pogwirizana ndi zimene amuna anu asankha. Mukamachita zimenezi, mumalimbitsa banja lanu. (Werengani 1 Petulo 3:5, 6.) Dmitry yemwe tamutchula mundime yapita ija, anafotokoza mmene zochita za mkazi wake zimasonyezera kuti amamulemekeza. Iye anati: “Ndimayamikira zimene Angela amachita pogwirizana ndi zomwe ndasankha, ngakhale pamene ali ndi maganizo osiyana ndi anga. Ndipo zikakhala kuti zinthu sizinayende bwino, iye samandinyoza.” Izitu zikusonyeza kuti zimakhala zosavuta kukonda munthu yemwe amakulemekeza.

18. Kodi anthu okwatirana angapindule bwanji ngati atamayesetsa kuti chikondi chawo chisathe?

¹⁸ Masiku ano, Satana amafuna kuzimitsa chikondi chomwe chimapezeka m’mabanja a Chikhristu. Iye amadziwa kuti ngati anthu okwatirana asiya kukondana, angasiyenso kukonda Yehova. Komabe, chikondi chenicheni sichingazimitsidwe. Choncho, yesetsani kuti chikondi m’banja lanu chizikhala ngati chomwe chafotokozedwa m’buku la Nyimbo ya Solomo. Khalani otsimikiza kuti muziika Yehova pamalo oyamba m’banja lanu, muzipeza nthawi yochitira zinthu limodzi komanso muzilemekeza zofuna za mnzanuyo ndiponso mmene amamvera. Mukamachita zimenezi, banja lanu lidzalemekeza Yehova, yemwe ndi Mwiniwake wa chikondi chenicheni. Ndipo mofanana ndi moto wosonkhezeredwa bwino, chikondi chanu chidzapitiriza kuyaka mpaka kalekale.