XA unyana okanye intombi yakho yayisakhasa, ngaba wawuqiniseka ukuba ikhuselekile? Mhlawumbi wawuzegquma iintambo zombane, ufihla izinto ezibukhali uzivala izinyuko—yonke le nto wawuyenzela ukukhusela umntwana wakho.

Akwaba bekulula ngaloo ndlela ukukhusela umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo. Ngoku zininzi izinto ezikuxhalabisayo njengokuba: ‘Kazukuba lo mntwana akabukeli manyala na?’ ‘Ngaba intombi yam ayithumeli imifanekiso yayo ihamba ze ngeseli fowuni?’ Owona mbuzo woyikisayo ngulo: ‘ngaba umntwan’ am sele eqalile ukwabelana ngesondo?’

Abanye abazali bazama ukubabek’ esweni abantwana ngokugada yonke into abayenzayo. Kamva, abazali abaninzi baye bafumanisa ukuba ‘ukubagada ngaloo ndlela’ kubenza abantwana bazifihle ngakumbi izinto abazenzayo. Abantwana baba ziincutshe ekufihleni ukuziphatha kwabo abangakufuniyo abazali.

Kucacile ukuba, ukuzitsala kakhulu intambo akuncedi. UYehova uThixo akasebenzisi loo ndlela xa efuna ukuthotyelwa zizidalwa zakhe nawe njengomzali awufanele uyisebenzise. (Duteronomi 30:19) Ungabanceda njani abantwana bakho benze izigqibo zobulumko?—IMizekeliso 27:11.

Undoqo kukusoloko uthetha nabantwana bakho uqalise ngoxa beselula. * (IMizekeliso 22:6) Xa besexabisweni qhubeka uthetha nabo. Njengomzali, ufanele ube ngowona mthombo wenkcazelo ethembekileyo. UAlicia intwazana yaseBritani ithi: “Abantu abaninzi bacinga ukuba  sikhetha ukuthetha nabahlobo ngesondo, kunokuthetha nomzali kodwa asiyonyani leyo. Sifuna ukuxelelwa ngabazali bethu kuba siyabathemba.”

Njengokuba besiya bekhula abantwana bafuna ukwazi okungakumbi ngesondo. ‘Namandla abo okuqonda afanele aqeqeshelwe ukwahlula okulungileyo nokubi.’ (Hebhere 5:14) Ngamafutshane bafuna imilinganiselo yokuziphatha ekhatshwa kukuziphatha okuvisisana nayo. Ungayibethelela njani imilinganiselo efanelekileyo emntwaneni wakho?

Qala ngokuhlola imilinganiselo yakho kuqala. Ngokomzekelo, usenokukholelwa ukuba ukuhenyuza okukukwabelana ngesondo kwabantu abangatshatanga akufanelekanga. (1 Tesalonika 4:3) Abantwana bakho baya kusazi isimo sengqondo sakho ngalo mba, banokude bakwazi ukucaphula iivesi zeBhayibhile ezixhasa iinkolelo zakho. Xa bebuzwa banokuphendula bathi kuphosakele ukwabelana ngesondo ngaphambi komtshato.

Kodwa kufuneka okungakumbi. Incwadi ethi Sex Smart ibonisa ukuba abanye abantwana banokuvumelana neenkolelo zabazali babo ithi: “Abakwazi ukuba nezabo izimvo. Xa begaxeleka kwimeko ebebengayilindelanga abayazi indlela abafanele baziphathe ngayo.” Yiloo nto kanye le iyenza ibaluleke imilinganiselo yokuziphatha. Unokumnceda njani umntwana wakho ofikisayo?

Yenze icace imilinganiselo yakho.

Ngaba ukholelwa ukuba kumele kwabelwane emtshatweni kuphela ngesondo? Mcacisele rhoqo umntwana wakho. Ngokutsho kwencwadi ethi Beyond the Big Talk, uphando lubonisa ukuba “kumakhaya apho abazali bakwenza kwacaca ukuba abafuni abantwana babo babandakanyeke kwisondo, abo bantwana badla ngokukwazi ukuzibamba.”

