1-2. Gurhi bantu baguma na baguma baciyumva lugenda akasanzi k’okushebana?

 AKASANZI k’okushebana kanaba kasanzi kinja na ka kushagalusa. Akaba oli washeba erhi oli washebwa, buzira karhinda olonzize oshagalukire ako kasanzi. Na bantu banji bali bashebana banakashagalukire. Tsion, a mwali wirhu muguma w’omu Ethiopie, adesire ntya: “Kasanzi kaguma k’omu rhusanzi nabire n’omwishingo munji omu kalamo kani, kali kasanzi nie n’ibanie rhwakag’ishebana. Rhwakag’iganirira ebintu by’obulagirire bwenene rhwanakag’isheka. Nashagaluka erhi mpugûkwa oku napatire omuntu nsimire onansimire.”

² Cikone Alessio, mwene wirhu muguma w’e Pays-Bas, adesire ntya: “Byali bya kushagalusa amango nie na mukanie rhwakag’ilonza okumanyana, cikone amango g’okushebana nago gal’igwerhe amazibu.” Mw’eci cigabi, rhwaganirira mazibu malebe abantu babirhi bali bashebana bakaba nago na makanuni malebe g’Ebibliya gakabarhabala lyo bashebana omu njira y’okulerhera Yehova obukuze. Kandi rhwaganirira gurhi abandi omu cigamba bakarhabalamwo abali bashebana.

OMUHIGO GW’OKUSHEBANA

3. Omuhigo gw’okushebana guba guhi? (Emigani 20:25)

³ Ciru akaba akasanzi k’okushebana kanaba ka mwishingo, kandi kali kasanzi k’obulagirire kakabahisa oku buhya. Olusiku lw’obuhya bwabo, omulume n’omunyere banajire eciragane embere za Yehova c’okuzigirana n’okukengana omu kalamo kabo koshi. Embere z’okujira eciragane coshi-coshi, rhushinganine rhucirhanyeko bwenene.  (Osome Emigani 20:25.) Kobinali ntyo lugenda eciragane c’obuhya. Amango g’okushebana ganahashise omulume n’omunyere bamanyane bwinja lyo barhôla omuhigo mwinja. Hali amango ogo muhigo gwakaba gwa kuja omu buhya; agandi mango gwanaba gwa kulekana. Erhi omulume n’omunyere bakalekana, oko kurhali kuderha oku bajijire kubi. Lubero n’oko, oko kushebana kwabo kwahikirizize omuhigo gwako, ko kuderha oku kwabarhabire bahikire okurhôla omuhigo mwinja.

4. Bulya gurhi rhushinganine rhube n’entanya nyinja lugenda okushebana?

⁴ Bulya gurhi kuli kwa bulagirire okuba n’entanya nyinja lugenda okushebana? Erhi omuntu ociri mulamba akaba agwerhe entanya nyinja, arhakarhondera asheba muntu mulebe arhanagwerhi omuhigo gw’okumurhôla. Cikone, arhali abalamba bone bashinganine babe n’entanya nyinja. Rhweshi rhushinganine rhube n’entanya nyinja. Kwa lwiganyo, baguma na baguma banarhanye oku amango omulume n’omunyere bali bashebana, bagwasirwe baje omu buhya. Malehe gahi oko kwakalerhera Abakristu baciri balamba? Melissa, mwali wirhu muguma w’e États-Unis, adesire ntya: “Abakristu bali bashebana banakaciyumva basezibwe bwenene oku barhôlane. Enyanya z’oko, Bakristu baguma na baguma bali bashebana banayabirwe okulekana n’obo barhapatini. Abandi Bakristu baciri balamba banayake okusheba loshi-loshi. Oko kusezibwa kwanarhuma baciyumva bazidohirwe.”

