Tamukonzyi kuluba zintu zibyaabi nzyaakacita naa kwaamba ngomukwetene limwi; majwi aabukali amicito iicisizya moyo zyakanamatila mumizeezo yanu. Aboobo, luyando ndomwakajisi lwamana, lino mwatalika kubikkilila. Kuboneka kuti kunyina ncomukonzya kucita kunze lyakuzumanana buyo kukkala mulukwatano mutakwe luyando. Acalo eeci cimupa kutamuyanda ngomukwetene limwi.

Amube aalusyomo lwakuti zintu zilakonzya kucinca. Pele cakusaanguna, amulange-lange twaambo twamasimpe kujatikizya kubikkilila.

Kubikkilila kulakonzya kunyonganya lukwatano. Ino nkaambo nzi? Akaambo kakuti kunyonganya bube buyandika mulukwatano, nkokuti luyando alimwi akusyomeka. Aboobo, kubikkilila takubooli akaambo kapenzi lyamulukwatano, pele ndipenzi buya lyamulukwatano. Nkakaambo kaako Bbaibbele ncolyaambila kuti: “Amuzisowe zyintu zyoonse eezyi, kulutila.”—Baefeso 4:31.

Ikuti kamubikkilila, nkokuti muliletela mapenzi nobeni. Kubikkilila kuli mbuli kulyuuma mbayi akulangila kuti muntu uumbi amvwe kucisa. Mubbuku lyabo litegwa Healing From Family Rifts, ba Mark Sichel bakaamba kuti: “Munamukwasyi ooyo ngomubikkilila inga kalimvwide buyo kabotu, kakkomene alimwi katajisi penzi lili lyoonse kujatikizya makani aaya.” Ino nkaambo nzi? Ba Sichel baamba kuti: “Kubikkilila kucisa yooyo uubikkilila ikutali ngwabikkilila.”

Kubikkilila nkuliyandila. Bamwi inga bakadooneka kaambo aaka. Balakonzya kwaamba kuti, ‘Ngondikwetene limwi ngowakapa kuti nditalike kumubikkilila.’ Penzi ndyakuti kuyeeya kuli boobo kuyeeme acintu ncomutakonzyi kweendelezya—micito yamuntu uumwi. Bbaibbele lilatwaambila cakucita. Lyaamba kuti: “Umwi aumwi alingule nzyacita lwakwe mwini.” (Bagalatiya 6:4) Tatukonzyi kweendelezya nzyacita akwaamba muntu umwi, pele tulakonzya kweendelezya nzyotukonzya kucita kujatikizya nzyaamba. Kubikkilila tacili ncecintu cilikke ncotukonzya kucita.

Mutapi muntu uumbi mulandu. Masimpe kuti ncuuba-uba kupa mulandu ngomukwetene limwi. Pele amuzyibe kuti muntu ulakonzya kusala kubikkilila naa pe. Akwalo kulekelela mbokubede. Mulakonzya kusala kutobela lulayo lwamu Bbaibbele lwakuti: “Mutabbizyi zuba kamunyemede pe.” (Baefeso 4:26) Muuya wakulekelela umupa coolwe cakulanganya mapenzi aamulukwatano kamujisi mizeezo iili kabotu.—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: Bakolose 3:13.

Amulilingule cakusyomeka. Ibbaibbele lilaamba kuti bantu bamwi ‘mbakali’ alimwi ‘mbaasinkazi.’ (Tusimpi 29:22) Sena oobo mbomubede? Amulibuzye kuti: ‘Sena ndilaacilengwa cakunyema-nyema? Sena ndilafwambaana kunyema? Sena ndilayandisya kukomezya makani?’ Bbaibbele lyaamba kuti “oyo uuindulula makani ulapambukanya bayandana.” (Tusimpi 17:9; Mukambausi 7:9) Eeci cilakonzya kucitika mulukwatano. Aboobo, ikuti kamujisi cilengwa cakubikkilila amulibuzye kuti, ‘Sena ndilakonzya kumukkazikila moyo ngotukwetene limwi?’—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: 1 Petulo 4:8.

Amusale ciyandika kapati. Bbaibbele lyaamba kuti kuli “ciindi cakuumuna aciindi cakwaamba.” (Mukambausi 3:7) Tazili zyoonse nzyobamulubizyila bamwi nzyomweelede kubandika; zimwi ziindi mweelede buyo ‘kulyaambauzya mumoyo wanu mumalo aanu, akuumuna.’ (Intembauzyo 4:4) Ikuti mwayanda kwaabandika makani aamunyemya, amulindile kusikila mwatontomana. Mukaintu wazina lya Beatriz, waamba kuti: “Ikuti naa ndanyema, cakusaanguna ndilasola kukkazika moyo. Zimwi ziindi inga cindipa kubona kuti penzi talili alipati, mpoonya ndilacikonzya kubandika cabulemu.”—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: Tusimpi 19:11.

Kuzyiba ncocaamba “kulekelela.” Mu Bbaibbele, bbala lyakuti “kulekelela” zimwi ziindi lisandululwa kuzwa kubbala lyamumwaambo wakusaanguna lijisi muzeezo wakucileka buyo cintu cimwi. Aboobo, kulekelela tacaambi kuti muubya-ubya cibi naa mucita mbuli kuti kunyina cacitika; pele inga caamba kucileka buyo cintu cimwi, nkaambo kubikkilila kulakonzya kunyonganya buumi bwanu alimwi alukwatano kwiinda cintu camunyemya.