Kulela Bana Kakunyina Kubalendekezya

SENA kuli buzuba nomwakabwene mwana kalomba bazyali bakwe kuti bamuulile cintu cakusobanya ncobatakali kuyanda kuula? Naa kuli nomwakabwene bazyali kabaambila mwanaabo uuputa kuti akkalikane? Mulakonzya kubona kuti mubukkale buli boobu, ibazyali bayanda kucitila bana babo zyintu zikonzya kubagwasya ncobeni. Nokuba boobo, kanji-kanji bazyali balakonzya kumuzumizya mwana kucita ncayanda. Akaambo kakuti wabakatazya kulila mwana, bazyali balakonzya kumupa eeco ncayanda.

Bazyali banji bayeeya kuti, ikuba muzyali mubotu caamba kupa bana babo zyintu nzyobayanda. Mucikozyanyo, ku United States kwakali buvwuntauzi bwakacitwa kujatikizya bana bali 750 ibakajisi myaka iili 12 kusikila ku 17. Nobakabuzyigwa bana mbobacita ikuti bazyali babo babakakila kubapa zyintu nzyobayanda, imweelwe wabana batandila ku 60 pesenti bakaamba kuti balazumanana kulomba. Imweelwe wabana basika ku 55 pesenti bakaamba kuti bunji bwaziindi nzila eeyi ilabeleka. Akaambo kakubalendekezya bana, bazyali balakonzya kuyeeya kuti kwiinda mukucita boobo batondezya luyando, pele sena aayo masimpe?

Amuyeeye ncokaamba kasimpi kamu Bbaibbele kakuti: “Kuti muntu walendekezya mubelesi wakwe mukumupa zyoonse nzyayanda kumamanino uyoomunyanga kufumbwa ncajisi [naa takalumbi, NW]” (Tusimpi 29:21, BT) Masimpe ngakuti, mwana tali mubelesi. Pele sena tamuzumini kuti njiisyo eeyi ilabeleka caboola kukulela bana? Kulendekezya bana kwiinda mukubapa zyintu zyoonse nzyobayanda kulakonzya kupa kuti babe bantu ‘batalumbi’—batakwe maano, baliyanda alimwi balaankazi nobakomena.

Mukwiimpana, Ibbaibbele lilailila bazyali kuti: “Iyisya mwana aende munzila iielede.” (Tusimpi 22:6) Bazyali babikkila maano balaatobela malailile aaya kwiinda mukubikka akubona kuti milawo iitacinci-cinci alimwi iitaminyi ilatobelwa. Balizyi kuti ikutondezya luyando tacaambi kulendekezya bana; alimwi kunyina nobapa mwana kufwumbwa ncayanda akaambo kakuti ulaamambeke. Muciindi caboobo, balaatobela majwi mabotu ngaakaamba Jesu aakuti: “Kwaamba kwanu akube, Ii, ii, na Pe, pe.” (Matayo 5:37) Pele ino ncinzi cijatikizyidwe mukuyiisya bana? Amulange-lange cikozyanyo eeci cibotu.

“Mbuli Mivwi Mujanza”

Ibbaibbele lilatondezya mbuli mwana mbwayelede kupona abazyali bakwe kwiinda mukukankaizya kuti mwana weelede kulaigwa. Lugwalo lwa Intembauzyo 127:4, 5 lwaamba kuti:  “Mbuli mivwi mujanza lyasilumamba, mbobabede bana muntu mbazyala mubwanike bwakwe. Ngusicoolwe uujisi mukutu uuzwide bana.” Aboobo, mucikozyanyo eeci bana baambwa kuti bali mbuli mivwi, mpoonya muzyali uli mbuli sikalumamba. Mbweena sibuta mbwazyi kuti muvwi taukonzyi kuyasa mbaakani kwiinda mukuuwaala ciwaale-waale, bazyali basiluyando balizyi kuti kulela bana mulimo uuyandika kukkalila ansi kuyeeya. Bayanda kuti baakukomena bana babo bakabe kabotu kumbele—kabajisi buumi bubotu, bukkomanisya. Bayanda kuti bana babo kabasala zyintu zibotu, kabali basongo, kabazuzikizya mbaakani akutalinjizya mumapenzi. Pele nzinji ziyandika kunze lyakulombozya zyintu eezyi.

