Isihlomelo

Imibuzo Ebuzwa Ngabazali

“Ndingenza njani ukuze umntwana wam ancokole nam?”

“Ngaba ndifanele ndimbekele ixesha lokufika ekhaya?”

“Ndinokuyinceda njani intombi yam ukuze itye ngendlela efanelekileyo?”

Le yeminye yemibuzo eli-17 ephendulwa kwesi Sihlomelo. Sinamacandelo amathandathu yaye sikwalathisa kwizahluko ezifanelekileyo ezikuMqulu 1 noMqulu 2 wencwadi ethi Imibuzo Yabantu Abaselula—Iimpendulo Eziluncedo.

Wufunde lo mbandela. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, wuxubushe neqabane lakho, wandule ke usebenzise la macebiso ukuze uncede abantwana bakho. Unokuzithemba iimpendulo oza kuzifumana apha. Zisekelwe kwiLizwi likaThixo iBhayibhile, kungekhona kubulumko babantu abangafezekanga.—2 Timoti 3:16, 17.

290  Ukunxibelelana

297  Imithetho

302  Inkululeko

307  Isini Nokuthandana

311  Iimvakelelo

315  Izinto Zokomoya

  UKUNXIBELELANA

Ngaba kukho into ephosakeleyo ngokuxambulisana neqabane lam okanye nabantwana bam?

Emtshatweni kusoloko kukho ukungavisisani. Kodwa indlela okusingatha ngayo ixhomekeke kuwe. Ulutsha lukhathazeka kakhulu ziingxabano zabazali. Lo ngumbandela ofanele ungawuthabathi lula, kuba nabantwana xa sele betshatile baya kwenza loo nto uyenzayo. Kutheni ungasebenzisi eli thuba njengendlela yokubafundisa ukucombulula iingxabano ngendlela efanelekileyo? Zama oku kulandelayo:

Phulaphula. IBhayibhile ithi ‘sikhawuleze ukuva, sicothe ukuthetha, sicothe ukuqumba.’ (Yakobi 1:19) Musa ukugalela ityuwa enxebeni ‘ngokubuyisela ububi ngobubi.’ (Roma 12:17) Naxa iqabane lakho libonakala lingafuni ukuphulaphula, wena phulaphula.

Musa ukulihlasela iqabane lakho kunoko chaza ingxaki. Uzolile, lichazele indlela ekuchaphazela ngayo indlela elizenza ngayo izinto. (“Ndiba buhlungu xa . . . ”). Musa ukulibek’ ityala okanye uligxeke. (“Akundikhathalelanga.” “Akundiphulaphuli.”)

Khawubethwe ngumoya. Maxa wambi kuba bhetele ukuba nikhe nithi xha ekuthetheni ngombandela ude uthomalale umsindo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ukuqala kosukuzwano kunjengovulela amanzi; ngoko ngaphambi kokuba kuvele ingxabano, rhoxa.”—IMizekeliso 17:14.

Cela uxolo kwiqabane lakho—yaye ukuba kufanelekile nakubantwana  bakho. UBrianne, oneminyaka eli-14 ubudala, uthi: “Ngamanye amaxesha xa begqiba ukuxambulisana, abazali bam beza kum nakumkhuluwa wam baze bacele uxolo ngenxa yokuba bayayazi indlela okusikhathaza ngayo oko.” Enye yezona zifundo unokuzifundisa abantwana bakho kukukwazi ukuthi ngokuthobeka, “Ndicela uxolo.”

Kodwa ke, kuthekani ukuba uxambulisana nabantwana bakho? Khawuzibuze enoba akufaki tyuwa enxebeni kusini na. Ngokomzekelo, khawujonge oko kwenzeka ekuqaleni kweSahluko 2 kwiphepha 15 salo mqulu. Ngaba uyazibona ezinye izinto ezenziwe ngunina kaRachel ezibangela ukuba baxabane? Unokukuphepha njani ukuxambulisana nomntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo? Zama oku kulandelayo:

● Kuphephe ukuthetha amazwi angqwabalala afana nathi, “Wasoloko . . . ” okanye athi “Soz’ ukhe. . . ” Amazwi anjalo enza umntu afune ukuzithethelela. Ngapha koko, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uyazibax’ izinto yaye umntwana wakho uyayazi loo nto. Umntwana wakho uyazi ukuba uthetha ngolo hlobo kuba unomsindo, kungekhona ngenxa yokuba engayenzanga into ebefanele ayenze.

● Endaweni yokuthetha rhabaxa uthi “wena,” zama ukuchaza indlela ekukhathaza ngayo into eyenziwe ngumntwana wakho. Ngokomzekelo unokuthi, “Xa . . , ndivakalelwa ngathi . . . ” Enoba uyayikholelwa okanye akuyikholelwa, indlela ovakalelwa ngayo ibalulekile kumntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo. Xa umchazela indlela ovakalelwa ngayo umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo, aba maninzi amathuba okuba asebenzisane nawe. a

● Noba kunzima kangakanani na, zibambe de uthothe umsindo. (IMizekeliso 29:22) Ukuba nixatyaniswa yimisetyenzana ebekufanele ukuba uyenzile, thetha naye. Bhala phantsi eyona nto ulindele ukuba ayenze yaye xa kuyimfuneko umele umchazele imiphumo yokungakwenzi oko kulindelekileyo kuye.  Luphulaphule ngomonde uluvo lomntwana wakho, enoba uvakalelwa kukuba kufuneka umlungise. Abantwana abaninzi basabela bhetele xa ubaphulaphula kunokuba kunjalo xa ubangxolisa.

