Bakubusi Balabuzya

Nkaambo nzi bazyali bangu ncobatandisyomi?

“Ndilombozya kuti bazyali bangu nibali kundileka kandileendela. Tandaambi kuti ndiyanda kuunkila limwi. Ndiyanda buyo kwaakubona bacizyi baba taata, bamaama kakunyina kuyeeya kuti ndiza ndiyanda kuzwa aŋanda.”—Sarah wamyaka iili 18. *

“Lyoonse ndilaakubabuzya bazyali bangu ncobatandisyomeni nondibaambila kuti ndiyanda kwaakusobana abeenzuma. Bunji bwaziindi bandaambila kuti: ‘Tulakusyoma. Nkuti buyo tatubasyomi beenzyinyoko.’ Cilandicima kapati ikuti baamba boobo”—Christine wamyaka iili 18.

LUSYOMO luli mbuli mali. Kwaajana cilakatazya, kusweekelwa ncuuba-uba alimwi kufwumbwa naa mali nzi ngomwapegwa kunyina naamvwula pe. Musimbi wamyaka iili 16 wazyina lya Iliana waamba kuti: “Ikuti naa ndayanda kuunka kwaakuswaya kumwi, bazyali bangu balaakundibuzya kujatikizya nkondiya, bantu mbonduunka limwi, ncotuya kwaakucita aciindi ncotulaajoke. Ndilizyi kuti mbazyali bangu pele cilandicima nobandibuzya mibuzyo iili boobo!”

Sena ulimvwa kuti ziindi zimwi bazyali bako bayandika kukusyoma? Ikuti naa mboobo, ncinzi nconga wacita kujatikizya makani aaya? Cakutaanguna atulange-lange makani aakusyomana ncaakatazya kapati akati kabazyali banji abakubusi.

Kutamvwana Akati Kabazyali Abana

Ibbaibbele lyaamba kuti ‘Mwaalumi uyakubasiya bausyi abanyina.’ (Matalikilo 2:24) Masimpe, ncimwi buyo awalo mukaintu. Kufwumbwa naa uli musankwa naa musimbi, mulimo uuyandika nokubuka ngwakupa kuti ulibambile kunyamuna mikuli waakukomena—ciindi noya kuzwa aŋanda ambweni akuba amukwasyi wako.

Nokuba boobo, ikukomena takuli mbuli mulyango ngokonzya kujalula wasika aciimo cimwi. Kubukuka kuli mbuli kuntanta manela asyoonto-syoonto. Masimpe, yebo abazyali bako mulakonzya kuba amizeezo iindene kujatikizya mpowasika kutanta manela. Maria uulimvwa kuti tabamusyomi caboola kumakani aakusala balongwe, wakaamba kuti: “Ndilaamyaka iili 20 pele baciyanda kundisalila balongwe! Bazyali bangu bayeeya kuti inga ndaalilwa kulilemeka ikuti ndajanika mubukkale bubi. Ndakasola kubaambila kuti ndakalilemeka beenzuma nibakali kucita zyintu zyibi, pele balo tabandisyomi!”

Kweelana ambwaakaamba Maria, makani aakusyomana alakonzya kupa kutamvwana akati kabakubusi abazyali. Sena mbocibede oobo mumukwasyi wanu? Ikuti naa mboobo, mbuti mbokonzya kucita kutegwa kabakusyoma bazyali  bako? Alimwi ikuti kabatakusyomi akaambo kazyintu zimwi nzyookacita, ino ncinzi ncokonzya kucita kutegwa batalike kukusyoma?

Kotondezya Kuti Ulasyomeka

Mwaapostolo Paulo wakalembela Banakristo bamumwaanda wamyaka wakusaanguna kuti: “Amulilingule nubeni.” (2 Ba-Korinto 13:5) Masimpe, tanaakali kwaambila bana bacibukuka pe. Pele njiisyo eeyi ilabeleka kuli mbabo. Bantu kanji-kanji balakonzya kukusyoma naa kutakusyoma kweelana ambolilemeka. Tatwaambi kuti weelede kuba muntu uulondokede. Nkaambo muntu uuli woonse ulalubizya. (Mukambausi 7:20) Nokuba boobo, sena kulilemeka kwako kupa kuti bazyali bako kabatakusyomi?

