Umntwana wakho uthi ungqongqo gqitha. Kodwa wena ucinga ukuba ufuna ukumkhusela kwiingozi. Uzixelel’ ukuba, ‘ukuba ndiyayekelela, uza kungena engxakini!’

Unokukwazi ukummisela imithetho umntwana wakho ofikisayo. Noko ke, kufuneka uqale uqonde isizathu sokuba umntwana engayithandi imithetho yakho. *

Ubuxoki: Bonke abantwana abafikisayo abayithandi imithetho; loo nto yenzeka kubo bonke abantwana abafikisayo.

Inyaniso: Umntwana akanakufane avukele xa abazali bembekela imithetho engekho ngqongqo kangako yaye bemchazela isizathu sayo.

Nangona isenokuba zizinto ezininzi ezenza umntwana angaphulaphuli, abazali bamenza abe nenkani nangakumbi xa bengqongqo ngokugqithiseleyo okanye bemphatha ngathi ngumntwana naxa sele ekhulile. Makhe sithethe ngezi zinto zilandelayo:

• Ukuba ngqongqo ngokugqithiseleyo. Xa abazali besuka babeke imithetho baze bangafuni nokuba umntwana ababuze isizathu sayo, umntwana usenokuyibona ngathi iyambophelela kunokuba imkhusele. Ngenxa yoko, unokuthi xa engabonwa enze kanye ezi zinto bathi azilunganga abazali.

• Imithetho ombekela yona ayibufaneli ubudala bakhe. Xa umntwana esemncinci, ukuthi kuye, “Wena yenza nje le nto ndikuxelela yona,” kusenokwanela, kodwa ke bona abantwana abafikisayo bangoonokhontoni. Ngapha koko, kungekudala umntwana wakho ofikisayo uza kuhlala yedwa kuze kufuneke azenzele izigqibo ezibalulekileyo. Ngoko kubhetele afunde kwangoku esahlala nawe ukwenza izigqibo zobulumko.

Kodwa, kuthekani ukuba umntwana wakho uthetha kuthethwa?

Kuqala, yazi ukuba abantwana abafikisayo kufuneka bangavunyelwa baphile uvula zibhuqe yaye bayakuthanda ukunqandwa—nangona bengenakufane bayivume loo nto. Ngoko, misela imithetho uze uqiniseke ukuba umntwana wakho uyayiqonda. Incwadi ethi Letting Go With Love and Confidence ithi: “Ukuba abantwana bakho ubabekela imithetho ecacileyo yaye bayaqonda ukuba ubajongile, abanakufane baphume ecaleni.” Ngokwahlukileyo koko, abazali abavumela uvula zibhuqe benza abantwana babo bacinge ukuba ababakhathalelanga. Yaye oko kudla ngokwenza abantwana babe ziinjubaqa.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 29:15.

Unokubabekela njani imthetho, ngoxa ungabikho ngqongqo ngokugqithiseleyo? Mvumele umntwana wakho ofikisayo aveze izimvo zakhe ngemithetho yasekhaya. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umntwana ucela ukubuya emva kwexesha afanele ukuba sekhaya ngalo, mphulaphule njengoko ethetha. Umntwana owaziyo ukuba abazali bakhe bayaphulaphula xa ethetha udla ngokubahlonipha aze asithobele isigqibo sabo—enoba akavumelani naso.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Yakobi 1:19.

Noko ke, ngaphambi kokuba wenze isigqibo, khumbula oku: Njengokuba abantwana abafikisayo bethanda ukufuna inkululeko engakumbi kunaleyo ibafaneleyo, abazali bona badla ngokubanika inkululeko encinci gqitha kunaleyo ibafaneleyo. Ngoko cingisisa ngesicelo somntwana wakho. Ngaba umntwana wakho uye waziphatha ngendlela ebonisa ukuba unokuthenjwa? Ngaba azikho iimeko ezibonisa ukuba ufanele unyenyise iintambo? Zamkele izicelo zakhe xa kufanelekile.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Genesis 19:17-22.

Njengokuba ubonisa umntwana wakho ukuba uyayiqonda indlela avakalelwa ngayo, qiniseka ukuba naye uyaziqonda izinto ezikuxhalabisayo. Ngokwenza njalo, uya kuba ufundisa umntwana wakho ukuba angacingeli isiqu sakhe kuphela, kodwa acingele nabanye.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: 1 Korinte 10:24.

Okokugqibela, yenza isigqibo uze uchaze nesizathu sokuba ufikelele kuso. Enoba isigqibo senu siyakrakra kuye, usenokuvuya akuqonda ukuba unabazali abamphulaphulayo. Khumbula, ixesha lokufikisa komntwana lelokumqeqesha ukuze abe ngumntu omdala. Ukuba umbekela imithetho ecingisiswe kakuhle uze umchazele isizathu sayo, uya kumnceda akhule aze akwazi ukwenza izigqibo zobulumko naxa sele ekhulile.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 22:6.