Zvinoda Vacheche

KUBVIRA panguva yokuzvarwa kwake, mwana achangozvarwa anoda kutarisirwa norudo, kusanganisira kupuruzirwa zvinyoro-nyoro uye kugumbatirwa. Vamwe vanachiremba vanofunga kuti maawa 12 okutanga pashure pokusununguka anokosha kwazvo. Vanotaura kuti zvinodiwa naamai nomwana uye zvavanonyanya kuda pashure pokusununguka “hakusi kurara kana zvokudya, asi kupuruzirwa zvinyoro-nyoro nokugumbatirwa uye kutarisana nokuteererana.” *

Nenzira yomuzvarirwo, vabereki ndivo vanotanga kubata, kumbundira zvinyoro-nyoro, kupuruzira uye kugumbatira mucheche wavo. Mucheche wacho anobva anzwawo akachengeteka pavabereki vake uye anoratidza kuti anonzwa zvavanomuitira. Simba roukama uhwu rakasimba kwazvo zvokuti vabereki vanozvipira kutarisira mucheche wacho pasina zororo.

Ukuwo, pasina ukama uhwu hworudo hunobva kuvabereki, mucheche angaperezeka akafa. Saka, vamwe vanachiremba vanodavira kuti zvinokosha kuti mucheche apiwe amai vake nokukurumidza pashure pokusununguka. Vanoti maminitsi anenge 30 kusvika ku60 okutanga pashure pokusununguka anofanira kuva omubereki nomucheche.

Pasinei nokutaura kwokusimbisa kunoita vamwe paukama uhwu, kuti vave pamwe chete pakutanga chaipo zvingaoma, kana kuti hazviiti zvachose mune zvimwe zvipatara. Kakawanda kacho, vana vachangozvarwa vanoparadzaniswa naamai vavo pamusana penjodzi yokupfuudzwa kwechirwere kumwana. Kunyange zvakadaro, humwe uchapupu hunoratidza kuti nhamba yezvirwere zvinouraya chaizvoizvo ingadzikira kana vana vachangozvarwa vakagara navanaamai vavo. Saka zvipatara zviri kuramba zvichiwedzera zvinobvumira kuonana kwokutanga kwenguva refu kwaamai nomwana achangozvarwa.

Zvinoshungurudza Paukama Hwacho

Vamwe vanaamai havanzwi kuda mwana wavo pavanotanga kumuona. Saka vanonetseka kuti, ‘Zvichandinetsa here kuita ukama  naye?’ Ichokwadi kuti havasi vanaamai vose vanoda mucheche wavo pavanotanga kumuona. Asi, hapana chikonzero chokuzvidya mwoyo.

Kunyange kuda kwaamai mucheche wavo kukanonoka, kunogona kuumbiridzwa zvizere gare gare. “Hapana chero chinhu chimwe chinoitika pakusununguka chinoumba kana kuparadza ukama hwako nomwana wako,” vanodaro vamwe amai vane ruzivo. Kunyange zvakadaro, kana uri kutarisira kuva nomwana uye uine zviri kukushungurudza, kungava kuchenjera kukurukura pachine nguva nanyamukuta wako. Jekesa kuti ndirini paunoda kuva nomwana wako achangozvarwa uye kakawanda sei.

“Taurai Neni!”

Panoita sepane imwe nguva iyo vacheche vanenge vachiita sevanonzwa chaizvo kana vakaitwa chimwe chinhu. Nguva iyoyo inopera nokufamba kwenguva. Somuenzaniso, uropi hwomuduku hunobata mutauro zviri nyore, kunyange mitauro inodarika mumwe chete. Asi nguva yokunyanyobata mutauro inoita seinotanga kupera pazera remakore anenge mashanu.

Pashure pokunge mwana asvitsa makore 12 kusvika ku14, kudzidzira mumwe mutauro kungamuomera chaizvo. Maererano neimwe nyanzvi yokushanda kwouropi hwemwana Peter Huttenlocher, ndiyo nguva “inodzikira uwandu nenhamba yetsinga munzvimbo dzemitauro muuropi.” Zviri pachena kuti, makore mashomanana okutanga oupenyu inguva inokosha yokuwana ruzivo rwomutauro!

Vacheche vanogona sei kudzidzira kutaura, chiri chinhu chinokosha kwazvo pakuwana kwavo zivo sezvavanokura? Vanokwanisa kudaro zvikurukuru nokutaurirana nevabereki. Vacheche vanonyatsonzwa zvinotaurwa nevanhu. “Mucheche . . . anotevedzera inzwi raamai vake,” anodaro Barry Arons weMassachusetts Institute of Technology. Zvisinei, zvinoshamisa ndezvokuti vacheche havatevedzeri zvose zvinobuda mukutaura. Sokutaura kunoita Arons, mucheche “haatevedzeri kurira kwomubhedha kunoitika panguva imwe chete inenge ichitaura amai vake.”

