1. IBhayibhile iluchaza njani uthando lokwenene?

 “AMADANGATYE [othando] ngamadangatye omlilo, idangatye likaYa. Imisinga yamanzi ayinakulucima uthando, nemilambo ayinakulukhukulisa.” b (INgoma 8:6, 7) Uyayiva indlela oluchazwa kamnandi ngayo uthando lokwenene? Ezi vesi zinokunenza niqiniseke ngale nto nina batshatileyo: Ninokuhlala nithandana, ningaze niyeke.

2. Yintoni abamele bayenze abantu abatshatileyo ukuze baqiniseke ukuba uthando lwabo luhlala luvutha?

² Abantu abatshatileyo bangakwazi ukuhlala bethandana de bahlulwe kukufa, kodwa loo nto ixhomekeke kubo. Ngokomzekelo, umlilo unokuhlala uvutha xa uman’ ukhwezelwa. Ukuba awukhwezelwa uza kude ucime. Lunjalo ke nothando lwendoda nomfazi wayo. Lunokuhlala luvutha ukuba bayawuqinisa umtshato wabo. Ngamanye amaxesha basenokubona ngathi luyaphola, ngokukodwa xa benengxaki yemali, begula okanye bekhulisa abantwana. Ukuba nitshatile, yintoni eninokuyenza ukuze lihlale livutha “idangatye likaYa” emtshatweni wenu? Kweli nqaku siza kuthetha ngezinto ezintathu eninokuzenza ukuze umtshato wenu uhlale uqinile nize nonwabe. c

3. Ukumthanda kakhulu uYehova kubanceda njani abantu abatshatileyo bahlale bethandana? (INtshumayeli 4:12) (Jonga nomfanekiso.)

³ Ukuze lingacimi “idangatye likaYa,” umyeni nomfazi wakhe bamele basebenzele ukumthanda kakhulu uYehova. Iza kuwunceda njani loo nto umtshato wabo? Ukuba kubalulekile kubo ukuba ngabahlobo bakaYehova, baza kuba nomdla wokuzenza izinto abacebisa ukuba bazenze, ize loo nto ibancede baphephe iingxaki ezinokulwenza luphole uthando lwabo, bakwazi ukulungisa nezo sele zikhona. (Funda iNtshumayeli 4:12.) Abantu abamthanda kakhulu uYehova baye bazame ukumlinganisa ngokusebenzela ukuba neempawu anazo, ezifana nobubele, umonde nokuxolela. (Efe. 4:32–5:1) Xa abantu abatshatileyo benezi mpawu, uthando lwabo luyakhula. ULena, udade oneminyaka engaphezu kweyi-25 etshatile uthi, “Kuba lula ukumthanda nokumhlonipha umntu oneempawu ezifana nezikaYehova.”

4. Kwakutheni ukuze uYehova akhethe uYosefu noMariya ukuba babe ngabazali bakaMesiya?

⁴ Cinga ngabantu ekuthethwa ngabo eBhayibhileni. Xa kwakufuneka uYehova akhethe abantu ababeza kuba ngabazali bakaMesiya, wakhetha uYosefu noMariya phakathi kwabantu abaninzi ababeyinzala kaDavide. Kwakutheni? Bobabini babemthanda uYehova, esazi nokuba baza kumenza abe ngoyena ubalulekileyo emtshatweni wabo. Nina bantu batshatileyo, yintoni eninokuyifunda kuYosefu noMariya?

5. Abayeni banokufunda ntoni kuYosefu?

⁵ UYosefu wayengalibazisi ukuzenza izinto awayezixelelwa nguYehova. Loo nto yamenza wangumyeni othandekayo. Kathathu, uThixo wamnika imiyalelo eyayinento yokwenza nosapho lwakhe. Yonke loo miyalelo wayekhawuleza ayithobele, naxa kwakunzima. (Mat. 1:20, 24; 2:13-15, 19-21) Ngenxa yaloo nto, wakwazi ukumkhusela nokumkhathalela uMariya. Inoba loo nto yenza umfazi wakhe wamthanda futhi wamhlonipha kakhulu! Bayeni, ninokumlinganisa uYosefu ngokuwakhangela eBhayibhileni amacebiso okukhathalela iintsapho zenu. d Xa nilisebenzisa eli cebiso, nokuba kunokufuneka kubekho izinto enizitshintshayo, nibonisa ukuba niyabathanda abafazi benu futhi niqinisa umtshato. Omnye udade waseVanuatu, osele eneminyaka engaphezu kweyi-20 etshatile, uthi: “Xa umyeni wam efuna amacebiso kuYehova aze awasebenzise, ndimhlonipha kakhulu. Ndiyamthemba futhi ndiyaqiniseka nangezigqibo azenzayo.”

