Nzila Zikonzya Kupa Mukwasyi Kukkomana

Kulemeka Ngomukwetene Limwi

Ba Will * bakaamba kuti: “Ciindi Rachel nanyemede, ulalila kwaciindi cilamfwu. Twakkala aansi kuti tubandike, ulafwambaana kunyema alimwi akuleka kundaambauzya. Kuboneka mbuli kuti kunyina cibeleka. Ndilimvwa kwaalilwa.”

Ba Rachel bakaamba kuti: “Ciindi Will naakasika kuŋanda, ndakali kulila. Ndakasoleka kupandulula ncindakanyemede, pele wakandityokezya. Wakandaambila kuti tiikakali kaambo kayakoomoonga, alimwi akundaambila kuti ndikalube buyo. Eeci cakandipa kuti ndinyeme kapati.”

SENA kuli ziindi nomulimvwa mbuli ba Will naa ba Rachel? Boonse bobilo balayanda kubandika, pele ziindi zinji balanyemezyanya. Nkaambo nzi?

Bamaalumi abamakaintu baliindene mbobabandika, alimwi nzyobayanda ziliindene. Mukaintu ulakonzya kuti ziindi zinji kayandisya kwaamba mbwalimvwa alimwi cakwaanguluka. Pele bunji bwa bamaalumi, basola kubamba luumuno kwiinda mukumana mapenzi cakufwambaana alimwi akweeleba mapenzi aakatazya. Aboobo, mbuti mbomunga mwakuzunda kwiindana kuliboobu alimwi akubandika amulumi naa amukaintu wanu? Kwiinda mukumulemeka ngomukwetene limwi.

Muntu uujisi bulemu, ulabalemeka bamwi alimwi ulabikkila maano kuzyiba mbobalimvwa. Kuzwa kubwana, ndiza mwakayiya kulemeka bantu balaanguzu zyabweendelezi naa ibajisi luzyibo kwiinda ndomujisi. Pele mucikwati, buyumuyumu buliko mbwakutondezya bulemu kumuntu ngomweelene limwi—ngomukwetene limwi. Ba Linda ibali mucikwati kwamyaka iili lusele, bakaamba kuti: Ndakalizyi kuti Phil wakali kukonzya kuswiilila cakukkazyika moyo kubantu bambi bakali kubandika anguwe. Ndakali kuyanda kuti andime kandifwida lubomba.” Ambweni mulaswiilila cakukkazyika moyo alimwi akwaambaula cabulemu kubeenzinyoko akubantu mbomutazyi. Sena mulamubikkila maano muntu ngomukwetene limwi?

Kubula bulemu kuletela mazwanga muŋanda. Muleli sibusongo wakati: “Munsuma muyumu antoomwe aluumuno Mubotu kwiinda iŋanda iizwide mapobwe ankondo.” (Tusimpi 17:1) Ibbaibbele lyaambila mwaalumi kweendelezya mukaintu wakwe cabulemu. (1 Petulo 3:7) “Mukaintu awalo weelede kumulemeka kapati mulumaakwe.”—Baefeso 5:33.

 Mbuti mbomukonzya kubandika cabulemu? Amubone lulayo lumwi lujanika mu Bbaibbele lukonzya kumugwasya.

Ciindi Ngomukwetene Limwi Najisi Cakwaamba

Penzi: Bantu banji bayandisya kwaambaula kwiinda kuswiilila. Sena andinywe mbomubede? Bbaibbele lyaamba kuti mufubafuba muntu ‘uuvuwa katana kumvwa.’ (Tusimpi 18:13) Aboobo, kamutanaambaula, amuswiilile. Nkaambo nzi? Ba Kara, ibaakwatwa myaka iili 26 yainda, bakaamba kuti: “Ndilaakuciyanda kuti naa balumi bangu tiibasoleka kwaamana mapenzi aangu mpoonya-mpoonya. Tabeelede kuzumina naa kuzyiba kaambo penzi ncolyacitikila. Ncendiyanda buyo nkundiswiilila alimwi akuzyiba mbondilimvwa.”

Kulubazu lumwi, baalumi abamakaintu bamwi balawayawaya kwaamba mbobalimvwa alimwi tabalimvwi kabotu kuti naa ngobakwetene limwi wabasungilizya kuti baambe mbobalimvwa. Ba Lorrie, ibakazwa akukwatwa, bakaamba kuti balumi babo bakali kutola ciindi kwaamba mbobalimvwa. Bakaamba kuti: “Ndeelede kukkazyika moyo alimwi akulindila kutegwa baambe mbobalimvwa.”