Vabereki vanobva mutsika dzakasiyana-siyana vanotaura nevacheche vavo vachishandisa matauriro akafanana izvo vamwe vanoti “Kutaura Chicheche.” Mubereki paanotaura norudo, mwoyo womucheche unowedzera kurova. Izvi zvinonzi zvinobatsira kuti akurumidze kubatanidza mashoko nechinhu chaanoreva. Asina kutaura shoko, mucheche wacho anenge achiti: “Taurai neni!”

“Nditariseiwo!”

Zvakaonekwa kuti mugore rokutanga kana kuti kupfuura, mucheche anova noukama nomunhu mukuru anenge achimutarisira, kazhinji amai vake. Ukama uhwu hukanyatsosimba, mucheche wacho anova noukama hwakanaka nevamwe kudarika vacheche vasina ukama hwakasimba nevabereki vavo hwavanovimba nahwo. Ukama hwakadaro naamai vake, zvinonzi hunofanira kunge hwavapo panozosvitsa mwana makore matatu.

Chii chingaitika kana mucheche akaregeredzwa munguva iyi inokosha apo uropi hwake hunenge huchigona kukanganiswa zvakanyanya nezvimwe zvinhu? Martha Farrell Erickson, uyo akaongorora vanaamai 267 nevana vavo kwemakore anodarika 20, anotaura pfungwa iyi: “Kuregeredza kunoparadza zvishoma nezvishoma chido che[mwana wacho] uye kunoramba kuchidaro kusvika asisina chido chokuva noukama nevamwe kana chokuziva nyika.”

Achiedza kuenzanisira pfungwa yake maererano nengozi inoguma yaitika kana manzwiro emwana akaregeredzwa, Dr. Bruce Perry wepaTexas Children’s Hospital anoti: “Dai maizondikumbira kutora mwana ane mwedzi mitanhatu ndosarudza pakati pokutyora mapfupa ose ari  pamuviri wake kana kusava nebasa nemanzwiro ake epfungwa kwemwedzi miviri, ndaizoti mucheche aizova nani kana akatyorwa mapfupa ose ari mumuviri wake.” Nei? Mukuona kwaPerry, “mapfupa anogona kupora, asi mucheche akasaitirwa hanya mumwedzi miviri inokosha inenge ichikura uropi, achava nepfungwa dzichangogara dzisina kurongeka.” Havasi vose vanobvuma kuti kukuvara kwakadai hakugadzirisiki. Kunyange zvakadaro, kuongorora kwesayenzi kunoratidza kuti kuva nehanya nouropi hwomuduku kunokosha.

“Muchidimbu,” rinodaro bhuku rinonzi Infants, “[vacheche] vakagadzirira kuda uye kudiwa.” Panochema mucheche, kazhinji kacho anenge ari kutoteterera vabereki vake kuti: “Nditariseiwo!” Zvinokosha kuti vabereki vamuratidzewo mutsa. Nokukurukurirana kwakadaro, mucheche anozosvika pakuziva kuti anokwanisa kuzivisa vamwe zvaanoda. Anenge achitodzidza kuumba ukama hwoushamwari nevamwe.

‘Handizojaidzi Mucheche Wacho Here?’

‘Kana ndikaita chimwe chinhu pose panenge pachema mucheche wacho, handizomujaidzi here?’ ungabvunza kudaro. Pamwe. Maonero akangosiyana-siyana pamubvunzo uyu. Sezvo mwana oga oga akasiyana nomumwe, vabereki ndivo havo vanofanira kusarudza nzira yakanakisisa. Zvisinei, kumwe kuongorora kuchangobva kuitwa kunoratidza kuti mucheche achangoberekwa paanenge ava nenzara, asinganzwi zvakanaka, kana kuti asiri kufara, anoratidza kuti zvinomuodza mwoyo nokugadzirira muviri wake. Anoratidza kuora mwoyo kwake nokuchema. Zvinonzi mubereki paanoitira mucheche wacho zvaanoda, mubereki anotanga kuumba muuropi hwomucheche mubatanidzwa wemasero anomubatsira kuti adzidze kuzvinyaradza. Uyewo, maererano naDr. Megan Gunnar, mucheche anenge achiitirwa hanya paanoda chimwe chinhu anobudisa mahormone mashoma anoratidza kuora mwoyo anonzi cortisol. Uye kunyange akagumbuka, anokurumidza kufaranuka.

“Kutaura zvazviri,” anodaro Erickson, “vana vakaratidzwa hanya nokukurumidza uye nguva dzose, zvikurukuru mumwedzi 6 kusvika ku8 yokutanga youpenyu, chaizvoizvo vanochema zvishoma kudarika vaya vanosiyiwa vachingochema.” Zvinokoshawo kumunyararidza nenzira dzakasiyana-siyana. Kana ukamunyararidza nenzira imwe chete nguva dzose, zvakadai sokumuyamwisa kana kumubata, chokwadi unogona kumujaidza izvozvo. Dzimwe nguva, kungomudaira nenzwi rako chete kungava kwakakwana. Kana kuenda pedyo nomucheche wacho uye kutaura zvinyoro-nyoro munzeve yake zvingashanda.  Ukuwo, kubata musana wake kana dumbu noruoko rwako kungabatsira.