Kutegwa muvwi uyase mpuuyandika, ncinzi ciyandika? Weelede kubambwa kabotu, kukwabililwa mpoonya akuwaalwa canguzu. Mbweena buyo, bana bayandika kugwasyigwa, kukwabililwa akusololelwa kutegwa baakukomena bakazwidilile. Aboobo, cakusitikila atulange-lange mbazu eezyi zyotatwe zyakulela bana.

Kubamba Muvwi

Mivwi njobakali kubelesya basibuta kaindi yakali kupagwa kabotu. Kasamu kauba-uba kakali koololwa amaanza kutegwa koololoke. Kalembe kakali kubosya. Kumane kasamu nkokali kusyule kakali kwaangililwa mapepe kutegwa muvwi wawaalwa kuutapepeluki amuwo.

Abalo bazyali ncobayanda ncakuti bana babo babe mbuli mivwi yoololokede—baluleme, batapilingene. Aboobo, cabusongo, taakwe nobatulanga buyo tumpenda twabana babo, pele caluyando balabagwasya kutegwa baleke tumpenda ooto. Ooyu mulimo uutamani akaambo kakuti “bufubafuba bulaangidwe mumoyo wamwana” uuli woonse. (Tusimpi 22:15) Nkakaambo kaako Bbaibbele ncolikulwaizya bazyali kuti beelede kulaya bana babo. (Ba-Efeso 6:4) Masimpe, lulayo lulayandika kapati kutegwa mwana abe amizeezo mibotu, iitanyongene.

Nkakaambo kaako lugwalo lwa Tusimpi 13:24 ncolwaambila kuti: “Uuleka cuumyo ulisulide mwanaakwe, pele uumuyandisya ulasungwaala kumukoma [naa kumulaya, NW].” Mulugwalo oolu, cuumyo caamba nzila iili yoonse iibelesyegwa mukulaya kufwumbwa naa ninzila nzi. Kwiinda mukumulaya caluyando, bazyali basola kumana tumpenda tukonzya kupa kuti mwana akapenge aakukomena ikuti naa tumpenda ooto twazumanana. Mubwini, ikwaalilwa kulaya kuleelene akusula mwana; ikulaya ncitondezyo caluyando.

Kunze lyaboobo, muzyali siluyando ulagwasya mwanaakwe kumvwisya ikaambo ncoyabikkilwa milawo. Aboobo, ikulaya tacaambi buyo kubikka milawo akupa cisubulo kuli baabo batyola milawo eeyo, pele ikapati caamba kugwasya mwana kumvwisya ncoyaamba milawo kutegwa abe musongo. Ibbaibbele lyaamba kuti: “Uubamba mulao mwana musongo.”—Tusimpi 28:7.

Sibuta naangilila mapepe kumivwi upa kuti muvwi usuumane kugama acintu ncayanda muciindi cakupepululwa amuwo. Mbweena buyo, injiisyo zyamu Bbaibbele nzyapa Ooyo wakatalisya mukwasyi zilakonzya kubagwasya bana mubuumi bwabo boonse noliba leelyo nobatalika kulikkalila. (Ba-Efeso 3:14, 15) Pele ino mbuti bazyali mbobakonzya kubona kuti bana babo balakonzya kusololelwa anjiisyo zili boobu mubuumi bwabo?

Amulange-lange lulayo ndwaakapa Leza kubazyali bana Israyeli kumazuba aa Musa: “Aya majwi ngendamulailila buzuba obuno abe amyoyo yanu. Muleelede kwaaiyisya bana banu.” (Deuteronomo 6:6, 7) Aboobo bazyali beelede kucita zyintu zyobilo. Cakusaanguna, beelede kwiiya akutobela Jwi lya Leza mubuumi bwabo akwiiyanda milawo ya Leza. (Intembauzyo 119:97) Mpoonya balakonzya kutobela kaambo kabili kali mulugwalo oolu—‘kuyiisya’ bana milawo ya Leza. Kutegwa bacite boobo, beelede kukankaizya mboiyandika milawo eeyo kwiinda mukwiinduluka-induluka akuyiisya caluzyibo kutegwa ibanjile mumoyo bana.

