1. Kwikala na miisambo ibuwa nkukwashe mabaka mushindo kinyi?

UNGI mukwetu a mu Canada bambile shi: “Ntshi mulombeene kukisha nsaa ibungi na mungi muntu, kukasha penda mukashi ande. Ne na muloo wibungi mu nshalelo ande na nkalakasho yooso ikwete kupeela nsaa yanesamba naaye.” Ungi muntu a mu Australie bafundile shi: “Munda mwa bipwa 11 byatudi bakishe pamune na mukashi ande, takwi efuku su ndimune dyandi mukishe kushii kwisamba naaye. Tatwi bapete lukalakasho pabitale kunyinga kwa dibaka dyetu nya. Bino byooso twi bebikite ku bukwashi bwa kwisambanga miisambo ibuwa munkatshi mwetu.” Ungi mukwetu mukashi a mu Costa Rica bambile shi: “Kwikala na miisambo ibuwa ta kubaadi kunyingishe penda dibaka dyetu nya; kadi, kubaadi kwitukwashe bwa kwifubwila pepi na Yehowa, kwitukalwila ku bitompwanga, kwitwikasha mu buumune na kutamisha kifulo kyetu.”

2. Myanda kinyi ilombeene kukutshisha beena dibaka kwisambanga kalolo?

² Obe na mwina koobe, nukwete kwisamba miisambo ibuwa pamune su anumonaa shi ta mbibofule kwikala na miisambo ibuwa? Eyendo shi nkalakasho ngilombeene kutuuka, mwanda dibaka ndibungye bantu babidi bakutwe kupwidika bekale dingi na mwikeelo wilekene, mpa na ngikashi ilekene muyiile bipikwa bya kwabo na mushindo wabadi bebakushe. (Lom. 3:23) Na dingi, beena dibaka mbalombeene kwilekena mu ngakwilo aabo. Nyi bwakinyi John M. Gottman na Nan Silver abakimbuulaa myanda ya mabaka abalesha dingi shi: “Abitungu kunyinga eshimba, kwata bitshibilo, na kunyinga bwa kulama kipwano kya looso.”

3. Nkinyi kikwashe bantu bebungi bwabadya kunyingisha mabaka aabo?

³ Abitungu kwitatshisha ngofu bwa kwikala na dibaka dibuwa. Sunga mbyabya, mu bipeta abituuku mwi mpa na miloo ibungi. Mulume na mukashi befulene mbalombeene  kupeta muloo mu nshaleelo aabo. (Mul. 9:9) Tubande kutaluula bibaadi dibaka dibuwa dya Isaake na Rebeka. (Kib. 24:67) Sunga kunyima kwa kukisha mafuku ebungi pamune, ta mbaleshe mbalo su ngimune shi kifulo kyabo kibaadi kipeele nya. Twi balombeene kwamba byabya bwa beena mabaka bebungi lelo uno. Nkinyi kibakwashe? Mbalongye byabadya kwilungushena bi mu binangu byabo na by’abapusha mu mashimba aabo, na kululama mpa na kalolo kooso nsaa yabalesha kapatupatu, kifulo, kanemo na kwiyisha. Anka bu byatukyebe kwibimona binobino, su mu dibaka mwi ino ngikashi ikata, bano beena dibaka abekala abesamba kalolo.

4, 5. Mushindo kinyi wi kapatupatu nkalombeene kukwasha beena dibaka bwabadya kwiteemeshana kalolo? Tuusha kileshesho.

