STUDY ARTICLE 21
SONG 107 De Show Love Like Jehovah
How You Fit Find Person Wey You Fit Marry?
“Who fit find better wife? Im value better pass coral by far.”—PROV. 31:10.
WETIN WE GO LEARN?
We go talk about some advice for Bible wey fit help person find good brother or sister wey e fit marry. We go still talk about how people for congregation fit help and encourage brothers and sisters wey never marry.
1-2. (a) Wetin you suppose think about before you start relationship? (b) Wetin e mean to dey for “relationship”? (Check “Word Wey We Explain.”)
YOU go like to marry? Even though say no be must say person go marry before e go fit happy for life, many servants of Jehovah wey never marry, de hope say one day, them go marry. The truth be say before you start any relationship, you need to make your friendship with Jehovah strong, know yourself well, and ready to care for your family. a (1 Cor. 7:36) If na so e be for you, this one fit help you enjoy your marriage.
2 But e no easy to find person wey go be better husband or wife. (Prov. 31:10) And even when you see person wey you think say e fit be better husband or wife for you, e fit no easy to start relationship b with the person. For this article, we go talk about wetin fit help brothers and sisters wey never marry to find person wey fit be better husband or wife for them, and how them fit start relationship. We go still talk about how other people for congregation fit support people wey want marry.
WETIN FIT HELP YOU SEE BETTER PERSON WEY YOU FIT MARRY?
3. When servant of Jehovah de look for person to marry, wetin e need to get for mind?
3 If you go like to marry, e go better make you know the kind character wey you go like make the person wey you want marry get, before you start any relationship. If you no do like that, person wey good for you fit dey around you, but you fit no see-am. Or you fit start relationship with person wey no good for you to marry. The truth be say anybody wey you want start relationship with suppose be servant of Jehovah wey don baptize. (1 Cor. 7:39) But, no be every servant of Jehovah wey don baptize go be good person for you to marry. So you need to ask yourself this questions: ‘Wetin I plan to do for future? Which better-better character I go like make the person wey I go marry get? Wetin I de expect dey possible?’
4. Wetin some people don beg Jehovah for their prayer?
4 If you want marry, we dey sure say you don pray to Jehovah about-am. (Phil. 4:6) Na true say Jehovah no promise say e go give anybody husband or wife, but this one no mean say Jehovah no care about wetin you need and how you de feel. E fit help you as you de look for person wey you fit marry. So continue to pray to-am, tell-am wetin you want and how you de feel. (Ps. 62:8) Pray make e help you dey patient, and give you sense. (Jas. 1:5) Brother John c for United States, wey never marry, tell us wetin e de tell Jehovah for im prayer. E talk say: “I de tell Jehovah the better-better character wey I go like make the sister wey I go marry for future get. I de pray make e help me dey for place wey I go see the person wey I fit marry. Everyday, I de beg Jehovah make e help me get better character wey go make me be better husband.” Sister Tanya wey dey Sri Lanka, talk say: “As I de look for brother wey I fit marry, I pray to Jehovah say make e help me continue to hold-am tight and de happy.” Even if you never see person wey you fit marry, Jehovah promise say e go continue to give you wetin you need, and show say e really love you.—Ps. 55:22.
5. If you de look for person wey you fit marry, how you fit meet brother or sister wey love Jehovah like you? (1 Corinthians 15:58) (Still check the picture.)
5 Bible advice us say, make we “get plenty things to do for the work of the Lord.” (Read 1 Corinthians 15:58.) If you dey busy for Jehovah work, and de spend time with different-different brothers and sisters, you no go only enjoy their friendship, but you go still get plenty chance to meet other people wey never marry and wey de use all their mind worship Jehovah like you. And as you de do your best to make Jehovah happy, na so you go de happy.
If you dey busy for Jehovah work, and de spend time with different-different brothers and sisters, e fit help you meet other brothers and sisters wey never marry but wey go like to marry (Check paragraph 5)
6. As you de look for brother or sister wey you fit marry, wetin you suppose remember?
6 You need to dey careful so that as you de look for brother or sister wey you want marry, make this one no be the number one thing for your life. (Phil. 1:10) Wetin de make person really happy na im friendship with Jehovah, no be whether e marry, or e no marry. (Matt. 5:3) Now wey you never marry, this na better chance for you to do more for Jehovah. (1 Cor. 7:32, 33) Make you use this time well. Sister Jessica for United States wey marry when e don de reach 40 years, talk say: “Before I marry, I de spend plenty time for preaching. This one help me to de happy even though say I never marry.”
