LUGWASYO KUMUKWASYI | KUKOMEZYA BANA
Kulekana Mbokubajatikizya Bana
Banabukwetene bamwi batamvwani baamba kuti kulekana inga kwainda kubota akaambo kabana babo, nkubotu kwiinda kukkala abazyali bakazyanya. Ino bumboni butondezya nzi?
Ino bana bajatikizyigwa buti ciindi bazyali nobalekana?
Buvwuntauzi butondezya kuti bana balanyongana kapati ikuti bazyali balekana. Bana ibajisi bazyali bakalekana balalangilwa:
kulimvwa bubi, kulibilika, alimwi akutyompwa
kucita zintu zikonzya kubacisa naa kucisa bamwi
kuleka kubikkila maano kucikolo naa kucilekela limwi cikolo
kuciswa-ciswa
Kuyungizya waawo, bana banji balipa mulandu akaambo kakulekana kwabazyali babo, bayeeya kuti ambweni mbobakapa kuti cibe boobo naa kuti nobakacita cintu cimwi kutegwa bazyali babo batalekani.
Buyumuyumu mbobajana bana aaba bulazumanana mane kubupati, kwalo nkobanoolimvwa kuti banyina mpindu alimwi cinoobakatazya kusyoma bantu bamwi. Mane buya abalo balalangilwa kuzwa mucikwati ciindi baakujana buyumuyumu.
Masimpe ngakuti: Nokuba kuti bantu bamwi ibasala kulekana baamba kuti cilagwasya kubana, pele kweelana abuvwuntauzi bwakacitwa aaya taali masimpe pe. Syaazibwene umwi mumakani aakulanganya bana wazina lya Penelope Leach wakalemba kuti: “Kulekana kupa kuti bana kabapenga.” a
Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: “Mutabikkili buyo maano kuzintu nzyomuyanda nywebo zilikke, pele akuzintu nzyobayanda bamwi.”—Bafilipi 2:4.
Sena mwanaangu uyoozumanana kukkomana ikuti ndalekwa?
Bantu bamwi inga baamba kuti inzya. Pele kamuyeeyede kuti, ziyandika zyabazyali alimwi azyabana ziliindene. Muntu uuyanda kuti balekane inga uyanda kuti buumi bwakwe bucince. Pele kanji-kanji mwana tayandi kuti buumi bwakwe bucince alimwi uyanda kuti bazyali bakwe kabakkala antoomwe.
Nobakabona bantu banji mbobalekana, basikulemba bbuku lyakuti The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce bakalemba kuti: “Imakani aatadoonekwi ngaaya: ibana tabakkomani pe. Muciindi caboobo, cakusinizya bakaamba kuti, ‘Buzuba bazyali bangu nobakalekana ndakaabona ansi.’” Kuyungizya waawo, bbuku eeli lyakaamba kuti nyika “ilibonya kuti mbusena bunyina bukwabilizi kubana aaba akaambo kakuti bantu mbobakali kusyoma kuti balabakwabilila tiibakacita oobo.
Masimpe ngakuti: Bana tabalangilwi kukkomana ikuti bazyali balekana.
Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: “Kupengana mumizeezo kupa kuti muntu amaninwe nguzu.”—Tusimpi 17:22.
Ino ncinzi ncondeelede kuzyiba caboola kukwaabana mukuli wakukomezya bana ikuti twalekana?
Bazyali bamwi ibakalekana balasola kwaabana mukuli wakukomezya bana mbuli kuti bacikwetene. Nokuba boobo, kucita boobo tacili cuuba-uba. Buvwuntauzi butondezya kuti bantu bakalekana kanji-kanji:
tabajani ciindi cinji cakuba abana babo
tababayiisyi zintu zikozyenye bana babo
balabazumizya kucita cintu cili coonse akaambo kakuti balipa mulandu naa akaambo kakuti inga balikatede
Mwana uujisi bazyali bakalekana inga watalika kulimvwa kuti teelede kuswiilila bazyali bakwe. Kayi buya, bazyali bakwe bakaalilwa kucita ciluzi, mbuli kubamba cikonke cakukkala antoomwe. Mwana ulakonzya kwaamba kuti ‘Nkaambo nzi ncondeelede kubamvwida?’
Masimpe ngakuti: Kwaabana mukuli wakukomezya bana kanji-kanji cilakatazya kubantu ibakalekana. Kumane kubana, bukkale bulaindila kukatazya.
Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: “Mutanoobanyemyi bana banu, kutegwa batatyompwi.”—Bakolose 3:21.
Sena kuli nzila iimbi iikonzya kugwasya?
Kanji-kanji, kuyandika kubeleka canguzu kutalika buumi bupya nobalekana banabukwetene. Pele inga cagwasya kubelesya nguzu eezyo kutegwa cikwati citamani. Bbuku litegwa The Case for Marriage lyaamba kuti: “Akaambo kuti mucikwati kuli mapenzi, tacaambi kuti anooliko lyoonse. Mukuyakwaciindi, banabukwetene batakali kumvwana balatalika kumvwana.” Aboobo masimpe ngakuti, bana bacita kabotu ikuti bazyali babo kabakkala antoomwe.
Eeci tacaambi kuti bantu inga tiibalekana pe. Alimwi buya, Bbaibbele lilazumizya kulekana ikuti umwi wacita bwaamu. (Matayo 19:9) Nokuba boobo, Bbaibbele alimwi lyaamba kuti “ooyo uucenjede ulakkala ansi kuyeeya ntaamu zyakwe.” (Tusimpi 14:15) Banabukwetene bajisi buyumuyumu mucikwati cabo, ibayeeya kulekana, beelede kwaayeeyesya makani aaya kabatanabweza ntaamu iili yoonse. Eeci cilabikkilizya akuyeeya mbobayoojatikizyigwa bana.
Masimpe, nzinji zijatikizyidwe kunze buyo aakuliyumya. Bbaibbele lilijisi lulayo lukonzya kubagwasya banabukwetene kukkomana mucikwati cabo alimwi akuliyumya. Tacidoonekwi kuti lulayo oolo lulagwasya ncobeni, mbwaanga Sikwaanza Bbaibbele, Jehova, nguwakatalisya bubambe bwacikwati.—Matayo 19:4-6.
Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: “Mebo, nde Jehova ndime Leza wako, ndime ndikuyiisya kuti ugwasyigwe.”—Isaya 48:17.
a Kuzwa mubbuku lyakuti Your Growing Child—From Babyhood Through Adolescence.