⁴ Mukanda wa Myeele 16:20 awamba shi: “Anangushena ngofu ku bipwandjikiile kukita, ekala kalolo.” Uno mwanda ngwa binyibinyi pabitale dibaka na nshalelo a mu kifuko. (Badika Myeele 24:3.) Eyi dy’Efile Mukulu nyi nsulo ikile buwa ya kapatupatu na binangu. Mukanda wa Kibangilo 2:18 awitulungula shi, Efile Mukulu bapangile mukashi bwa kwikala mukwashi a mulume, kushi bu kifwatulo kyaye. Mudimo waye aumwenekyela mu mushindo wakwete kwisamba na mulume aaye. Eyendo shi bantu mbelekeene, kadi, bana bakashi abakuminaa kwakula pabitale byabapusha mwishimba, pabitale bantu, mpa na pabitale nshalelo abo. Abakuminaa miisambo ayilesha kifulo na kululama mwanda ayibashinkamiisha shi mbebafule. Anka, bana balume bebungi, tabakambaa kwakula byabapusha nya, kadi abakambaa kwakula pabitale midimo yaabo, myanda yaabo mpa na kyabakyebe kukita. Na dingi bana balume abakumiinaa shi bebanemekye.

⁵ Ungi mukwetu mukashi a mu Grande-Brétagne amba shi: “Mulume ande akuminaa kupudisha myanda lubilolubilo pamutwe pa kunteemesha. Bino abinkalakashaa ngofu mwanda kyooso kyankyebe mpenda shi ‘anteemeshe na apushe bi mwishimba dyande.’” Ungi mulume bafundile shi: “Patubaadi beyibakishene na mukashi ande, naadi na lukalo lwa kupudishanga myanda yooso yaadi nayo. Anka, ne musangane shi mukashi ande baadi penda na lukalo lwa kuteemeshibwa.” (Mye. 18:13; Ja. 1:19) Mulume sha kapatupatu ashinguula bi nkalo ya mukashi aaye na kukita myanda muyiile abipusha mukashi aaye. Na dingi, amulesha shi binangu byaaye na nkalo yaaye bi na muulo kwadi. (1 Mp. 3:7) Mukashi e na kapatupatu, akitaa mwaye mooso bwa kupusha abyakula mulume aaye. Pe mulume na mukashi abashinguula, kusangeela na kulombasha mudimo wabo muyiile Bifundwe, kipwano kyabo akikala kikile buwa. Na dingi, abafubu pamune bwa kwata bitshibilo bibuwa na kwibilombasha.

6, 7. (a) Mayi e mu mukanda wa Mulungudi 3:7 aakwasha beena dibaka naminyi bwa kulesha kapatupatu? (b) Mushindo kinyi ulombeene mukashi kulesha shi e na binangu, na abitungu shi mulume etatshishe bwa kukita kinyi?

⁶ Mulume na mukashi be na kya kuuka shi kwi “kipindji . . . kya kumîna na kya kwisamba.” (Mul. 3:1, 7, EEM) Ungi mukwetu mukashi mupwe kwibakilwa takudi bipwa ekumi amba shi: “Binobino, nashinguula shi kwi nsaa ishii ilombane bwa kwibwesha mwanda kampanda. Su mulume ande e na midimo ibungi sunga ingi myanda ya kukita, namulekyela nsaa bwashi su bapudisha ndjo nfikye mmulondele mwanda wandi nawo. Miisambo yetu ikwete kukidika kalolo.” Mukashi sha binangu akulaa na kalolo kooso, auku shi kishima kisangulwe kalolo ‘kyakudîbwe pa kipindji kyâkyo’ kibuwa na ki na muulo.—Badika Myeele 25:11, Ñono na malango.

⁷ Kwi kintu kilombeene mulume mwina Kidishitu kukita, ta nka penda kuteemesha akimulungula mukashi aaye nya, kadi etatshishe bwa kumulesha kalolo bi binangu byaaye. Mukwetu umune mukulu mu kakongye mupwe kwibakila takudi bipwa 27 amba shi: “Nkwete kwitatshisha bwa kulungula mukashi ande ki mwishimba dyande.” Ungi mukwetu mulume mwibakile takudi bipwa 24 alesha shi: “Naadi napele ingi myanda, napwandikishanga shi, ‘su ntshii mwisambe yanka ayikatuka mu binangu byande.’ Kunyima, ne musangane  shi kulesha bi mwishimba dyoobe ta nkukutwa kwa kapu nya. Pankwete kwitatshisha bwa kulesha bi mwishimba dyande, nelaa nteko bwa kusangula bishima bibuwa bya kwakula na mushindo wibuwa wa kwibyakula. Akupu n’eyikisha kapindji ndjo nabanga kwakula.” Kingi kintu ki na muulo, nkusangula kipindji kibuwa bwa kwisamba, pangi nsaa i beena dibaka bakwete kutaluula verse a kwifuku sunga p’ababadika Bible pamune.

