IBhayibhile yaxela kwangaphambili ukuba “ngemihla yokugqibela,” kwakuya kubakho abantwana “abangathobeli bazali.”—2 Timoti 3:1, 2.

Umele uyazi into yokuba “abantwana bamele bayazi imithetho yabazali nezinto ezilindelekileyo kubo.” (The Single Parent Resource, by Brook Noel) Ingcali ngengqondo yabantwana nentsapho uBarry G. Ginsberg ithi: “Xa kubekwe imida ecacileyo, ulwalamano luba bhetele yaye akubikho xinezeleko.” Wongezelela athi: “Okukhona icaca le mida, yaye ichazwa kakuhle, kokukhona kusiba lula ukugcina intsapho yonwabile.” Unokumisela njani imida ecacileyo?

Qina, uze ubambelele kwilizwi lakho. (Mateyu 5:37) Olunye uhlolisiso lwaseOstreliya lubonisa ukuba abantwana badla ngokungabi nasimilo xa abazali bengakwazi kuthi hayi naxa beyekelela ebantwaneni. Kunjengokuba iBhayibhile isitsho: “Intonga nesohlwayo zinika ubulumko; kodwa inkwenkwe [okanye intombi] eyekelelwayo iya kumhlazisa unina.”—IMizekeliso 29:15.

Njengomzali ongenaqabane, ungavumeli ukuziva kwakho unetyala kukwenze ube ngumzali kavula-zibhuqe. UYasmin ekuthethwe ngayo ngaphambili uthi: “Maxa wambi ndandibasizela oonyana bam kuba bekhula bengenayise.” Kodwa njengokuba siza kubona kwisiqendu esilandelayo, nakuba kungekho nto iphosakeleyo ngokuziva njalo, akazange avumele oko kumenze angabi nangqiqo.

Musa ukutshintshatshintsha. IAmerican Journal of Orthopsychiatry ithi: “Xa abantwana befunda ukuba xa benze into ephosakeleyo baza kohlwaywa, oko kunokubanceda baziphathe kakuhle baze bazinze.” UYasmin uthi: “Sasihlala phantsi noonyana bam, size sixubushe ngengqeqesho. Xa bephuma endleleni, ndandizama ukubambelela kwingqeqesho. Kuyo yonke loo nto ndandiqala ndiphulaphule ndize ke ngokuzola ndichaze indlela esichatshazelwa ngayo yiloo nto bayenzileyo. Ndandisandula ke, ndibohlwaye ngaloo ndlela besithethe ngayo ngengqeqesho.”

Yiba nengqiqo, ungohlwayi unomsindo. Ngoxa umele uzimele izinto ezilungileyo, kufuneka ube bhetyebhetye xa kuyimfuneko. UYakobi 3:17 uthi: “Ubulumko obuvela phezulu”—obuvela kuThixo—‘bunengqiqo.’ Abantu abanengqiqo abadyuduzeli okanye babenomsindo. Abasuke bohlwaye nje qatha belandela umthetho othile. Kunoko, baqala bacinge, de bawuthandazele umbandela, kube kukhona benza okuthile ngendlela efanelekileyo sele bezolile.

Ukungatshintshatshintshi, ukuqina, nokuba nengqiqo—kuquka ukuba ngumzekelo omhle kwakho—kuya kukunceda umisele imida eya kwenza ikhaya lakho libe yindawo yokusabela yokwenene kule mihla inzima.