“Ndandixambulisana nodade wethu ndaza ndatyhala ucango lwaya kugqobhoza udonga. Loo mgqobho wawusoloko undikhumbuza ukuba ndiye ndaziphatha ubuntwana.”—UDiane. *

“Ndithethela phezulu ndathi, ‘Akakho utata onjengawe!’ ndaza ndambakraza ucango. Ngaphambi kokuba luvaleke, ndabona indlela utata awayekhathazeke ngayo, ndandifuna ukuwaginya kwangoko loo mazwi.”—ULauren.

Ngaba wakha wakwimeko efana nekaLauren noDiane? Ukuba kunjalo, eli nqaku linokukunceda.

Ukugqajukelwa ngumsindo kukwenzela igama elibi. UBriana, oneminyaka eyi-21 uthi, “Ndandikade ndicinga ukuba abantu bamele bayamkele into yokuba ndinomsindo. Kodwa ndaye ndaphawula ukuba abantu babangathi zizidenge xa bengakwazi ukulawula umsindo, ndatsho ndaqonda ukuba—nabanye abantu babona loo nto apha kum!”

IBhayibhile ithi: “Okhawuleza abe nomsindo uya kwenza ubudenge.”—IMizekeliso 14:17.

Ukuba nomsindo kunokwenza abantu bakuphephe. UDaniel, oneminyaka eyi-18 uthi, “Xa ugqajukelwa ngumsindo, uphelelwa sisidima ibe nabanye abantu bayayeka ukukuhlonela.” UElaine, oneminyaka eyi-18, uyavuma esithi, “umntu ogqajukelwa ngumsindo akathandeki. Abantu baye bamoyike.”

IBhayibhile ithi: “Musa ukuba liqabane lakhe nabani na onomsindo; yaye ungahlali nomntu obhabhama ngumsindo.”—IMizekeliso 22:24.

Unako ukutshintsha. USara, oneminyaka eyi-15 uthi, “usenokungakwazi ukulawula indlela imeko ethile ekwenza uvakalelwe ngayo, kodwa unako ukulawula indlela ozibonakalisa ngayo ezo mvakalelo. Akuyomfuneko ukuba ubhabhame ngumsindo.”

IBhayibhile ithi: “Ozeka kade umsindo ulunge ngakumbi kunendoda enamandla, yaye owulawulayo umoya wakhe ungaphezu kothimba isixeko.”—IMizekeliso 16:32.

Zibekele usukelo. Kunokuba uthi, “Ndinje, andikwazi kuzinceda,” zibekele ixesha omele uphucule ngalo—mhlawumbi iinyanga ezintandathu. Ebudeni belo xesha, bhala phantsi ukuba uqhuba njani. Sihlandlo ngasinye ugqajukelwa ngumsindo, bhala phantsi ukuba (1) kwenzeke ntoni, (2) uye wathini nokuba (3) yintoni obumele uyenze ibe ngoba. Zibekele usukelo lokwenza oko xa kuphinda kuvela into ekucaphukisayo. Icebiso: Zibhale nezinto ozenze kakuhle! Bhala ngendlela oye wonwaba ngayo emva kokuba ukwazile ukulawula umsindo.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Kolose 3:8.

Sukukhawuleza ukuphendula. Xa kukho umntu okanye into ekucaphukisayo, sukuthetha into efike kuqala engqondweni. Kunoko, linda kancinci uze uphefumle ukuba kuyimfuneko. UErik, oneminyaka eyi-15 uthi, “xa ndiphefumla, ndiba nexesha lokucinga ngaphambi kokuba ndenze okanye ndithethe into endiza kuzisola ngayo kamva.”—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 21:23.

Yiba nengqondo ephangaleleyo. Maxa wambi usenokuba nomsindo kuba ubona icala elinye lengxaki—eli lichaphazela wena. Zama ukucinga nangelinye icala. UJessica uthi, “nokuba umntu sele ekrwada kangakanani, kusoloko kukho isizathu esinokukunceda umvele naye.”—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 19:11.

Ukuba kuyimfuneko, hamba. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ngaphambi kokuba kuvele ingxabano, rhoxa.” (IMizekeliso 17:14) Njengokuba esi sibhalo sibonisa, maxa wambi kuhle ukuhamba xa kukho into ekucaphukisayo. Emva koko, kunokuba uqhubeke ucinga ngaloo nto uze ucaphuke ngakumbi, yenza enye into. Intombazana enguDanielle ithi, “ndikufumanise kuluncedo ukwenza umthambo ukuze ndingagqajukelwa ngumsindo.”

Yiyeke idlule. IBhayibhile ithi: “Phazamisekani, kodwa ningoni. Thethani entliziyweni yenu, . . . nize nithi cwaka.” (INdumiso 4:4) Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokuziva uphazamisekile. Umbuzo ngulo, Uza kwenza ntoni? Umfana onguRichard uthi, “ukuba uvumela abantu bakucaphukise, baya kulawula. Usenokwenza njengomntu okhulileyo, uyiyeke idlule.” Ukuba wenjenjalo, uya kube uyawulawula umsindo wakho, kunokuba umsindo ulawule wena.