8. Bwa koobesha dibaka dyabo, beena Kidishitu beyibakishene abakitaa kinyi?

⁸ Luteko lwi na muulo kwi mulume na mukashi nsaa yabadi na lukalo lukata lwa kulumbuula mushindo wabakwete kwisamba. Kya kuuka nkino, bi bukopo kushintuula biubishi bya kala. Anka, nsaa i beena dibaka mbafule Yehowa, abamutekye kikudi kyaaye, na abamono dibaka dyabo bu kintu kiselele, abekala na lukalo lwa kulumbuula dibaka dyabo kukila bangi. Ungi mukwetu mukashi e na bipwa 26 baadi mufunde shi: “Ami na mulum’ande atwateyaa mweneno a Yehowa pabitale dibaka na muulo, nyi bwakinyi mwanda wa kutshiba dibaka tawitufwilaa su mu binangu nya. Bino abitutakula bwa kukita mwetu mooso bwa kupudisha bilumbu nsaa yatwibitaluula pamune.” Mulume na mukashi abalesha kululama kwabo kwi Efile Mukulu mu uno mushindo, abasangasha eshimba dyaaye na aye ebelela myabi.—Mis. 127:1.

9, 10. Mushindo kinyi wibuwa ulombeene beena dibaka kunyingisha kifulo kyabo?

⁹ Kifulo, akyo ‘akibungu mu buumune bulombanyinyiine,’ nyi eyikashi di na muulo ukata mu dibaka. (Kol. 3:14) Kifulo kya binyibinyi akitamaa su beena dibaka basha kululama bakwete kukisha nsaa pamune, mu malwa sunga mu muloo. Be mu kipwano ki bukopo, na ooso a kwabadi e na muloo wa kwikala pepi na mwin’aaye. Mabaka e byabya aanyingaa kushii penda na bintu bikata bu byabebileshaa mu ma filme, kadi mu kwikitshishena tu myanda tupeela bu—kwikameena bipa, kwileshena kalolo, kwikitshishena tu myanda atulesha kifulo, tusepo twi buwa sunga tu bishima twa kalolo bu kwipusha shi, “efuku dibakidi naminyi?” Tuno tu myanda tupeela ntulombeene kushintuula myanda ikata mu dibaka. Bangi beena dibaka batabadi bipwa 19 na muloo mu dibaka, abeyitamishena na kwifundishena ma mesaje efuku dyooso, mulume alesha shi, abakitaa byabya “penda bwa kuuka bi muntu ooso kwaye kwadi.”

¹⁰ Kifulo dingi akitakulaa beena dibaka bwabadya kutungunuka na kwiukena. (Fid. 2:4) Na dingi, kyakya kiukilo akitamisha kifulo kyabo ngofu sunga kwekala nkalakasho ya kukutwa kwa kupwidika. Dibaka dibuwa adyendaa na kunyinga munda mwa mafuku. Byabya su we mwibakile, we mulombeene  kwiyipusha bino: ‘Nauku mulume sunga mukashi ande kalolo su? Nauku byapushaa na abikalaa binangu byaaye pa myanda kampanda su? Namwelelaa binangu kinyi, natalaa menemene ngikashi yaaye ibuwa su?’

