Mazano Okuti Mhuri Ifare
Kuchinja Kunoita Zvinhu Murume Nomudzimai Pavanova Nevana
Tatenda * anoti: “Ini naVimbai takafara zvokufara zviya pakaberekwa mwanasikana wedu wokutanga. Asi mwedzi yokutanga mwana aberekwa, ndakanga ndisingachamborari. Tainge tine zvakawanda zvataironga pamarerero ataizomuita, asi zvose zvakaenda nomudondo.”
Vimbai anoti: “Pakaberekwa mwana wedu hapana chandakanga ndichiri kukwanisa kuronga chichibudirira. Ndakanga ndava kungofunga nezvokumuyamwisa, kumuchinja manapukeni, kana kuti kumunyararidza. Pane zvakawanda kwazvo zvandaifanira kujaira. Zvakatitorera mwedzi yakawanda naTatenda kuti tikwanise kuita zvataimboita.”
VAKAWANDA vanobvuma kuti kuva nevana ndechimwe chezvinhu zvinofadza chaizvo muupenyu. Bhaibheri rinoti vana “mubayiro” unobva kuna Mwari. (Pisarema 127:3) Vabereki vanenge vachiri vatsva vetsambo vakaita saTatenda naVimbai vanozivawo kuti kuuya kwevana kunogona kuchinja zvakawanda paukama hwavo ivo. Somuenzaniso, amai vatsva vanganyanya kuisa pfungwa dzavo pamwana wavo uye vangatoshamiswa nezvinoitwa nomuviri wavo uye kurova kunoita hana yavo pose panochema mwana wavo kana kuti paanenge achida chimwe chinhu. Baba vatsvawo vangashamisika nokuwirirana kunoitika pakati paamai nomwana, asi vangatangawo kunetseka kuti havachamboonekwi somunhu.
Kutaura zvazviri, kuberekwa kwomwana wokutanga ndiko kunogona kutopfutidza kakusawirirana pakati pomurume nomudzimai. Mumwe angatanga kutyira kuti mumwe wake haasisina basa naye, uye kana pane zvinyaya-nyaya zvakaitika kare zvinobva zvatanga kumuka zvichikonzerwa nematambudziko okuva mubereki.
Mwedzi yokutanga yokuzvarwa kwomwana pane twakawanda-wanda twaanenge achida kuitirwa. Pakadai vabereki vangaitei kuti vaite zvaanenge achida? Vangaita sei kuti ukama hwavo hurambe hwakasimba? Vangaita sei kana pane zvavasiri kuwirirana pamarererwo omwana wacho? Ngatimboongororai rimwe nerimwe rematambudziko aya toona kuti zvinotaurwa neBhaibheri zvingabatsira sei vakaroorana kuti vaagadzirise.
DAMBUDZIKO 1: Chose-chose yangova nyaya yomwana.
Mwana mucheche anotora nguva yakawanda yaamai vake uye vanongogara vachifunga nezvake. Vanogutsikana kwazvo pavanenge vachitarisira mwana wavo. Ukuwo murume angaona sokuti mudzimai wake haasisina basa naye. Manuel, anogara kuBrazil, anoti: “Zvakanga zvakandiomera chaizvo mudzimai wangu paakangochinja ndokutanga kupedza nguva yake yose achingotarisira mwana, otoita sendisipo. Mwana asati avapo taifara, asi pakazongouya mwana ndakanga ndisingachaonekwi somunhu. Mwana ndiye akanga ongodiwa.” Ungaita sei kana zvinhu zvikachinja saizvozvo?
Zano rokuti ubudirire: Iva nomwoyo murefu.
Bhaibheri rinoti, “Rudo rune mwoyo murefu uye rune mutsa . . . haruzvitsvakiri zvarwo, harutsamwi.” (1 VaKorinde 13:4, 5) Panoberekwa mwana, murume nomudzimai vangaita sei kuti vaite zvinotaurwa nezano iri?
Murume akachenjera anoratidza kuti anoda mudzimai wake nokudzidza nezvekuchinja kunoita mafungiro uye muviri womudzimai wake paanova nomwana. Kana akadaro, achanzwisisa chinoita kuti dzimwe nguva mudzimai wake angoerekana twakwidza. * Adam ndibaba vanogara kuFrance vane mwanasikana ane mwedzi 11, uye vanoti: “Pamwe pacho zvakaoma kunzwisisa zvinoitwa nomudzimai wangu, nokuti tunongoerekana twakwidza. Asi ndinoedza kuyeuka kuti kana akashatirwa hakusi kuti ndini waari kushatirirwa. Nyaya iripo ndeyokuti ari kungovhiringikawo nokuva nomwana sechinhu chaasina kujaira.”