6. Yintoni abanokuyifunda abafazi kuMariya?

⁶ NoMariya wayemthanda uYehova, ukholo lwakhe lwalungaxhomekekanga kuYosefu.  Wayezazi kakuhle iZibhalo, eqiniseka ukuba unalo nexesha lokucingisisa ngezinto awayezifunda. (Luka 2:19, 51) Sinokuqiniseka ukuba indlela awayemthanda ngayo uYehova yamenza wathandwa kakhulu ngumyeni wakhe. Abafazi abaninzi namhlanje bazama ukulinganisa uMariya. Ngokomzekelo, omnye udade onguEmiko uthi: “Ngokuya ndandingekatshati, ndandizenza ngokwam izinto eziqinisa ukholo. Kodwa emva kokuba nditshatile yayingumyeni wam owayethandaza, esenza nonqulo lwentsapho. Ndabona ukuba ingathi ukuqinisa ukholo lwam kuxhomekeke kuye. Ngoko ndaqonda ukuba nam kufuneka ndisebenzile ukuze ukholo lwam luqine. Ngoku ndizibekela ixesha lokuba kunye noThixo wam—ndithandaze, ndifunde iZibhalo ndize ndicingisise ngezinto endizifundayo.” (Gal. 6:5) Bafazi, ukuba aniyeki ukuqinisa ukholo lwenu kuYehova, abayeni benu baza kunidumisa baze banithande kakhulu.—IMize. 31:30.

7. Yintoni enokufundwa yindoda nomfazi wayo kuYosefu noMariya ngokumkhonza kunye uYehova?

⁷ UYosefu noMariya babengayekanga nokuncedisana ekulwenzeni luqine ukholo lwabo. Babeyiqonda indlela ekwakubaluleke ngayo ukuba usapho lwabo lumkhonze kunye uYehova. (Luka 2:22-24, 41; 4:16) Inoba kwakunzima ukuyenza loo nto, ngokukodwa xa usapho lwalusiya lusanda. Kodwa bakwazi. Abantu abatshatileyo banokufunda into eninzi kule nto yayisenziwa nguYosefu noMariya! Ukuba ninabantwana njengabo, kusenokuba nzima ukuya kwiintlanganiso okanye ukuba nexesha lokwenza unqulo lwentsapho. Kanti kusenokuba nzima nakakhulu ukufumana ixesha lokufunda nokuthandaza ninobabini. Nantsi into emaningayilibali: Xa nikhonza uYehova kunye, niya nimthanda kakhulu. Nani niya nithandana. Ngoko ukumkhonza makube yeyona nto ibalulekileyo kuni.

8. Yintoni abanokuyenza abantu abaneengxaki zomtshato ukuze lubancede unqulo lwentsapho?

⁸ Yintoni eninokuyenza ukuba nineengxaki kumtshato wenu? Kusenokunikruqula ukucinga ukuba kufuneka nenze unqulo lwentsapho kunye. Ukuba kunjalo, nisenokuqala ngokulwenza lungathathi ixesha elide, nincokole ngento enivumelene ngayo neniza kuyithanda nobabini. Loo nto inokuninceda niye nithandana nize nifune ukumkhonza kunye uYehova.

9. Kutheni indoda nomfazi wayo bemele babe nexesha lokuba kunye?

⁹ Enye into enokuninceda nina batshatileyo ukuze nihlale nithandana, kukuba nexesha lokuba kunye. Xa nisenza loo nto, niza kuhlala niyiqonda indlela omnye acinga naziva ngayo. (Gen. 2:24) Khawuve into eyafunyaniswa nguLilia noRuslan emva kokuba betshatile, kwiminyaka engaphezu kweyi-15 eyadlulayo. ULilia uthi: “Saqonda ukuba lalingazukuba lininzi njengokuba sasicinga ixesha lokuba kunye. Sasixakeke yimisebenzi yempangelo neyasendlini, ekuhambeni kwexesha yangabantwana. Sabona ukuba xa singazibekeli ixesha lokuba kunye, luza kuya luphola uthando lwethu.”