● Phambi kokuba ukhawuleze uthi umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo ulawulwa ngumoya wemvukelo, yazi ukuba le nto uyibonayo ibangelwa kukuba ekhula. Umntwana usenokukuphikisa kuba nje efuna ukubonisa ukuba uyakhula. Kuphephe ukuxambulisana naye. Khumbula ukuba umntwana wakho uyafunda kwindlela owenza ngayo xa ucaphukile. Yiba nomonde, uzeke kade umsindo yaye ngaloo ndlela uya kuba ummisela umzekelo omhle umntwana wakho.—Galati 5:22, 23.

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 2, NOMQULU 2, ISAHLUKO 24

Ziintoni endandizenza ngaphambili abafanele bazazi abantwana bam?

Khawube nalo mfanekiso-ngqondweni: Usesidlweni neqabane lakho, intombi yakho kwakunye nabahlobo benu. Kuthi kuncokolwa, omnye kubahlobo benu athethe ngomntu othile owakha wathandana naye naza nahlukana ngaphambi kokuba udibane neqabane lakho. Ithi yakuva loo nto intombi yakho yothuke. Ithi: “Wawukhe wathandana nomnye umntu kanti?” Akuzange uyibalisele intombi yakho ngale nto. Ngoku ifuna ukwazi ngakumbi. Ubuza kuthini wena?

Kudla ngokuba kuhle ukuba uyiphendule imibuzo yomntwana wakho. Ngapha koko, nanini na ekubuza yaye ephulaphule iimpendulo zakho, incoko iyaqhubeka, nto leyo efunwa ngabazali abaninzi.

Ziintoni owazenzayo onokuzibalisela unyana okanye intombi yakho? Ngokuqhelekileyo ubuya kukhetha ukungambaliseli ngezinto ezibangel’ iintloni. Kwelinye icala xa kuyimfuneko, ukubalisela abantwana bakho ngezinto owatyhubela kuzo ebomini kunokubanceda. Kunokubanceda njani?

Nanku omnye umzekelo. Umpostile uPawulos wakha watyhila  oku ngaye: “Xa ndinqwenela ukwenza okulungileyo, kusuke kubekho okubi kum . . . Hayi usizana endilulo!” (Roma 7:21-24) UYehova uThixo uye waphefumlela ukuba abhalwe la mazwi aze agcinwe eBhayibhileni ukuze kuncedakale thina. Ibe sonke ngokwenene siyancedakala kuba ke akakho umntu ongayaziyo into athetha ngayo uPawulos.

Ngokufanayo, xa abantwana bakho besiva ngezinto ezintle owazenzayo kwakunye neempazamo zakho banokutsho bakwazi kakuhle. Kuyavunywa ukuba ukhule ngexesha elahlukileyo. Noko ke, nangona amaxesha etshintsha kodwa abantu nemigaqo eseZibhalweni ayitshintshi. (INdumiso 119:144) Ukubachazela ngeengxaki oye wajamelana nazo nendlela oye watyhubela ngayo kuzo kunokunceda abantwana bakho abakwishumi elivisayo bakwazi ukucombulula ezabo iingxaki. Umfana ogama linguCameron uthi: “Ukwazi ukuba abazali bakho babeneengxaki ezifana nezakho, kunokukunceda uqonde ukuba nabo bangabantu abaqhelekileyo.” Wongezelela athi: “Xa uphinde wanengxaki, uye uyicinge into yokuba nabazali bakho bakhe batyhubela kuyo.”

Kodwa phawula: Akuyomfuneko ukuba yonke into obabalisela yona isoloko iphela ngesiluleko. Eneneni unokuxhalatyiswa kukuba umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo uza kucinga ukuba izinto ombalisela zona naye ufanele azenze okanye azive ekhululekile ukuphinda iimpazamo owazenzayo. Kunokuba umxelele kuphela oko ufuna akufunde kwincoko yenu (mhlawumbi usithi: “Ngoko yiloo nto umele ungaze . . . ”), mchazele ngendlela wena ovakalelwa ngayo. (Uthi: “Ukuba ndandazile ngendandingayenzanga loo nto kuba . . . ”) Unyana okanye intombi yakho inokufunda lukhulu kwizinto ezakwehlelayo, ingaziva ngathi ishunyayeziwe.—Efese 6:4.

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 1

Ndingenza njani ukuze umntwana wam ancokole nam?

Ngoxa babesebancinane, kusenokwenzeka ukuba abantwana bakho babekuxelela yonke into. Babengacingi kabini ngaphambi kokuphendula nantoni na oyibuzayo. Phofu ke,  kwakungade kufuneke ubabuze kwaukubabuza; babekuxelela nje yonke into. Kodwa ke ngoku, ngendlela abafihla ngayo abantwana bakho abakwishumi elivisayo, kunzima ukwazi izinto ngabo. Uzixelela oku, “Ekubeni bencokola nabahlobo babo, kutheni bengathethi nam?”

Ungagqibi kwelokuba abakufuni okanye abafuni ukuba wazi izinto eziqhubeka ebomini bakho, kuba nje bengafuni ukuthetha nawe. Eyona nyaniso yile, ngoku balufuna ngokwenene uncedo lwakho kunangaphambili. Iindaba ezimnandi zezi, uhlolisiso lufumanise ukuba inkoliso yabakwishumi elivisayo isalixabisa icebiso labazali balo—kwanangaphezu kweloontanga okanye elamajelo eendaba.