11. Bwakinyi kanemo ke na muulo bwa koobesha dibaka? Tuusha kileshesho.

¹¹ Mabaka e na muloo tangapwidikye nya, mwanda nkulombeene kutuuka tu bilumbu munkatshi mwabo. Abrahame na Saraa tababaadi abepusheena mu myanda yooso nya. (Kib. 21:9-11) Anka nkalakasho yabo tayibaadi ilwishe kipwano kibaadi pankatshi pabo nya. Bwakinyi? Abaadi abeleshena kanemo. Na bino mbilombeene kumweka mu mushindo ubaadi Abrahame esamba na Saraa. (Kib. 12:11, 13) Saraa naamu baadi akokyela Abrahame, na baadi amwitamina shi “nfumwami.” (Kib. 18:12, EEM) Su beena dibaka tabenemekyeshena, bino abimwenekaa menemene mu ngakwilo aabo na mushindo wabakamisha mayi abo. (Mye. 12:18) Su tabataluula myanda kalolo, dibaka dyabo ndilombeene kulwila.—Badika Jaake 3:7-10, 17, 18.

12. Bwakinyi abitungu shi bantu bakyabakatuka mu kwiyibakishena bakite mwabo mooso bwa kwinemekyeshena mu ngakwilo abo?

¹² Bantu bakyabakatuka mu kwiyibakishena be na kya kukita mwabo mooso bwa kwikala na ngakwilo ebuwa na kwinemekyeshena, byabya abekala na miisambo ibuwa munkatshi mwabo. Ungi mulume atentekyesha shi: “Bipwa bya kumpala bya dibaka, sunga kwekala muloo, ingi nsaa nkulombeene kwikala nkalakasho. Su okwete kutopeka myanda yooso ya mukashi obe—byapusha, biubishi byaaye na nkalo yaaye—su aye naamu kwete nkutopeka, dibaka ndilombeene kulwila. Byabya, myanda ngilombeene kwikala kalolo su nwi na binangu bibuwa, anwele miseku, na su nwi na ngikashi ya kwiyisha, lwishinko na su nwibakulupile mwi Yehowa.” Byabya bibuwa bwi kashaa!

13. Bwakinyi kwiyisha, nkintu kimune ki na muulo bwa kwikala na muloo mu dibaka?

¹³ Kwisamba kalolo mu dibaka akwikalaa nka bi mwela awalaala mu lupango. Kwikala “beyishe” kwi na mudimo ukata bwashi wawa mwela walaale. (1 Mp. 3:8) Ungi mukwetu mwibakile takudi bipwa 11 alesha shi: “Kwiyisha ndjo kintu kikata akikwasha bwa kupudisha bilumbu mwanda akwitutakula bwa kwamba shi, ‘nfwile namu lusa.’” Ungi mukwetu mukulu mu kakongye baapu kukisha bipwa 20 mu dibaka alesha na muloo ooso shi: “Ingi nsaa bishima bu kwamba shi, ‘nfwile namu  lusa’ bi na muulo kukila kwamba shi, ‘ne mukufule.’” Bambile dingi shi: “Luteko nkingi kintu akikwasha bwa kwikala na kwiyisha. Ami na mukashi ande patwifubwila kwi Yehowa mu luteko, atutentekyesha kalolo k’Efile Mukulu na shi twi bakutwe kupwidika. Kutentekyesha byabya akulumbuula myanda ibungi.”

14. Kwitatula nkulombeene kwikasha dibaka naminyi?

¹⁴ Byabya, kwitatula nkintu kimune ki bubi. Akukutshishaa bantu kwisamba mwanda akukutshishaa muntu kwikala na lukalo lwa kunyinga eshimba bwa kuteka lusa. Pamutwe pa kwiyisha bwa kwakula shi “nfwile namu lusa,” muntu sha kwitatula ebingishaa. Pamutwe pa kunying’eshimba bwa kukumiina bilubilo byaye, asumbwila ungi muntu kilubilo. Palwishisha muntu, apele kukimba kufukama, ebingisha, pangi akimbi kwiobwela na bishima bi bubi. (Mul. 7:9) Eyendo shi, kwitatula nkulombeene kulwisha dibaka. Abitungu kushinguula shi, “Efile Mukulu mmushikwe baa-sha-kwitatula, anka aleesha kalolo kwi beeyishe.”—Ja. 4:6.

