Buyumuyumu Bujanika Mumikwasyi Muli Bana naa Bazyali Bakujana

● Syaazibwene mumakani aajatikizya mikwasyi muli bana naa bazyali bakujana, Dr. Patricia Papernow, wakaamba kuti kubamba twaambo mumukwasyi muli bana naa bazyali bakujana kubelesya nzila njomwakali kubelesya mumukwasyi wanu wakusaanguna cili mbuli ‘kuyabweenda mumigwagwa yadolopo limwi pesi kamubelesya maapu yadolopo limbi.’

Masimpe ngakuti buyumuyumu bujanika mumikwasyi iijisi bana naa bazyali bakujana bulilibedelede alimwi mbupati kwiinda boobo mbobajana aabo batali mumikwasyi iili boobu. Syaabupampu William Merkel, wakaamba kuti tacili cilengwa kuba mumukwasyi uli aabana naa bazyali bakujana alimwi “mbukkale bukatazya kapati mubuumi bwabantu” ikuba mumukwasyi uuli boobu.

Kuti kacikatazya boobo, ino mukwasyi uujisi bana naa bazyali bakujana inga wazwidilila buti? Zilongwe zili mumikwasyi iili boobu, zilakonzya kweezyanisyigwa atusani ntobabelesya kusuma cidakanya. Nokuba kuti ciindi nobatalika kusuma inga tulibonya kuti tatuli tuyumu, pele kuti twasumwa kabotu, tulajatana kabotu alimwi cidakanya cilayuma kapati.

Lino atulange-lange buyumuyumu bumwi budumide kapati mbobajana bali mumikwasyi eeyi alimwi anzila zyabagwasya banji kutegwa kabamvwana. Kwamana, tulabala kujatikizya mikwasyi yone yazwidilila.

 BUYUMUYUMU BWAKUSAANGUNA: CIINDI NOZYATACITIKA NZYOMWALI KULANGILA

“Ndakali kulangila kuti kubatondezya luyando alimwi akubabikkila maano bana bangu bakujana kuyoobapa kuti bandiyande, pele lino kwainda myaka iili lusele ndicilimvwa kuti tabananditambula pe.”—Oobu mbobakaamba ba Gloria. *

KANJI-KANJI aabo banjila mucikwati muli bana bakujana inga balangila kuti cikwati cabo ciyoozwidilila. Bazyali inga bajisi bulangizi bwakuti bayoobambulula bulubizi bwakali mucikwati cakaindi alimwi akujana luyando naa bukwabilizi mbobatakajisi. Ambweni bulangizi bumwi mbwakweezeezya buyo, pele kufwumbwa bulangizi bwatazuzikizyigwa bupa kukopana mumizeezo. Mbubwenya mbuli mbolyaamba Bbaibbele kuti: “Bulangizi butafwambi kuzuzikizigwa bulacisya moyo.” (Tusimpi 13:12) Mbuti kuti zyintu nzyomwali kulangila zimupa kunyongana mumizeezo?

NCOMUKONZYA KUCITA

Mweelede kubikkila maano mbomulimvwa, tamweelede kuyeeya kuti kutyompwa kulamana kolikke. Muciindi caboobo, amuzizyibe zyintu nzyomwali kulangila zyatacitika zyalo zimupa kutyompwa. Kumane, mweelede kuzyiba kaambo ncomuzilangila zyintu eezyo kutegwa mumvwisye ncomukakatila kulinzizyo. Camamanino, amusoleke kuzyiba cintu ncomukonzya kulangila calino. Nzeezyi zikozyanyo zimwi:

1. Kuzwa kumatalikilo ndinoobayanda bana bangu bakujana alimwi abalo banoondiyanda.

Nkaambo nzi? Lyoonse ndali kulombozya kuba mumukwasyi uukkomene.

Ncomukonzya kulangila: Mukuyakwaciindi luyando lwesu akati kaumwi amweenzinyina luyookomena. Ciyandika lino ncakuti tulakonzya kulimvwa kukwabililwa alimwi akulemekwa mumukwasyi.

2. Umwi aumwi mumukwasyi ooyu mupya uyoocinca cakufwambaana.

Nkaambo nzi? Tulilibambilide kutalika kabotu alimwi.

Ncomukonzya kulangila: Mumikwasyi muli bana naa bazyali bakujana, ziindi zinji citola myaka akati kayone aciloba kutegwa ikkalikane. Aboobo, buyumuyumu mbotujisi bulalangilwa.

3. Tatunookazyanyi kujatikizya mali.

Nkaambo nzi? Luyando ndotujisi luyootugwasya kumana mapenzi masyoonto-syoonto.

Ncomukonzya kulangila: Makani aajatikizya mali aamucikwati cakaindi alakatazya kapati. Ambweni tucinooyoowa kwaabana mali eesu woonse.

 BUYUMUYUMU BWABILI: MBOMUKONZYA KUZYIBANA

“Twakafwambaana kucinca—umwi aumwi mumukwasyi mupya ooyu wakalimvwa kwaanguluka mpoonya-mpoonya.” —Oobu mbobakaamba ba Yoshito.