Mucikozyanyo, Paulo wakalemba kuti: “Tuyanda kuti tululame, tubule akampenda.” (Ba-Hebrayo 13:18) Kolibuzya kuti, ‘Ino ndijisi mpuwo iili buti caboola kumakani aakwaambila bazyali bangu nkondiya ancondiya kwaakucita?’ Langa-langa ncobakaamba bakubusi bamwi ibakalilingula mumakani aaya.

Lori: “Cakusisikizya ndakali kumulembela tugwalo twaakkompyuta musankwa ngundakali kuyanda. Bazyali bangu nobakazyiba bakandaambila kuti ndicileke. Ndakabaambila kuti ndilacileka pesi tiindakacileka. Ndakazumanana kucita boobo kwamwaka. Ndakali kumulembela musankwa, bunji bwaziindi bazyali bangu bakali kuzyiba, ndimane ndakali kulilekelela akubaambila kuti ndacileka pele ndakazumanana. Cakazyikusika aciimo cakuti bazyali bangu bakaleka kundisyoma!”

Ino uyeeya kuti nkaambo nzi bazyali ba Lori ncobakaleka kumusyoma, alimwi ino Lori wakeelede kulilemeka buti naakaambilwa penzi ndyaakajisi? Kolemba bwiinguzi bwako ansi aawa.

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Beverly: “Bazyali bangu tiibakali kundisyoma caboola kumakani aabasankwa, pele lino ndilizyi ncobakali kucitila boobo. Ndakali kusobana abasankwa bali mbobabede bakali kundiinda amyaka yobilo yakuzyalwa. Alimwi ndakali kubandika ambabo aluwaile kwaciindi cilamfwu alimwi ikuti kakuli pobwe ndakali kubandika ambabo kakunyina kubandika abantu bamwi. Bazyali bangu bakandinyanga luwaile kwamwezi omwe alimwi tiibakali kundizumizya kuunka kumasena nkobakali kujanika basankwa aabo.”

Ino uyeeya kuti nkaambo nzi bazyali ba Beverly ncobatakali kumusyoma kwaciindi cili mbocibede alimwi ncinzi ncaakeelede kucita kutegwa batalike kumusyoma?

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Annette: “Nindacili kucikolo ku pulaimali, mebo amweenzuma twakanyamunizya bukoko kuzwa kupobwe—nokuba kuti twakalizyi kuti bazyali besu tabakatuzumizyi—twakasala kubunywa ciindi cimwi kutegwa tulikkomanisye. Kagabba kabukoko nkaakajisi mweenzuma bakakabona banyina. Mpoonya banyina mweenzuma abazyali bangu bakazyiba kuti andime ndakali jisi. Cakainda kubija kapati ncakuti bamaama bakatyompwa kapati!”

Ikuti Annette kali musyoonto wako, ino ndulayo nzi ndokeelede kumupa kutegwa batalike kumusyoma banyoko?

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 Kusyomwa Alimwi

Kweelana abakubusi baambwa atala aawa, ino ncinzi ncoyelede kucita ikuti naa bazyali bako baleka kukusyoma akaambo kamicito yako? Ikuti naa mbocibede oobo, weelede kucinca kutegwa batalike kukusyoma alimwi. Pele, mbuti mbokonzya kucita oobo?

Bazyali bako balakonzya kukusyoma kapati ikuti watalika kulilemeka. Mucikozyanyo: Kweezyeezya muntu uujisi cikwelete kubbanga. Ikuti kajola mali lyoonse, babbanga baya kumusyoma kapati alimwi balakonzya kumukweletesya aambi kumbele. Mboceelede kuba akuŋanda. Ikuti kosyomeka nomuba mutuntu tusyoonto bazyali bako banakukusyoma.