15. Lesha mushindo ulombeene mayi e mu Beena-Efeeze 4:26, 27 kukwasha beena dibaka bwabadya kupudisha bilumbu abituuku munkatshi mwabo.

¹⁵ Eyendo, ta bibuwa kupwandjikisha shi kwitatula tankulombeene kwitufwila nya. Abitungu twikutundule na kwikukaasha mususa umune. Mpoolo balungwile beena Kidishitu naaye shi: “Twekalanga na nsungu munda mwefuku dyoso dishima. Tanulekyelanga Kafilefile mbalo.” (Ef. 4:26, 27, Kilombeno kipya) Kukutwa kwa kuteemesha Eyi dy’Efile Mukulu nkulombeene kutuusha nkalakasho ya bisumanga. Ungi mukwetu mukashi baadi edidi shi: “Ami na mulume ande patubaadi bakutwe kulonda mayi e mu Beena-Efeeze 4:26, 27, kubatuukile bipeta bi bubi mwanda naadi mpa na mukutwe tulo!” Kutaluula myanda ku mbangilo na lukalo lwa kwiyipudisha kwi na muulo! Eyendo mwina dibaka ooso abitungu alekyele mwinaaye nsaa yadya kwikisha. Bibuwa dingi kwela nteko kwi Yehowa bwashi enukwashe bwa kwikala na binangu bibuwa. Bino abitungu kwikala na kwiyisha kulombeene kwinukwasha bwa kupela kutaluula myanda penda muyiile abipusha umune a kwanudi kadi bwa kwiyitaluula na lukalo lwa kwiyipudisha.—Badika Beena-Kolose 3:12, 13.

16. Mushindo kinyi ulombeene kwiyisha kwakwasha mwina dibaka ooso bwa kwata binangu bya mukwabo na muulo?

¹⁶ Kwiyisha na kwidinga abikwasha mwina dibaka bwa kutuula binangu kwi mwina dibaka naaye. Twate kileshesho: Mukashi mmulombeene kwikala auku mudimo kampanda wakwete kutumika bwa kukwasha ba mu kifuko kyaaye; su mulume aaye e na kwiyisha na kwidinga tamulombeene kwimona bu mwishibwe milongo nya, kadi amukwasha bwadya kutumika na kipeedi kyadi nakyo, bwa kulesha shi kwete kumwata na muulo na’shi amunemeka. (Mye. 31:10, 28; Ef. 5:28, 29) Na dingi, mukashi e na kwiyisha na kwidinga ta mulombeene kwimona pa mwanda wa binangu byadi nabyo na kwisha mulume aaye milongo nya. Sunga mbyabya, bubidi bwabo be “mbidi imunenka.” Aukwata umune ubebakwata booso.—Mat. 19:4, 5.

17. Nkinyi kilombeene kukwasha mabaka a ano mafuku bwa kwikala na muloo na kutumbisha Efile Mukulu?

¹⁷ Kushi mpaka, lukalo lwenu ndwa shi dibaka dyenu dikale na muloo bu bibaadi dya Abrahame na Saraa sunga dya Isaake na Rebeka, adipu mafuku ebungi na aditumbisha Yehowa. Su mbyabya ikalayi na mweneno a Efile Mukulu pabitale dibaka. Kimbayi mu Eyi dyaaye bwa kupeta kapatupatu na binangu. Ikalayi na kifulo kya binyibinyi—“kaalo ka Yehowa”—nsaa yanwitulena mu binangu. (Ll. 8:6, NW) Kita moobe mooso bwa kwikala na kwiyisha. Neemeka mwina dibaka noobe. Su bokitshi byabya, dibaka dyoobe adikyebe nkusangasha obe nabeene mpa na Nshoobe e mwiyilu. (Mye. 27:11) Ungi mulume taadi bipwa 27 mu dibaka bafundile shi: “Ntampwandikisha shi ne kwikala na muwa kushii mukashi ande nya. Dibaka dyetu dikwete kwenda na kunyinga efuku dyooso. Bino byooso mmwanda wa kifulo kyetu bwa Yehowa na kwisambanga pamune efuku dyooso.”