MUHIKIRE OKUMANYANA BWINJA

5-6. Bici abantu babirhi bali bashebana bashinganine bacihangane okumanya lugenda muguma n’owabo? (1 Petro 3:4)

⁵ Erhi akaba muli mwashebana, bici byakamurhabala lyo muhiga erhi mwarhôlana erhi nanga? Muhikire okumanyana bwinja. Wanaba wamanyire bintu bilebe lugenda owundi embere murhondeze obwîra. Cikone lero okola ogwerhe obulyo bw’okumanya ‘endubi y’omurhima.’ (Osome 1 Petro 3:4.) Oko kuhiziremwo okumanya binji lugenda ehali y’ekiroho, obumuntu, n’entanya z’omuntu olonzize okurhôlana naye. Enyuma za kasanzi kalebe, oshinganine obe n’obuhashe bw’okushuza oku madoso nka: ‘K’oyu muntu aba mulume erhi mukazi mwinja kuli nie?’ (Mig. 31:​26, 27, 30; Ef. 5:33; 1 Tm. 5:8) ‘Ka ngasi muguma ahasha okuhikiriza amalagirire g’owabo g’ekandalala? Ka ngasi muntu ahasha okulembera obuzamba bw’owundi?’ b (Rm. 3:23) Amango muli mwalonza okumanyana, mukengere ntya:  Okupatana kurhali kushushana, cikone buli buhashe bw’okucipatanisa n’ebirhumire waba lubero n’owundi.

⁶ Bindi bici oshinganine omanye lugenda owundi muntu amango muli mwashebana? Embere musimane bwenene, nkaba mwanalonza muganirire bintu biguma na biguma by’obulagirire, kwa lwiganyo emihigo ya ngasi muguma. Cikone gurhigi lugenda ebintu biyerekire ngasi muguma nk’amazibu g’amagala, amazibu g’ensaranga, erhi ebintu bibi byamuhikire omu kalamo? Arhali ebintu byoshi mwakaganirira oku murhondero gw’okushebana. (Oshushanye na Yowane 16:12.) Erhi wakaciyumva oku karhaciba kasanzi k’okushuza oku madoso maguma na maguma gakuyerekire bwenene, omanyise owinyu. Ciru akaba ntyo, enyuma za kasanzi kalebe, omuntu muli mwashebana naye anaba alagirire oku kumanya eyo myanzi ly’orhôla omuhigo mwinja. Co cirhumire, hali amango byahûna muganirire ebyo bintu buzira kufulikana akantu.

7. Gurhi abantu babirhi bali bashebana bakajira lyo bahikira okumanyana bwinja? (Olole n’ecisanduku cidesire “ Okushebana n’Omuntu Oli Kulî Bwenene.”) (Olole n’enfoto.)

⁷ Gurhi wakamanyamwo oku omuntu muli mwashebana naye ayosire ekandalala? Njira nguma y’omu njira nyinja wakajiramwo ntyo kuli kuganira n’obwalagale na buzira kufulika akantu, okudosa amadoso n’okuyumvirhiza bwinja. (Mig. 20:5; Yk. 1:19) Lyo mujira ntyo, kwanaba kwinja okujira ebintu haguma byakamurhabala muganire, kwa lwiganyo okulya haguma, okulambagira haguma aha nafasi y’abantu baji, n’okuhubiri haguma. Kandi okugeza akasanzi haguma n’abîra n’abantu b’omu mulala kwanamurhabala mumanyane. Na kandi, mupange bintu bilebe mwakajira haguma byakakurhabala okumanya gurhi omuntu muli mwashebana naye ajira omu kanga kali lubero na gurhi ajirira abantu bali lubero. Olole ebi Aschwin, w’omu Pays-Bas, acihanganyire okujira. Adesire ntya lugenda amango akag’ishebana na Alicia: “Rhwakag’ilonza emikolo rhwakajira haguma lyo rhumanyana. Kanji-kanji ebyo byali bintu bisungunu-ngunu nk’okudeka ebiryo haguma erhi okujira emikolo y’omu nyumpa haguma. Amango rhwakag’ijira ebyo bintu haguma, rhwakabona obuhashe bwa ngasi muguma n’obuzamba bwage.”

