Umntwana wakho akamfuni kwaphela uhayi. Qho usithi hayi uye aqhashambule. Akakuva tu xa umnqanda ibe ekugqibeleni uyamyeka. Uzibona sowusithi ewe kuba udikwe kukuthi hayi.

Unokukwazi kanti ukuma kuhayi wakho. Kodwa ke makhe siqale sithethe ngohayi.

Uhayi akayonkohlakalo. Abanye abazali basenokungavumelani noku, mhlawumbi besithi umele umcenge umntwana wakho, umcacisele uzame ukuba nivumelane. Mhlawumbi abathi hayi kuba besoyika ukuba abantwana baqumbe.

Kakade ke, ekuqaleni umntwana usenokudana xa kusithiwa kuye “hayi.” Sekunjalo, uhayi umfundisa imfihlelo yobomi yokuba apha emhlabeni zikho izinto ekuza kuthiwa hayi kuzo. Kodwa kwelinye icala xa mzali ungamsebenzisi uhayi, wenza umntwana wakho akudele, aqhayise ngokukhwina qho efuna into. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, ukumfekethisa kwakho umntwana kunokumenza akuqumbele. Ngapha koko, umntwana unokumhlonela njani umzali onguvuma-zonke?

Uhayi unokumnceda umntwana wakho xa ekhula. Umnceda akwazi ukuzibamba. Umntwana okwaziyo ukukwenza oko, akasoze afane akhukhuliseke xa abanye bemntyontyela ukuba asebenzise iziyobisi okanye abelane ngesondo ngaphambi komtshato.

Ukuthi hayi kwakho kuya kumnceda umntwana wakho xa sele ekhula. UGqr. David Walsh uthi: “Inyaniso kukuba thina [bantu badala] asisoloko sifumana oko sikufunayo. Ngoko asibancedi nganto abantwana bethu xa sibafekethisa ngokungathi yonke into abayifunayo baya kuyifumana.” *

Zimisele kwinto oyifunayo. Ufuna umntwana wakho abe ngumntu omdala ophumelelayo nozinzileyo ngokweemvakalelo. Kodwa ukuba umnika yonke into ayifunayo, awunakukwazi ukukuphumeza oko. IBhayibhile ithi, ukuba umntu ‘uyatefiswa kwasebutsheni, kamva ekuphileni kwakhe uya kuba ngongenambulelo.’ (IMizekeliso 29:21) Ngoko ke, uhayi yindlela entle yokuqeqesha. Uqeqesho olunjalo luya kumnceda umntwana wakho, soze lumbulale.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 19:18.

Qiniseka xa usithi hayi. Umntwana wakho akayontanga yakho. Ngoko akukho mfuneko yokuba nixoxe ngohayi ngokungathi uthandisa yena. Kakade ke, njengokuba abantwana bekhula kuza kufuneka ‘amandla abo okuqonda aqeqeshwe ukuze bakwazi ukwahlula okulungileyo nokubi.’ (Hebhere 5:14) Ngoko akuyonto ingalunganga ukuhlala phantsi nomntwana wakho nibekane ezingqondweni. Sekunjalo, lumkela ukuzibona sowuxoxisana nomntwana ngesizathu sokuba uthe hayi, kuba xa uxoxa naye, uya kuba ngathi awuqinisekanga ngaloo hayi wakho.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Efese 6:1.

Yima kuhayi wakho. Umntwana usenokuzama amaqhinga, alile okanye akucenge. Ukuba oko kwenzeka nisekhaya, unokwenzani? Incwadi ethi Loving Without Spoiling ithi, “Mshiye umntwana. Mxelele uthi, ‘Ungalila wonele, kodwa mna andifuni kuyiva loo nto. Hamba uye egumbini lakho. Ungalila kangangoko ufuna ude uyeke.’” Ekuqaleni kusenokuba nzima ukukwenza oko, nomntwana angakwamkeli lula. Kodwa inkani yakhe inokwehla xa ebona ukuba ubungadlali xa ubusithi hayi.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Yakobi 5:12.

Yiba nengqiqo. Sukuthi hayi nje kuba ungumzali. Kunoko, ukuba ‘nengqiqo kwakho makwazeke.’ (Filipi 4:5) Akho amaxesha apho unokuthi ewe emntwaneni xa le nto ayicelayo ivakala yaye nawe ungaqhathwa kukukhwina kwakhe. Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Kolose 3:21.