1-2. How some people de feel about the time wey them use know each other to see if them go fit marry?

 THE time wey brother and sister de try know each other to see if them go fit marry, de really sweet. If you dey for relationship, we dey sure say you go like make everything go well. Plenty people don really enjoy this time. For example, Sister Tina a from Ethiopia, talk say: “One of the time wey make me happy pass for my life na when me and my husband de try know each other before we marry. We talk things wey dey important, but this one no mean say we no de laugh. I really happy when I see say I don see person wey I love and e really love me.”

² Brother Alessio for Netherlands, talk say: “I really enjoy the time wey me and my wife de try know each other, but this one no mean say we no face some problem.” For this article, we go talk about some problem wey people wey de try to know each other de face, and some advice for Bible wey fit help them. We go still talk about how other people for congregation fit support them.

WETIN SUPPOSE BE THE REASON FOR TWO PEOPLE TO KNOW EACH OTHER?

3. Why two people de try know each other? (Proverbs 20:25)

³ Even though say the time wey man and woman de use know each other de sweet, them need to know say na serious matter because e fit make them decide say them go marry each other. For the day wey man and woman de marry, them de promise Jehovah say them go love and respect each other as far as say them dey alive. Before you make any promise, you suppose think-am well. (Read Proverbs 20:25.) Especially the promise wey person make before e marry. The time wey man and woman de use know  each other, go help them make better decision. The better decision fit be to end the relationship, or to decide say them go marry each other. Na bad thing if them end the relationship because them see say e no go work? No o! Because e don give them the chance to know if them go fit marry each other or not.

4. Why e good to remember the reason why two people de try know each other?

⁴ E dey important for people wey never marry to remember say, the reason why two people de try know each other na to help them know if them go fit marry. If them get this one for mind, e go make them no start relationship with person wey them don already know say them no go marry. But no be only people wey never marry need to put this one for mind. Na all of us need to get this one for mind. For example, some people de think say if two people dey relationship, e mean say them must marry each other. How this one de affect people wey never marry? Sister Melissa wey never marry wey dey United States, talk say: “When two people de try know each other, some people too de put eye for their body and de expect say them must marry each other. This one no de make things easy at all. Because of this one, some people don continue relationship wey them don see say e no go work. And e don still make some people wey never marry, fear to start relationship.”

TRY KNOW EACH OTHER WELL

5-6. Wetin two people wey dey for relationship suppose try know about each other? (1 Peter 3:4)

⁵ If you dey for relationship, wetin go help you decide if you go marry the person or you no go marry-am? Make una try know each other well. Na true say you fit don know some things about the other person before you start relationship with-am. But now, you get the chance to fit know “the kind person wey [e] be for inside.” (Read 1 Peter 3:4.) You go fit know about im friendship with Jehovah, im character, and the way e de think. As time de go, you suppose fit answer question like: ‘This person go fit be better husband or wife for me?’ (Prov. 31:​26, 27, 30; Eph. 5:33; 1 Tim. 5:8) ‘We go fit love and care for each other? I go fit live with-am even though say e de do some things wey I no like?’ b (Rom. 3:23) Make you remember say wetin dey important pass no be whether the two of una like the same thing, but na how una ready to adjust about the things wey una no like about each other.

⁶ Which other things una need to know about each other? Before una get strong feeling for each other, e good make una discuss some important things like, wetin each of una plan to do  with una life. What about matter wey concern health and money? Or bad things wey fit don happen before for each of una life, wey fit don affect how una de feel, think, and behave? No be every matter una need to talk about when una just start una relationship. (Compare John 16:12.) If you think say e too early to talk about some things wey concern you, make you tell the other person. But, make you remember say as time de go, you go need to tell the other person, because e go help-am make good decision. So, know say time go reach wey you go need to tell the other person everything about yourself.

7. How two people wey dey relationship fit really know each other well? (Still check the box “ When You Dey Relationship With Person Wey De Live for Far Place.”) (Still check the picture.)