Kumana Penzi: Ikuti nywebo angomukwetene limwi muyandika kubandika kaambo kamwi ikakonzya kumuzwanganya, amukabandike ciindi nyoonse nomukkalikene mumizeezo alimwi kamuliibide. Ino kuti ngomukwetene limwi kawayawaya kwaambaula? Amuzyibe kuti “makanze aamumoyo wamuntu ali mbuli maanzi malamfu, Pele muntu uucenjede ulaayubununa.” (Tusimpi 20:5) Ikuti kapeelo mwakakwela cakufwambaana kuzwa mucikala, maanzi manji inga atikayika. Mbubwenya buyo, kuti mwamusinikizya kubandika ooyo ngomukwetene limwi, ulakonzya kutalika kukazya kutegwa alikwabilile alimwi inga mwapa kuti ataambi mbwalimvwa. Muciindi caboobo, amubuzye mibuzyo kabotu-kabotu, icabulemu, alimwi amukkazyike moyo kuti ngomukwetene limwi katapandululi mbwalimvwa cakufwambaana mbuli mbomuyanda.

Ciindi ngomukwetene limwi naambaula, ‘mweelede kufwambaana kuswiilila, kumuka kwaambaula, kumuka kukalala.’ (Jakobo 1:19) Muswiilizi mubotu taswiilili buyo twaambo twaambwa, pele ulasoleka kuzyiba mbwalimvwide muntu ooyu acamupa kuti aambe twaambo ooto. Ciindi ngomukwetene limwi naambaula, amusoleke kuzyiba mbwalimvwa. Ngomukwetene limwi ulakonzya kubona naa mulamulemeka naa tamumulemeki kwiinda munzila njomumuswiilila.

Jesu wakatuyiisya mbotweelede kuswiilila. Mucikozyanyo, mwaalumi iwakali kuciswa naakamusikila kulomba lugwasyo, Jesu tanaakalimana penzi mpoonya-mpoonya. Jesu wakasaanguna kuswiilila ncaakali kulomba mwaalumi ooyu. Kumane nzyaakamvwa zyakamukulwaizya kutola ntaamu. Mpoonya wakamuponya mwaalumi ooyu. (Maako 1:40-42) Ciindi ngomukwetene limwi naambaula, amutobele cikozyanyo nciconya eeci. Amuyeeye kuti ndiza ooyu ngomukwetene limwi uyanda buyo kuti muswiilile nzyaamba, kutali kumana penzi cakufwambaana. Aboobo, amuswiilisisye. Amusole kulimvwa mbwalimvwide ngomukwetene limwi. Lino, eeci nceciindi cilikke ncomweelede kumucitila nzyayandika. Kwiinda mukucita oobo muyootondezya kuti mulamulemeka ngomukwetene limwi.

AMUSOLE NZILA EEYI: Ciindi ciboola aakutalika kwaambaula ngomukwetene limwi, mutakainguli mpoonya-mpoonya. Amukalindile kusikila akamanizye kwaambaula alimwi mukazimvwe nzyayooamba. Mwaakumana, mukamubuzye ngomukwetene limwi kuti, “Sena kuli cimbi ncondali kukonzya kucita kutegwa ulimvwe kuti ndalikuswiilila ncobeni?”

Ciindi Nomujisi Cakwaamba

Penzi: Ba Linda, ibaambwa kumatalikilo, bakaamba kuti: “Mafilimu atondezya mbuli kuti kumwaamba zyintu zibi muntu ngomukwetene limwi alimwi akumutukila zili buyo kabotu.” Bamwi bakomenena mumikwasyi mobabelesya ŋambawido iitali yabulemu. Ciindi nobakwata naa kukwatwa, cilabakatazya kuleka kwiibelesya ŋambawido eeyi mumikwasyi yabo. Ba Ivy ibakkala ku Canada bakaamba kuti: “Ndakakomenena mumukwasyi mwalo kubbodola, kubwenta, alimwi akwiitana mazyina atali kabotu mozyakali kucitika lyoonse.”

Kumana Penzi: Nomwaambaula kuli bamwi kujatikizya ngomukwetene limwi, amwaambe “buyo  ijwi lili kabotu kukuyaka bamwi kweelana abukkale aciindi eeco, kutegwa libe jwi likonzya kubagwasya aabo baswiilila.” (Baefeso 4:29) Amwaambe zyintu zibotu kujatikizya ngomukwetene limwi kutegwa abamwi kabamulemeka.