TAKE TIME LOOK THE PERSON WELL
7. Why e good make you take time look the person wey you think say you fit marry, before you tell-am wetin dey your mind? (Proverbs 13:16)
7 If you don see person wey you go like to marry, wetin you go do? You go just rush tell the person wetin dey your mind? Bible talk say person wey get sense, de try know something well before e do-am. (Read Proverbs 13:16.) So you go show say you get sense if you take time look the person well, even when the person no know, before you tell-am wetin dey your mind. Brother Austin for Netherlands, talk say: “You fit get feelings for person fast-fast, and na so the feelings fit go quick-quick. So if you take your time look the person well, you no go start relationship because of the way you de feel and after small time, the feelings disappear.” Another thing be say, as you de take time look the person, you fit come see say the person no go be better husband or wife for you.
8. How you fit take time look the person wey you want marry before you tell-am wetin dey your mind? (Still check the picture.)
8 How you fit take style look the other person when the person no know? For meeting and for get-together, you fit see some things about im character, the way e de behave, and about im friendship with Jehovah. Who be im friends, and wetin e de like talk about? (Luke 6:45) Wetin you plan to do with your life dey the same with im own? You fit ask elders for im congregation and other brothers and sisters wey know-am well. (Prov. 20:18) You fit ask wetin people know about-am and im character. (Ruth 2:11) As you de try to look this person, no do things wey go make the person shame or de feel somehow. No de follow the person go everywhere or try know everything about the person.
Before you tell one brother or sister say you get interest for-am, try take time know the person well (Check paragraph 7-8)
9. Before you go talk to the person wey you think say e fit be better husband or wife for you, wetin you suppose dey sure of?
9 How long you go look the person before you tell-am wetin dey your mind? If you quick tell-am wetin dey your mind, e fit see you as person wey no de take im time think well, before e make decision. (Prov. 29:20) And if the other person know say you get interest for-am but you de waste time to talk, the person fit see you as person wey no know wetin e want. (Eccl. 11:4) Remember say you no need to dey sure say you go marry the person, before you go talk to the person. But you need to dey sure say you don ready to marry, and say the other person fit be better husband or wife for you before you go talk to-am.
10. Wetin you go do if you see say one brother or sister get interest for you, but you no like-am?
10 Wetin you go do if you see say one brother or sister get interest for you? If you no get interest for the person, make the way you de do to-am make-am clear say you no get interest. E no go good if you make the person think say you go fit start relationship with-am, when you know say you no like-am.—1 Cor. 10:24; Eph. 4:25.
11. If one brother or sister tell you say make you help-am find person wey e fit marry, wetin you need to put for mind?
11 For some area, na papa or mama, or another mature person for family de choose who you go marry. For some other area, na family members or friends de look for person wey them think say e fit be good husband or wife for you, and then, them go arrange make una meet, so that una go decide if una go like to start relationship. If one brother or sister tell you say make you help-am find person wey e fit marry, e go good make you know wetin e like and wetin e need. If you think say one brother or sister fit be good husband or wife for your friend or family member, e go good make you try know the person well, know im character, and the one wey dey important pass na im friendship with Jehovah. Person friendship with Jehovah better pass money, school wey e go, and the position wey e get for this world. But remember say na the two people go decide if them go marry each other or them no go marry.—Gal. 6:5.
HOW YOU FIT START RELATIONSHIP?
12. If you go like to start relationship with one brother or sister, how you fit tell-am?
12 If you go like to start relationship with one brother or sister, how you fit tell-am? d You fit arrange to meet the person for place wey people dey and tell-am wetin dey your mind, or you talk for phone. E good make you make-am clear for the person say you get interest for-am, and say you go like to know-am more. (1 Cor. 14:9) If the person say make you give-am time to think about-am before e go fit answer you, e good make you give-am time. (Prov. 15:28) And if the person say e no get interest to start relationship with you, make you no force-am.
