ʼE TOHI fēnei e te tagata neʼe tau mo te mamahi: “ ʼI taku kei tamasiʼi ʼi Pilitania, neʼe akoʼi ʼau ke ʼaua naʼa ʼau fakahā toku mamahi ia muʼa ʼo te hahaʼi. ʼE kei ʼau manatuʼi pe taku matuʼa, ko he tagata neʼe kau ʼi te solia, ia tana ʼui mai ʼaē kae fakamaʼumaʼu tona ʼu nifo, ‘Tuku tau tagi!’ mokā ʼe ʼi ai he meʼa ʼe ʼau mamahi ai. ʼE mole kei ʼau manatuʼi pe neʼe ʼuma pe neʼe toʼo he tahi ia mātou e tamatou faʼe (neʼe mātou toko fā). Neʼe mate taku matuʼa ka ko toku taʼu 56. Neʼe ʼau logoʼi ohage ko he puli lahi. ʼO aʼu mai ki te temi ʼaia, ko te ʼuluaki meʼa pe neʼe hoko, neʼe mole feala pe la haku tagi.”

ʼI ʼihi ʼu agaʼi fenua, ʼe fakahāhā e te hahaʼi tonatou mamahi. Kapau ʼe nātou fiafia peʼe nātou mamahi, ʼe ʼiloʼi e ʼihi te meʼa ʼaē ʼe ʼi tonatou loto. Kae ʼi te tahi leva faʼahi, ʼi te ʼu potu ʼo te malamanei, tāfito la ia te potu tokelau ʼo te Eulopa pea mo Pilitania, ko te hahaʼi, kae tāfito ki te hahaʼi tagata, neʼe fakamaʼua kia nātou ke nātou fufū te meʼa ʼaē ʼe ʼi tonatou loto, ʼo nātou pulihi te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ʼe nātou loto kiai, ʼo nātou fakaʼaoʼaoganoa pea ʼe mole lahi he meʼa ʼe nātou logoʼi lolotoga te temi faigataʼa pea ʼe mole nātou fakahāhā ʼonatou mamahi. Kae kapau ʼe puli he tahi ʼe koutou ʼofa mamahi ai, tatau aipe pe koteā he faʼahiga meʼa ʼe koutou fai, ʼe kovi koa hakotou fakahāhā ʼo tokotou mamahi? Koteā koa te talanoa ʼa te Tohi-Tapu?

Ko te Tohi-Tapu neʼe tohi e te kau Hepeleo ʼi te potu hahake ʼo te tai ko Metitelanea ʼaē ko te hahaʼi neʼe nātou fakahāhā te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ʼi tonatou loto. Neʼe lahi ai te ʼu faʼifaʼitaki ʼo te ʼu hahaʼi neʼe nātou fakahāhā tonatou mamahi. Neʼe tagi te Hau ko Tavite ʼi te mate ʼaē ʼo tona foha ko Amenone. Koia, neʼe “tagi loʼimata ai ia.” (2 Samuele 13:28-39) Neʼe toe mamahi foki ʼi te puli ʼaē ʼo tona foha heʼe faitotonu ko Apisalone, ʼi tana faiga ʼaē ke ina faʼao te tuʼulaga hau. ʼE fakamatala e te Tohi-Tapu: “Pea ko te hau [ko Tavite] neʼe mamahi ʼaupito pea neʼe hake ia ki te koga fale fata pea neʼe tagi ai ia; pea koʼeni te meʼa neʼe ina ʼui ʼi te lolotoga ʼo tana ʼalu: ‘Toku foha ko Apisalone, toku foha, toku foha ko Apisalone! Ka na neʼe ʼau mate ai la ʼau ka ke maʼuli koe, Apisalone toku foha, toku foha!’ ” (2 Samuele 18:33) Neʼe tagi ia Tavite ohage pe ko te tāmai fuli. Pea neʼe tuʼa fia te fakaʼamu ʼa te ʼu mātuʼa ke nātou mamate kae maʼuʼuli tanatou fānau! ʼE mole mata feʼauga ia te ʼuluaki mate ʼaē ʼa te tamasiʼi ʼi he tahi ʼi tana ʼu mātuʼa.