Nociba ciindi nomuli nyolikke angomukwetene limwi, mutabelesyi majwi aakubbodola alimwi akumwiita mazyina aatali kabotu. Mu Israyeli yansiku, Mikala wakamunyemena mulumi wakwe—Mwami Davida. Wakaambaula cakubbodola alimwi akumwaambila kuti wakacita “mbubonya mbubalivumbula basikambotwembotwe.” Majwi aakwe akamunyemya Davida alimwi awalo Leza taakamukkomanisya. (2 Samuele 6:20-23) Nciiyo nzi ncotwiiya? Ciindi nomubandika angomukwetene limwi, mweelede kusala majwi aakubelesya. (Bakolose 4:6) Ba Phil ibakkala mucikwati kwamyaka iili lusele, baamba kuti balo abakaintu babo baciimpana. Bakajana kuti zimwi ziindi nzyobaamba zipa buyo kuti penzi liyaambele. “Ndabona kuti kuyanda ‘kuzunda’ ngomukwetene limwi ciindi nomukazyanya tacigwasyi pe. Ndajana kuti cikkomanisya alimwi cigwasya nkuyumya cilongwe cesu.”

Mukamufwu umwi uucembeede wansiku wakakulwaizya bamukabana bakwe kuti ‘bajane cilyokezezyo umwi aumwi muŋanda yamulumaakwe.’ (Rute 1:9) Ikuti mwaalumi amukaintu kabalemekana, ŋanda yabo inooli “cilyokezezyo.”

AMUSOLE NZILA EEYI: Amujane ciindi angomukwetene limwi cakubandika twaambo tuli mukatwe aaka. Amubuzye ngomukwetene limwi kuti: “Nondaambaula kujatikizya nduwe mubuleya, sena ulimvwa kuti ndilakulemeka naa tandikulemeki? Ino nkucinca kuli buti nkondikonzya kucita?” Amuswiililisye ciindi ngomukwetene limwi naamba mbwalimvwa. Amusoleke kubelesya nzila nzyomwamvwa.

Amukuzumine Kwiindana Nkwaindene Andinywe Ngomukwetene Limwi

Penzi: Banabukwetene bamwi bapya cakutazyiba bakali kuyeeya kuti icaambwa mu Bbaibbele kuti “mubili omwe” cipandulula kuti banabukwetene beleede kweendelana mbobayeeya naa kuba abube bukozyenye. (Matayo 19:5) Pele tiilyakalampa, bakazyiba kuti eeci tacikonzyi kucitika. Bakwatana buyo, kwiimpana kwabo kanji-kanji kupa kuti kabazwangana. Ba Linda bakaamba kuti: “Kwiindana kumwi kupati akati kesu nkwakuti Phil talibiliki mbwelibilika. Zimwi ziindi inga uliliibide ciindi nondilibilika, aboobo cindipa kunyema nkaambo cilibonya mbuli kuti tabikkili maano kucintu cimwi mbuli mbwebikkila maano.”

Kumana Penzi: Amuzumine mbwabede ngomukwetene limwi, alimwi amukulemeke kwiindana kuliko akati kenu. Mucikozyanyo: Meso alisiyene mbwabeleka amatwi pele zibelekela antoomwe, aboobo mulakonzya kukosola mugwagwa kabotu. Ba Adrienne ibakwetwe kwamyaka itandila ku 30, bakaamba kuti: “Kufwumbwa kuti mizeezo yesu kaitasotoki ncolyaamba Jwi lya Leza, balumi bangu andime tulazumina kuba amizeezo iisiyene. Alimwi kayi tee tukwetene buyo, pele tatuli muntu omwe.”

Ikuti ngomukwetene limwi kajisi muzeezo wiindene ambomuyeeya, amubikkile maano kuzyintu nzyayanda kutali nzyomuyanda zyalo. Amubikkile maano mbwalimvwa ngomukwetene limwi. (Bafilipi 2:4) Balumi baba Adrienne, ba Kyle bakaamba kuti: “Talili lyoonse nonditumvwisya naa kuzumina mizeezo yamukaintu wangu mutwaambo tumwi. Pele ndilaliibalusya kuti ndilamuyanda kapati kwiinda muzeezo wangu. Ikuti mukaintu wangu kakkomene, andime ndilakkomana kapati.”

AMUSOLE NZILA EEYI: Amulembe zyintu nzyomubona kuti ngomukwetene limwi ucita kabotu kumwiinda. (Bafilipi 2:3)

Bulemu ncimwi cazyintu ziyandika kapati kutegwa kamukkomene mucikwati alimwi akuti cizumanane. Ba Linda bakaamba kuti: “Bulemu buletela kukkutila alimwi alukwabililo kucikwati. Masimpe bulemu bulayandika kuba ambubo.”

[Bupanduluzi buyungizidwe]

AMULIBUZYE KUTI . . .

▪ Ino kwiindana nkwaindene andime ngotukwetene limwi kwaugwasya buti mukwasyi wesu?

▪ Nkaambo nzi ncocili kabotu kutobela ncayanda ngotukwetene limwi kufumbwa kuti njiisyo zyamu Bbaibbele tazikoosotokwa?