Ngoko ke, kutheni bemadolw’ anzima ukukuxelela into abayicingayo? Khawuve oko kuthethwa lolunye ulutsha ngesizathu sokuba lungakhululeki ukuthetha nabazali. Emva koko, zibuze le mibuzo ilandelayo uze ufunde nezibhalo ezikhankanyiweyo.

“Kunzima ukuthetha notata kuba uxakeke gqitha, emsebenzini nasebandleni. Alikhe libekho ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuthetha naye.”—UAndrew.

‘Ngaba ngandlel’ ithile abantwana bam abakwishumi elivisayo babona ngathi ndixakeke gqitha ukuba ndingancokola nabo? Ukuba kunjalo, ndingabenzela njani izinto lula ukuze bakwazi ukuncokola nam? Liliphi ixesha endingalibekela bucala ukuze ndincokole rhoqo nabantwana bam?’—Duteronomi 6:7.

“Ndabalisela umama ndinyembezana ngengxabano ebendinayo esikolweni. Ndandifuna andithuthuzele, kodwa wasuka wandingxolisa. Ukususela ngelo xesha, ndayeka ukumxelela izinto ezibalulekileyo kum.”—UKenji.

‘Ndisabela njani xa abantwana bam bendixelela ngeengxaki abanazo? Enoba kuza kufuneka ndibalungise, ngaba andinakukhe ndiqale ndiphulaphule ngovelwano ngaphambi kokuba ndibacebise?’—Yakobi 1:19.

 “Kubonakala ngathi ngalo lonke ixesha abazali besithi singathetha abazi kucaphuka, baye babe nomsindo. Ngoko umntwana wabo okwishumi elivisayo uyaphoxeka.”—URachel.

‘Ukuba umntwana wam undixelela into ecaphukisayo, ndinokuzibamba njani?’—IMizekeliso 10:19.

“Amaxesha amaninzi xa ndixelela uMama ngezinto zam, uye azibalisele abahlobo bakhe. Ndayeka kudala ukumthemba.”—UChantelle.

‘Ngaba ndiyazihlonela iimvakalelo zomntwana wam ngokungabaliseli abanye ngezinto eziyimfihlelo andixelele zona?’—IMizekeliso 25:9.

“Zininzi izinto endifuna ukuzithetha nabazali bam. Ndifuna nje indlela endinokuyiqala ngayo incoko.”—UCourtney.

‘Kutheni ndingakhe ndiyiqale ngokwam incoko nomntwana wam okwishumi elivisayo? Ngawaphi awona maxesha afanelekileyo okuncokola naye?’—INtshumayeli 3:7.

Njengomzali, kunokukunceda kakhulu ukwenza umntwana wakho ancokole ngokukhululekileyo nawe. Khawuphulaphule la mava kaJunko waseJapan oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala. Uthi: “Ndakha ndaxelela umama ukuba ndikhetha ukuba kunye nabantwana besikolo kunamanye amaKristu. Ngemini elandelayo, ndafika phezu kwedesika yam kukho ileta evela kuMama. Kule leta wandixelela ukuba naye wakha wavakalelwa ngathi akanakufumana bahlobo kumaKristu. Wandikhumbuza ngabantu abathile ekubhalwe ngabo eBhayibhileni ababekhonza uThixo naxa kwakungekho bantu ababenokubakhuthaza. Wandincoma nangemigudu endandiyenza yokuzama ukufuna abahlobo abafanelekileyo. Yandothusa into yokufumanisa ukuba yayingendim ndedwa onale ngxaki. Zasuka zehla iinyembezi ngenxa yokwazi ukuba nomama wayenengxaki efanayo. Kwandikhuthaza oko ndakuxelelwa ngumama, kwaza kwandomelezela ukuba ndenze okulungileyo.”

 Into eyabhaqwa ngunina kaJunko yeyokuba abantwana abakwishumi elivisayo bakhululeka kubazali babo xa beqinisekile ukuba izinto abazicingayo nendlela abavakalelwa ngayo ayizi kunyenjwa okanye igxijwe. Kodwa uza kuthini xa umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo esiba nomsindo xa ethetha nawe? Musa ukuba nomsindo nawe. (Roma 12:21; 1 Petros 2:23) Kodwa nakuba oko kunokubonakala kunzima, mmisele umzekelo wendlela olindele ukuba athethe aze aziphathe ngayo lo mntwana.

Nantsi into omele uyikhumbule: Njengoko bekhula, abantwana abakwishumi elivisayo bayatshintsha. Iingcali ziye zaphawula ukuba abantwana abakwishumi elivisayo bayathanda ukutshintshatshintsha—ngesinye isihlandlo udibana nabo beziphethe okwabantu abadala, ngeny’ imini okwabantwana. Ukuba uphawula ukuba nowakho umntwana unjalo, uza kuthini—ingakumbi xa eziphethe okomntwana.

Musa ukumgxeka okanye ube uhlisana unyusana naye. Kunoko, thetha naye njengomntu okwishumi elivisayo oza kuba ngumntu omdala ngenye imini. (1 Korinte 13:11) Ngokomzekelo, ukuba uvukwa bubuntwana aze athi, “Kutheni usoloko undichukela nje?” usenokuphendula ngomsindo. Noko ke, ukuba wenjenjalo, usenokuzibona sele uxambulisana naye. Kwelinye icala usenokuthi: “Ingathi ukhathazekile. Kubhetele siyithethe le nto xa wehlile.” Ngaloo ndlela uya kuba uthethe naye njengomntu omdala. Ngoko kuya kuba lula ukuphinda nithethe ngaphandle kokuxambulisana.

