Tindlela Tekwenta Umndeni Ujabule

Kuba Nebuhlobo Lobuhle Nebasekhakhakho

Jenny a utsi: Make waRyan abete emahloni ekungitjela kutsi akangitsandzi. Bekuphindze kube simo lesifananako nangaRyan nasivakashele batali bami. Ecinisweni, angikaze ngibabone batali bami baphatsa kabi umuntfu ngalendlela! Kuvakashela batali betfu bekusenta sitive sicindzetelekile.

Ryan utsi: Make bekatsi akekho umuntfu lobekalungele bantfwana bakhe, ngako wavele wangamemukeli Jenny kusukela ekucaleni. Nebatali baJenny bebenta lokufananako ngami—bebatsi angiyifaneli indvodzakati yabo. Inkinga kwaba kutsi sobabili besibavikela batali betfu futsi sikhulumisana kabi.

KUCABANA nebasekhakhakho ngaletinye tikhatsi kuyintfo labanye labahlekisa ngayo, kodvwa lena akusiyo intfo lokungahlekiswa ngayo. Reena waseNdiya utsi: “Sekuphele iminyaka leminyenti maketala wami angenela tindzaba temshado wetfu. Ngaso sonkhe sikhatsi bengikhiphela kutfukutsela kwami endvodzeni yami ngobe bengingeke ngikwente loko kumake wakhe. Bekubonakala shengatsi siyambanga, kudzingeke akhetse kutsi utsandza bani.”

Kungani labanye basemtini batifaka etindzabeni temshado webantfwababo? Jenny locashunwe ekucaleni kwalendzaba usho lokunye lokungahle kube yimbangela yaloku, utsi: “Kungenteka kutsi kumatima ngabo kwemukela kutsi indvodzana nobe indvodzakati yabo seyitawunakekelwa ngulomunye nje umuntfu losemusha futsi lote lwati lolunganani.” Indvodza yaReena, Dilip naye uyachaza utsi: “Batali labasebente matima kute bakhulise bantfwana babo kungenteka bativa shengatsi bakhishwa inyumbazana emphilweni yebantfwana babo. Kungenta bakhatsateke ngekutsi indvodzana nobe indvodzakati yabo ite kuhlakanipha lokungabamba likhaya.”

Ecinisweni, ngaletinye tikhatsi basemtini bafakwa ngibo bantfwana etindzabeni tabo. Nasi sibonelo saloko: Cabanga ngaMichael naLeanne labashadile e-Australia. Michael utsi: “Leanne uphuma emndenini losondzelene kakhulu longafihlelani lutfo. Ngako, ngemva kwekutsi sesishadile, abekhuluma nababetala wami ngetintfo  lokufanele sikhetse kutenta. Babetala wami abehlakaniphile futsi alusito kakhulu, kodvwa loko kwakungivisa buhlungu ngobe abecoca nababe wakhe kunekutsi acoce nami!”

Kuyacaca kutsi tinkinga letiba khona nebasemtini, tenta umshado ungajabulisi. Kunjalo yini nakuwe? Bunjani buhlobo bakho nebatali balomuntfu loshade naye, futsi bunjani buhlobo baloyo loshade naye nebatali bakho? Asesifundze ngetinkinga letimbili letingahle tibe khona kanye naloko longakwenta.

INKINGA 1: Lona loshade naye ubonakala asondzelene kakhulu nebatali bakhe. Luis waseSpain utsi: “Umfati wami ucabanga kutsi nangabe singeke sihlale edvute nalapho kuhlala khona batali bakhe, kutawuba shengatsi sewubalahlile.” Uphindze utsi: “Ngalesikhatsi kutalwa indvodzana yetfu, batali bami bebangapheli futsi loko bekungamphatsi kahle umfati wami. Loko kwabangela kutsi sihlale sicabana njalo.”

Emaciniso: LiBhayibheli nalichaza umshado litsi: “Indvodza iyawushiya uyise nenina inamatsele kumfati wayo, bese baba nyamanye.” (Genesisi 2:24) Kuba “nyamanye” akusho kumane nje nihlale ndzawonye. Ecinisweni, kusho kutsi indvodza nemfati bakha umndeni lomusha—lobaluleke kakhulu kwendlula imindeni yakubo. (1 Khorinte 11:3) Nobe kunjalo, indvodza nemfati kufanele bahloniphe batali babo, lokusho kutsi ngaletinye tikhatsi kufanele babe nesikhatsi sekucoca nabo. (Efesu 6:2) Kutsiwani nangabe loyo loshade naye acitsa sikhatsi lesinyenti kakhulu nebatali bakhe futsi loko kukwenta utive unganakwa?

Longakwenta: Cabanga ngaloko lokuyimbangela yaloko. Loyo loshade naye usondzelene kakhulu yini nebatali bakhe, nobe kungenteka kutsi wena awunabo buhlobo lobunjalo nebatali bakho? Nangabe kunjalo, ucabanga kutsi indlela lokhule ngayo inayiphi indzima kulendlela losibuka ngayo lesimo? Kungenteka yini kutsi nguwe lonemona?—Taga 14:30; 1 Khorinte 13:4; Galathiya 5:26.

Kudzingeka kutihlola ngekwetsembeka kute ukwati kuphendvula lemibuto. Kubalulekile kutsi nawe wente njalo. Ngetulu kwaloko, nangabe basekhakhakho bayimbangela yekucabana kwakho naloyo loshade naye, loko kusho kutsi lenkinga leninayo yinkinga yemshado—hhayi yasekhakhakho.