Annette wakakazyiba kaambo aaka kamasimpe. Waamba kuti: “Nocili muniini tokonzyi kuzyiba kuti kusyomwa kulayandika kapati. Lino ndilabikkila maano alimwi ndilacita zyintu munzila iikonzya kundigwasya kutegwa bazyali bangu batalike kundisyoma alimwi.” Ino nciiyo nzi nconga wayiya kuli ceeci? Muciindi cakutongooka kuti bazyali bako tabakusyomi, weelede kulilemeka kutegwa kabakusyoma.

Mucikozyanyo, sena ulasyomeka muzyintu eezyi zyalembwa ansi aawa? Kkwenyuna mukabbokesi katondezya zyintu nzyoyandika kubambulula.

□ Kusika aŋanda kweelana aciindi ncondakaambilwa abazyali bangu

□ Kumuka

□ Kumanizya milimo

□ Kusalazya mundoona

□ Kubelesya luwaile

□ Kuzuzikizya nzyondakasyomezya

□ Kwaabelesya kabotu mali

□ Kufwambaana kubuka

□ Kwaamba masimpe

□ Kuzumina kuti ndalubizya akulilekelela

□ Twaambo tumwi ․․․․․

Ino ulekelanzi kutondezya kuti ulasyomeka mumbazu eezyi nzyookkwenyuna? Kotobela lulayo lujanika mu Bbaibbele lwakuti: “Muleelede kuleka ziyanza zyanu zyaciindi abuntu bwanu bukulukulu.” (Ba-Efeso 4:22) “Pele kwaamba kwanu akube Ii, ii.” (Jakobo 5:12) “[A]mwaambe lusinizyo umwi aumwi kumweenzinyina.” (Ba-Efeso 4:25) “Amuswiilile bazyali banu mumakani oonse.” (Ba-Kolose 3:20) Mukuya kwaciindi bazyali bako abantu bamwi bayakubona kuti ucita kabotu.—1 Timoteo 4:15.

Pele ino mbuti kuti bazyali bako tabakusyomi nokuba kuti wasola kucita ziyandika? Ndiza inga wabandika ambabo kujatikizya makani aaya. Muciindi cakutongooka kuti bayandika kukusyoma, cabulemu kobabuzya ncoyelede kucita kutegwa kabakusyoma. Kobapanduluda ncoyanda kucita mumakani aaya.

Utayeeyi kuti bazyali bako balacinca mpeenaawo. Kakunyina akudooneka bayanda kubona kuti ulazyitobela nzyoobasyomezya. Eeci nceciindi ncoyelede kutondezya kuti ulasyomeka. Mukuya kwaciindi bazyali bako balakonzya kukusyoma. Oobo mbocakabede kuli Beverly waambwa kale. Waamba kuti: “Cilakatazya kapati kutegwa batalike kukusyoma alimwi tacikatazyi kuleka kusyomwa. Bakatalika kundisyoma lino alimwi ndilimvwa kabotu!”

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Bupanduluzi buyungizidwe

ZYAKUYEEYESYA

▪ Nkaambo nzi bazyali bako ncobatakusyomi nokuba kuti ulasoleka kutondezya kuti ulasyomeka?

▪ Ikuti koyanda kuti bazyali bako kabakusyoma, nkaambo nzi kubandika ambabo ncokuyandika?

[Majwi aakwelelezya sikubala aali apeeji 30]

Weelede kulilemeka kutegwa kabakusyoma

[Citondezyo/Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 29]

Kubukuka akuba muntu uusyomeka kuli mbuli kuntanta manela asyoonto-syoonto

[Citondezyo]

(Kutegwa mubone bwini mbwaakkede mabala, amubone bbuku lini)

KUBUKUKA

KUKOMENA

MWANA