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 1 NESESI-2

  IMITHETHO

Ngaba ndifanele ndimbekele ixesha lokufika ekhaya?

Ukuze ukwazi ukuphendula lo mbuzo, cinga ngale meko: Ixesha olibekele unyana wakho ukuba abuye ngalo lidlule ngemizuzu engama-30, emva koko uva ucango lwangaphambili luvuleka. Ngaphakathi uthi, ‘Unkabi ucinga ukuba sele ndilele.’ Kanti ke uzibhudile izingqi. Enyanisweni, lithe lakufika ixesha lokuba abuye, wena wahlala ngasemnyango. Xa engena, uthi ntla ngawe. Uza kuthini? Uza kwenza ntoni?

Izinto zimbini. Usenokusuka nje ukubethe ngoyaba oku, uze uthi, ‘Anjalo kakade amakhwenkwe.’ Okanye usenokuba nomsindo uze uthi, “Akuzukuphinda uphume ngalaa mnyango!” Kunokuba usuke umohlwaye, phulaphula kuqala, mhlawumbi unesizathu esivakalayo sokufika emva kwexesha. Emva koko, ke usenokufumana ithuba lokufundisa unyana wakho into ebalulekileyo. Njani?

Icebiso: Mxelele umntwana wakho ukuba uza kuthetha naye ngosuku olulandelayo ngale nto. Emva koko, ngexesha elifanelekileyo hlala naye phantsi uze umxelele indlela oza kuyilungisa ngayo le ngxaki. Abanye abazali baye bazama oku: Xa unyana okanye intombi yabo ifike emva kwexesha elimiselweyo, ixesha emele ifike ngalo kwixa elizayo licuthwa ngemizuzu engama-30. Kwelinye icala, ukuba umntwana wakho usoloko ebuya ngexesha, usenokumnika inkululeko engakumbi—mhlawumbi maxa wambi ulandise ixesha lakhe lokubuya. Kubalulekile ukuba umntwana wakho alazi ixesha lokugoduka nento eya  kwenzeka xa efike emva kwalo. Kufuneka ubambelele ke kuloo nto uyithethileyo.

Noko ke, iBhayibhile ithi: “Ukuba nengqiqo kwenu makwazeke ebantwini bonke.” (Filipi 4:5) Ngaphambi kokuba ubeke ixesha, kusenokuba kuhle ukuba uqale uthethe nomntwana wakho, umnike ithuba lokuba achaze ixesha angathanda ukubuya ngalo nesizathu sokuba akhethe elo xesha. Cingisisa kakuhle ngesicelo sakhe. Ukuba umntwana wakho uthembekile, unokumvumela ukuba abuye ngelo xesha acele ukubuya ngalo ukuba lisengqiqweni.

Ukugcina ixesha kubalulekile ebomini. Xa ubekela umntwana wakho ixesha lokubuya, akwenzeli nje ukuba angabi sesitratweni ixesha elide. Uqeqesha umntwana wakho ngendlela eya kumnceda naxa sele engasahlali ekhaya.—IMizekeliso 22:6.

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 3, NOMQULU 2, ISAHLUKO 22

Ndingakulungisa njani ukungavisisani nabantwana bam ngendlela abanxiba ngayo?

Cinga ngomzekelo esivule ngawo kwiphepha 77 lalo mqulu. Masithi uHeather yintombi yakho. Uphawula ukuba, into ayinxibileyo iyambamba yaye ibonisa umzimba. Ukhawuleza uthi, “Hamba ke, mntanam uyokutshintsha ezo nto, okanye akuyi ndawo!” Loo ndlela usabela ngayo inokuba nemiphumo. Ngapha koko, lo mntwana akanandlela mbini ngaphandle kokukuthobela. Kodwa unokumnceda njani atshintshe indlela acinga ngayo, kunokutshintsha nje impahla ayinxibayo?

● Okokuqala, khumbula ukuba oyena mntu ufanele akhathazeke yimiphumo yokungandiliseki, ngulo mntwana wakho ukwishumi elivisayo kunokuba ibe nguwe. Enyanisweni, lo mntwana akafuni kubonakala esisidenge okanye atsalele kuye ingqalelo engeyomfuneko. Mchazele kakuhle ukuba eneneni ayibukeki into  yokunxiba ngokungandilisekanga. b Mcebise ngezinye iindlela anokunxiba ngazo.

● Okwesibini, sebenzisa ingqiqo. Zibuze, ‘Ngaba le mpahla iyangqubana nemigaqo yeBhayibhile, okanye kukuba nje mna andiyithandi?’ (2 Korinte 1:24; 1 Timoti 2:9, 10) Ukuba ayingqubani nemigaqo yeBhayibhile, kutheni ungamvumeli ayinxibe?

● Okwesithathu, musa ukwanela nje ukuxelela umntwana wakho ngempahla engafunekiyo kodwa mncede afumane leyo ifanelekileyo. Unokuqiqa naye ngokusebenzisa inkcazelo ekwiphepha 82 nelama-83 lalo mqulu. Akuyi kuzisola.

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 11

Ngaba ndifanele ndimvumele umntwana wam adlale imidlalo ye-elektroniki?

Imidlalo ye-elektroniki itshintshe kakhulu kunangokuya wena wawusekwishumi elivisayo. Njengomzali, unokumnceda njani umntwana wakho abone ubungozi bayo aze abuphephe?

