“Ndandicing’ ukuba ndifumene oyena mntu undifaneleyo. Ndandisithi ‘Lo ngundofa naye.’ Kodwa emva kweenyanga nje ezimbini sohlukana. Ndandingakholelwa ukuba into eqale kakuhle kangaka ingaphela ngokukhawuleza ngolo hlobo!”—UAnna. *

“Sasifana ngento yonke. Ndandiqinisekile ukuba siza kutshata. Kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha ndaqalisa ukubona ukuba siyimpuma nentshona. Ndaqonda ukuba ndenze impazamo enkulu, ndaza ndohlukana naye.”—UElaine.

Ngaba wakha wehlelwa yinto efanayo? Ukuba kunjalo, eli nqaku liza kukunceda umelane naloo meko.

Ukwahlukana kunokuba buhlungu, kwanakulowo ukulahlileyo. “Intliziyo yam yaba lihlwili!” utsho uSarah, owalahla isithandwa sakhe emva kweenyanga ezintandathu. Uyabalisa: “Ndagqibela sithandana ibe ndizimisele ukuchitha ubomi bam naye; kodwa yonke loo nto yathi shwaka. Ndandisithi xa ndisiva iingoma ebesizithanda sobabini, ndikhumbule amaxesha amnandi esasiwachitha kunye. Naxa ndikwiindawo esasiqhele ukuya kuzo, ndandimkhumbula. Ndaba buhlungu nangona indim omlahlileyo!”

Kuhle ukwahlukana ngamany’ amaxesha, nangona kubuhlungu. UElaine uthi: “Akufuni kumenza buhlungu umntu wakho. Kodwa uyaqonda ukuba ekugqibeleni niza kuba buhlungu nobabini ukuba niqhubeka nithandana nangona ningafanelani.” USarah uyavumelana noko, esithi: “Ndicing’ ukuba, ukuba akonwabanga ngoxa nisathandana, kobekisela phi ke xa nitshatile! Kuhle ke ukwahlukana xa kunjalo.”

Ukwahlukana akukwenzi ube ngumntu ombi. Kaloku, umntu othandanayo umele enze isigqibo, ibe ayisoloko isesokutshata. Ukuba wena okanye iqabane lakho linamathandabuzo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba esona sigqibo sifanelekileyo kukwahlukana. Ukuba ufikelela kweso sigqibo, oko akuthethi kuthi ungumntu ombi. Unako ukuqhubeka nobomi! Njani?

Yamkele intlungu yakho. UElaine ocatshulwe ekuqaleni uphalaz’ imbilini yakhe esithi: “Andilahlekelwanga nje ngumhlobo kuphela; ndilahlekelwe ngumhlobo osenyongweni.” Kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba buhlungu xa wahlukene nomntu obumthanda ngolo hlobo. Ityendyana lomfana onguAdam lithi: “Nahlukene! Ngoko ke ilindelekile into yokuba kube buhlungu, nakuba usazi ukuba ibisisigqibo esifanelekileyo eso.” Usenokuvakalelwa ngendlela efanayo naleyo wavakalelwa ngayo uKumkani uDavide ekuthethwe ngaye eBhayibhileni. Wabhala wathi xa wayesentlungwini: “Ubusuku bonke . . . umandlalo wam ndiwenza uphuphume iinyembezi zam.” (INdumiso 6:6) Maxa wambi kokona kungcono ukumelana nentlungu kunokuyiphepha. Ukwamkela ukuba usentlungwini kungakunceda uchache kuhle.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: INdumiso 4:4.

Yiba phakathi kwabantu abakukhathaleleyo. Siyaqonda ukuba kusenokungabi lula oko. UAnna ebekukhe kwathethwa ngaye uthi: “Ekuqaleni ndandingafuni nokubabona abantu. Ndandifuna ixesha lokuthomalalis’ intlungu, ndiyijikajike engqondweni yam yonke le nto yenzekileyo.” Kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha, uAnna waqonda ukuba kububulumko ukuhlala kunye nabahlobo abasenyongweni ababenokumkhuthaza. Uthi: “Nditsho ndaphola engqondweni, ibe ukwahlukana kwethu akusandikhathazi njengakuqala.”—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 17:17.

Funda koko kwenzekileyo. Zibuze: ‘Ngaba oku kuveze ubuthathaka endimele ndisebenzele kubo? Ngaba ikho into endimele ndiyenze ngokwahlukileyo xa ndithandana kwakhona?’ Intwazana enguMarcia ithi: “Zabuya iingqondo ekuhambeni kwexesha, ndaza ndakuqonda oko kwenzekileyo. Kodwa kwandithath’ ixesha ukumis’ ingqondo, ndingaqhutywa ziimvakalelo.” UAdam ekuthethwe ngaye ngaphambili, naye uvakalelwa ngendlel’ efanayo. Uthi: “Ndaba buhlungu unyaka wonke, emva kokwahlukana kwethu. Kwandithatha ithuba elide nangakumbi ukubona ukuba yintoni endinokuyifunda koko kwenzekileyo. Kundifundise lukhulu ngesiqu sam, ngamabhinqa nangokuthandana. Ngoku andisekho buhlungu kangako ngokwahlukana kwethu.”

Yithandazele intlungu yakho. IBhayibhile ithi uThixo “uyabaphilisa abo baphuke intliziyo, uyazibopha iindawo zabo ezibuhlungu.” (INdumiso 147:3) Nangona uThixo engafuneli bantu amaqabane, ibe engenanto yakwenza nokwahlukana kwenu, unomdla kuwe. Phalaza imbilini yakho kuye ngomthandazo.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: 1 Petros 5:7.