13. Wetin you go do if one brother or sister tell you say e go like start relationship with you? (Colossians 4:6)
13 Wetin you go do if one brother or sister tell you say e go like start relationship with you? Remember say, e no easy for-am to come tell you how e de feel, so treat-am well and show-am respect. (Read Colossians 4:6.) If you go need time before you give-am answer, let-am know. But no waste too much time to tell-am wetin dey your mind. (Prov. 13:12) If you no get interest for-am, tell-am for kind way and make-am clear. See wetin Brother Hans from Austria do, when one sister tell-am say e go like start relationship with-am. E talk say: “I tell-am my decision for kind way, but I make-am clear say I no get interest. I tell-am my answer at once because I no want make e get-am for mind say e fit dey possible. And after, I try to dey careful, so that the way I de do things with-am no go make-am think say I fit change my mind.” But if you go like to start relationship with-am, tell-am your mind, and make una discuss how una go like make the relationship be. Where una grow and other things, fit make wetin una de expect from the relationship different.
HOW WE FIT SUPPORT BROTHERS AND SISTERS WEY NEVER MARRY?
14. How we fit encourage and help brothers and sisters wey never marry with wetin we de talk?
14 How we fit encourage and help brothers and sisters wey never marry? One way na to dey careful about the things wey we de talk. (Eph. 4:29) We fit ask ourself say: ‘I de use joke talk some things wey fit make them want rush enter marriage? When I see one brother and sister wey never marry de talk to each other, I de think say them dey for relationship?’ (1 Tim. 5:13) Another thing be say, make we no make people wey never marry feel say something de miss for their life because them never marry. Brother Hans wey we talk about before, talk say: “Some brothers de ask me say, ‘Why you never marry? Time de go o!’ This kind talk de make people wey never marry to think say other people no value them, and e de make them want rush marry.” So instead of us to de make people wey never marry to feel somehow, e go good make we de look for chance to encourage them.—1 Thess. 5:11.
15. (a) With wetin dey Romans 15:2, before you help person find who e fit marry, wetin you need to put for mind? (Still check the picture.) (b) Wetin you learn from the video wey dey the footnote?
15 Wetin you go do if you feel say one brother and sister go fit be good husband and wife if them marry each other? Bible tell us say make we de think about how other people de feel. (Read Romans 15:2.) Plenty brothers and sisters wey never marry, no de like-am when we show them person wey them fit marry, and we need to respect their decision. (2 Thess. 3:11) Other people fit like-am when we help them, but make we no do-am if them no tell us to do-am. e (Prov. 3:27) For some other people, them like make you help them, but them no like make you go direct. Sister Lydia for Germany wey never marry, talk say: “You fit arrange make the brother and the sister dey for one get-together with other people. Just arrange chance wey go make the two of them fit see each other, and allow them decide wetin them go do.”
Get-together na one way wey brothers and sisters wey never marry fit meet who them go like marry (Check paragraph 15)
16. Wetin brother or sister wey never marry suppose remember?
16 Whether we marry or we no marry, all of us fit happy as we de serve Jehovah. (Ps. 128:1) So if you go like to marry but you never see person wey you fit marry, continue to use all your mind serve Jehovah. Sister Sonia for Macao, talk say: “If person compare the time wey e go spend with im husband or wife for Paradise, to the time wey e take wait till e marry, e go see say the time wey e take wait no reach anything. So enjoy the time wey you get and use-am well.” But if you don see brother or sister wey you think say you fit marry, and una don start relationship, wetin fit help you? For the next article, we go talk about how you fit know the brother or sister well, so that you fit make better decision.
SONG 137 Women Wey Their Faith Strong
a To fit know whether you don ready to marry, go check “Dating—Part 1: Am I Ready to Date?” wey dey jw.org. (For English.)
b WORD WEY WE EXPLAIN: For this article and the one wey follow-am, when we talk about “relationship,” we de talk about the time wey brother and sister de try know each other more to see if them go fit marry. For some area, them de call-am dating, or talk say, that brother and sister de date. Relationship de start when brother tell sister say e like-am, or when sister tell brother say e like-am, and both of them gree say them go like know each other more. E go continue until the time wey the two of them go decide whether to marry each other or end the relationship.
c We change some names.
d For some area, na brother de tell sister say e go like start relationship with-am. But, e no bad for sister to tell brother say e go like start relationship with-am. (Ruth 3:1-13) To learn more, go check the article “Young People Ask . . . How Can I Tell Him How I Feel?” for October 22, 2004 Awake! (For English.)
e Go jw.org and check the video wey the tittle na, People Wey Fight for Their Faith and Succeed—People Wey Never Marry.