Akuncedi nganto ukuthi yonke le midlalo ayifanelekanga yaye yinkcitha-xesha. Khumbula ukuba asiyiyo yonke imidlalo engafanelekanga. Kodwa ke, kunokuba nzima ukwahlukana nayo. Ngoko ke, jonga ixesha elichithwa ngumntwana wakho kule midlalo. Kwakhona hlolisisa imidlalo ethandwa ngumntwana wakho. Usenokude umbuze le mibuzo ilandelayo:

● Nguwuphi owona mdlalo uthandwa kakhulu eklasini yakho?

● Kuqhubeka ntoni kuloo mdlalo?

● Ucinga ukuba yintoni ebangela ukuba uthandwe kangaka?

 Usenokufumanisa ukuba ininzi gqitha into eyaziwa ngumntwana wakho kunokuba ucinga! Mhlawumbi sel’ ekhe wayidlala neminye imidlalo ocinga ukuba ayifanelekanga. Ukuba kunjalo, musa ukucaphuka. Eli lithuba lokumnceda ukuba asebenzise amandla akhe okuqonda.—Hebhere 5:14.

Mbuze imibuzo eya kumnceda abone isizathu sokuba athande kanye le midlalo ingafanelekanga. Ngokomzekelo, unokumbuza lo mbuzo:

● Ngaba ucinga ukuba wahlukile kwabanye abantwana kuba ungavumelekanga ukuba udlale umdlalo othile?

Ulutsha oluninzi ludlala imidlalo ethile ukuze lube nento olunokuncokola ngayo noontanga. Ukuba kunjalo nangowakho umntwana, mhlawumbi akuyi kwenza ngendlela obuza kwenza ngayo xa ebethanda imidlalo enogonyamelo okanye ekhuthaza ukuziphatha okubi ngokwesini.—Kolose 4:6.

Kodwa kuthekani ukuba umntwana wakho uthanda izinto ezingafanelekanga kule midlalo? Abanye banokukhawuleza bathi ugonyamelo olukwimidlalo yekhompyutha alubachaphazeli nganto. Bathi, ‘Ukudlala umdlalo ekhompyutheni akuthethi kuthi ndiza kuyenza ngokoqobo loo nto.’ Ukuba umntwana wakho ucinga ngaloo ndlela, funda naye INdumiso 11:5. Njengoko le ndinyana ibonisa, uThixo akathiyanga nje umntu onogonyamelo, kodwa uthiye nabo baluthandayo. Kuyafana ke nangokuziphatha okubi ngokwesini okanye nasiphi na isenzo esigatywayo liLizwi likaThixo.—INdumiso 97:10.

Ukuba imidlalo ye-elektroniki iyingxaki emntwaneni wakho, zama oku kulandelayo:

● Musa ukuvumela abantwana ukuba bayidlalele kwindawo esitheleyo, njengakwigumbi lokulala.

● Misela imithetho—ngokomzekelo, umntwana akanakudlala engekatyi okanye engekawugqibi umsebenzi wesikolo okanye nawuphi na omnye.

● Bethelela indlela ekubaluleke ngayo ukudlala eminye imidlalo eshukumis’ igazi.

 ● Babukele abantwana bakho xa bedlala imidlalo ye-elektroniki—okanye mhlawumbi, ungade udlale nabo ngamany’ amaxesha.

Kakade ke, ukuze ukwazi ukubanceda abantwana bakho kule nkalo, ufanele ube ngumzekelo ukuze ukwazi ukuthetha nabo ngokukhululekileyo. Ngoko ke zibuze, ‘Luhlobo olunjani lweenkqubo endizibukela kumabonwakude?’ Ungaziqhathi—ukuba nawe ubukela iinkqubo ezingafanelekanga, abantwana bakujongile!

FUNDA UMQULU 2, ISAHLUKO 30

Kuthekani ukuba umntwana wam ulikhoboka leselfowuni, lekhompyutha okanye ezinye izinto ze-elektroniki?

Ngaba umntwana wakho uchitha ixesha elininzi kwikhompyutha, ebhalelana nabanye ngefowuni okanye ngaba uchitha ixesha elininzi ephulaphule iMP3 kunokuba ancokole nani? Ukuba kunjalo, yintoni onokuyenza?

Usenokuthatha eso sixhobo ahlala esisebenzisa. Kodwa musa ukucinga ukuba zonke izinto ze-elektroniki azifanelekanga. Kaloku nawe kusenokwenzeka ukuba kukho isixhobo se-elektroniki osisebenzisayo ababengenaso abazali bakho. Ngoko, ngaphandle kokuba kunyanzelekile, kunokuba usithathe esi sixhobo unokusebenzisa eli thuba ukuze ufundise unyana okanye intombi yakho indlela efanelekileyo yokusisebenzisa. Unokukwenza njani oku?

Thetha nomntwana wakho ngale nto. Qala ngokumchazela ukuba iyakuxhalabisa indlela asebenzisa ngayo izinto ze-elektroniki. Okwesibini, mphulaphule njengokuba echaza izimvo zakhe. (IMizekeliso 18:13) Okwesithathu, zama ukufumana isicombululo. Ungoyiki ukumbekela imithetho ecacileyo kodwa ukwenze oko ngengqiqo. UEllen okwishumi elivisayo uthi: “Xa ndandinengxaki yokubhalela abanye ngefowuni, abazali bam abazange bayithathe iselfowuni yam kodwa bandibekela imiqathango. Indlela abayicombulula ngayo le ngxaki yandinceda  ndakwazi ukuyisebenzisa kakuhle ifowuni naxa sele bengekho.”