Neʼe feafeaʼi te aga ʼa Sesu ʼi te mate ʼo tona kaumeʼa ʼaē ko Lasalo? Neʼe tagi ia ʼi tana fakaōvi atu ʼaē ki tona falemaka. (Soane 11:30-38) Ki muli age, neʼe tagi ia Malia Maketalena ʼi tana fakaōvi ʼaē ki te falemaka fakamanatu ʼo Sesu. (Soane 20:11-16) ʼIo, ko he Kilisitiano ʼe mahino ki te ʼamanaki ʼo te fakatuʼuake ʼaē ʼe tuʼu ʼi te Tohi-Tapu ʼe mole loaloaga tona mamahi, ohage ko nātou ʼaē ʼe mole mahino ki te ʼamanaki ʼa  te Tohi-Tapu ʼo ʼuhiga mo te kau mate. Kae ʼe ko he meʼa māhani ʼo te maʼuli, te logoʼi e te tagata te ʼu mamahi, ko te kau Kilisitiano moʼoni, tatau aipe peʼe nātou maʼu te ʼamanaki ki te toe fakatuʼuake, ʼe nātou mamahi pea mo fetāgihi mokā mate he tahi ʼe nātou ʼofa mamahi ai.—1 Tesalonika 4:13, 14.

E feafeaʼi tatatou aga ʼi te temi ʼaenī? ʼI takotou manatu ʼe faigataʼa koa peʼe koutou ufiufi ʼi te fakahā ʼo te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ʼe koutou logoʼi? Koteā koa te ʼu tokoni ʼe foaki atu? Ko te ʼu tonu ʼo te temi ʼaenī ʼe nātou tautau fakahāhā pe ia te poto ʼaē ʼe haʼu mai te ʼAtua. ʼE ʼui maʼa nātou ʼe tonu ke tou fakahā ʼotatou mamahi, ka mole tonu ke tou lolomi. Ko te meʼa ʼaenī ʼe ina fakamanatuʼi mai te ʼu tagata faitotonu ʼo te temi muʼa, ohage la ko Sopo, Tavite, pea mo Selemia, neʼe nātou fakahāhā tonatou mamahi ʼaē ʼe tuʼu ʼi te Tohi-Tapu. Neʼe mole nātou fufū tonatou ʼu mamahi. Koia, ʼe mole ko he aga fakapotopoto ia takotou nonofo takitokotahi ʼo mamaʼo mo te hahaʼi. (Tāʼaga Lea 18:1) ʼIo, ʼe kehekehe te fai ʼo te putu ʼi te ʼu agaʼi  fenua, koia ʼe nātou mulimuli ki te ʼu tui faka lotu ʼaē ʼe maʼu ʼi te koga meʼa ʼaia. *

Koteā koa te meʼa ʼe koutou fai mokā ʼe koutou fia tagi? Ko te tagi ʼe ko he faʼahi ʼo te natula ʼo te tagata. Koutou toe manatuʼi foki te meʼa ʼaē neʼe hoko kia Sesu ʼi te mate ʼo Lasalo, “neʼe mamahi ʼi te laumālie pea . . . neʼe tagi loʼimata ia.” (Soane 11:33, 35) Neʼe ina fakahā ai ko te tagi ʼe ko he meʼa māhani ʼaia ʼe hoko mokā mate he tahi ʼe tou ʼofa mamahi ai.

Ko te meʼa ʼaenī neʼe hoko ki he faʼe ko Ana, neʼe mate tana kiʼi tamasiʼi ko Lasele ʼi te taʼi mate fakapuna’maʼuli ʼaē ʼe hoko ki te kihiʼi tamaliki. Neʼe fakamatala e tona ʼohoana: “Ko te meʼa ʼaē neʼe fakapuna’maʼuli neʼe mole tagi ia Ana ʼo feiā aipe la mo ʼau ʼi tona ʼavaifo. Neʼe fetāgihi fuli te hahaʼi ʼaē neʼe ʼi ai.” Ka koʼeni, te tali ʼa Ana: “ ʼE moʼoni, ka neʼe lahi taku tagi maʼa tāua. ʼI taku manatu neʼe hoki ʼau logoʼi te tuʼutāmaki ʼaia ʼi he ʼu vāhaʼa ki muli age, ʼi he ʼaho neʼe ʼau nofo tokotahi ai ʼi toku ʼapi. Neʼe ʼau tagi ʼi te ʼaho katoa. Kae ʼi taku manatu ko te meʼa ʼaia neʼe tokoni kia ʼau. ʼE ʼau logo ifo kua feala taku kātakiʼi te tuʼutāmaki ʼaia. Neʼe ʼaoga ke ʼau tagiʼi te mate ʼo taku kiʼi tamasiʼi. ʼE mahino papau kia ʼau ʼe tonu ke koutou tuku te hahaʼi ʼaē ʼe mamahi ke nātou fetāgihi. Logope la ʼe ko he agamāhani ki niʼihi tanatou ʼui ʼaē, ke ‘Tuku tau tagi,’ ko te tonu ʼaia ʼe mole ko he tokoni moʼoni ki ʼaē ʼe mamahi.”