Aboobo, cilisalede kuti naaba mazuba aano cilagwasya kuyiisya njiisyo zyamu Bbaibbele naa kulaya caluyando mukululamika mizeezo iitaluzi. Eezyi nenzila ziyandika kapati mukupa kuti “mivwi” eeyo naa bana balibambile buumi bwakumbele nobaya bukomena.

 Kukwabilila Muvwi

Atujokele kucikozyanyo cilembedwe ku Intembauzyo 127:4, 5. Amuyeeye kuti sibuta wakali ‘kuzuzya mukutu’ wamivwi. Bamana kwiibamba, mivwi yakeelede kukwabililwa. Aboobo, sibuta wakali kubikka mivwi mukabbeeke kacikutu, mwalo moyatakali kulangilwa kunyonyoonwa naa kutyolwa. Icikondelezya ncakuti, mu Bbaibbele kwakasinsimwa kuti Mesiya wakali kuyooba mbuli muvwi uumweka-mweka Bausyi ‘ngobakasisa munkomo yabo.’ (Isaya 49:2) Jehova Leza, Taata wiinda boonse kubota, masimpe wakamukwabilila Mwanaakwe ngwayandisya, Jesu, kutegwa atajaigwi kusikila mane nocakasika ciindi cibikkidwe cakuti Mesiya ajaigwe kweelena ambokwakasinsimwa. Noliba leelyo, Leza wakamukwabilila Mwanaakwe kwiinda mukumupilusya kujulu akumupa buumi butamani.

Ncimwi buyo, ncobayanda bazyali basiluyando nkukwabilila bana babo kuntenda zili munyika eeyi mbyaabi. Balakonzya kukasya bana babo kucita zyintu zikonzya kubanyonganya. Mucikozyanyo, bazyali basongo balizyi mboiyandika njiisyo yakuti: “Mweenda abamineme, anywebo mulaminama.” (1 Ba-Korinto 15:33) Ikukwabilila bana kwiinda mukubakasya kumvwana abantu batalemeki zyeelelo zyabukkale bubotu zili mu Bbaibbele kulakonzya kupa kuti bana basale kabotu akutanjila mumapenzi.

Talili lyoonse bana nobayanda kulaigwa abazyali babo. Mubwini, zimwi ziindi eeci cilakonzya kubapa kucimwa, akaambo kakuti ikukwabilila naa kulaya bana bunji bwaziindi caamba kubakasya zyintu zimwi zibayanda. Mulembi umwi uulemekwa wakalemba mabbuku aapandulula mbokulelwa bana wakati: “Nokuba kuti talili lyoonse nobatondezya kuti balayanda alimwi ambweni kunyina nobakonzya kumulumba aciindi eeco, ibwini mbwakuti bana bayanda kuti bazyali babo kababakwabilila akubasololela mubuumi bwabo. Tulakonzya kucita oobo kwiinda mukutabalendekezya bana akubalaya kutegwa kabalilemeka.”

Masimpe, ikukwabilila bana banu kuzyintu zikonzya kupa kuti banyongane, kutalilemeka naa kutamvwana aa Leza, kulayandika kapati kutegwa mutondezye kuti mulabayanda. Baakukomena, balangilwa kuti baya kwaamvwisya  makanze aanu akumulumba akaambo kakubakwabilila.

