Akati kamwaka wa 1990 awa 2015, mweelwe wabantu ibakalekana balaamyaka yakuma 50 akwiinda aawo mu United States wakayungizyika ziindi zyobilo, mpoonya wabantu bali aamyaka iinda ku 65 wakayungizyika ziindi zyotatwe. Ino ncinzi cipa banabukwetene bayaabucembaala kulekana? Mbuti mbomukonzya kupa kuti cikwati canu citajatikizyigwi?

Mucibalo eeci tulalanga-langa makani aatobela:

•  Ino ncinzi cipa banabukwetene bayaabucembaala kulekana?

•  Ncomukonzya kucita

•  Nzyomukonzya kubandika

•    Kanji-kanji, cilongwe cabanabukwetene bapati ibalekana cilaakutalika kuyaabuceya asyoonto-syoonto. Mukuya kwaciindi, bamalumi abamakaintu bamwi inga batalika kukkomanina zintu ziindene calo cipa kuti ziceye nzyobacitila antoomwe. Naa ciindi bana nobakomena akuzwa aŋanda, banabukwetene balakonzya kujana kuti, kwaciindi cilamfwu bali kubikkila buyo maano kumukuli wakuba bazyali, cakuti baluba kubikkila maano kuli mbobakonzya kuba mulumi naa mukaintu uuli kabotu.

•    Kwamyaka misyoonto yainda, ibantu balyaamba kuti mbaasyaazibwene mumakani aazikwati bakaambila banabukwetene kubikkila buyo maano kuzintu aumwi nzyayanda. Wakati beelede kulibuzya kuti: ‘Sena cikwati cangu cilandipa kuba alukkomano?’ ‘Sena cindipa kuba muntu uuli kabotu?’ ‘Sena ngondikwetene limwi ulanditondezya luyando ndondiyandika?’ Ibantu banji bayeeya kuti, ikuti bwiinguzi bwamibuzyo yoonse eeyi kabuli bwakuti peepe, nkokuti muntu weelede kubweza ntaamu iikonzya kumugwasya yakulekana akutalika buumi bupya.

•   Ibantu banji kulekana bakubona kuti kuli buyo kabotu. Syaazibwene mumakani aabukkale bwabantu wazina lyakuti Eric Klinenberg wakalemba kuti: “Musyule, kufwumbwa muntu watakakkomene ayooyo ngwakwetene limwi, alimwi iwakali kuyanda kumuleka, wakeelede kupa twaambo tumvwika kucakusala eeco. Mazuba aano bukkale buliindene: Ikuti muntu katamukkomanini ooyo ngwakwetene limwi, weelede kupa twaambo tumvwika ncayanda kuzumanana kukkala anguwe mucikwati, nkaambo bantu banji basyoma kuti, icintu ciyandika kapati nkucita cintu cikukkomanisya.” a

 Masimpe kuti, iciindi bantu nobalekana kanji-kanji balajana mapenzi aambi mapya. Mucikozyanyo, bbuku limwi lyaamba kuti: “kulekana kwabanabukwetene bayaabucembaala kanji-kanji kuletela penzi lyakubula mali, kwaambisya kumukaintu.”

 Kuli acintu cimbi ncomweelede kuyeeya. Ibbuku lyakuti Don’t Divorce lyaamba kuti: “Nokuba kuti, mwasola kucinca bukkale bwanu, inga mucili muntu ngweenya. Ino ncinzi ncomwakacita kutegwa mucince nzila yakubandika abamwi yalo yatakagwasya ngomukwetene limwi? Ino ncinzi ncomwakacita kutegwa mucince mbomulyeendelezya ciindi nokwaba mazwanga?” b

•   Amukuzumine kucinca. Kunyina cilongwe citacinci. Cilongwe canu amuntu angomukwetene limwi ambweni cakacinca akaambo kakuti bana banu bakazwa aŋanda naa akaambo kakuti mwakatalika kukkomanina zintu ziindene. Muciindi cakwiile kuyeeya buumi bwanu bwakaindi, amuyeeye nzila zikonzya kumugwasya kuyumya cikwati canu lino.

   Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: “Utaambi kuti, ‘Ino nkaambo nzi mazuba aakaindi ncaakali mabotu kwiinda mazuba aano?’ nkaambo kubuzya kuli boobu takuli kwabusongo pe.”​—Mukambausi 7:10.

•   Amuzumanane kuyumya cilongwe canu. Sena inga mwatalika kukkomanina cintu cimwi ncakkomanina muntu ngomukwetene limwi, naa sena inga mwamugwasya ngomukwetene limwi kuti atalike kukkomanina zintu nzyomukkomanina? Sena inga mwaiya naa kujana cintu cimwi cipya ncomukonzya kukkomanina nyoonse nyobilo? Amulibikkile mbaakani yakujana ciindi cakuba antoomwe, kutegwa nywebo angomukwetene limwi kamulimvwa mbuli kuti banabukwetene bayandana ikutali buyo bantu bakkala antoomwe.

   Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: “Umwi aumwi kayandisya kugwasya bamwi ikutali buyo kuligwasya lwakwe mwini.”​—1 Bakorinto 10:24.

•   Amuzumanane kulemekana. Mutaleki kulemekana akaambo buyo kakuti mwakkala antoomwe kwaciindi cilamfwu. Amubandike munzila yabulemu angomukwetene limwi, alimwi amusole kutondezya bube bubotu mbomwakali kutondezya nomwakali kweebana. Mulakonzya kubelesya mabala mbuli aakuti “ndalomba” akuti “ndalumba.” Lyoonse kamutondezyanya luyando, akumulumba muntu ngomukwetene limwi kuzintu nzyamucitila.

   Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: “Amufwidilane luzyalo, mube amoyo mutete walubomba.”​—Baefeso 4:32.

•   Amuyeeye ziindi zikkomanisya. Amulange mafwoto aamucado antoomwe, naa aayo aatondezya ziindi zimwi nomwakali antoomwe. Kucita boobo kulakonzya kumugwasya kubukulusya luyando akupa kuti muzumanane kulemekana mucikwati canu.

   Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: “Umwi aumwi wanu weelede kuyanda mukaintu wakwe mbubonya mbwaliyanda mwini; kunze lyaboobo, mukaintu awalo weelede kumulemeka kapati mulumaakwe.”​—Baefeso 5:33.