Neʼe feafeaʼi te aga ʼa ʼihi ʼi te temi neʼe nātou tau ai mo te mamahi ʼi te mate ʼo he tahi neʼe nātou ʼofa mamahi ai? Ohage la, ke koutou fakatokagaʼi te meʼa neʼe hoko kia Suanita. ʼE ʼiloʼi e Suanita te meʼa ʼe hoko mokā mate he kiʼi tamasiʼi. Neʼe kua tuʼa nima te tō ʼo tona ʼu fatu. Pea koʼeni ia kua toe faitama. ʼI te temi ʼaē neʼe ʼave ai ia ki te lopitali ʼuhi he neʼe fakaʼī ʼi te ala, ʼe mahino ia neʼe hake ia ia te tuʼania. Hili kiai te ʼu vāhaʼa e lua pea kamata ai tona mamahi—ka mole heʼeki hoko tona temi fānau. ʼI he kiʼi moʼi temi nounou pe pea tupu ia Vanesa—ko tona mamafa ʼe fakalaka pe ʼi te ʼu kalama e hivageau. “Neʼe ʼau fiafia ʼaupito,” ko te ʼui ʼaia ʼa Suanita. “ ʼI te temi leva ʼaenī kua ʼau liliu ai leva ko he faʼe!”

Ka neʼe mole fualoa tana fiafia. Hili kiai ʼaho e fā pea mate ia Vanesa. ʼE fakahā mai e Suanita te ʼu meʼa neʼe ʼi tona loto: “Neʼe mata faikehe ʼosi kia ʼau. Neʼe toʼo ia te ʼau toku ʼuhigaʼi faʼe. Neʼe mole ʼau katoa. ʼI  taku kaku ki toku ʼapi neʼe ko he meʼa fakamamahi taku toe hū ki te koga fale ʼaē neʼe mātou teuteuʼi maʼa Vanesa pea mo taku toe sio ki tona ʼu mutuʼi meʼa ʼaē neʼe ʼau totogi. ʼI te lolotoga ʼo te ʼu māhina e lua ʼaē neʼe hoa mai kiai, neʼe ʼau manatuʼi tona ʼaho tupu. Neʼe mole kei ʼau fia sio ki he tahi.”

Ko te aga ʼaia ʼe fakavalevale koa? E lagi ʼe mata faigataʼa ki niʼihi tanatou mahino ki te faʼahi ʼaia, kae ko nātou ʼaē, e hage ko Suanita, ʼe nātou ʼiloʼi neʼe lahi age tonatou mamahi ʼi te puli ʼo tanatou tamasiʼi, ʼi he mate ʼo he tahi neʼe maʼuli ʼi he temi loaloaga. ʼI muʼa ʼo te tupu ʼo he tamasiʼi, ko tanatou ʼui ʼaia, neʼe kua ʼofa te ʼu mātuʼa ki ai. ʼE makehe tana felogoi lelei ʼaē mo tana faʼe. Koia ka mate he tamasiʼi, ʼe logoʼi e te faʼe ia te faʼahi ʼaia ohage ko he tahi moʼoni ia ʼaē kua puli. Pea ko te faʼahi ʼaia ʼe tonu ke mahino kiai niʼihi.

Neʼe fakamatala e te tahi faʼe te ʼu meʼa neʼe ʼi tona loto ʼi te fakahā age ʼaē kua mate tana tama ʼaē e taʼu ono ʼuhi he neʼe tupu māʼimoa. “Neʼe lahi ʼaupito te ʼu faʼahiga meʼa neʼe ʼau logoʼi—ko te mole gaūgaūe, te tuigataʼa, te tukugakoviʼi ʼo kita, pea mo te ʼita ki toku ʼohoana pea mo te tōketā ʼuhi ko tana mole tokagaʼi ia te kovi ʼaē ʼo tona mahaki.”

