Yenzeka njani into yokuba kudlule iiyure—de kube ziintsuku, bengathethisani abantu ababini abafunga ukuba baya kusoloko bethandana? Abanye bazithuthuzela ngelithi, ‘Kubhetele ngoku kuba asisalwi.’ Sekunjalo, ingxaki isekho ibe bobabini abonwabanga.

Ukubuyis’ isixhiba. Abanye abantu abatshatileyo abathethisani ngabom kuba beziphindezela. Ngokomzekelo, masithi umyeni uceba ukwenza into ethile ngempela veki, aze angayixeleli inkosikazi yakhe. Xa inkosikazi isiva ngale nto, iba nomsindo ize ithi umyeni wayo akayicingeli. Umyeni uphendula ngokuthi inochuku le nkosikazi. Inkosikazi iyagqwashula iphume ize emva koko iqumbe. Oku ikwenzayo kufana nokuthi, “Ndifun’ ukukuvisa le ntlungu undivise yona.”

Amaqhinga. Abanye baye baqumbe xa befuna kwenziwe into abayithandayo. Ngokomzekelo, masithi indoda nomfazi baceba ukuya ndaweni ithile, yaye umama wekhaya uzimisele ukumema nabazali bakhe. Umyeni akavumi. Uthi: “Utshate nam okanye nabazali bakho?” Emva koko uyaqumba kuba efuna umfazi wakhe enze le nto ayifunayo.

Kakade ke, kuhle ukuthula okomzuzwana xa ubona ngathi unyukelwa ngumsindo. Olu hlobo lokungathethisani lunokuba luncedo. IBhayibhile ithi, “kukho ixesha lokuthi cwaka.” (INtshumayeli 3:7) Ukungathethisani iba ngamaqha xa injongo ikukubuyis’ izitya ibe kufana nokugalela iparafini emlilweni nto leyo enokwenza indoda nomfazi wayo bangahloniphani. Ningakuthintela njani oku ukuze kungenzeki kuni?

Into yokuqala ekufuneka niyenze ukuze niyeke ukuqumbelana kukuqonda ukuba ukuqumba liqhinga nje elisebenza okwexeshana. Yinyaniso ukuba ukuqumba kunokukwenza uve kuthe ngco kuwe ngaphakathi kuze kunyanzele iqabane lakho ukuba ligob’ uphondo. Kodwa ngaba leyo yindlela ofuna ukumphatha ngayo umntu owafunga usithi uya kumthanda noba sekumnyam’ entla? Zikho iindlela ezibhetele zokucombulula ukungavisisani.

Zama ukuqonda oyena nobangela. IBhayibhile ithi, uthando “alucaphuki.” (1 Korinte 13:4, 5) Ngoko musa ukuphendula ngomsindo xa iqabane lakho lisithi, “Awumameli” okanye “Usoloko ufika emva kwexesha.” Kunoko, zama ukuqonda oyena nobangela. Ngokomzekelo, xa iqabane lakho lisithi, “Awumameli,” kusenokwenzeka ukuba eyona nto liyitshoyo kukuba, “Ndibona ngathi awuzamkeli ezam iimbono.”—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 14:29.

Mus’ ukuphakamisa ilizwi. Ingxabano idla ngokuqatsela njengoko iqhubeka. Ukanti unako ukuyiphelisa ingxabano. Njani? Incwadi ethi Fighting for Your Marriage ithi: “Ukuthetha ngokuzolileyo nokumamela kakuhle njengoko iqabane lakho lithetha kuyenye yeendlela zokucima umlilo obangelwa yingxabano. Amaxesha amaninzi, yiloo nto nje kuphela efunekayo.”—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 26:20.

Sukuzicingela wedwa, licingele neqabane lakho. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ngamnye makafune, kungekhona ingenelo yakhe, kodwa eyomnye umntu.” (1 Korinte 10:24) Ukuba iqabane lakho ulijonga njengomhlobo kunokuba ulijonge njengotshaba, ambalwa amathuba okuba ukhawuleze ucaphuke, uxabane nalo uze uliqumbele.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: INtshumayeli 7:9.

IBhayibhile iyakugweba ukungathethisani, xa isithi: “Ngamnye wenu makamthande umfazi wakhe njengoko ezithanda; ke yena umfazi, makabe nentlonelo enzulu ngendoda yakhe.” (Efese 5:33) Sicebisa ukuba uhlale phantsi neqabane lakho nize nenze isivumelwano sokuba soze ningathethisani.