Lulayo Lusyomeka Lujatikizya Kulela Bana

“NDAKALI amyaka iili 19, ndakali kukkala kulamfwu amukwasyi wangu alimwi kunyina nindakalibambilide,” mbwaamba Ruth kujatikizya ida lyakusaanguna. Mbwaanga wakali ngomwana alikke walo, kunyina naakaubikkila kapati maano muzeezo wakuba muzyali. Ino nkuli nkwaakali kukonzya kujana lulayo lusyomeka?

Jan, kulubazu lumwi, walo uujisi bana bobilo bapati, ulayeeya kati: “Ndakali alusyomo kumatalikilo. Pele tiilyakalampa, ndakajana kuti ndakanyina luzibo lugwasya.” Nokuba kuti bazyali inga kabatalibambilide kumatalikilo naa balakkopana kumbele, nkuuli nkobakonzya kujana lugwasyo lwambobeelede kulela bana babo?

Mazuba aano, ibunji bwabazyali bayandaula lugwasyo a Intaneti. Pele ambweni inga mwayanda kuziba naa lulasyomeka lulayo lujanika mpawo. Cilagwasya ikucenjela. Sena mulibazyi ncobeni bamupa lulayo a Intaneti? Ino mbuti mbobazwidilila mukulela bana babo? Cakutadooneka muyanda kwaalangisya makani aajatikizya mukwasyi wanu. Zimwi ziindi, mbubwenya mbokwaambwa mucibalo cainda, noluba lulayo luzwa kuli bahaazibwene lujanwa kuti talugwasyi. Aboobo ino nkuli nkomukonzya kuunka?

Alikke uujisi lulayo lujatikizya mbokulelwa bana ngu Jehova Leza, Sikutalisya mukwasyi. (Ba-Efeso 3:15) Alikke ngohaazibwene mwini-mwini. Mu Jwi lyakwe, Ibbaibbele, ulapa malailile aasyomeka alimwi aagwasya ncobeni. (Intembauzyo 32:8; Isaya 48:17, 18) Pele cili kulindiswe ikwaatobela.

Banabukwetene bali mbobabede bakalombwa kuti baambe nzyobakaiya nobakali kulela bana babo kutegwa bakomene kabotu alimwi babe bantu bayoowa Leza. Ikuzwidilila kwabo, bakaamba kuti, kwakali akaambo kakubelesya njiisyo zyamu Bbaibbele. Bakajana kuti lulayo lwamu Bbaibbele lulasyomeka mazuba aano mbubwenya mbolwakabede Ibbaibbele nolyakalembwa ciindi cakusaanguna.

Amujane Ciindi Cakwiizya Ambabo

Ciindi Catherine, mutumbu uujisi bana bobilo naakabuzyigwa kuti ndulayo luli lwakamugwasya kapati, cakutasowa ciindi wakaamba loolo lujanika ku Deuteronomo 6:7. Kapango aaka kaamba kuti: “Muleelede kwaaiyisya bana banu [njiisyo zyamu Bbaibbele], akwaambaula ngawo lyoonse, ciindi cakukala muŋanda aciindi cakweenda munzila, ciindi cakoona aciindi cakubuka.” Catherine wakaziba kuti ikutegwa atobele lulayo oolu, wakaleelede kujana ciindi cakwiizya abana bakwe.

Mulakonzya kwaamba kuti ‘Ncuuba-uba kucaamba pele nciyumu kucicita.’ Mumikwasyi minji bazyali boonse bobilo mobabeleka ikutegwa bajane ziyandika zyamukwasyi wabo, ino mbuti bazyali bajisi bubi mbobakonzya kujana ciindi cakuba abana babo? Torlief, walo mwanaakwe lino uujisi mukwasyi wakwe, waamba kuti iciyandika kapati nkutobela lulayo lujanika ku Deuteronomo. Kamubatoleezya bana banu kufwumbwa nkomuunka alimwi munooli acoolwe cakubandika ambabo. Torlief waamba kuti: “Mebo amwanaangu twali kubelekela antoomwe milimo yaaŋanda. Ndali kweenda amukwasyi woonse. Twali kulida antoomwe zyakulya.” Waamba kuti, kwiinda mukucita boobo, “mwaneesu lyoonse waali muntu waangulukide kwaamba mbwalimvwa.”