“Kwakainda myaka iibalilwa kukkumi kuti ndigwasyilizye cakumaninina mumukwasyi wesu mupya kutegwa uzwidilile.”—Oobu mbwaakaamba Tatsuki, mwana musankwa wakujana waba Yoshito.

MBUBWENYA mbuli ba Yoshito a Tatsuki, banamukwasyi muli bana abazyali bakujana inga kabatazyibene kabotu bwini mbobabede. Nkaambo nzi kaambo aaka ncokayandika kubikkila maano? Ciindi nikwaba mapenzi, mulakonzya kwaamana cakufwambaana. Pele kutegwa mucite zyintu cabusungu, cakusaanguna mweelede kuuzyiba kabotu mukwasyi wanu.

Cilayandika kubikkila maano mbomubandika, nkaambo majwi ngotwaamba alakonzya kumwaya naa kuyaka. Mbubwenya Bbaibbele mbolyaamba kuti: “Lufu abuumi, zyoonse zili mujanza lyalulimi; kufumbwa baluyanda balalya micelo yalo.” (Tusimpi 18:21) Mbuti mbomukonzya kubelesya lulimi lwanu kutegwa kamumvwana mukwaambaula?

NCOMUKONZYA KUCITA

• Mweelede kubikkila maano alimwi akuba alweetelelo kujatikizya mbwalimvwa umwi aumwi muciindi cakubabeteka. Mucikozyanyo:

Kuti mwanaanu musankwa waamba kuti, “Ndabayeeya bataata,” amuzumine kuti wabayeeya ncobeni. Muciindi cakwaamba kuti, “Pele bauso bakujana balakuyanda alimwi bali kabotu kwiinda bauso bakakuzyala,” amwaambe kuti: “Kweelede kuti cilakukatazya mumoyo. Kondaambila, ncinzi ncoyeeya kapati kujatikizya bauso?”

Muciindi cakutamikizya ngomukwetene limwi mupya kwiinda mukwaamba kuti, “Mwanaanu tajisi bulemu nkaambo tamuli bazyali bali kabotu,” amutondezye mbomulimvwa. Amwaambe kuti: “Ndalomba kuti mumwaambile Luka kuti kandaanzya naa wasika aŋanda? Cilakonzya kundigwasya kapati.”

• Amucitile antoomwe zyintu mbuli kulya, kulikondelezya alimwi akukomba kutegwa muzyibane kabotu.

• Amube amiswaangano yamukwasyi lyoonse abaabo bajanika. Amubazumizye banamukwasyi boonse kwaamba kakunyina kubanjila mukanwa, kamutalika acintu cimwi cibotu kujatikizya mukwasyi mpoonya akuzumanana acintu cilibilisya. Amutondezye bulemu nikuba kuti tamucizumini caambwa, alimwi amupe coolwe kuli boonse kupa mizeezo iikonzya kugwasya.

 BUYUMUYUMU BWATATU: MBOMUKONZYA KUPA KUTI BOONSE BALIMVWE KUBA BANAMUKWASYI

“Bakaintu bangu abana babo balabandika makani cakusisikizya kumane akundiletela matongoosi aabo. Tandili cibeela camukwasyi wabo, ndimuntu buyo mutuba.”—Oobu mbobakaamba ba Walt.

KUYOOWA kuti tamuyandwi mumukwasyi wanu kulakonzya kuletela mapenzi aambi. Mucikozyanyo:

• Bana ibakali kuvwana amuzyali ooyo ngomuyanda kukwatanalimwi, balakonzya kuba amapenzi kumbele.

• Muzyali ufwida munyono mwana wakujana uujisi myaka iili cisambomwe yakuzyalwa.

• Ambweni makani aalibonya kuba masyoonto buyo apa kuti kube kuzwangana kapati.

Makani aaya alabajatikizya nibaba bazyali beni-beni nkaambo abalo balakatazyigwa kubona mukwasyi wabo kautakkamantene. Mbubwenya mbobakaamba ba Carmen kuti: “Kuba simwiima akati wabalumi bangu abana bangu bobilo cilakatazya kapati.”

Mulawo Wabukkale ulapa nzila mbotukonzya kumana buyumuyumu oobu. Jesu wakaamba kuti: “Aboobo, zyintu zyoonse nzimuyanda kuti bantu bamucitile, anywebo nzimweelede kubacitila.” (Matayo 7:12) Mbuti mumikwasyi muli bana naa bazyali bakujana mbobakonzya kupa kuti boonse kabalimvwa kuba banamukwasyi?

NCOMUKONZYA KUCITA

• Amubikke cikwati canu mubusena bwakusaanguna. (Matalikilo 2:24) Amujane ciindi cakuba angomukwetene limwi mupya, alimwi amubaambile bana banu busena mbwajisi mumukwasyi ooyo ngomukwetenelimwi. Mucikozyanyo, bausyi balakonzya kwaambila bana babo niliba leelyo kabatanakwata kuti: “Ndilabayanda ba Anna, alimwi bayooba bakaintu bangu. Ndilizyi kuti munoobalemeka.”