10. Abantu abatshatileyo banokuwusebenzisa njani umgaqo okumaEfese 5:15, 16?

¹⁰ Yintoni enokwenziwa ngabantu abatshatileyo ukuze baqiniseke ukuba baba nalo ixesha lokuba kunye? Kusenokufuneka bazibekele elo xesha. (Funda amaEfese 5:15, 16.) U-Uzondu, ongumzalwana waseNigeria, uthi: “Xa ndilungiselela izinto endiza kuzenza, ndiyaqiniseka ukuba ndiba nalo nexesha  lokuba kunye nenkosikazi yam. Ukuba kunye nayo kuba yeyona nto ibalulekileyo.” (Fil. 1:10) Khawuve ukuba ulisebenzisa njani ixesha lakhe uAnastasia, oyinkosikazi yomveleli wesiphaluka eMoldova. Uthi: “Ndiye ndenze izinto endimele ndizenze xa umyeni wam exakeke zizinto zakhe. Loo nto isenza sikwazi ukuba nexesha lokuba kunye.” Kodwa niza kuthini ukuba izinto ekufuneka nizenze zenza kube nzima ukuba nifumane ixesha lokuba kunye?

11. Ziintoni ababezenza kunye uAkwila noPrisila?

¹¹ Abantu abatshatileyo banokufunda kuAkwila noPrisila, ababehlonitshwa ngamaKristu amaninzi ngexesha labapostile. (Roma 16:3, 4) IBhayibhile ayithethi kangako ngomtshato wabo, kodwa ibonisa ukuba babesiba kunye xa besebenza, beshumayela naxa benceda abantu. (IZe. 18:2, 3, 24-26) Phofu qho ithetha ngoAkwila, uba lapho noPrisila.

12. Yintoni enokwenziwa yindoda nomfazi wayo ukuze babe nexesha elininzi lokuba kunye? (Jonga nomfanekiso.)

¹² Abantu abatshatileyo banokumlinganisa njani uAkwila noPrisila? Khanicinge ngezinto enimele nizenze. Ngaba zikhona kwezo zinto eninokuzenza kunye? Ngokomzekelo, uAkwila noPrisila babeshumayela kunye. Ngaba nani nisoloko niyenza loo nto? UAkwila noPrisila babesebenza kunye. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba wena nomntu otshate naye aniphangeli kunye, kodwa ngaba ninokuyenza kunye imisebenzi yasekhaya? (INtshu. 4:9) Xa niyenza kunye imisebenzi, iba ngathi niliqela elinye, nitsho nikwazi nokuncokola. Sekuyiminyaka engaphezu kweyi-50 ngoku uRobert noLinda betshatile. URobert uthi: “Xa sithetha inyani, asinaxesha lininzi lokuzihlaziya sikunye. Kodwa xa ndivasa izitya, umfazi wam azosule; okanye xa ndisebenza egadini, aze kundincedisa, ndiye ndivuye kakhulu. Xa sisenza izinto kunye siyavana, nothando lwethu luhlale luvutha.”

13. Yintoni emele yenziwe yindoda nomfazi wayo ukuze bamanyane nyhani?

¹³ Nantsi into emaningayilibali: Ukuba kunye njee kusenokunganenzi nimanyane. Omnye umfazi waseBrazil uthi: “Kule mihla zininzi izinto eziphazamisayo, kangangokuba ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba sisenokuziqhatha sithi sinalo ixesha lokuba kunye, kuba nje sihlala endlini enye. Ndibonile ukuba kufuneka singabi kunye nje ngegama, kodwa kufuneka sihoyane.” Khawuve ukuba wenza ntoni uBruno nomfazi wakhe uTays, ukuze baqiniseke ukuba bayahoyana xa bekunye. UBruno uthi: “Xa sikunye, siye sibeke iifowuni phaa size sonwabe.”

14. Xa abantu abatshatileyo bengonwabi xa bekunye, yintoni abanokuyenza?

¹⁴ Kodwa niza kuthini ukuba anonwabi xa nikunye? Mhlawumbi izinto enizithandayo  azifani okanye niyadikana. Yintoni eninokuyenza? Cinga ngalaa mlilo besikhe sathetha ngawo. Awubi lidangatye nje zisuka. Ufuna kumane kufakwa iinkuni kancinci kancinci. Nani ke, ninokuqala ngokuba kunye ixeshana nje elincinci ngosuku, nenze into eniza kuyithanda nobabini nengazukunixabanisa. (Yak. 3:18) Xa niqala kancinci ngolo hlobo, luza kuya luvutha uthando lwenu.

15. Kutheni kubalulekile ukuba abantu abatshatileyo bahloniphane ukuze uthando lwabo luhlale luvutha?

¹⁵ Ukuhloniphana kubaluleke kakhulu emtshatweni. Kufana nomoya owenza umlilo ube lidangatye. Ngaphandle kwawo, loo mlilo unokucima. Ngokufanayo ke, xa abantu abatshatileyo bengahloniphani, uthando lwabo lunokukhawuleza luphole. Kanti xa bezama ngamandla ukuhloniphana, basebenzela ukuba uthando lwabo luhlale luvutha. Usenokucinga ukuba wena uyamhlonipha umntu otshate naye. Kodwa ngaba yena uziva ehlonitshwa? UPenny noAret sebeneminyaka engaphezu kweyi-25 betshatile. UPenny uthi: “Ikhaya lethu lifudumele ngenxa yokuba siyahloniphana. Akukho mntu woyikayo ukuchaza izinto azicingayo kuba ibalulekile kuthi indlela ngamnye wethu acinga ngayo.” Yintoni ke onokuyenza ukuze umntu otshate naye abone ukuba umhlonipha nyhani? Ikhona into onokuyifunda kuAbraham noSara.