Zvinomboitika here kuti mudzimai wako anoshora zvaunenge uchiedza kuita kuti umubatsirewo? Kana achidaro, usakurumidza kugumbuka. (Muparidzi 7:9) Asi edza kuona kuti chii chaita kuti adaro, kwete kungosimbirira pane zvaunoda. Ukadaro hauzogumbuki.—Zvirevo 14:29.
Ukuwo mudzimai akachenjera achaedza kukurudzira murume wake kuita basa rake sababa. Vachamubatsira kuti adzidzire kurera mwana, vachimuratidza nomwoyo murefu kuti manapukeni anochinjwa sei kana kuti mwana anodyiswa sei, kunyange hazvo mazuva okutanga angaratidza sokuti haasi kugona.
Vamwe amai vanonzi Rumbidzai vane makore 26 vakaona kuti vaitofanira kuti chinjei pamabatiro avaiita murume wavo. Vanoti: “Ndaitofanira kuyeuka kuti mwana ndewedu tose. Ndaifanira kugara ndichizviyeuchidza kuti murume wangu paanenge achiedza kuita zvandinenge ndataura nezvokurera mwana, ndisanan’anidza chose chaari kukanganisa.”
EDZA IZVI: Vakadzi kana varume venyu vachirera vana nenzira yakasiyana neyamunoita, musakurumidza kungoshora-shora kana kumuudza kuti chirega ndizviitire ndoga. Mutendewo pane zvaanenge agona, uye zvichaita kuti ave nechivimbo uye zvichamukurudzira kuti akutsigire paunenge uchida kutsigirwa. Varume, regai zvimwe zvinhu zvisinganyanyi kukosha kuitira kuti muve nenguva yakawanda yokubatsira madzimai enyu, kunyanya mumwedzi mishomanana mwana achangoberekwa.
DAMBUDZIKO 2: Kuwirirana kwenyu sababa naamai kunoita zinyekenyeke.
Vakawanda vanenge vachangova nomwana vanonetseka kuti varambe vaine ukama hwepedyo, zvichikonzerwa nokusarara zvakanaka uye mamwe matambudziko anongoerekana amuka. Vivianne, vamwe amai vokuFrance vane vana vaviri vanoti: “Pakutanga, ndaingofunga nezvezvandaifanira kuitira mwana wangu, zvikapedzisira zvaita kuti ndikanganwe zvandaifanira kuitira murume wangu.”
Ukuwo, murume angatadza kunzwisisa kuti kana mudzimai wake azvitakura, muviri wake uye mafungiro ake zvinochinja. Mwana mucheche anogona kutora nguva yenyu yose nesimba zvamaishandisa kuti murambe muine ukama hwepedyo uye muchinakidzwa nebonde. Saka vanhu vakaroorana vangaita sei kuti vasaparadzaniswa nekacheche kavo kavanoda, kanenge kakangomirira kuitirwa zvinhu?
Zano rokuti mubudirire: Rambai muchiudzana kuti munodanana.
Bhaibheri rinorondedzera imba richiti: “Murume achasiya baba vake naamai vake uye achanamatira mudzimai wake uye vachava nyama imwe.” * (Genesisi 2:24) Jehovha Mwari akagara ati vana vaizosiya vabereki vavo. Asi anotarisira kuti murume nomudzimai varambe vari nyama imwe kwoupenyu hwose. (Mateu 19:3-9) Kunzwisisa pfungwa iyi kungabatsira sei vabereki vanenge vava nomwana mucheche kuti varambe vachiisa zvinhu zvinokosha pokutanga?
Vivianne, ambotaurwa, anoti: “Ndakafunga nezvemashoko ari pana Genesisi 2:24, uye ndima iyoyo yakandibatsira kuziva kuti ndakanga ndiri “nyama imwe” nomurume wangu, kwete nomwana wangu. Ndakaona kuti ndaitofanira kusimbisa imba yedu.” Theresa, vamwe amai vekasikana kane makore maviri, vanoti: “Zuva roga roga kana ndikaona ndisisina nguva nomurume wangu, ndinobva ndasiya zvimwe zvinhu zvose kuti ndiwane nguva yokuva naye, kunyange hazvo nguva yacho ingava pfupi.”
