Tindlela Tekwenta Umndeni Ujabule

Namatsisela Timiso Tekutiphatsa Kubantfwana Bakho

Loida, a longumake waseMexico, utsi: “Emakhondomu asatfolakala melula esikolweni, futsi loku kwenta bantfwana bacabange kutsi kuya ecasini kulungile—kuphela nje nangabe bativikela.”

Nobuko, longumake waseJapan, utsi: “Ngabuta indvodzana yami kutsi nangabe kungenteka yona nentfombi yayo babe bodvwa, yini labebatawuyenta. Yatsi: ‘Angati.’”

NGESIKHATSI umntfwana wakho asemncane, bewenta konkhe longakwenta yini kute uciniseke kutsi likhaya lakho alibi netintfo letingamlimata? Mhlawumbe bewumbonya tintsambo tagezi, ufihla tintfo leticijile, futsi umalela kutsi ahambe etitebhisini—konkhe loku bewukwenta kute umvikele.

Kube mane kumelula ngalendlela kuvikela umntfwana wakho loseminyakeni yekutfomba. Nyalo sewukhatsatwa tintfo letinyenti, njengekutsi: ‘Indvodzana yami ayitibuki yini titfombe letingcolile?’ ‘Indvodzakati yami ayititfumeli yini titfombe tayo ingcunu ngamahlalekhikhini?’ Utibuta nembuto lowetfusa kuyendlula yonkhe, lotsi: ‘Umntfwana wami loseminyakeni yekutfomba sewuyaya yini ecasini?’

Umbono Loliphutsa Mayelana Nekugadza Umntfwana

Labanye batali betama kugadza bantfwana babo labaseminyakeni yekutfomba ngaso sonkhe sikhatsi, futsi banake konkhe labakwentako. Ngekuhamba kwesikhatsi, batfola kutsi lendlela yekugadza umntfwana imenta acale kufihla loko lakwentako. Ngesizatfu saloko, umntfwana ufundza likhono lekufihla kutiphatsa batali bakhe labatsi betama kukuvimba.

Kuyacaca-ke kutsi kugadza umntfwana akuphumeleli. Nkulunkulu Jehova ngekwakhe akayisebentisi lendlela kute ente tidalwa takhe timlalele ngenkhani, futsi nawe njengemtali akukafaneli uyisebentise. (Dutheronomi 30:19) Ngako-ke, ungamsita njani umntfwana wakho loseminyakeni yekutfomba kutsi ente tincumo letihlakaniphile tekutiphatsa?—Taga 27:11.

Intfo lebalulekile lokufanele uyente, kuba nesikhatsi sekucoca nebantfwana bakho futsi loko ukucale basebancane. b (Taga 22:6) Ngisho nalapho sebacale kutfomba, chubeka ucoca nabo. Njengemtali, kufanele ube ngumtfombo loyinhloko wekwatiswa lokwetsembekile kwebantfwana bakho. Alicia,  intfombatane yaseBrithani, utsi: “Bantfu labanyenti bacabanga kutsi sikubona kuncono kukhuluma nebangani ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini, kodvwa loku akusilo liciniso. Siyajabula nangabe lokwatiswa ngaletindzaba sikutfola kubatali betfu, ngobe siyakwetsemba loko labasuke basitjela kona.”

Sidzingo Sekuba Netimiso Letinhle

Njengobe bakhula, bantfwana badzinga kwati lokwengetiwe mayelana nekuya ecasini kunekumane bati ngesicalo sekuphila kwemuntfu. Kufanele babe ‘nemicondvo lehlutekile, leseyikwati kwehlukanisa lokuhle nalokubi.’ (Hebheru 5:14) Ngalamanye emavi, badzinga kuba netimiso leticinile tekutiphatsa mayelana nekutsi ngukuphi kutiphatsa lokufanele ngekwelicasi—futsi baphile ngekuvumelana nato. Ungatinamatsisela njani timiso letinhle kumntfwana wakho loseminyakeni yekutfomba?

Cala ngekuhlolisisa timiso takho. Nasi sibonelo: Ungase ukholelwe ngalokucinile kutsi bundlundlulu—lokukulalana kwebantfu labangakashadi—kubi. (1 Thesalonika 4:3) Kungenteka nekutsi bantfwana bakho bayawati umbono wakho ngalendzaba, futsi bate bakwati nekusho emavesi eliBhayibheli lasekela tinkholelo takho. Nababutwa, bangase bavele baphendvule ngekushesha batsi kuya ecasini ungakashadi kubi.