16. Yintoni abanokuyifunda abayeni kuAbraham? (1 Petros 3:7) (Jonga nomfanekiso.)

¹⁶ UAbraham wayemhlonipha uSara. Wayemmamela, eyikhathalele nendlela aziva ngayo. USara wakhe wakhathazeka kakhulu waza waxelela uAbraham indlela aziva ngayo, esithi nguye omenze wakuloo ntlungu. Ngaba uAbraham waba nomsindo waza wamphendula kakubi? Hayi. Wayesazi ukuba uSara uyamthobela futhi uyazixhasa nezigqibo azenzayo. UAbraham wammamela waza wazama ukuyilungisa loo ngxaki. (Gen. 16:5, 6) Sifunda ntoni kweli bali? Bayeni, nilinikiwe igunya lokwenzela iintsapho zenu izigqibo. (1 Kor. 11:3) Kodwa ukuba uyamthanda umfazi wakho, uza kufuna ukuqala uqonde ukuba ucinga ntoni ngaphambi kokwenza isigqibo, ngokukodwa xa loo nto imfaka naye. (1 Kor. 13:4, 5) Ngamanye amaxesha, umfazi wakho usenokuba nestress futhi kusenokufuneka akuxelele indlela aziva ngayo. Ngaba uye ubonise ukuba uyikhathalele indlela aziva ngayo, ngokummamela kakuhle xa ekuxelela? (Funda u-1 Petros 3:7.) UAngela noDmitry sebeneminyaka ephantse ibe yi-30 betshatile. Xa ethetha ngendlela umyeni wakhe amenza azive ehlonipheke ngayo, uAngela uthi: “UDmitry usoloko endimamela xa kukho into endikhathazileyo okanye xa ndifuna nje ukuthetha. Uba nomonde naxa ndicaphuka.”

17. Abafazi banokufunda ntoni kuSara? (1 Petros 3:5, 6)

 ¹⁷ USara wabonisa indlela amhlonipha ngayo uAbraham ngokuxhasa izigqibo awayezenza. (Gen. 12:5) Ngenye imini, uAbraham waba nobubele kwiindwendwe ababengazilindelanga. Wacela uSara ukuba ayeke into awayeyenza, enze izonka ezininzi. (Gen. 18:6) Ngoko nangoko, uSara wayenza le nto kwakucelwa ukuba ayenze. Bafazi ninokulinganisa uSara ngokubaxhasa abayeni benu kwizigqibo abazenzayo. Xa nisenza loo nto uza kuqina umtshato wenu. (Funda u-1 Petros 3:5, 6.) UDmitry, ekukhe kwathethwa ngaye kwisiqendu esidlulileyo uthi xa echaza indlela umfazi wakhe aye amenze azive ehlonipheke ngayo: “Ndiyayithanda indlela uAngela aye azame ngayo ukuzixhasa izigqibo endizenzayo, nokuba izinto sizibona ngendlela engafaniyo. Ukuba izinto azenzekanga ngale ndlela bendiyicinga, akathi benditshilo.” Kuyazenzekela ukuthanda umntu okuhloniphayo!

18. Bancedakala njani abantu abatshatileyo xa bezimisela ukulugcina luvutha uthando lwabo?

¹⁸ Kule mihla, uSathana ufuna ukwenza amaKristu atshatileyo ayeke ukuthandana. Uyazi ukuba xa luphela uthando lwabantu abatshatileyo basenokuqalisa ukubhekela nakuYehova. Kodwa akakho umntu onokukwazi ukuluphelisa uthando lokwenene! Ngoko sinqwenela ukuba uthando lwenu lufane nolo luchazwe kwiNgoma yazo iiNgoma. Zimiseleni ukwenza uYehova abe ngoyena ubalulekileyo emtshatweni wenu, yibani nexesha lokuba kunye nize nihloniphane kuzo zonke izinto. Xa nisenza ezi zinto, umtshato wenu uza kumzukisa uYehova olusuka kuye uthando lokwenene, luze uthando lwenu luhlale luvutha njengomlilo oman’ ukhwezelwa.