Ino mbuti kuti kakunyina kwaambauzyanya alimwi aumwi kataangulukide kwaambaula? Eeci zimwi ziindi cilacitika ibana nobayaabukomena. Ikujana ciindi cakwiizya ambabo kulakonzya kugwasya. Mulumi wa Catherine, Ken, ulayeeya kuti mwanaabo musimbi naakaba mukubusi wakali kutongooka kuti bausyi tiibakali kumuswiilila. Bakubusi mbobavwula kutongooka oobo. Ino ncinzi ncaakeelede kucita? Ken  waamba kuti: “Ndakatalika kujana ciindi cakuba anguwe katuli tobilo, kubandika nzyayeeya, nzyajisi mumoyo alimwi azintu zimutyompya. Eeco cakagwasya kapati.” (Tusimpi 20:5) Pele Ken waamba kuti ikaambo kakapa kuti azwidilile nkakuti ikwaambauzyanya muŋanda yabo ticaali ceenzu. Waamba kuti: “Lyoonse twali kumvwana kapati amwanaangu musimbi, aboobo wakali kukonzya kundaambila mbwaakali kulimvwa.”

Cikondelezya ncakuti, mukuvwuntauzya kumwi kwakacitwa ino-ino kwakajanwa kuti bakubusi ikutali bazyali mbabamvula kwaamba kuti bazyali abana kunyina nobajana ciindi cinji cakukkala antoomwe. Aboobo nkaambo nzi ncomutatobeli lulayo lwamu Bbaibbele? Amujane ciindi cinji cakuba abana banu ikuti kakukonzyeka—nomulyookezya, nomubeleka, nomuli aŋanda, mulweendo, mafwumofwumo nomubuka alimwi amasiku kamutanoona. Ikuti kacikonzyeka kamuya ambabo kufwumbwa nkomuya. Kweelana a Deuteronomo 6:7 mbolyaamba, kunyina cintu cimbi cikonzya kunjilila busena ciindi cakwiizya abana banu.

Amubayiisye Bukkale Bubotu

Mario, muzyali uujisi bana bobilo, awalo waamba kuti: “Kamubayanda kapati bana akubabalila.” Pele, iciyandika takuli kwiile kubagwasya kuyeeya bana banu. Muyandika kubayiisya mbobakonzya kuziba cibi acibotu. Mario uyungizya kuti: “Amwiiye Bbaibbele ambabo.”

Kutegwa bacite oobo, Ibbaibbele likulwaizya bazyali kuti: “Mutanookalalili akunyemya bana banu cabuyo, pele amubalele mukubaiisya akubalailila munzila ya Mwami.” (Baefeso 6:4, Ci) Ikuyiisya bana mbobeelede kulilemeka mumaanda manji kwakamana mazuba aano. Ibamwi bayeeya kuti ibana bakomena, beelede kulisalila beni mbobakonzya kupona. Sena eeco ncamaano kulindinywe? Mbubwenya mibili yabana mboiyandika kulya kabotu ikutegwa ikomene kabotu, ayalo mizeezo amyoyo ziyandika malailile. Ikuti bana banu kabatayiiyi bukkale bubotu kulindinywe aŋanda, cakutadooneka bayootobela mizeezo yabeenzinyina abamaiyi babo kucikolo naa eeyo iimwaigwa mumiteende, muwailesi naa mucipekupeku.

Ibbaibbele lilakonzya kugwasya bazyali kuyiisya bana babo kwaandaanya cibotu acibi. (2 Timoteo 3:16, 17) Jeff, imwaalu Munakristo uujisi luzibo walo wakakomezya bana bobilo ukulwaizya kubelesya Bbaibbele ikuyiisya bana kuba abukkale bubotu. Waamba kuti: “Ikubelesya Bbaibbele kulabagwasya bana kuziba Mulengi mbwalimvwa kujatikizya kaambo, ikutali buyo nzyobayanda Bausyi Abanyina. Twakabona kuti Bbaibbele lililibedelede kukucinca mizeezo alimwi azili mumoyo. Ikutegwa tubagwasye kuti mwana kalilemeka kabotu akugusya muzeezo uutaluzi, twakali kuyandaula lugwalo lweelela aciindi eeco. Mpoonya abusena mpotuli tolikke amwana, twali kumwaambila kubala lugwalo oolo. Kanji-kanji mwana wali kulila amanizya kubala. Cakali kutugambya. Ibbaibbele lyakali anguzu kapati kwiinda cili coonse ncotwakali kukonzya kwaamba naa kucita.”

Ilugwalo lwa Ba-Hebrayo 4:12 lwaamba kuti: “Ijwi lya-Leza lili abuumi, lili anguzu . . . alimwi lilabeteka kuyeeya akuyanda kwamoyo.” Aboobo imulumbe wamu Bbaibbele tuuli buyo mizeezo yamuntu naa zyakacitikila bantu aabo mbaakabelesya Leza kuba balembi bakwe. Pele ulijisi mizeezo ya Leza kujatikizya makani aakulilemeka. Eeci cipa kuti lulayo oolu lwiindane alulayo lumbi. Kwiinda mukubelesya Bbaibbele kuyiisya bana banu, mulabagwasya kuba amizeezo ya Leza kujatikizya twaambo. Kuyiisya kwanu kulagwasya kapati alimwi mujisi coolwe cakubakulwaizya bana banu.