Kuthekani ukuba unyana okanye intombi yakho iyazithethelela? Musa ukugqiba kwelokuba uza kulibetha ngoyaba icebiso lakho. Kunoko, yiba nomonde uze unike umntwana wakho ixesha elaneleyo lokucinga. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uyavumelana nawe ibe uza kuyitshintsha indlela azisebenzisa ngayo izinto ze-elektroniki. Ulutsha oluninzi luvakalelwa ngendlela efanayo noHailey othi: “Ekuqaleni ndacaphuka xa abazali bam babesithi ndilikhoboka lekhompyutha. Kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha ndayicingisisa le nto ndaza ndabona ukuba banyanisile.”

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 36

 INKULULEKO

Ndifanele ndimnike inkululeko engakanani umntwana wam?

Lo mbuzo usenokubonakala unzima ngakumbi xa ucinga ngezinto ezibandakanyekileyo xa umntwana enezinto azazi yedwa. Ngokomzekelo kuthekani ukuba unyana wakho uzivalela  kwigumbi lakhe lokulala? Ngaba ungasuka nje ungene ungankqonkqozanga? Okanye kuthekani ukuba intombi yakho ilibele iselfowuni yayo njengoko iphume ingxamile ukuya esikolweni? Ngaba ufanele ufunde izinto ezikuloo fowuni?

Inzima le mibuzo. Njengomzali, unelungelo lokwazi oko kuqhubeka kumntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo yaye unembopheleleko yokumkhusela. Kanti, akunakusoloko ujongene nayo yonke into eyenziwa ngumntwana wakho. Unokulungelelana njani kulo mba?

Okokuqala, yiqonde into yokuba xa umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo efuna ukuba nezinto ezaziwa nguye yedwa, loo nto ayisoloko ibonisa ukuba wenza into ephosakeleyo. Le yinto eqhelekileyo kumntu osakhulayo. Xa abakwishumi elivisayo benezinto abazazi bodwa batsho bakwazi ukuzivavanya njengoko bezama ukuzifunela abahlobo baze bacinge ngeengxaki zabo besebenzisa ‘amandla abo engqiqo.’ (Roma 12:1, 2) Ukuba nezinto abazazi bodwa kuyabanceda abakwishumi elivisayo ukuba bakhulise amandla abo okucinga—phawu olo olubalulekileyo olubenza babe ngabantu abaqolileyo. Kanti kubanika ithuba lokucingisisa ngaphambi kokuba benze izigqibo okanye baphendule imibuzo enzima.—IMizekeliso 15:28.

Okwesibini, qonda ukuba ukuzama ukumlandela ngasemva umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo kunokumenza akuzonde aze avukele. (Efese 6:4; Kolose 3:21) Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba umele ungambek’ esweni? Akunjalo, kuba usengumzali. Noko ke, eyona nto uyifunayo kukuba umntwana wakho abe nesazela esiqeqeshiweyo. (Duteronomi 6:6, 7; IMizekeliso 22:6) Ekugqibeleni, ufanele umfundise kunokusoloko umgadile.

Okwesithathu, wuxubushe nomntwana wakho lo mba. Phulaphula izinto ezimxhalabisayo. Ngaba unokukhe uyekelele ngamanye amathuba? Mxelele ukuba uya kumvumela abe neemfihlelo logama nje engakuphoxi. Mchazele imiphumo yokungathobeli, uze umbeke esweni xa kuyimfuneko. Qiniseka  ukuba unako ukuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba abe nezinto azazi yedwa, ungakhange uyiyeke indima yakho yokuba ngumzali onenkathalo.

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 3 NESE-15

Umntwana wam unokuyeka nini esikolweni?

“Ootishala bam bayandidika!” “Ndifumana umsebenzi wasekhaya omninzi.” “Esikolweni ndipasa nzima—andisiboni isizathu sokuba ndizame.” Ngenxa yeengxaki ezinjalo, olunye ulutsha luye lufune ukuyeka esikolweni ngaphambi kokuba lufumane ubuchule obufunekayo bokukwazi ukuzixhasa. Ukuba unyana okanye intombi yakho ifuna ukuyeka esikolweni, yintoni onokuyenza? Zama oku kulandelayo:

● Hlola indlela oyijonga ngayo imfundo. Ngaba isikolo wawusijonga njengenkcitha xesha okanye ngokungathi uvalelwe entolongweni, ulindele umhla oya kukhululeka ngawo ukuze wenze into oyithandayo? Ukuba kunjalo, indlela oyijonga ngayo imfundo inokubosulela abantwana bakho. Eneneni, imfundo efanelekileyo iya kubanceda bafumane “ubulumko bobuqili namandla okucinga”—mpawu ezo ezifunekayo ukuze baphumelele xa bebadala.—IMizekeliso 3:21.

● Mababe nazo izinto eziyimfuneko. Abanye abantwana ngebephumelela, nto nje abazi ukuba kufundwa njani—okanye abanayo indawo efanelekileyo yokufundela. Ukuze umntwana afunde kakuhle kusenokufuneka abe nedesika engazalanga zizinto, enesibane esikhanyisa kakuhle nezinto zokwenza uphando. Unokumnceda enze inkqubela esikolweni okanye kwizinto ezinokuthanani nonqulo ngokuba angaphazanyiswa xa efunda.—Thelekisa eyoku-1 kuTimoti 4:15.