“Ibasa romucheche kuchema.” Chinodaro chirevo chokuMabvazuva. Kumucheche, kuchema ndiyo nzira huru yokutaura zvaanoda. Waizonzwa sei kana ukasapiwa zvaunoda nguva yose yaunokumbira chimwe chinhu? Saka, mucheche wako, asingagoni kuzvibatsira pasina mutarisiri, anganzwa sei kana achingosiyiwa akadaro nguva yose paanochemera chimwe chinhu kwauri? Zvisinei, ndiani anofanira kudavira mwana paanochema?

Ndiani Anotarisira Mucheche?

Kumwe kuongorora kwakaitwa muUnited States nguva pfupi yapfuura kwakaratidza kuti 54 muzana yevana vachangozvarwa kusvika mugiredhi yechitatu nguva dzose vanotarisirwa nevamwe vanhu vasiri vabereki vavo. Mhuri dzakawanda dzingada mabasa maviri kuti dzirarame. Uye vanaamai vakawanda vanotora zororo vasati uye pashure pokusununguka, kuti kana zvichibvira, vatarisire mwana wavo achangozvarwa kwemavhiki kana mwedzi mishomanana. Asi ndiani achatarisira mucheche wacho pashure pacho?

Zvechokwadi, hapana mitemo chaiyo inofanira kuteverwa pazvisarudzo zvakadaro. Zvisinei, zvakanaka kuyeuka kuti mwana anenge achiri mungozi yokuvhiringidzwa munguva iyi inokosha youpenyu hwake. Vabereki vacho vose vanofanira kufungisisa nhau yacho. Pavanenge vachisarudza zvokuita, vanofanira kufungisisa zvavanogona kuita zvose.

“Zviri kuramba zvichiva pachena kuti kunyange mapurogiramu anonzi akanakisisa okutarisira vana haatsivi nguva iyo vana vanoda kubva kuna vanaamai vavo nanababa vavo,” anodaro Dr. Joseph Zanga, weAmerican Academy of Pediatrics. Dzimwe nyanzvi dzakataura zvinodzishungurudza kuti vacheche vanotarisirwa munzvimbo dzokurera vana masikati havavi nomutarisiri kakawanda sezvavanoda.

Vamwe vanaamai vanoshanda, vachiziva zvinokosha zvinodiwa nomwana wavo, vakasarudza kuti vaizoramba vari pamba pane kurega vamwe vanhu vachiumba kukura kwepfungwa dzevana vavo. Mumwe mukadzi akati: “Ndakakomborerwa nokuti ndinonyatsoziva kuti hakuna rimwe basa raizondigutsa seizvi.” Zvechokwadi, kuoma kwoupfumi hakubvumiri vanaamai vose kuita zvisarudzo zvakadaro. Vabereki vakawanda havana zvavangaita asi kutongoshandisa nzvimbo dzinotarisira vana masikati, saka vanoedza kwazvo kuva nehanya nomwana wavo uye kumuda pavanenge vava vose. Saizvozvowo, vabereki vakawanda vari voga havana zvizhinji zvavangaita panhau iyi uye vanoshanda nesimba mukurera vana vavo—zvichiguma zvakanaka kwazvo.

Kuva mubereki kunogona kuva basa rinofadza, rinonakidza kwazvo. Kunyange zvakadaro, ibasa rakaoma, rine zvakawanda. Unogona sei kubudirira?

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Bhokisi/Mufananidzo uri papeji 22]

Vacheche Vakangoti Mwi-i

Vamwe vanachiremba muJapan vanotaura kuti kune nhamba iri kuwedzera yevacheche vasingachemi kana kunyemwerera. Nyanzvi inoziva kutarisirwa kwevana Satoshi Yanagisawa anovadana kuti vacheche vakangoti mwi-i. Nei vacheche vacho vachirega kuratidza manzwiro avo? Vamwe vanachiremba vanodavira kuti izvi zvinovapo nokuti vacheche vacho vanenge vasingaonani nevabereki. Uku kunonzi kumanikidzwa kurega kuzvidzivirira. Vamwe vanoti zvimwe kurukurirano ikasaitwa nguva dzose kana ikaonwa zvisirizvo, vacheche vanopedzisira varega kuedza kukurukura.

Kana mucheche akasabatwa zvakakodzera panguva yakafanira, chikamu chouropi hwake chinoita kuti agone kunzwira urombo chingatadza kukura, anodaro Dr. Bruce Perry, chiremba mukuru wokushanda kwepfungwa paTexas Children’s Hospital. Kana mwana akaregeredzwa zvakanyanya, angasazombokwanisa kunzwira urombo zvachose. Dr. Perry anofunga kuti dzimwe nguva udhakwa nokurwa kwevana vachiri kuyaruka zvinogona kunge zvichikonzerwa nemabatirwo akadaro anotanga kuitwa vana.

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 23]

Ukama huri pakati pomubereki nomucheche hunowedzera kusimba pavanokurukurirana