1-2. Wetin one brother learn about to advice person?

 MANY years ago, two elders visit one sister. This sister don de miss meeting for some time. One of the elders show the sister some Bible verse them about why e good to go meeting. This elder think say they don encourage the sister. But as this elder and the other elder de comot, the sister talk say, “Wuna no understand wetin I de face.” The brothers don advice the sister, but they no ask the sister about the things wey e de face. Because of that one, the sister no feel say e gain from the advice.

² The elder wey show the sister the Bible verse them, talk say: “That time, I think say the sister no respect us. But as I think about wetin happen that time, I see say I read the correct Bible verse them but I suppose ask the correct questions like, ‘Wetin don de happen for your life?’ ‘How I fit help you?’ ” The elder learn important thing from that thing wey happen. Today, this elder know how to feel the pain of other people and e de help them.

3. Which person for congregation fit give advice?

 ³ Because elders na shepherds, they get the work to advice person when e need advice. But other people for congregation fit give advice sometimes. For example, brother or sister for congregation fit advice e friend from Bible. (Ps. 141:5; Prov. 25:12) Or, sister wey don mature for age fit “advise  the young women” for some kind matter wey Titus 2:3-5 talk about. And the truth na say, mama and papa need to always advice and correct their children. Na true say this article na for elders especially, but all of us fit gain when we check the different ways wey we fit give advice wey go help person and move the person to do the correct thing, and wey go “make the heart over glad.”—Prov. 27:9.

4. Wetin we go talk about for this article?

⁴ For this article, we go talk about four questions wey concern to give advice: (1) Wetin suppose move you to give advice? (2) You really need to give the advice? (3) Who suppose give the advice? (4) How you fit give better advice?

5. How love fit help elder to give advice for way wey go make people accept the advice? (1 Corinthians 13:4, 7)

⁵ Elders love their brothers and sisters. Sometimes, them de show their love when they advice person wey want make mistake. (Gal. 6:1) But, before the elder go talk to the person, na fine thing for the elder to think about some of the things wey apostle Paul talk about love. Bible talk say: “Love dey patient and kind. . . . E de bear everything, believe everything, get hope for everything, endure everything.” (Read 1 Corinthians 13:4, 7.) When elder think deep about this Bible verse them, this one go help the elder to make sure say e give the advice because of love. If the person wey de receive the advice see say the elder de give the advice because e care, this one fit make the person accept the advice more.—Rom. 12:10.

6. Which better example apostle Paul show?

⁶ Apostle Paul show better example as elder. For example, Paul advice the brothers for Thessalonica when they need-am. But for the letters wey Paul write to them, e first praise them for the work wey them de do because of their faith and love, and as them de endure. E still talk about their condition and tell them say e know say life no easy for them, and say them de really endure suffer from people. (1 Thess. 1:3; 2 Thess. 1:4) E even tell the brothers say they be example for other Christians. (1 Thess. 1:8, 9) They go don really happy say Paul praise them well! True-true, Paul love e brothers no be small. Because of this one, e fit give better advice for the letters wey e write to the brothers and sisters for Thessalonica.—1 Thess. 4:1, 3-5, 11; 2 Thess. 3:11, 12.

7. Why e be say person fit no do well even after e receive advice?

⁷ Wetin fit happen if we no advice person for correct way? One elder with experience talk say, “Some people no de do well after they receive advice. This one no be because something dey wrong about the advice, but na because the person wey give the advice no give-am with love.” Wetin this one teach us? E dey more easy for person to accept advice when the person wey give the advice give-am because of love, and no be because e de vex.

8. Wetin elder suppose ask e self before e decide whether e need to give person advice?

⁸ Make elders no de rush to give advice. Before elder go give advice, e suppose ask e self say: ‘I really need to talk something? I really dey sure say the thing wey the other person de do dey bad? Bible condemn wetin the person de do? Or the thing wey the person de do just dey different from wetin I for do if na me  dey e condition?’ Elders de show say they get sense when them “de think before [they] talk.” (Prov. 29:20) If the elder no dey sure say the person need advice, e fit ask another elder whether e think say Bible condemn the thing wey the person de do.—2 Tim. 3:16, 17.

9. Wetin we learn from Paul about how to advice person for the way e de dress and de arrange e self? (1 Timothy 2:9, 10)

⁹ Make we see one example. Make we talk say one elder de worry about the kind dress wey one brother or sister de wear, or the way e de arrange e self. The elder fit ask e self say, ‘Any reason dey for Bible why I need to talk something?’ Because the elder no want give e own idea as the advice, e fit ask another elder about wetin e think, or another brother or sister wey fit think this kind matter well. The two of them fit check the advice wey Paul give about dressing and the way Christian suppose arrange e self. (Read 1 Timothy 2:9, 10.) Paul mention some kind things wey fit guide Christians. And e talk say Christians suppose de wear better cloth to show say they no de over do something and say them de think well. But Paul no give law about things wey person go fit wear and wetin e no go fit wear. E know say the brothers and sisters get the right to wear wetin they like to wear, as far say Bible no condemn-am. So when elders de check whether person need advice, they suppose think whether the thing wey the person choose to do show say the person know where e suppose do reach and say e de think well.