● Bancedise. Qhelana nootitshala nabo baqeqeshelwe ukucebisa abantwana besikolo, ungabajongi njengeentshaba zakho. Zazise kubo. Bazi ngamagama. Thetha nabo ngosukelo neengxaki umntwana wakho ajamelene nazo. Ukuba umntwana wakho uyasokola kwizifundo zakhe, zama ukukhangela unobangela  woko. Ngokomzekelo, ngaba umntwana wakho uvakalelwa kukuba, xa ephum’ emagqabini esikolweni uza kuba sisisulu sokugculelwa ngabanye abantwana? Ngaba unengxaki netitshala yakhe? Kuthekani ngezifundo zakhe? Nangona umntwana efanele afundiswe izinto ezinzima njengoko eqhubeka nesikolo, akafanele abe nomthwalo ongaphezu kwamandla akhe. Esinye isizathu isenokuba sesi: Ngaba mhlawumbi kukho undonakele, njengokungaboni kakuhle okanye ingxaki yokufunda?

Ukuba uyancedisa kwinkqubo yokufundiswa komntwana wakho esikolweni nakwizinto zonqulo, maninzi amathuba okuba aphumelele.—INdumiso 127:4, 5.

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 19

Ndiza kwazi njani xa umntwana wam ekulungele ukushiya ikhaya?

USerena, okhankanywe kwiSahluko 7 salo mqulu uyoyika ukushiy’ ikhaya. Ibangelwa yintoni loo nto? Uthi: “Nokuba sendifuna ukuthenga into ngemali yam, uTata akandivumeli. Uthi, ndimele ndiyithengelwe nguye. Ngoko ke, kuyandoyikisa ukucinga ngokuba kuza kufuneka ndizihlawulele izinto.” Asinakuyiphikisa into yokuba utata kaSerena ufuna ukwenza okulungileyo, kodwa ngaba uyayinceda intombi yakhe ukuba ikulungele ukunyamekela ikhaya layo ngeny’ mini?—IMizekeliso 31:10, 18, 27.

Ngaba abantwana bakho ubenzela yonke into kangangokuba abakulungelanga ukuzimela? Unokuyazi njani loo nto? Cinga ngezinto ezine ekuthethwe ngazo kwiSahluko7 kumxholwana othi “Ngaba Ndikulungele?”—kodwa ke uzijonge ngeliso lomzali.

Ukuyisebenzisa kakuhle imali. Ngaba abantwana bakho abasele bebadala bayakwazi ukuzalisa iphepha lerhafu okanye bayazazi izinto abafanele bazenze ukuze bathobele imithetho yerhafu yelizwe lenu? (Roma 13:7) Ngaba bayakwazi ukuthenga ngetyala bengadyakrazi? (IMizekeliso 22:7) Ngaba  bayakwazi ukuyisebenzisa kakuhle imali abayamkelayo? (Luka 14:28-30) Ngaba bakhe bazithengela into ngemali abayisebenzeleyo? Ngaba bakhe basebenzise ixesha nezinto abanazo ukuze bancede abanye?—IZenzo 20:35.

Imisebenzi yasekhaya. Ngaba iintombi noonyana bakho bayakwazi ukupheka? Ngaba ubafundisile ukuhlamba nokuayina iimpahla? Ukuba bayaqhuba, ngaba bayakwazi ukulungisa izinto ezincinane emotweni njengokutshintsha ifuse, ioli, okanye itayara eligqabhukileyo?

Ukusebenzisana nabanye abantu. Xa abantwana bakho abadala bengavisisani, ngaba usoloko ungenelela ngokubanik’ isicombululo? Okanye, ngaba ubafundise ukuzicombulula ngoxolo iingxaki zabo baze emva koko bakuchazele indlela abazisingathe ngayo?—Mateyu 5:23-25.

Ukuzibekela ixesha lezinto zokomoya. Ngaba uyabaxelela abantwana bakho izinto abafanele bakholelwe kuzo okanye ngaba ubanceda baziqonde? (2 Timoti 3:14, 15) Kunokusoloko ubaphendulela imibuzo abanayo ngonqulo nangokuziphatha, ngaba ubanceda bahlakulele “amandla okucinga?” (IMizekeliso 1:4) Ngaba ufuna bafundisise iBhayibhile ngendlela wena owenza ngayo okanye ufuna benze okubhetele kunoko? c

Ayinakuphikiswa into yokuba, ukuqeqesha abantwana bakho ngale ndlela kufuna ixesha nomgudu. Kodwa kuyanceda ukwenza oko ingakumbi xa beshiya ikhaya.

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 7

  ISINI NOKUTHANDANA

Ngaba ndifanele ndithethe nomntwana wam ngesini?

Umbandela wesini kuthethwa ngawo ebantwaneni besebancinane kakhulu. IBhayibhile yaprofeta yathi ‘imihla yokugqibela’ iya kuphawulwa “ngamaxesha amanqam ekunzima ukujamelana nawo,” yaye kuya kubakho abantu “abangenakuzeyisa” “nabathandi beziyolo kunokuba bathande uThixo.” (2 Timoti 3:1, 3, 4) Ukuba neentlobano zesini nomntu ongathandani naye kubonisa indlela esiye sazaliseka ngayo esi siprofeto.

Ihlabathi lahluke gqitha kwixesha owakhula ngalo. Kodwa ukusa kumkhamo othile, iingxaki zisafana. Ngenxa yoko ungaze ucinge ukuba akukho nto unokuyenza ngeengozi ezingqonge abantwana bakho. Kunoko, zimisele ukubanceda njengokuba umpostile uPawulos wabongoza amaKristu kwiminyaka engama-2 000 eyadlulayo: “Yambathani sonke isikrweqe sikaThixo ukuze nikwazi ukuma niqinile nxamnye namaqhinga kaMtyholi.” (Efese 6:11) Inyaniso kukuba, ulutsha olungamaKristu lumele lunconywe ngokulwela ukwenza okulungileyo, nakuba lungqongwe yimpembelelo embi. Unokubanceda njani abantwana bakho benze okufanayo?

