Pakuŵa mupapi, mungawona nga kuti ni mayiro waka, apo mwana winu mukachitanga kumupakata. Sono wakhala pachoko kufika vyaka 13. Wachali mwana nadi, kweni wali pafupi kukura umwali panji kuŵa munyamata.

Kasi mungamovwira wuli mwana winu para wakufika nyengo yakusuzga iyi?

Mwana waliyose wakukura umwali panji kuŵa munyamata pa nyengo yake. Ŵanyake ŵangakura na vyaka 8 apo ŵanyake ŵangakura para ŵafika vyaka 15. Buku linyake likuti: “Vyaka ivyo mwana wangakulira vikupambana.”—Letting Go With Love and Confidence.

Mwana para wakura wangamba kufipa mtima. Ŵana ŵanyake para ŵakura waka ŵakuchita soni kweniso kufipa mtima para ŵakumana na ŵanyawo. Jared * wakukumbuka umo vinthu vikaŵira kwa iyo, ndipo wakuti: “Nkhafipanga chomene mtima na umo nkhawonekeranga kweniso umo nkhachitiranga vinthu. Para nili na ŵanyane, nkhajifumbanga usange ŵakughanaghana kuti nkhuwoneka wachilendo.” Vinthu vinganangikaso chomene para mwana winu wafuma nthenkhu kumaso. Kellie, wa vyaka 17 wakuti: “Nkhawonanga nga kuti chisko chane chanangika! Nkhukumbuka kuti nkhaliranga, ndipo nkhatenge ndine wambura kutowa.”

Ŵana awo ŵakura luŵiro ŵakukumana na masuzgo ghanyake. Ŵasungwana ndiwo ŵangasuzgika chomeneko. Ŵanyawo ŵangamba kuŵaseka para mabere ghatufya panji ŵaŵa na mbina. Buku linyake likuti: ‘Ŵasungwana awo ŵakura luŵiro umwali ŵakusangana na suzgo lakuti ŵangasongeka na ŵanyamata ŵalara awo ŵali kugonanapo kale na ŵanakazi.’—A Parent’s Guide to the Teen Years.

Para mwana wakura umwali panji wafika pa unyamata chikung’anamura kuti ngwakukhwima yayi. Baibolo likuti: “Uchindere ukuvungika mu mtima wa muwukirano.” (Zintharika 22:15, mazgu ghamusi) Umwali panji unyamata ukusintha uchindere wa munthu yayi. Buku linyake likuti mwana wangakura msinkhu, kweni tingati wafikapo yayi pakuti “wangachita vinthu mwamahara, kujikora, panji kuchita vinthu vinyake vyakulongora kuti ngwakukhwima.”—You and Your Adolescent.

Muphaliliranithu mwana winu pambere wandakure. Muphalirani mwana winu ivyo vikuchitika para munthu wafika pa umwali panji unyamata. Msungwana muphalirani kuti para wakura wakwamba kugeza (kuŵa kumwezi), msepuka muphalirani kuti usange wakura nyengo zinyake wanalume ukufuma wekha para wali mu tulo. Vinthu ivi vingamba kumuchitikira mwana mwamabuchi, ndipo wangatimbanizgika navyo panji wangachita wofi. Para mukudumbiskana nayo nkhani izi, muphalirani makora kuti vinthu ivi nkhwamba waka, vikulongora kuti nayo sono wakulazga ku ulara.—Fundo ya mu Baibolo: Salimo 139:14.

Ŵaphalirani vyose. John wakukumbuka umo ŵapapi ŵake ŵakamuphalilira. Iyo wakuti: “Ŵapapi ŵane ŵakaniphaliranga, kweni ŵakendanga mumphepete. Ine nkhakhumbanga kuti ŵabawulizgenge waka.” Alana, wa vyaka 17, nayo ndimo wakuwonera. Iyo wakuti: “Amama ŵakanovwira kupulikiska ivyo vikachitiskanga kuti thupi lane lisinthe, kweni nkhughanaghana kuti mphanyi ŵakaniwovwira umo ningachitira.” Kasi apa tikusambirapo vichi? Nangauli chingaŵa chakusuzga, kweni muphalirani mwana winu vyose ivyo vikuchitika para munthu wakura umwali panji wafika pa unyamata.—Fundo ya mu Baibolo: Milimo 20:20.

Fumbani mafumbo mwakuti mwana winu nayo wayowoyengepo. Kuti mwana winu wafwatuke kuyowoya, yowoyani umo ŵanyake ŵakuchitira para ŵakura umwali. Mungafumba mwana winu msungwana kuti, “Kasi walipo munyako waliyose mu kilasi uyo wali kuyowoyapo kuti wali kwamba kugeza?” “Kasi ŵasungwana awo ŵakura luŵiro umwali ŵanyawo ŵakuŵaseka?” Mungafumba mwana winu msepuka kuti: “Kasi ŵanyako ku sukulu ŵakuseka para ŵawona kuti munyawo wakuchedwa kukura?” Para ŵana ŵamba kuyowoya umo ŵanyawo ŵakuchitira pa nkhani iyi, chikuŵa chipusu kuti ŵambe kuyowoya umo iwo ŵakughanaghanira. Para ŵafwatuka, londezgani ulongozgi wa mu Baibolo uwo ukuti: “Munthu waliyose wapulikenge luŵiro, wazikirenge pakuyowoya.”—Yakobe 1:19.

Movwirani mwana winu kuti waŵe na “vinjeru na kaghanaghaniro kawemi.” (Zintharika 3:21) Para mwana wafika pa umwali panji unyamata, wakuwona kusintha pa thupi lake kweniso maghanoghano. Kweni ni vyenevivi pera yayi. Pa nyengo iyi, mwana winu wakwamba kuŵaso na luso lwa kughanaghana ulo luzamumovwira kuchita vinthu mwamahara para wafika pa ulara. Ntheura pa nyengo iyi musambizgani mwana winu makhaliro ghawemi.—Fundo ya mu Baibolo: Ŵahebere5:14.

Kuleka yayi. Ŵana ŵanandi ŵakuŵa nga ŵakugongowa kuyowoya na ŵapapi ŵawo vya kukura umwali panji unyamata, kweni imwe kuleka yayi. Buku linyake likuti: ‘Mwana uyo para mukuyowoya nayo nkhani izi, wakuŵa nga wakukhumba yayi, wakuŵikako mahara yayi, panji wakupulika yayi, nyengo zinyake ndiyo wakusungilira mazgu ghose agho mukumuphalira.’—You and Your Adolescent.