⁷ How you fit really know the other person well? You fit do this one when you de ask question, and listen well as the other person de talk. Another thing na to talk how you de really feel. (Prov. 20:5; Jas. 1:19) To fit do this one, una fit choose to do things wey go make-am easy for una to talk to each other. For example, una fit plan to chop together, waka together for area wey people dey, and preach together. Una fit still know about each other when una spend time with friends and family members. Another thing be say, you fit arrange to do things wey go make you see how the other person de behave for different-different situation, with different people. See wetin Brother Austin from Netherlands do, when e de try know Sister Alicia. E talk say: “We arrange to do things wey go make us know each other more. Plenty times, the things wey we de do na simple things, like, to cook together and do other work together with our family and friends. When we de do this things, we de see each other better-better character and where we no de do well.”

8. Wetin two people wey de try know each other go gain if them de study Bible together

⁸ Another thing wey fit help una know each other well na when una de study Bible together. If una marry, una go need to de do family worship so that Jehovah go be number one Person for una marriage. (Eccl. 4:12) So e go good make una arrange time wey una go use study Bible together now, as una de try know each other. Na true say brother no be the head of the sister when them never marry. But, as una de study together, una go fit know how each other friendship with Jehovah really be. Brother Max and im wife Lisa wey dey United States, talk another thing wey them gain as them de study Bible together  before them marry. E say: “Small time after we start to know each other, we start to study our book them wey talk about relationship, marriage, and family matter. As we de study them, e make-am possible for us to fit talk about some important things wey for hard us to talk about.”

OTHER THINGS WEY UNA NEED TO THINK ABOUT

9. Wetin two people wey de try know each other fit think about, when them de decide who them go tell about their relationship?

⁹ Who you fit tell about una relationship? Na the two of una go decide that one. As una start una relationship, una fit decide say una no go tell plenty people. (Prov. 17:27) This one go make una no answer plenty question about una relationship, and people no go push una to make decision. But if una no tell anybody, una fit start to de hide-hide because una no want make people know. And this one no good because e fit make una do something wey no clean for Jehovah eye. So e go good make una tell some people wey fit give una better advice and support una. (Prov. 15:22) For example, una fit tell some people for una family, mature friends, or some elders for una congregation.

10. Wetin go help brother and sister wey dey relationship, to fit dey clean for Jehovah eye? (Proverbs 22:3)

¹⁰ Wetin go help una make una relationship dey clean for Jehovah eye? As time de go, the feeling wey una get for each other go de strong more-more and una go want dey with each other. Wetin go help una make una no do things wey go make Jehovah no happy? (1 Cor. 6:18) Make una no de talk things wey go make sex de hungry una, make una no dey alone together, and make una no de drink too much alcohol. (Eph. 5:3) This things fit make sex de hungry una, and make-am no easy for una to do wetin good for Jehovah eye. E good make una de always talk about things wey una fit do to make una relationship clean for Jehovah eye. (Read Proverbs 22:3.) See wetin help Brother Daniel and Sister Alice from Ethiopia. Them talk say: “We de spend time together when we dey with plenty people or when we dey with our friends. We no ever dey alone for inside motor or inside house. This one help us fit run from temptation.”

11. Wetin two people wey de try know each other need to think about, when them de decide how them go show feelings for each other?

¹¹ What about how una de show feelings for each other? As una relationship de grow, e no bad to show some feelings for each other. But if this one make sex start to hungry una, e fit make-am hard for una to make better decision. (Song of Sol. 1:2; 2:6) Another thing be say, when una de show una feelings for each other, e fit make-am hard for una to control unaself and make una fall for temptation. (Prov. 6:27) So as una start una relationship, make una use Bible advice discuss wetin una go do, and wetin una no go do to show una feelings for each other. c (1 Thess. 4:​3-7) Make una ask unaself say: ‘How people for our area go feel if them see say we de show our feelings for each other? The way we de show feelings for each other fit make sex start to hungry anyone of us?’

12. If brother and sister wey de try know each other de quarrel sometimes or de always quarrel, wetin them suppose put for mind?