Kakade ke, ekuqaleni kweli nqaku, bekuthiwe ukuyichaza imilinganiselo yakho akuthethi kuthi unyana okanye intombi yakho iza kuphila ngayo. Noko ke, imilinganiselo engqongqo iba sisiseko abanokwakhela phezu kwaso abantwana bakho. Uhlolisiso oluye lwenziwa lubonisa ukuba ekugqibeleni ulutsha oluninzi luyayamkela imilinganiselo yabazali babo nokuba ekuqaleni bekungenjalo.

Mfundise yonke into ngesondo.

Kubalulekile ukulumkisa. (1 Korinte 6:18; Yakobi 1:14, 15) Noko ke, iBhayibhile ithetha ngesondo njengesipho sikaThixo kungekhona umgibe kaSathana. (IMizekeliso 5:18, 19; INgoma yazo iiNgoma 1:2) Xa abantwana bakho ubaxelela ngengozi kuphela loo nto inokubenza babe nembono egqwethekileyo nengqubana nezibhalo ngalo mba. Elinye ibhinqa eliselula laseFransi uCorrina lithi: “Abazali bam babesoloko bethetha ngokuziphatha okubi kuphela xa bethetha ngesondo loo nto yandenza ndalijonga kakubi.”

Qiniseka ukuba abantwana bakho bazi yonke into ngesondo. Umama waseMexico ekuthiwa nguNadia uthi: “Bendisoloko ndizama ukubaxelela abantwana bam ukuba isondo yindalo kaYehova uThixo ayenzele ukuba abantu bazonwabise. Kodwa lifanele lenziwe emtshatweni kuphela. Linokusenza sonwabe okanye singonwabi kuxhomekeka ukuba silisebenzisa njani.”

 Mncede umntwana wakho abone imiphumo.

Ukuze umntwana akwazi ukwenza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo nakweyiphi na inkalo yobomi ufanele akwazi ukubona imiphumo yokhetho lwakhe. Musa ukucinga ukuba ukwazi okulungileyo nokubi kwanele. Ibhinqa laseOstreliya elingumKristu ekuthiwa nguEmma lithi: “Xa ndicinga ngeempazamo endazenzayo xa ndandiselula, ndingathi ukuyazi imilinganiselo kaThixo akuthethi ukuba uyavumelana nayo. Kubalulekile ukuba uyazi imiphumo yokuyithobela nokungayithobeli.”

IBhayibhile inokunceda kuba imiyalelo yayo emininzi ilandelwa ngamabinzana achaza imiphumo yokwenza ububi. Ngokomzekelo, iMizekeliso 5:8, 9 ibongoza amadodana ukuba angaziphathi kakubi “ukuze unganikeli ngesidima sakho kwabanye.” Njengokuba ezi vesi zibonisa, abo babandakanyeka kwisondo ngaphambi kokutshata balahlekelwa sisidima, ingqibelelo nokuzihlonela kwabo. Loo nto ibenza bangabangeli mdla. Ukucamngca ngeengozi zokwenyama nezokomoya zokungayinanzi imithetho kaThixo kunokwenza umntwana wakho azimisele ukuphila ngayo. *

UTakao waseJapan oneminyaka eli-18 ubudala uthi: “Ndiyazi ukuba ndimele ndenze okulungileyo, kodwa kukho lo mnqweno unamandla ufuna ukwenza izinto zenyama.” Ulutsha oluvakalelwa ngolo hlobo lunokuthuthuzelwa kukwazi ukuba alulodwanga. Kwanompostile uPawulos ongumKristu owomeleleyo, wavuma wathi: “Xa ndinqwenela ukwenza okulungileyo, kusuke kubekho okubi kum.”—Roma 7:21.

Kuhle ukuba ulutsha luqonde ukuba akusoloko kuphosakele ukuvakalelwa ngaloo ndlela. Loo nto inokubenza bacamngce ngohlobo lwabantu abafuna ukuba lulo. Inokubanceda baphendule lo mbuzo, ‘Ngaba ndifuna ukuzimisela ebomini ndize ndaziwe njengomntu oziphethe kakuhle nonengqibelelo, okanye ngaba ndifuna ukwaziwa njengoduma neengidi olawulwa ziinkanuko? Ukuba nemilinganiselo yokuziphatha kuya kumnceda umntwana wakho awuphendule ngobulumko lo mbuzo.