10. Wetin we suppose remember about the decision wey other people de make?

¹⁰ E dey important make we remember say, two brothers fit make different decisions, but the two of them go dey correct. We no suppose force our brothers and sisters to do the thing wey we feel say be the correct thing.—Rom. 14:10.

11-12. If elder need to give advice, which questions e need to ask e self, and why?

¹¹ If e dey clear say we go need to give advice, the next question wey we go ask na, Who suppose give the advice? Before elder go advice sister wey don marry or young person wey still dey under e papa and mama, make the elder first talk to the family head. Maybe the family head fit choose to handle the matter by e self. * Or the family head fit talk say e go like to dey there when the elder de give the advice. And as  paragraph 3 talk, sometimes, e better make sister wey don mature for age advice young sister.

 ¹² Another thing dey wey elder suppose think about. Elder fit ask e self say, ‘Na me suppose give the advice or if another person give the advice, na that one go better pass?’ For example, person fit de feel say e no reach anything. If elder wey don face this kind thing before advice this kind person, e go dey more easy for the person to accept the advice. Maybe na elder wey don experience this kind thing before, go fit feel the pain of the person more. And e fit talk things for the way wey the person fit accept. But, na all elders get the work to encourage and to make their brothers and sisters change anything wey Bible want make they change. So the number one important thing be say the person receive the advice, even if the elder wey give the advice never face that kind thing before.

13-14. Why e dey important for elder to listen?

¹³ Dey ready to listen. When elder de prepare to give advice, e suppose ask e self say: ‘Wetin I know about the condition wey my brother de face? Wetin de happen for e life? E de face problems wey I no know? Wetin be the number one thing wey e need now?’

¹⁴ The thing wey James 1:19 talk, really concern people wey de give advice. James talk for there say: “Everybody must dey ready to listen more, no de talk quick, and no de vex quick.” Elder fit think say e know everything about the matter, but e really know everything? Proverbs 18:13 tell us say: “When person de put mouth for matter before e hear the whole story, na foolish thing and na disgrace.” The best thing na to ask the person wetin happen. So the elder suppose listen before e talk. Remember wetin the elder wey we talk about for the beginning of this article talk say e learn. E learn say, instead wey e go start the visit with the thing wey e don prepare, e for don ask the sister this kind questions: “How things be for you?” “Wetin I fit do to help you?” If elders take the time to find out about the situation, this one fit make-am dey possible for them to help and encourage their brothers and sisters.

15. How elders fit use the advice for Proverbs 27:23?

¹⁵ Try to know the sheep. As we don talk for the beginning of this article, to give better advice no be just to read some Bible verse them, or to talk one or two things. Our brothers and sisters need to see say we care about them, we understand them, and we want help them. (Read Proverbs 27:23.) Make elders do their best to dey tight with their brothers and sisters.

16. Wetin go help elders give better advice?

¹⁶ Elders no want make their brothers de think say the only time when they go want talk to them, na only when something happen. Instead, them de always talk with their brothers and sisters, and de show them say they care about them when them  de face problems. One brother wey don be elder for long time, talk say, “If you do like that, you go be their friend. Then, when you go need to give advice, e go dey more easy to do-am.” And e go dey easy for the person wey de receive the advice to accept-am.

17. Which time elder especially need to dey patient and kind?

¹⁷ Dey patient and dey kind. We need to dey patient and kind, especially when person no want quick follow Bible advice the first time. Elder need to dey careful make e no vex if the brother or sister wey e de advice no gree follow the advice. Bible talk about Jesus say: “E no go crush any plant wey go soon die, and e no go quench any wick wey still get small fire.” (Matt. 12:20) When elder dey alone de pray, the elder fit tell Jehovah to bless the person wey need the advice, make Jehovah help the person understand the reason why e de give the advice, and make the person follow-am. The brother wey receive the advice fit need some time to think about wetin they talk. If the elder dey patient and e dey kind, the person wey e de try to help no go put e mind for the way they give the advice, but e go listen to the advice. The truth na say, e good make the advice de always come from Bible.

18. (a) When we de give advice, wetin we suppose remember? (b) For the picture wey connect with the box, wetin the papa and mama de talk about?

¹⁸ Learn from your mistake. Because we no dey perfect, we no go fit follow everything wey this article talk wey mistake no go dey. (Jas. 3:2) We go make mistakes. But if e happen, make we try learn from our mistake. If our brothers and sisters fit notice say we love them, e go dey more easy for them to forgive us when we talk or do wetin make them vex.—Still check the box “ Some Things Wey Fit Help Papa and Mama.”

19. How we fit make the heart of our brothers and sisters over glad?

¹⁹ As we don see, e no dey easy to give better  advice. We no dey perfect and the people wey we de advice no dey perfect too. Make you de remember the things wey we don talk about for this article. Make sure say you de give the advice because of love. And make you dey sure say the person really need the advice, and na you suppose give the advice. Before you give advice, make you ask questions and listen well so that you go fit understand the thing wey the person de face. Try to see the matter the way the person de see-am. Dey gentle and try dey tight with your brothers and sisters. Remember the main thing: We no only want give better advice, but we still want make “the heart over glad.”—Prov. 27:9.