¹² When una get problem or una no agree for some things, how una fit handle-am? What if sometimes, una no de agree for some things? This one mean say una relationship no go work? No be wetin e really mean be that, because no be everytime husband and wife de agree for some things. Better marriage na marriage wey  husband and wife de respect each other and ready to adjust to do wetin go make each other happy. So the way una de handle una problems now go show if una go succeed for una marriage. Make una ask unaself say: ‘We de fit discuss our problem for calm way and for the way wey show say we de respect each other? We de quick accept our mistake and do our best make e no happen again? We de quick adjust, talk say we dey sorry, and forgive?’ (Eph. 4:​31, 32) But if now wey una de try know each other, una de always quarrel or no de always agree, the truth be say the situation fit no better after una marry. If you see say the other person no good for you, e go better to end the relationship. This one fit be the best decision for two of una. d

13. Wetin go help two people wey de try know each other, to know how long them go take decide whether them go marry each other or them no go marry?

¹³ How long una go take know each other, before una go decide whether una go marry each other or una no go marry? Many times when we rush make decision, things no de go well. (Prov. 21:5) So take your time to know the person well. But make the relationship no over long before you decide whether you go marry the person or you no go marry-am. Bible talk say: “The heart de sick when person never get wetin e de expect.” (Prov. 13:12) Another thing be say, as time de go, e go de hard more-more to fit run from temptation to sleep with each other. (1 Cor. 7:9) Instead to put mind for how long una don dey the relationship, ask yourself say, ‘Wetin I still need to know about the other person before I make my decision?’

HOW OTHER PEOPLE FIT SUPPORT BROTHER AND SISTER WEY DE TRY KNOW EACH OTHER?

14. How other people fit support two people wey de try know each other? (Still check the picture.)

¹⁴ If you know two people wey de try know each other, how you fit support them? You fit invite them come chop for your house, join una for family worship, or join you and your family go enjoy for somewhere. (Rom. 12:13) This kind things fit help them know each other more. Them need mature person to dey with them when them dey together, or mature person to dey with them inside motor? Or them need where two of them fit talk together? If na wetin them need, you go fit help them? (Gal. 6:10) Sister Alicia, wey we don talk about before, talk wetin brothers and sisters do for e and im husband Austin, when them de try know each other. E talk say: “We really happy when brothers  and sisters tell us say we fit come visit them if we need where we fit talk together wey we no go dey alone.” If two people wey de try know each other tell you say them go like make you dey with them, make you happy to do-am. As you dey with them, make you no waka leave them go far, but know when you need to give them space so that them go fit talk.—Phil. 2:4.

15. Which other thing we fit do to help two people wey de try know each other? (Proverbs 12:18)

¹⁵ We fit still support brother and sister wey de try know each other with wetin we choose to talk. Sometimes, we need to control ourself and no talk anything. (Read Proverbs 12:18.) For example, e fit de hungry us to tell other people say one brother and sister dey for relationship, but e fit be say na them go like to tell other people by theirself. Make we no de gossip them or judge them for matter wey each person get the right to choose. (Prov. 20:19; Rom. 14:10; 1 Thess. 4:11) Another thing be say make we no de talk or ask them questions wey go make them feel say them must marry each other. One sister wey im name na Elise and im husband, talk say: “We feel somehow when other people ask about our wedding plan when two of us never even discuss-am.”

16. Wetin you go do if two people wey de try know each other decide to end their relationship?

¹⁶ Wetin you go do if two people wey de try know each other decide to end their relationship? Make we no de ask them question to know everything wey happen or de blame one of them. (1 Pet. 4:15) One sister wey im name na Lea, talk say: “E really pain me, when I hear say some people de talk different-different things wey them think say e fit don make me and one brother end our relationship.” As we don talk before, when two people end their relationship, e no mean say them don fail. Instead, e mean say the relationship don do im work; wey be to help them make better decision. Even though say na better decision them make, e fit still don cause them pain and them fit de feel say them dey alone. So we fit look for different-different way to help and support them.—Prov. 17:17.

17. If you dey for relationship, wetin two of una need to continue to do?

¹⁷ As we don see, the time wey two people de try know each other de really sweet, but e no mean say them no de face problem. Sister Jessica talk say: “To talk truth, no be small work to try to know who you want marry. But I happy say we try our best and use our relationship to know each other well.” If you dey relationship with brother or sister, make una do una best to know each other well. If una do like that, una relationship go help una fit make better decision.