Tinkinga letinyenti emshadweni tibangelwa kutsi labo labashadile bangaboni tintfo ngendlela lefananako. Ungetama yini kubona tintfo ngendlela loshade naye latibona ngayo? (Filiphi 2:4; 4:5) Nguloko lenye indvodza yaseMexico libito layo lokungu-Adrián leyakwenta. Itsi: “Umfati wami wakhulela emndenini longayinaki indlela lativa ngayo lomunye. Ngako-ke, ngacala kukubalekela kuhlala nebasekhakhami. Ekugcineni ngakwala sibili kutihlanganisa nabo kwate kwaba yiminyaka leminyenti. Loko kwabangela kungevani emshadweni wetfu ngobe umfati wami abesafuna kusondzelana nemndeni wakubo, ikakhulukati make wakhe.”

Ngekuhamba kwesikhatsi Adrián wabona kutsi kuncono alinganisele kulendzaba. Utsi: “Nanobe ngati kutsi kuba nebakubo kwakulimata indlela umkami lativa ngayo, ngangingafuni kutsi achumane nabo ngobe ngibalekela tinkinga. Kudzimate kube ngunyalo, ngetamile kuphindze ngakhe buhlobo lobuhle nebasekhakhami.” b

ASE WETAME KWENTA LOKU: Wena naloyo loshade naye bhalani phasi loko lenikholelwa kutsi kunikhatsata kakhulu ngebasemitini. Nangabe kungenteka, calani ngemavi latsi “Ngitiva shengatsi . . . ” Ngemuva kwaloko shintjani emaphepha lebenibhala kuwo. Nobabili banini nemoya wekusebentisana futsi nicabangisise ngaloko lokungaba tindlela tekucatulula tinkinga letinikhatsatako kulomunye nalomunye.

INKINGA 2: Basekhakhakho bayachubeka bangenela tindzaba tasemshadweni wenu, baninika teluleko leningakaticeli. Nelya umfati waseKazakhstan utsi: “Iminyaka lesikhombisa yekucala yemshado wetfu sayicitsa sinebatali  bendvodza yami. Kwabakhona kungevani ngendlela lokufanele sikhulise bantfwana betfu kanye nendlela lengipheka futsi nalengilungisa ngayo indlu. Ngakhuluma nendvodza yami kanye namake tala wami ngalendzaba, loko kwabangela lokunye kungevani lokukhulu.”

Emaciniso: Nawushada, awusekho egunyeni lebatali bakho. Kunaloko, liBhayibheli litsi: “Inhloko yawo onkhe emadvodza nguKhristu, nenhloko yemfati yindvodza.” (1 Khorinte 11:3) Nobe kunjalo, njengobe sibonisile ekucaleni bobabili indvodza nemfati kufanele bahloniphe batali babo. Ecinisweni, incwadzi yeTaga 23:22 iyasitjela: “Lalelisisa uyihlo, ngobe nguye lowakutala; ungamedzeleli nenyoko ngobe asagugile.” Kepha kutsiwani nangabe batali bakho nobe batali baloshade naye bangalinaki liphuzu lekutsi indvodza iyinhloko yemndeni wayo, betama kuyifaka ngenkani imibono yabo?

Longakwenta: Ngemoya lophansi, tama kutfola loko lokubenta bente njalo. Ryan lesikhulume ngaye ekucaleni utsi: “Kuletinye timo batali bayakudzinga kwati kutsi babalulekile ekuphileni kwebantfwababo. Kungenela kwabo tindzaba tebantfwababo kungahle kungabi yintfo yemabomu futsi kungasingatfwa ngekusebentisa seluleko seliBhayibheli lesitsi: “Nibeketelelane, nitsetselelane, nangabe umuntfu akhube lomunye.” (Kholose 3:13) Kutsiwani nangabe lokungenela kwabo etindzabeni tenu kubangela kungevani lokukhulu emkhatsini wakho naloshade naye?

Labanye labashadile bafundze kubabekela imncele letsite batali babo. Loko akusho kutsi kufanele ubatjele ngendlela lenelukhahlo batali bakho. c Esikhatsini lesinyenti, kumane kusho kutsi kufanele ukwente kucace ngendlela lowenta ngayo tintfo kutsi loyo loshade naye uta kucala ekuphileni kwakho. Nasi sibonelo saloko: Masayuki indvodza yaseJapan utsi: “Ngisho nobe batali babeka imibono letsite, ungamane nje uvume ngaleso sikhatsi. Khumbula kutsi, wakha bunye bemndeni lomusha. Ngako-ke, cala ngendlela loyo loshade naye lativa ngayo ngaleseluleko.”

ASE WETAME KWENTA LOKU: Coca naloyo loshade naye ngetindlela letibangela kungevani kwenu emshadweni wenu ngekungenela kwebatali benu etindzabeni tenu. Nobabili bhalani imincele lenitababekela yona nendlela lenitawunamatsela ngayo kuyo ngesikhatsi lesifananako nibahloniphe batali benu.

Kungevani lokunyenti nebasekhakhakho kungancishiswa kucondza tinjongo tabo kanye nekubalekela kungevani lokubangela kucabana naloshade naye. Jenny uyavuma: “Ngaletinye tikhatsi kucoca kwami nendvodza yami ngebatali betfu bekuvisa buhlungu, bekuhlale kwenteka kutsi kube khona lova buhlungu ngesikhatsi sikhuluma ngemaphutsa ebatali betfu. Ekugcineni, safundza kuyekela kuvika ngemaphutsa ebatali betfu, kunaloko silungise leyonkinga ngaleso sikhatsi. Umphumela waloko ube muhle kakhulu ngobe sesisondzelene kakhulu njengendvodza nemfati.”

[Imibhalo lengentasi]

TIBUTE . . .

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