Ko te ʼita ʼe ko he tahi ʼaia tupuʼaga ʼo te mamahi. E lagi ʼe feala ke koutou ʼiʼita ki te ʼu tōketā pea mo te ʼu hahaʼi tauhi mahaki, heʼe ʼi takotou manatu neʼe feala pe ke nātou fai he meʼa ʼo lahi ake moʼo hāofaki ʼo ia ʼaē kua mate. Peʼe lagi ʼe koutou ʼiʼita ki ʼokotou ʼu kaumeʼa pea mo ʼakotou ʼu mātuʼa ʼaē, ʼe hage kia koutou, neʼe nātou palalau, pe neʼe nātou fai he meʼa ʼe kovi. Ko ʼihi ʼe nātou ʼiʼita kia ia ʼaē kua mate ʼo ʼui maʼa nātou neʼe mole tokaga ia ʼo fai hona faitoʼo. Neʼe tala e Stella: “ ʼE ʼau manatuʼi toku ʼita ʼaē ki toku ʼohoana koteʼuhi neʼe ʼau ʼiloʼi papau ko tona mate neʼe mole ko he finegalo. Neʼe kovi ʼaupito tona mahaki, kae neʼe mole ina muliʼi te ʼu fakatotonu ʼa te tōketā.” Pea ko ʼaē ʼe maʼuli ʼe ina tautau tuku te hala kia ia ʼaē kua mate ʼo ʼuhiga mo te ʼu kavega ʼaē ʼe tau mo ia.

Ko ʼihi ʼe nātou tukugakoviʼi pe ia nātou totonu ʼuhi ko tonatou ʼita—ʼi te faʼahi ʼaia, ʼe nātou tauteaʼi pe ia nātou totonu. Ko ʼihi ʼe nātou tukugakoviʼi ia nātou ʼuhi ko te mate ʼo te hahaʼi ʼaē ʼe nātou ʼofa mamahi ai. “Neʼe mole feala ia ke mate,” ko tanatou ʼui ʼaia, “mo ka na pau la neʼe ʼau tokaga fakavilivili ʼo faigaʼi ia ia ke ʼalu ki te tōketā” pe “neʼe ʼau ʼave ia ia ki he tahi tōketā” pe “neʼe ʼau fakaloto mālohiʼi ia ia ke tokaga fakalelei kia ia.”

Ki ʼihi, ko te tukugakoviʼi ʼaē ʼo kita ʼe fakatupu ai niʼihi ʼu manatu, tāfito la mokā mate fakapuna’maʼuli he tahi ʼe nātou ʼofa mamahi ai, ka neʼe mole nātou  ʼamanaki kiai. ʼE kamata tanatou manatuʼi te temi ʼaē neʼe nātou ʼiʼita ai kia ia ʼaē kua mate peʼe ko tanatou kē ʼaē mo ia. Peʼe ʼui maʼa nātou neʼe mole lelei tanatou aga kia ia ʼaē kua mate.

Ko te loaloaga ʼo te mamahi ʼaē ʼe tau mo te ʼu faʼe e tokolahi, ʼe lagolago ki te ʼui ʼa te tokolahi ʼo te kau popoto lalahi, ko te mate ʼo he tamasiʼi, ʼe ko he puli loaloaga ia ki te maʼuli ʼo te ʼu mātuʼa, kae tāfito ia te faʼe.

Ko te mate ʼo he tahi ʼi te taumatuʼa ʼe ko he tahi ia ʼaia tuʼutāmaki, tāfito la mo kapau neʼe lahi ʼaupito tana gāue ʼi te temi neʼe nā maʼuli fakatahi ai. Ko tona faka ʼuhiga ko te fakaʼosi ʼo te maʼuli katoa ʼaē neʼe nā maʼuliʼi fakatahi, ohage ko he folau, ko he gāue, ko he fakafiafia, pea mo he fefakalogoʼaki.

Neʼe fakamatala e Enise te meʼa neʼe hoko ʼi te mate fakafokifā ʼo tona ʼohoana ʼuhi he neʼe mahaki mafu. “ ʼI te ʼuluaki vāhaʼa, neʼe mole kei ʼau gaūgaūe, ohage kua gata te haʼele ʼo te ʼu faʼahi fuli ʼo toku sino. Neʼe mole kei malave ia kia ʼau, peʼe ko te meʼa kai peʼe ko he leleiʼia ʼo he faʼahiga meʼa pe. Kae, ko taku fakakaukau neʼe hoholo atu pe tona haʼele lelei. Koteʼuhi neʼe ʼau nofo mo toku ʼohoana ʼi tanatou faiga ʼaē ke nātou fakamaʼuli ia ia ʼo nātou fakaʼaogaʼi te masini moʼo toe fakamaʼuli ʼo te mafu pea mo te ʼu faitoʼo, neʼe mole hoko kia ʼau te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ʼe hoko māhani  ki te hahaʼi ʼaē ko te tuigataʼa. Kae, neʼe lahi ʼaupito toku lotomamahi, ohage pe ko haku sio ki he motokā ʼe tō ʼi he mata mato ka mole feala ke ʼau fai he meʼa mo ʼona tāʼofi.”