Somurume, ungaitei kuti usimbise imba yako? Udza mudzimai wako kuti unomuda. Asi ngazvirege kungogumira pamuromo. Kana mudzimai wako ava kuona sokuti hausisina basa naye, muratidze kuti uchiri kumuda. Sara, vamwe amai vane makore 30, vanoti: “Mudzimai anofanira kuziva kuti achiri kukosheswa uye achiri kudiwa, kunyange hazvo muviri wake wachinja pane zvawaiva asati ava nepamuviri.” Alan, anogara kuGermany uye ane vanakomana vaviri, anoti zvakakosha kunzwa manzwiro anenge achiita mumwe wako. Anoti: “Nguva dzose ndinoedza kuita zvinonyaradza mudzimai wangu paanosuwa.”
Zvinonzwisisika kuti kuuya kwomwana kuchambokanganisa bonde mumba menyu. Saka murume nomudzimai vanofanira kutaurirana manzwiro avanenge vachiita. Bhaibheri rinoti vakaroorana vanofanira ‘kubvumirana’ pane zvichachinja panyaya dzebonde. (1 VaKorinde 7:1-5) Izvi zvinoreva kuti vanofanira kurukurirana. Zvichienderana nemakudzirwo awakaitwa uye tsika dzokwenyu, ungangodaro uchinyara kutaura nyaya dzebonde nomumwe wako. Asi pamunenge mava nomwana, zvinokosha kuti nyaya idzi dzitaurwe. Iva munhu anonzwira urombo, ane mwoyo murefu, uye taura zviri kutsi kwomwoyo wako. (1 VaKorinde 10:24) Ukadaro zvichaita kuti munzwisisane uye rudo rwenyu ruchatodzama.—1 Petro 3:7, 8.
Vanhu vakaroorana vangadzamisawo rudo rwavo nokutendana. Murume akachenjera anoziva kuti pane zvakawanda zvinoitwa naamai vatsva ava zvisingaoneki nevamwe. Vivianne anoti: “Kazhinji ndinoona sokuti zuva ranyura ndisina chandamboita, kunyange hazvo ndinenge ndaswera ndichirera mwana.” Pasinei nokuti akabatikana, mudzimai anonzwisisa haazotarisiri pasi zvinenge zvichiitwa nomurume wake achiitira mhuri yavo.—Zvirevo 17:17.
EDZA IZVI: Vanaamai, kana zvichiita, panguva inenge yakarara mwana wenyu imiwo chimborarai. Kana mukadaro, munozowanawo simba rokuitira mhuri yenyu zvimwe zvinhu. Vanababa, kana zvichiita, mukai usiku mupe mwana zvokudya kana kumuchinja manapukeni kuitira kuti mudzimai wenyu azorore. Garai muchiudza mudzimai wenyu kuti munomuda, muchimunyorera tutsamba, muchimutumira mameseji, kana kuti kumufonera. Ivaiwo nenguva yokumbova penyu moga muchikurukura. Taurai nyaya dzine chokuita nemi, kwete kungotaura nezvemwana wenyu. Rambai muchisimbisa ukama hwenyu somurume nomudzimai. Mukadaro muchakwanisa kukunda matambudziko anouya nokuva vabereki.
DAMBUDZIKO 3: Hamusi kubvumirana pamarererwo evana.
Vakaroorana vangazoona kuti kusawirirana kwavanomboita inyaya yemarererwo avakaitwa. Ndiro dambudziko rakasangana nevamwe amai vokuJapan vanonzi Asami nomurume wavo Katsuro. Asami anoti: “Ndaiona sokuti Katsuro ainyanya kuyemedza mwanasikana wedu, iyewo achiti ini ndainyanya kuomesera mwana.” Mungaita sei kuti muedze kushanda pamwe chete?
Zano rokuti mubudirire: Kurukura nomumwe wako motsigirana.
Mambo akachenjera Soromoni akanyora kuti: “Munhu anokonzera kukakavara nokuda kwokuzvikudza, asi vaya vanorangana vane uchenjeri.” (Zvirevo 13:10) Zvingani zvaunoziva zvinoitwa nemumwe wako panyaya yokurera vana? Kana mukanonoka kukurukura marerero amuchaita mwana wenyu kusvikira aberekwa, munogona kuguma mava kunetsana pane kugadzirisa dambudziko racho.