Nanobe kunjalo, kudzingeka lokwengetiwe. Incwadzi letsi “Sex Smart” iveta kutsi bantfu labasha bangasho kutsi bayavumelana netinkholelo tebatali babo letimayelana nekuya ecasini. Lencwadzi itsi: “Abatetsembi kutsi bangakwati kuba nemibono yabo. Nabahlangabetana nesimo lesingakalindzeleki, nalapho kufanele bakhetse kutsi ngukuphi kutiphatsa lokufanele nalokungakafaneli, batitfola badidekile futsi basenkingeni lenkhulu.” Lesi sizatfu lesiyinhloko lesenta timiso tibaluleke. Ungamsita njani umntfwana wakho loseminyakeni yekutfomba kutsi abe naletimiso?

Yenta timiso takho ticace. Uyakholelwa yini kutsi kuya ecasini kuvumeleke emshadweni kuphela? Ngako-ke, tjela umntfwana wakho njalo, nangalokucacile. Ngekusho kwencwadzi letsi “Beyond the Big Talk,” luhlolo luveta kutsi “emakhaya lapho batali baye batjele bantfwana babo ngalokucacile kutsi bamelene nekuya ecasini kwebantfu labasha, labo bantfwana baba sematfubeni lamahle ekungasheshi kungenela tindzaba tekuya ecasini.”

Njengobe kuvetiwe ekucaleni, kuliciniso kutsi kumane ubatjele timiso takho akusho kutsi bantfwana bakho batawuphila ngato. Nanobe kunjalo, kuba netimiso leticacile letitawucondzisa umndeni wakho kutawusita bantfwana kutsi babe nesisekelo lesicinile sekwakha timiso tabo. Luhlolo lolunyenti luveta kutsi ekugcineni bantfwana bayatisebentisa timiso tebatali babo ngisho nobe bebabonakala shengatsi abatisebentisi eminyakeni yabo yekutfomba.

YETAMA LOKU: Sebentisa indzaba lesematseni kute ucale kucoca nabo futsi ubachazele timiso takho. Nasi sibonelo: Nangabe kunembiko lomayelana nelicala lekuhlukunyetwa ngekwelicasi, ungase utsi: “Iyangicansula indlela labanye bantfu labadvuna labadlala ngayo ngebantfu besifazane. Nicabanga kutsi bayifundza kuphi imikhuba lenjena?”

Bafundzise lonkhe liciniso mayelana nekuya ecasini. Tecwayiso tibalulekile. (1 Khorinte 6:18; Jakobe 1:14, 15) Nanobe kunjalo, liBhayibheli livame kuchaza kuya ecasini njengalokusipho lesivela kuNkulunkulu, hhayi njengesicupho saSathane. (Taga 5:18, 19; Ingoma Yetingoma 1:2) Kutjela bantfwana bakho ngetingoti tekuya ecasini kuphela kungabenta babe nembono loliphutsa ngako, futsi longavumelani nemibhalo. Lenye intfombatane yaseFrance, libito layo lokungu-Corrina itsi: “Batali bami bakhuluma kakhulu ngekungatiphatsi kahle ngekwelicasi, futsi loko kungenta ngibe nembono longasimuhle ngekuya ecasini.”

Ciniseka kutsi bantfwana bakho bati lonkhe liciniso mayelana nekuya ecasini. Lomunye make waseMexico libito lakhe lokungu-Nadia utsi: “Intfo lebengiloku ngilwela kuyifaka etinhlitiyweni tebantfwana bami kutsi kuya ecasini kuyintfo lenhle futsi lengekwemvelo, Nkulunkulu Jehova layinikete bantfu kute bajabule. Nanobe kunjalo, bengibatjela kutsi indzawo yako lefanele kusemshadweni. Kuya ecasini kungasijabulisa nobe kusilimate, kuye ngekutsi sikusebentisa njani.”

YETAMA LOKU: Nawuphindze ucoca ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini nemntfwana wakho loseminyakeni yekutfomba, mente acaphele buhle bako. Ungesabi kumtjela kutsi kuya ecasini kusipho lesiligugu lesivela kuNkulunkulu, kanye nekutsi angasijabulela esikhatsini lesitako nasashadile. Veta kuba kwakho nelitsemba lekutsi umntfwana wakho utawutilalela timiso taNkulunkulu kute kube ngulapho ashada.

 Sita umntfwana wakho acabangisise ngemiphumela. Kute bantfwana labaseminyakeni yekutfomba bakwati kwenta tincumo letihlakaniphile ekuphileni kwabo, kufanele batati tintfo labangakhetsa kuto bese babona imiphumela lemihle kanye nalemibi yekukhetsa kwabo. Ungacabangi kutsi kumane bati lokulungile kanye nalokungakalungi kwenele. Lomunye make longumKhristu lohlala e-Australia, libito lakhe lokungu-Emma utsi: “Nangibuka emaphutsa lengawenta ngisemusha, ngiphetsa ngekutsi kumane wati timiso taNkulunkulu akusho kutsi uvumelana nato. Kunaloko, kubalulekile kucondza tinzuzo taleto timiso kanye nemiphumela letfolakala ngekutephula.”