8. Bunguke buhi abantu bali bashebana bakaba nabo omu kuyiga haguma?

⁸ Kandi okuyiga emyanzi y’ekiroho haguma kwanamurhabala mumanyane. Erhi mwakarhôlana, mwanayish’iba mulagirire oku kasanzi k’okujira enterekêro y’omulala, lyo Mungu aba cigabi c’obulagirire omu buhya bwinyu. (Muh. 4:12) Co  cirhumire, mwanapanga akasanzi k’okuyiga haguma ene amango muli mwashebana. Okuderha okuli, abantu babirhi bali bashebana gurhaciba mulala, na mwene wirhu arhaciba cirhwe ca mwali wirhu. Ciru akaba ntyo, omu kuyiga haguma ngasi mango, ngasi muguma anamanya ehali y’ekiroho y’owabo. Max na Laysa, mulume na mukage b’omu États-Unis, babire n’obundi bunguke. Max adesire ntya: “Oku murhondero g’okushebana kwirhu, rhwarhondera okuyiga ebicapo biganirire emyanzi nk’okushebana, obuhya, n’akalamo k’omulala. Ebyo bicapo byarhuhashisa okuganirira bintu binji by’obulagirire byakabire bizibu okuganirira.”

EBINDI BINTU MWAKARHANYAKO

9. Bici abantu babirhi bali bashebana bakarhanyako lyo bahiga ndi babwira oku bali bashebana?

⁹ Ndi mwakabwira oku muli mwashebana? Mwembi mwe mwakahiga ndi mwabwira. Oku murhondero gw’obwîra bwinyu, nkaba mwanabwira bantu basungunu bone. (Mig. 17:27) Omu kujira ntyo, mwanayaka okusezibwa kurhali kwa bulagirire mpu lyo murhôla omuhigo duba-duba n’amadoso manji. Cikone, erhi akaba murhabwiziri omuntu yeshi-yeshi, nkaba mwanahikira aha mwakaciyegula mwembi mwene, enyanya z’okuyoboha oku abantu bamanya. Oko kuciyegula mwembi kwanamuhira omu murhego. Co cirhumire, kuli kwa bwenge okumanyisa abantu bakamuha amahano minja n’okumurhabala omu zindi njira. (Mig. 15:22) Kwa lwiganyo, mwanabwira bantu balebe b’omu mulala, abîra bakuzire kiroho, erhi abagula.

10. Bici abantu babirhi bali bashebana bakajira lyo bashebana omu njira y’obukenge? (Emigani 22:3)

¹⁰ Gurhi mwakashebana omu njira y’obukenge? Oku obuzigire bwinyu buli bwayushuka, ko mwanagendekera mwayegerana bwenene. Bici byakamurhabala lyo muyaka okujira ngasi kantu kakagayisa Yehova? (1 Kr. 6:18) Muyake enganîro zirhacîri, okuba haguma mwembi mwene, n’okunywa amamvu okurhalusire olugero. (Ef. 5:3) Ebyo bintu byanazusa irala libi n’okuzambanya omuhigo gwinyu gw’okujira ebintu bishinganine. Muganirire ngasi mango ebintu by’okucilanga mwakajira lyo mushebana omu njira y’obukenge. (Osome Emigani 22:3.) Olole ebyarhabire Dawit na Almaz b’omu cihugo c’e Ethiopie. Badesire ntya: “Rhwakag’igeza akasanzi haguma ahantu hali bantu banji erhi haguma n’abîra. Nta mango rhwabêzire rhwene omu mutuga erhi omu nyumpa. Oko kwarhurhabala okuyaka akanga kakarhuhizire omw’irhangulo.”