Somuenzaniso, makabvumirana kutii nezvemibvunzo inotevera: “Tingadzidzisa sei mwana wedu tsika dzakanaka pakudya uye pakurara? Kana mwana ava kufanira kunorara akangoti n’ee totomusimudza here? Tingaita sei kana mwana ava kuomerwa nokutaura kuti ava kuda kuenda kuchimbudzi nepo anga ava kumbogona kuzvitaura? Zviri pachena kuti zvamuchasarudza zvichasiyana nezvinoitwa nevamwe vabereki. Ethan vamwe baba vane vana vaviri, vanoti: “Kuti muwirirane munotofanira kupedza nyaya dzamatanga. Mukadaro muchakwanisa kubatsira mwana wenyu pane zvaanenge achida.”
EDZA IZVI: Funga nezvemarererwo awakaitwa nevabereki vako. Sarudza kuti ndezvipi zvaungada kutevedzera pakurera mwana wenyu. Uyewo sarudza kana pane zvausingadi kutevedzera. Chikurukura nomumwe wako zvawasarudza.
Mwana Anogona Kutosimbisa Imba Yenyu
Zvinotora nguva kuti muzojaira zvamunenge mava kufanira kuita sevabereki, sezvinongoitawo varume vaviri vari kukandirana zvidhinha kubva mumota mumwe achigamha zvakanaka-naka. Munozopedzisira mava nechivimbo.
Kurera vana kucharatidza kuti ukama hwenyu somurume nomudzimai hwakasimba zvakadini uye kuchatohuchinja. Asi zvinokupaiwo mukana wokuva nounhu hwakanaka. Kana mukatevedzera zano reBhaibheri rine uchenjeri mukati, muchaita sezvakataurwa navamwe baba vanonzi Kenneth. Vakati: “Kurera vana kwakatibatsira, ini nomudzimai wangu. Iye zvino hatichangozvifungi isu chete, uyewo tava norudo uye tava kunzwisisa zvikuru.” Kuchinja saizvozvo kunodiwa paukama hwenyu somurume nomudzimai.
^ ndima 3 Mazita ari munyaya ino akachinjwa.
^ ndima 11 Vhiki shomanana mushure mokusununguka, vanaamai vakawanda vanombobatwa nechirwere chokuora mwoyo chinonzi depression kwekanguva kapfupi. Kune vamwe chinotogona kuuya chakasimba, uye chinonzi postpartum depression. Kana uchida mamwe mashoko nezvokuti ungaziva sei chirwere ichi uye kuti ungaita sei kana mumwe wako ambobatwa nacho, ona nyaya inoti “Ndakakunda Kuora Mwoyo Kunouya Pashure Pokusununguka,” iri mumagazini yeMukai! yaAugust 8, 2002, neimwe inoti “Understanding Postpartum Depression,” iri muAwake! yaJune 8, 2003, dzakabudiswa neZvapupu zvaJehovha. Unogonawo kuverenga nyaya idzi paIndaneti pakero inoti www.watchtower.org.
^ ndima 19 Maererano nerimwe bhuku renyanzvi, shoko rechiHebheru rakashandurwa kuti “namatira” pana Genesisi 2:24 rinogona ‘kuva nepfungwa yokuti kwati kwati pane mumwe munhu nokuti unomuda uye wakavimbika kwaari.’
ZVIBVUNZE KUTI . . .
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Muvhiki yakapfuura, chii chandakaita kuratidza mumwe wangu kuti ndinotenda zvaanoitira mhuri?
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Ndakapedzisira rini kutaura zviri kutsi kwomwoyo wangu nomumwe wangu asi zvisiri zvokurera vana?
Zvimwe Zvaunogona Kufarira
MHURI YENYU INOGONA KUFARA
Kudzidzisa Kwamungaita Mwana Wenyu
Kuranga kunobatanidza zvinopfuura kungopa mitemo uye kupanicha.
MUKAI!
Tenda Zvinoitwawo Nemumwe Wako
Kana murume nemudzimai vakatarisa zvakanaka zvinoitwa nemumwe votendana, zvichaita kuti vawedzere kudanana. Zvii zvaungaita kuti uwedzere kutenda mumwe wako?