LiBhayibheli lingaba lusito, ngobe imitsetfo yalo leminyenti ihambisana nemavi laveta imiphumela letfolakala ngekwenta lokubi. Sibonelo saloko kutsi incwadzi yeTaga 5:8, 9 yeluleka emajaha kutsi abalekele bundlundlulu kute ‘ludvumo lwawo lungatsatfwa ngulabanye bantfu.’ Njengobe lamavesi aveta, kuya ecasini ngembikwekutsi umuntfu ashade kucedza sitfunti sakhe, kumvimbe kutsi ente loko lokufunwa nguNkulunkulu, futsi kumente aphelelwe kutihlonipha. Loku kutawumenta angatsandzeki kumuntfu labekangashada naye futsi lonaletimfanelo letinhle. Kucabangisisa ngetingoti tenyama, temivelo kanye netakamoya tekungayinaki imitsetfo yaNkulunkulu, kutawusita umntfwana wakho loseminyakeni yekutfomba kutsi atimisele kuyigcina. c

YETAMA LOKU: Sebentisa imifanekiso kute usite umntfwana wakho loseminyakeni yekutfomba abone kuhlakanipha kwetimiso taNkulunkulu. Ungase utsi: “Umlilo lobaselwe kupheka muhle, kodvwa umlilo wekushisa emahlatsi mubi. Uyini umehluko kuloku lokubili, futsi imphendvulo yakho isebenta njani eminceleni Nkulunkulu layibekile mayelana nekuya ecasini?” Sebentisa kulandzisa lokusencwadzini yeTaga 5:3-14 kute usite umntfwana wakho acondze imiphumela leyingoti letfolakala ngekuya ecasini ungakashadi.

Takao, loneminyaka lengu-18 budzala, futsi lohlala eJapan, utsi: “Ngiyati kutsi kufanele ngente lokulungile, kodvwa kunesidzingo sekutsi ngichubeke ngilwisana netifiso tenyama.” Bantfu labasha labativa ngalendlela bangadvudvuteka ngekwati liciniso lekutsi abasibodvwana. Ngisho nemphostoli Pawula—lobekangumKhristu lowetsembekile, wavuma: “Nangifuna kwenta lokulungile, lokubi kunami shaca.”—Roma 7:21.

Bantfwana labaseminyakeni yekutfomba kufanele bacondze kutsi loko akusikubi. Kunaloko, kungabenta bacabangisise ngekutsi bafuna kuba bantfu labanjani. Kungabenta batibute nangumbuto: ‘Ngiyafuna yini kulawula kuphila kwami futsi ngatiwe njengemuntfu lonetimiso tekutsi ngukuphi kutiphatsa lokulungile nalokwemukeleka kuNkulunkulu, nobe ngifuna kuba ngutsatsekile—lokungumuntfu lowenetisa tonkhe tifiso takhe?’ Kuba netimiso letinhle tekutiphatsa kungasita umntfwana wakho loseminyakeni yekutfomba kutsi aphendvule lombuto ngekuhlakanipha.

[Imibhalo lengentansi]

TIBUTE . . .

▪ Yini lengiyibonako lengikhombisa kutsi umntfwana wami loseminyakeni yekutfomba unetimiso leticinile tekutiphatsa?

▪ Nangicoca nemntfwana wami loseminyakeni yekutfomba mayelana nekuya ecasini, ngivame kukuchaza njengalokusipho lesivela kuNkulunkulu yini nobe njengalokusicupho saSathane?

[Libhokisi ekhasini 21]

LiBhayibheli Liye Laba Sicondziso Lesincono Kunato Tonkhe

“Sicondziso seliBhayibheli lesimayelana nekutiphatsa ngekwelicasi siye sachubeka sisebenta kuwo wonkhe umlandvo. Kulesikhatsi lapho bantfu labasha labanyenti batfola imiphumela lebuhlungu lengekwemivelo lebangelwa kuya ecasini basebancane, kukhulelwa bangakashadi, ingculaza kanye naletinye tifo letitsatselwana ngekuya ecasini, seluleko semiBhalo lesimayelana nekulindza ute ushade . . . ngiso lesibaluleke kakhulu, lesisivikelo, futsi lesisebentako.”—Parenting Teens With Love and Logic.