11. Bici abantu bali bashebana bakarhanyako lyo bahiga lugenda oku bayerekanamwo obuzigire?

¹¹ Gurhi lugenda okuyerekana obuzigire? Oku obwîra bwinyu buli bwagendekera, bimanyiso biguma na biguma by’obuzigire byanaba bishinganine. Cikone, erhi irala ly’okujira ecijiro c’obuhya lyakaba linji, kwanaba kuzibu okurhôla omuhigo gw’obwenge lugenda omuntu muli mwashebana naye. (Lwi. 1:2; 2:6) Kandi amango muli mwayerekana obuzigire, kwanaba kuzibu okucihasha mwananahikira okujira kantu kalebe kakagayisa Yehova. (Mig. 6:27) Co cirhumire, oku murhondero gw’obwîra bwinyu, muganirire emipaka mucihirireho, kushimbana n’amakanuni g’Ebibliya. c (1 Ts. 4:​3-7) Mwembi mwanacidosa ntya: ‘Aha rhulama, gurhi abantu barhanya lugenda okuyerekana kwirhu obuzigire? K’okuyerekana obuzigire kwanazukiza muguma erhi owundi irala libi?’

12. Bici abantu bali bashebana bashinganine bamanye lugenda amazibu n’okurhayumvikana amango bali bashebana?

¹² Gurhi mwakayusamwo amazibu n’okurhayumvikana? Gurhigi erhi akaba murhali mwayumvikana mango oku gandi? K’oko kwanayerekana oku murhapatini? Arhali bujayo; ngasi mulume n’omukazi hali amango babula okuyumvikana.  Obuhya bwinja buba bujijirwe na bantu babirhi bakakola haguma lyo bayusa amazibu bagwerhe g’okurhayumvikana. Co cirhumire, oku muli mwayusamwo amazibu ene kwanayerekana erhi obuhya bwinyu bwayish’iba bwinja erhi nanga. Mwembi mucidose ntya: ‘Ka rhwanaganirira amazibu rhunarhulirire n’omu njira y’obukenge? Ka ngasi muguma aba mubidu okuyemera amagosa gage n’okucihangana okujira empindulo? Ka ngasi muguma wirhu aba mubidu okuyemera entanya z’owundi, okuhûna obwonjo n’okubabalira?’ (Ef. 4:​31, 32) Lubero n’oko, erhi mwakakabula okuyumvikana ngasi mango erhi kuja kadali amango muli mwashebana, nkaba oko kurhakashanja enyuma z’okuja omu buhya. Erhi wakahugûkwa oku omuntu muli mwashebana naye arhali ye kushinganine, okulekana gwanaba go muhigo mwinja bwenene kuli mwembi. d

13. Bici byakarhabala abantu bali bashebana lyo bahiga kasanzi kanganaci bajira bali bashebana?

¹³ Kasanzi kanganaci mwakajira muli mwashebana? Okurhôla emihigo duba-duba kanji-kanji kunalerhe amazibu. (Mig. 21:5) Co cirhumire, mushinganine mube na kasanzi kanji k’okushebana lyo mumanyana bwinja. Cikone, murhashinganini mujire kasanzi kanji bwenene karhali ka bulagirire muli mwashebana. Kandi Ebibliya edesire ntya: “Okulangalira ehi omuntu arhahikakwo, kulîsibwa n’amagala.” (Mig. 13:12) Na kandi, oku mwagendekera mwashebana, ko kwakanagendekera kwaba kuzibu bwenene okuhagalika irala ly’okujira ecijiro c’obuhya. (1 Kr. 7:9) Ahali h’okusegeza obwenge oku kasanzi kamagera muli mwashebana, ngasi muguma anacidosa ntya: ‘Bici ncilagirireko okumanya okubiyerekire omuntu ndi nashebana naye lyo ntôla omuhigo?’

GURHI ABANDI BAKARHABALAMWO ABANTU BALI BASHEBANA?