Kuwaala Muvwi

Amubone kuti lugwalo lwa Intembauzyo 127:4, 5 lukozyanyisya muzyali kuli “silumamba” naa mwaalumi singuzu. Sena eeci caamba kuti Usyi bana alikke nguukonzya kuba muzyali mubotu? Peepe. Ibwini mbwakuti, njiisyo iili mucikozyanyo eeci ilabeleka kubazyali boonse, nkokuti bausyi abanyina kubikkilizya abazyali bali balikke. (Tusimpi 1:8) Ibbala lyakuti “silumamba” litondezya kuti sibuta wakeelede kubelesya nguzu kutegwa afwuse muvwi. Kaindi, zimwi ziindi buta bwakali kusyungululwa abutale, mpoonya sikalumamba wakali kwaambwa kuti wakali ‘cibwene kufusa [mabala eeni aa Chihebrayo ngakuti, ‘kulyatila buta’],’ ambweni kwiinda mukubulyatila kutegwa akonzye kubuladamuna kabotu. (Jeremiya 50:14, 29) Cili boobo akaambo kakuti sibuta wakeelede kuladamuna buta canguzu kutegwa afwuse muvwi awo aayandika.

Ncimwi buyo, kulela bana mulimo uuyandika kubeleka canguzu. Ibana kunyina nobakonzya kulilela beni mbubonya muvwi mboutakonzyi kuyasa mbaakani kakunyina muntu waufwusa. Pele cuusisya ncakuti bazyali banji mazuba aano baboneka mbuli kuti tabauyandi mulimo wakulela bana. Bayanda kulicelela. Balekela cipeku-peku, cikolo abalongwe kuyiisya bana babo kujatikizya zyintu zibotu azyibi, bukkale alimwi amakani aakoonana. Bapa bana babo zyintu zyoonse nzyobayanda. Alimwi zimwi ziindi bayeeya kuti ncibotu kulekela bana kucita mbuli mbobayanda—nobacita boobo baamba kuti ncobatayandi nkutyompya bana babo. Pele ibwini mbwakuti kulendekezya bana kulakonzya kupa kuti bana babo bakapenge kumbele.

Kulela bana mulimo mupati. Ikucita mulimo ooyu amoyo woonse kwiinda mukusololelwa a Jwi lya Leza, masimpe caamba kubeleka canguzu. Nokuba boobo, bulumbu bujanwa akaambo kakubeleka mulimo ooyu mbupati. Imagazini iitegwa Parents yakati: “Buvwuntauzyi . . . butondezya kuti ibana balelwa abazyali basiluyando alimwi batabalendekezyi—nkokuti bazyali bavwana abana babo pele bazyi kuti bana beelede kulaigwa—balacita kabotu kucikolo, balicizyi kukkala abantu, balicizyi ncobaponena alimwi bunji bwabo balikkomene kwiinda bana bali abazyali babalendekezya naa basilunya.”

Oobu teesyi bulumbu bolikke bujanika. Kumatalikilo twalanga-langa cibeela cakusaanguna calugwalo lwa Tusimpi 22:6: “Iyisya mwana aende munzila iielede.” Kapango aaka kalazumanana amajwi aakulwaizya aakuti: “Lino akomena takooyooleya mulinjiyo.” Sena kasimpi aaka kamu Bbaibbele katondezya kuti ziyume zitete muya kuzwidilila? Peepe. Mwanaanu ulijisi nguzu zyakulisalila alimwi aakukomena uyakucita oobo. Nokuba boobo, kapango aaka kajisi cisyomezyo cikonzya kupa kuti bazyali bakkazyike myoyo. Ino ncisyomezyo nzi eeco?

Ikuti naa kamuyiisya bana banu kweelana alulayo lwamu Bbaibbele, nkokuti mupa kuti kabapona kabotu akumuletela bulumbu bubotu kapati akaambo kakuti balakonzya kukkomana, kukkutila akuba amaano baakukomena. (Tusimpi 23:24) Aboobo, amusugwaale kubamba “mivwi” eeyo mibotu, amwiikwabilile, alimwi mutaleki kwiigamika naa kwiisololela. Kuti mwacita oobo tamukatyompwi.

[Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 13]

Sena bazyali nobapa bana babo kufwumbwa zyintu nzyobayanda inga batondezya luyando?

[Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 15]

Muzyali siluyando ulapandulula ikaambo ncoyabikkilwa milawo yamumukwasyi

[Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 15]

Bazyali babikkila maano balabakwabilila bana babo kuntenda zili munyika eeyi mbyaabi

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Kulela bana mulimo mupati, nokuba boobo bulumbu bujanika mbupati kapati