Neʼe tagi koa ia ia? “Ei neʼe ʼau tagi, tāfito la ʼi taku lau te ʼu kate ʼe lauʼi teau neʼe fakamomoli mai. Neʼe ʼau tagi ʼi taku lau te ʼu tohi takitahi. Ko te ʼu tohi neʼe tokoni kia ʼau ke ʼau tauʼi fakalelei te mamahi ʼaia ʼi toku maʼuli. Kae ʼe mole he meʼa ʼe feala ke tokoni kia ʼau mokā ʼe fehuʼi tuʼumaʼu mai kia ʼau peʼe ʼau feafeaʼi. Heʼe ʼiloʼi lelei pe la, ʼe ʼau lotomamahi.”

Koteā koa te meʼa neʼe tokoni kia Enise ke ina tauʼi ai tona mamahi? ʼE ina ʼui fēnei: “Ko te meʼa ʼaē neʼe mole ʼau fakatokagaʼi, neʼe ko te hoko atu pe ʼaē ʼo toku maʼuli. Kae, ko te meʼa ʼaē ʼe kei ʼau mamahi ai, ko taku manatu ki toku ʼohoana, he neʼe lahi foki tana manako ki te maʼuli, pea ʼe mole kei ʼi henī leva ke fakafiafia kiai.”

Ko te ʼu tagata faitohi ʼe nātou tuku mai te tokoni ʼaenī ʼi te tohi (Leavetaking—When and How to Say Goodbye): “Ke ʼaua naʼa koutou faka fealagia ki niʼihi ke nātou fakatotonuʼi atu te meʼa ʼaē ʼe tonu ke koutou fai peʼe ko ʼakotou manatu. Ko te mamahi ʼe kehekehe ia ʼi te hahaʼi fuli. Ko ʼihi ʼe feala pe ke nātou manatu—e lahi ʼaupito takotou mamahi peʼe mole feʼauga—pea ʼe nātou tala atu tanatou manatu. Ke koutou fakamolemole kia nātou pea ke koutou galoʼi. ʼAki takotou faigaʼi ʼaē ke koutou mulimuli ki te manatu ʼa ʼihi peʼe ko te sosiete katoa, ʼe koutou tāʼofi ai takotou faiga ʼaē ke koutou toe maʼu ia te tokalelei.”

ʼE mahino ia, ʼe tauʼi e te hahaʼi tonatou mamahi ʼi he ʼu ʼaluʼaga kehekehe. ʼE mole tou ʼui ʼi henī ʼe ʼi ai he faʼahiga tokoni ʼe lelei age ia ʼi he tahi tokoni ki te hahaʼi fuli. Kae, ʼe malaga te tuʼutāmaki kia ia ʼaē ʼe mole ina galoʼi te meʼa ʼaē neʼe hoko, mokā ʼe mole ina kātakiʼi te ʼaluʼaga moʼoni ʼo te mate ʼo ia ʼaē ʼe ʼofa mamahi ia ki ai. Pea ʼe feala pe ke foaki age e te ʼu kaumeʼa agaʼofa he tokoni ʼe ʼaoga ki ai. ʼE ʼui fēnei e te Tohi-Tapu: “Ko he kaumeʼa moʼoni ʼe ʼofa ia ʼi te temi fuli pe, pea ʼe ko he tēhina neʼe fānauʼi ki te temi ʼaē ʼe hoko ai te mamahi.” Koia ke ʼaua naʼa koutou matataku ʼi te kumi ʼo he tokoni, ʼo koutou palalau ki te faʼahi ʼaia, pea mo koutou fetāgihi.—Tāʼaga Lea 17:17.

Ko te mamahi ʼe ko he meʼa māhani ia ʼe hoko mokā mate he tahi, pea ʼe mole kovi takotou fakahā ʼo tokotou mamahi ki niʼihi. Kae ʼe ʼaoga ke maʼu he tali ki te ʼu fehuʼi ʼaenī: ‘E feafeaʼi koa taku maʼuli mo toku mamahi? Ko te tukugakoviʼi ʼo kita pea mo te ʼita ʼe ko he ʼu meʼa māhani koa ʼaia ʼe tonu ke hoko? ʼE tonu koa ke feafeaʼi taku tauʼi ʼo te ʼu faʼahiga meʼa ʼaia? Koteā koa te meʼa ʼe feala ke ina tokoniʼi ʼau ke ʼau kātakiʼi te puli ʼo ia ʼaē kua mate pea mo te mamahi?’ Ko te alatike ʼaē ka hoa mai ʼe tali anai ki te ʼu fehuʼi ʼaia pea mo ʼihi ʼatu.