Catherine, iwaambwa kumatalikilo ulazuminizya. Ulati: “Twaba mubukkale bukatazya, twakali kufwundumana kuyandaula busolozi mu Jwi lya Leza—mpoonya twakali kuzwidilila!” Sena inga mwalibelesya kapati Bbaibbele mukuyiisya bana banu mbobeelede kuziba cibotu kuzwa kucibi?

Amube Batontozi

Imwaapostolo Paulo ulaamba aimbi njiisyo iiyandika kapati iigwasya mukulela bana. Wakakulwaizya Banakristonyina kuti: “Butontozi bwanu abuzibwe kubantu boonse.” (Ba-Filipi 4:5) Masimpe eeci cibikkilizya kutondezya bana besu butontozi mbotujisi. Alimwi kamuyeeya kuti butontozi butondezya “busongo buzwa kujulu.”—Jakobo 3:17.

 Pele ino mbuti butontozi mbobuswaangene akuyiisya bana besu? Nokuba kuti tulabagwasya kufwumbwa mbotukonzya, kunyina notweendelezya zintu zyoonse nzyobacita. Mucikozyanyo, Mario, waambwa kumatalikilo, ngu Kamboni wa Jehova, alimwi ulayeeya kati: “Lyoonse twakali kukulwaizya bana besu kubbapatizyigwa, kunjila mumulimo waciindi coonse alimwi akulibikkila mbaakani zimbi zyakumuuya. Pele twakacisalazya kuti eeco cakali kuli mbabo kulisalila beni baakuyanda.” Ncinzi cakatobela? Bana babo boonse bobilo lino balabeleka mulimo waciindi coonse wakukambauka.

Ibbaibbele lilabacenjezya bamawisi ku Bakolose 3:21 (Cizuminano Cipya) noliti: “Mutanoobanyemyi caali bana banu kuti batali kutyompokelwi.” Catherine ulakayanda kapango aaka. Ikuti muzyali katakkaziki moyo, ncuuba-uba ikukalala naa kukatazya. Pele waamba kuti, “mutani kulangili kuti nzyomukonzya kucita nywebo awalo mwana inga ulazicita.” Awalo Catherine ngu Kamboni wa Jehova alimwi ulayungizya kuti: “Ikubelekela Jehova aube mulimo uukondelezya.”

Jeff, waambwa kumatalikilo, mboobu mbwaamba kweelana akubona kwakwe: “Bana besu nobakakomena, imweenzuma wakatwaambila kuti wakali kuyeeya ciindi naakali kubakakila bana bakwe zintu nzyobakali kuyanda. Eeco cakali kubanyemya alimwi akubatyompya. Ikutegwa kutacitiki zintu zyamusyobo ooyu, wakaamba kuti tweelede kuyandaula nzila yakubazumizya nzyobayanda.”

“Lulayo oolu twakabona kuti ndubotu,” mbwaamba Jeff. “Mpoonya twakayandaula nzila bana besu mobakali kukonzya kucita zintu antoomwe abamwi mubukkale mbotwakali kukonzya kuzumina. Aboobo twakali kubabuzya kuti: ‘Sena ulizyi kuti niini uyanda kucita cakuti? Sena inga tonooyanda kumusangana?’ Naa ikuti bana batulomba kuti tubatole kumbi, twakali kulisinikizya kuunka nokuba kuti inga tulilemede. Twakali kucita oobo akaambo kakuti tiitwakali kuyanda kubakakila.” Ooku nkokutontola—ikutasalulula, kubikkila maano bamwi alimwi akunyoneka kakunyina kusotoka njiisyo zyamu Bbaibbele.

Amugwasyigwe Alulayo Lusyomeka

Ibunji bwabanabukwetene aaba bali abazyukulu lino. Balakkomana kubona bana babo kabagwasyigwa anjiisyo nzyeena zyamu Bbaibbele ikuzwidilila mukulela bana babo. Sena inga mwagwasyigwa alulayo lwamu Bbaibbele?

