Ɛtɛkɛta wa lowando wekɔ ohomba dia diwala monga l’ɔngɛnɔngɛnɔ. Koko waomi ndo wadi efula hawɛnyi waonga w’amɛna w’elonganyi awɔ ndo hawatondjɛ ɛtɛkɛta wa lowando. Lo dibuku L’infidélité affective (lo Angɛlɛ), ondaki ɔmɔtshi mbutaka dia atshukanyi efula waya le nde “ndekaka mbidja yimba efula lo kɛnɛ kahasalema [lo diwala diawɔ] oleki kɛnɛ kasalema. Etena kognawɔ lo biro ami, vɔ mbutɛkami awui wahomba tshikitanyema koko aha wanɛ wahomba ntshikala woho wewɔ. Munga kele l’atshukanyi asɔ tshɛ ele vɔ hawɛnyanya ngandji lo monga la lowando.”

Ngande wakokayɛ wɛ la olonganyi ayɛ mbewɔ djonga shɔ?

Ɛtɛkɛta wa lowando koka nshidiya ekiyanu wa lo diwala. Naka wadi l’omi mbidja weolo dia mɛna ndo mbeya waonga w’ɛlɔlɔ w’onto l’onto, kete diɔtɔnganelo diele lam’asawɔ diayolowana. Ɛtɛkɛta wa lowando koka ntutsha nkɛlɛ kaanga wonya watomba ewanu wa wolo.

Le wadi. Dibuku L’infidélité affective diakatatɛkɛtshi la diko mɛnyaka dia “wamato efula mbidjaka apami pɛpɔ yambotamba elelo dia nkotsha ehomba wa lo nkumbo.” Lo ahole amɔtshi, pɛpɔ shɔ koka monga kaanga ndo wonya wakondjawɔ difuto di’oma l’olimu.

Le waomi. Mbala efula, apami mɔnyɔlaka welo wadja wadɛwɔ dia nsukɛ ase luudu oyadi l’olimu wakambawɔ, lo wodielo w’ana kana elimu wa la ngelo. Fiona * lambotshukana suke l’ɛnɔnyi esato mbutaka ate: “Sho tshɛ salaka munga, ndo etena kasalami munga, dimi ndjaokaka kɔlɔ. Koko etena kambutɛ omɛmi dia lakasadi dui dimɔtshi dia dimɛna laa ngelo, ɛnyɛlɔ oko elimu wa lo luudu, dimi shihodiaka dia nde ekɔ lo ntetemala nangami kaanga mbemi la wandja. Dimi ndjaokaka nto dia nde ekɔ lo sukɛmi ndo dimi mongaka l’ɔngɛnɔngɛnɔ.”

Lo wedi okina, naka olonganyi ekɔ lo ndjaoka oko ɛngɔ k’anyanya, kete dui sɔ koka ndanya kɔlamelo ya lo diwala. Valerie lele womoto lotshukami mbutaka ate: “Naka wɛ mɛnaka dia olonganyi ayɛ hakandola, kete ekɔ dui dia wɔdu dia wɛ ndjokutɔma otsha le onto okina layokandolaka.”

Onga onto lasɛdingola akambo. Lomingu layaye, kɔsɛdingole waonga w’ɛlɔlɔ wayɔkɛnɛmɔla olonganyi ayɛ. Ndo nto, kɔsɛdingole awui wende l’ɔkɛndɛ wa nsala dia luudu monga dimɛna, mbuta ate wele ondo polo ɛlɔ wɛ hawaɛnyi dia wekɔ ohomba. L’ekomelo ka lomingu, sala listɛ la 1) awui wɔngɛnyingɛnyiyɛ le olonganyi ayɛ ndo 2) awui wosadinde lo wahɔ wa nkumbo.—Tɔndɔ dia lo Bible: Filipɛ 4:8.

Lande na kele sɛdingolaka akambo ekɔ dimɛna? Erika lele womoto lotshukami mbutaka ate: “Ɛnɔnyi engana l’ɔkɔngɔ wa wɛ tshukana, wɛ koka ntatɛ monga la lɔhɛndɛ otsha le olonganyi ayɛ. Wɛ ayotshika mɛna awui w’ɛlɔlɔ wasala olonganyi ayɛ ndo ayoleka mbika washo paka lo kɛnɛ kahandasale.”

Yambola ɔnɛ: ‘Onde dimi mbɔsaka la nɛmɔ olimu wa wolo wakamba olonganyi ami?’ Ɛnyɛlɔ, naka omɛyɛ ambɔlɔngɔsɔla diangɔ dimɔtshi dia lo luudu, onde wɛ ayotona mbosha losaka l’ɔtɛ w’ɔnɛ ɔsɔ ekɔ ɔkɛndɛ ande? Naka wɛ ekɔ omi, onde wɛ mbɔsaka dia wɛ hakoke mandola wadɛyɛ lo welo wadjande lo wodielo w’ana nɛ dia nde ekɔ lo nsala kɛnɛ kahombande nsala? Yadjɛ oyango wa mɛnaka ndo mandolaka welo tshɛ wadja olonganyi ayɛ lo wahɔ wa nkumbo kanyu oyadi yema tshitshɛ kana efula mbewɔ.—Tɔndɔ dia lo Bible: Rɔmɔ 12:10.

Andolande la ɔngɛnɔngɛnɔ tshɛ. Bible hate tsho dia sho pombaka monga la lowando, koko tɔ totɛka ɔnɛ: “Nyɛnya dia nyekɔ la lowando.” (Kɔlɔsayi 3:15) Ɔnkɔnɛ, sala la wolo dia monga la mbekelo ka mandolaka olonganyi ayɛ. James lele omi mbutaka ate: “Etena kamandola wadɛmi lo akambo wasalami, dui sɔ tshutshuyakami dia dimi ndeka nsala la wolo dia monga omi l’oshika ndo mfudia welo wadjami lo wahɔ wa diwala diaso.”—Tɔndɔ dia lo Bible: Kɔlɔsayi 4:6.

Waomi ndo wadi wandɔna lam’asawɔ keketshaka diɔtɔnganelo diawɔ. Michael lele omi mbutaka ate: “Dimi mbetawɔka dia awala efula koka ntshikala pondjo naka elonganyi ntetemala mbika washo lo kɛnɛ kalanga onto l’onto le osekande. Etena katomba ekakatanu, atshukanyi hawonge suke dia ndjaka diwala nɛ dia vɔ tetemalaka mbohɔ awui w’amɛna wasalanɛwɔ.”