14. Omu njira zihi abandi bakarhabalamwo abantu babirhi bali bashebana? (Olole n’enfoto.)

¹⁴ Erhi rhwakamanya mwene wirhu na mwali wirhu bali bashebana, gurhi rhwakabarhabalamwo? Rhwanabalalika rhushangire ebiryo haguma nabo, oku nterekêro y’omulala, erhi kucishagalusa haguma nabo. (Rm. 12:13) Omu hali za ntyo, banahikira okumanyana ciru bwenene. Ka balagirire oku mushongwe, oku nsaranga z’etransporo, erhi oku hantu bakaganirira ebibayerekire bombi bone? Erhi akaba ntyo, ka rhwanabaha oburhabale? (Gl. 6:10) Alicia, rhwaganiriraga embere, akengire ebi ye na Aschwin bashagalukire. Adesire ntya: “Rhwakag’ishagaluka bwenene erhi bene wirhu na bali birhu baguma na baguma bakarhubwizire rhubalambagirire amango rhwakag’iba rhulagirire oku hantu rhwakaba rhwene lyo  rhuganira, cikone arhali omu bwifulikwe.” Erhi bakakuhûna obe mushongwe, wanabona oku eyo eri nafasi nyinja y’okurhabala abîra bawe. Obe masu ly’orhabalekaga bo nnene loshi-loshi, cikone kandi ohugûkwe amango balagirire oku kasanzi n’ahantu bakaganirira bo nnene bufunda-funda.—Fl. 2:4.

15. Bindi bici abîra bakajira lyo barhabala abantu babirhi bali bashebana? (Emigani 12:18)

¹⁵ Kandi rhwanarhabala abali bashebana kugerera ebi rhushinganine rhuderhe erhi ebi rhurhashinganini rhuderhe. Hali amango byakahûna rhube n’oborhere bw’okucihasha lyo rhurhaderhaga akantu koshi-koshi. (Osome Emigani 12:18.) Kwa lwiganyo, hali amango rhwakaciyumva rhulonzize bwenene okumanyisa abandi oku lebe na lebe barhondire okushebana, cikone abo bali bashebana banaba balonzize bone bamanyise ogo mwanzi. Rhurhakwanini rhuje rhwajira enganîro zirhashinganini lugenda abantu babirhi bali bashebana erhi kuderha-derha kubi lugenda ebintu biyerekire akalamo kabo bo nnene. (Mig. 20:19; Rm. 14:10; 1 Ts. 4:11) Kandi rhurhashinganini rhuderhe enderho erhi kudosa amadoso gakarhuma abali bashebana baciyumva nka basezibwe okurhôlana. Mwali wirhu muguma ohamagalwa Elise n’iba bakengire ntya: “Rhwakag’iyumva enshonyi amango abandi bakag’irhudosa lugenda emipango y’obuhya bwirhu n’obo rhurhal’iciyiganirira.”

16. Gurhi rhushinganine rhujire erhi abantu babirhi bali bashebana bakalekana?

¹⁶ Gurhigi erhi abali bashebana bakahiga okulekana? Rhurhashinganini rhulonze okumanya ebibayerekire bo nnene erhi kutumuza muguma muli bo. (1 Pt. 4:15) Mwali wirhu muguma ohamagalwa Lea adesire ntya: “Nayumva oku abandi bakag’icibwira oguli omu mvolopi lugenda bulya gurhi nie na mwene wirhu muguma rhwalekanaga. Naciyumva kubi bwenene.” Nk’oku rhwaderhaga embere, erhi abali bashebana bakalekana, oko kurhali kuderha oku barhôzire omuhigo mubi. Kanji-kanji, oko kunayerekane kone oku bahikirizize omuhigo g’okushebana, ko kuderha oku kwabarhabire bahikire okurhôla omuhigo mwinja. Cikone, nkaba ogo muhigo gwanarhuma baba baciri baciyumva kubi erhi kuciyumva bali kahumba. Co cirhumire, rhwanalonza enjira rhwakabarhabalamwo.—Mig. 17:17.

17. Bici abantu bali bashebana bashinganine bagendekere bajira?

¹⁷ Nk’oku rhwabwine, akasanzi k’okushebana kanaba n’amazibu, cikone kandi kanaba ka kushagalusa. Jessica akengire ntya: “Okuderha okuli, okushebana guba mukolo. Cikone ako kasanzi n’emisi birhaba bihezire busha.” Erhi akaba muli bantu babirhi bali bashebana, mugendekere mwacihangana lyo ngasi muguma amanya owabo bwinja. Erhi mwakajira ntyo, mwanashebana omu njira y’okulerhera Yehova obukuze, yakamurhabala mwembi murhôle omuhigo mwinja.