Ruth, iwaambwa kumatalikilo, naakaba muzyali, walo amulumi wakwe zimwi ziindi bakanyina busolozi. Pele bwakaliko. Bakalijisi lulayo lusumpukide lwamu Jwi lya Leza, Ibbaibbele. Bakamboni ba Jehova bamwaya mabbuku manji mabotu aagwasya kwiiya Bbaibbele aayo aakonzya kugwasya bazyali. Aaya abikkilizya lya Amwiiye ku Mwiiyi Mupati, Ibbuku Lyangu Lyamakani Aa-Bbaibbele, Mafunso Achichepere Akufunsa—Mayankho Amene Amathandiza alimwi alya Imuntu Mupati Kwiinda Iwakaponede. Torlief, mulumi wa Ruth, waamba kuti: “Mazuba aano kuli lulayo lunji kapati luzwa mu Bbaibbele ndobajisi bazyali. Ikuti naa balubelesya, balakonzya kugwasyigwa mukukomezya bana babo mumbazu zyoonse.”

 Kabbokesi/[Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 5]

Nzyobaamba BAHAAZIBWENE . . . Nzyolyaamba IBBAIBBELE

Kujatikizya Kutondezya Luyando:

Mubbuku litegwa The Psychological Care of Infant and Child (1928), Dr. John Broadus Watson wakakulwaizya bazyali kuti: “Mutani kubakumbati akubamyonta” bana banu. “Mutani kubakkazyiki amaulu.” Pele, caino-ino aawa, Dr. Vera Lane alimwi a Dr. Dorothy Molyneaux mumagazini itegwa Our Children (March 1999) bakaamba kuti: “Kuvwuntauzya kwakacitwa kutondezya kuti bana baniini ibatajatwi alimwi ibatatondezyegwi kuti balayandwa kanji-kanji kunyina nobakomena kabotu.”

Mukwiimpana, Isaya 66:12 yaamba Leza kuti ulatondezya luyando ndwajisi kubantu bakwe kwiinda mukutondezya mbwacita muzyali siluyando. Mbubwenya buyo, basikwiiya ba Jesu nobakasola kukasya bantu kuleta bana baniini kuli Jesu, wakabalulamika kati: “Amuleke twana, tuze kulindime, mutatukasyi pe.” Mpoonya “wakatubukata, watulongezya.”—Marko 10:14, 16.

Kujatikizya Kubayiisya Bukkale Bubotu:

Mucibalo camumagazini yamu 1969 iitegwa New York Times Magazine, Dr. Bruno Bettelheim wakakankaizya kuti mwana ulijisi “nguzu zyakulisalila mwini, ikutali kweendelezyegwa [akukambauka] kwa [bazyali bakwe], pele kwiinda muzintu zimucitikila mwini mubuumi.” Pele nokwakainda myaka iitandila ku 30, Dr. Robert Coles, sikulemba bbuku litegwa The Moral Intelligence of Children (1997), wakazuminizya kuti: “Bana bayandika kuba amakanze alimwi abusolozi mubuumi, bukkale” buzumizidwe abazyali babo alimwi abapati bambi.

Tusimpi 22:6 tukulwaizya bazyali kuti: “Iyisya mwana aende munzila iielede, lino akomena takooyooleya mulinjiyo.” Ibbala lya Cihebrayo lisanduludwe kuti “iyisya” alimwi lyaamba kuti “talisya” alimwi aawa lipa muzeezo wakutalisya kulailila mwana muvwanda. Aboobo bazyali bakulwaizyigwa kutalika kuyiisya bana babo bukkale bubotu kuzwa kubuvwanda. (2 Timoteo 3:14, 15) Nzyobayiiya mumyaka eeyi nobayaabukomena cakutadooneka banooziyeeya lyoonse.

Kujatikizya Lulayo:

Dr. James Dobson mubbuku litegwa The Strong-Willed Child (1978) wakalemba kuti: “Ikuumwa amuzyali siluyando ncibelesyo ciyiisya eeco cigwasya kugusya bukkale butali kabotu.” Kulubazu lumwi, mucibalo cakazwa mubbuku lyaciloba lidumide litegwa Baby and Child Care (1998), Dr. Benjamin Spock wakati: “Kuuma bana kumatako kubayiisya kuti muntu mupati ulijisi nguzu zyakucita kufwumbwa ncayanda, nokuba kuti ulilubide.”

Kujatikizya lulayo, Ibbaibbele lyaamba kuti: “Musako akutapatila, zilaleta busongo.” (Tusimpi 29:15) Pele tabali bana boonse ibayandika kuumwa. Tusimpi 17:10 tutwaambila kuti: “Kutapatila kulabombya muntu musongo kwiinda zyuumo zili mwanda mubufubafuba.”

[Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 5]

Amubelesye Bbaibbele ikukulwaizya mwana

[Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 7]

Bazyali basongo balalibambila kabotu kutegwa bana babo bakatalukwe