• Amujane ciindi cakubandika abana umwi aumwi kumugama. Kujana ciindi cakuba ambabo umwi aumwi kumugama citondezya mbobayandika kulindinywe alimwi amubasyomezye kuti mulabayanda.

• Amujane ciindi cakubandika amwana wakujana umwi aumwi kumugama kutegwa mupange cilongwe kakunyina kubelesya muzyali wini uubazyala kuti abe nguumwaambawida.

• Amubalekele bana kuti babe banamukwasyi kakunyina kusaanguna kulyaambilila kuti tabacili bamukwasyi nkubakali kukkala kaindi. Tamweelede kubasinikizya bana kubelesya mazyina aabulemu mbuli “Bamaama” naa “Bataata.” Kumatalikilo bana bapati balakonzya kutalimvwa kwaanguluka kubelesya mabala mbuli aakuti “mukwasyi wesu” naa “swebo” kujatikizya mukwasyi muli bana naa bazyali bakujana.

• Amubaabile milimo yaaŋanda bana boonse, mpobeelede kukkala ciindi cakulya alimwi abusena bwabo muŋanda. Eeci cilabikkilizya abaabo bana batakkali andinywe kwaciindi cilamfwu.

• Mulakonzya kulongela muŋanda iimbi naa kubambulula njiyonya njomukkala lino kutegwa aabo bamusangana balimvwe kuti balayandwa.

 BUYUMUYUMU BWANE: KULAYA BANA

“Kuti naa ndasola kulaya bana baba Carmen, balo balabaumbulizya muciindi cakundigwasya kubalaya.”—Oobu mbobakaamba ba Pablo.

“Cilandicisa ciindi ba Pablo nibabacitila lunya bana bangu.”—Oobu mbobakaamba ba Carmen.

NKAAMBO nzi kukomezya bana ncokukonzya kuletela mazwanga mumukwasyi muli bana naa bazyali bakujana? Ambweni bana bali kulendekezyegwa mumukwasyi wamuzyali omwe. Kuti muzyali uumbi wabasangana mumukwasyi, ambweni inga tanaba aluyando lwini-lwini kubana mbaajana. Ncinzi cikonzya kucitika? Muzyali wakujana ulakonzya kulimvwa kuti muzyali wini ulabalendekezya bana, kulubazu lumwi muzyali wini ulakonzya kulimvwa kuti muzyali wakujana ulaalunya kubana.

Bbaibbele litwaambila kuti tweelede kwaalanga munzila iili kabotu makani aakukomezya bana nolyaamba kuti: “Mutanoobanyemyi bana banu pe, pele amuzumanane kubalela mululayo lwa Jehova [Leza] akubayiisya kutobela mizeezo yakwe.” (Baefeso 6:4) Mweelede kubikkila maano kumuyiisya mbwayelede kuyeeya mwana muciindi cakweendelezya buyo bukkale bwakwe. Aciindi nciconya eeco, bazyali bakulwaizyigwa kuti beelede kuba alubomba alimwi aluyando kutegwa lulayo kalutabanyemyi bana.

NCOMUKONZYA KUCITA

• Amubikke milawo yaaŋanda, kutalikila aali yeeyo njomujisi kale. Amubone mboigwasya milawo iili boobu mubukkale butobela:

Banyina bakujana: Jennifer, mulawo waaŋanda aano ngwakuti kunyina kutuminana tugwalo twaafooni kuti kamutanamanizya homuweki.

Jennifer: Tamulindinywe mwakandizyala.

Banyina bakujana: Mbombubo Jen, pele calino ndendime muzyali uumulanganya, alimwi mulawo ngwakuti kunyina kutuminana tugwalo twaafooni kuti kamutanamanizya homuweki.

• Tamweelede kubika milawo minji naa kucinca-cinca mbozicitwa zyintu aŋanda. Cintu cikonzya kulibonya kuti cili buyo kabotu kumuzyali wakujana, cilakonzya kulibonya kuba mukuli uuminya kumwana walo uulimvwa kuti buumi bwakwe boonse bwacinca. Cakutadooneka, milawo mipya ilakonzya kuyandika, milawo mbuli iijatikizya makani aamaseseke aamumukwasyi alimwi amilawo iijatikizya kusama, ikapati kuti mumukwasyi kakuli bana bapati.

• Kuteendelana kulikoonse kujatikizya mbomweelede kulaya bana mweelede kukubandika kamuli nyolikke, kutali kuti bana kabaswiilila. Amubikkile maano kubukkale bugaminide bwamwana kutali bulubizi bwakacitwa kaindi naakali kuyiisigwa.

[Bupanduluzi buyungizidwe]

[Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 3]

Inga calibonya mbuli kuti tacikonzyeki kuba amukwasyi uukkomene muli bana naa bazyali bakujana

[Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 4]

Amuswiililisye kutegwa mumvwisye mbwalimvwa umwi aumwi alimwi azimulibilisya

[Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 6]

Kuti kuli kutamvwana kuliko, bazyali beelede kwaabandika makani aayo kabali balikke