Enye indlela yokwenza oko kukuthetha nomntwana wakho, usebenzisa izahluko ezithile kwiCandelo 4 lale ncwadi neCandelo 1 nele-7 kuMqulu 2. Ezi zahluko zinezibhalo ezichukumisayo. Ezinye zibonisa imizekelo yabantu abenza okulungileyo  baza bafumana iintsikelelo, nabo bayiphosa kwelokulibala imithetho kaThixo baza bangena enkathazweni. Ezinye izibhalo zinemigaqo enokunceda abantwana bakho baqonde ukuba wena nabo ninelungelo elingathethekiyo lokuphila ngemithetho kaThixo. Kutheni ungawuhlolisisi kunye nabo lo mbandela?

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 23, 25, NESAMA-32,  ,  ,  ,  , NOMQULU 2, ISAHLUKO 4-6, 28 NESAMA-29

Ngaba ndifanele ndimvumele umntwana wam ukuba athandane?

Ngokuqinisekileyo enoba kunini na, abantwana bakho baza kufuna ukuthandana. UPhillip uthi: “Akukho kwanto ndiyenzayo! Iintombi ziyazizela yaye into edla ngokuthi qatha kum yeyokuba, ‘Ndiza kuthini kanene?’ Kunzima ukwala kuba ezinye zazo zintle gqitha!”

Eyona nto unokuyenza njengomzali kukuncokola nabantwana bakho ngalo mba, mhlawumbi nixubushe iSahluko 1 soMqulu 2. Buza unyana okanye intombi yakho ukuba ivakalelwa njani ngeengxaki ejamelana nazo esikolweni nkqu nakwibandla lamaKristu. Maxa wambi ninokuthetha ngalo mba nanini na, ‘njengasekuhlaleni kwakho endlwini yakho, nasekuhambeni kwakho ngendlela.’ (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) Enoba uphi na okanye kunini na, hlala ukhumbula ukuba kufuneka ‘ukhawuleze ukuva, uze ucothe ukuthetha.’—Yakobi 1:19.

Ukuba unyana okanye intombi yakho inomdla kumntu wesini esahlukileyo, mus’ ukothuka. Eny’ intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo ithi: “Xa utata wafumanisa ukuba ndiyathandana wacaphuka gqitha! Wazama ukundoyikisa, endibuza enoba ndikulungele kusini na ukutshata—yiloo nto kanye ebangela ukuba abantu abaselula baqhubeke bethandana kuba befuna nje ukubonisa abazali babo ukuba banako ukuyenza loo nto!”

Ukuba umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo uyazi ukuba akukhe kuthethwe ngokuthandana okanye ucinga ukuba kukho  into embi eza kwenzeka, uza kuthandana nomntu akufihlele. Eny’ intombazana ithi: “Xa abazali bengafuni nokuva ngokuthandana kwabantwana babo, abantwana bayifihla ngakumbi into yokuba bayathandana. Abayeki. Bayakufihlela.”

Imiphumo iba mihle ngakumbi xa uye wathetha phandle ngalo mba. UBrittany oneminyaka engama-20 ubudala uthi: “Abazali bam bebesoloko bethetha phandle ngokuthandana. Kubalulekile ukuba bamazi umntu endinomdla kuye yaye ndicinga ukuba yinto entle leyo! Utata uye athethe naloo mntu. Ukuba kukho into ebaxhalabisayo abazali bam, bayandixelela. Ngokuqhelekileyo ndiye ndigqibe kwelokuba andinamdla ngaphambi kokuba ndithandane naloo mntu.”

Emva kokuba ufunde iSahluko 2 uMqulu 2, usenokuzibuza, ‘Ngaba unyana okanye intombi yam inokuthandana ngaphandle ngokundazisa?’ Khawuve oko kuthethwa lulutsha oluninzi ngesizathu sokuba olunye lufune ukuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo, uze ucinge ngale mibuzo ilandelayo.

“Abanye abazali abanalo ixesha lokuphulaphula izinto ezixhalabisa abantwana, ngoko baye bathandane ukuze babe nabantu abaza kuphalaza imbilini yabo kubo.”—UWendy.

Njengomzali, unokuqiniseka njani ukuba unikel’ ingqalelo kwizinto ezixhalabisa umntwana wakho? Ngaba unokuphucula kule nkalo? Ukuba uza kwenjenjalo, yintoni ofanele uyenze?

“Xa ndandineminyaka eli-14 ubudala, umfundi ovela kwelinye ilizwe wacela ukuba sithandane. Ndavuma. Ndandicinga ukuba kuza kuba mnandi ukugonwa ngumfana.”—UDiane.

Ukuba uDiane ebengumntwana wakho, ubunokuyicombulula njani le ngxaki?

“Iiselfowuni zenza kube lula ukuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo. Abazali abazi nowathethwa ngazo!”—UAnnette.

Yiyiphi imiqathango onokuyibekela abantwana bakho ngendlela abayisebenzisa ngayo iselfowuni?

 “Ukuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo kulula xa abazali bengazikhathazi ngokuba abantwana babo benza ntoni, beyenza nabani.”—UThomas.

Ngaba zikho iindlela onokusondelelana ngazo nabantwana bakho abakwishumi elivisayo uze kwangaxeshanye ubanike inkululeko yabo?

“Ngamaxesha amaninzi abanye abazali ababi kunye nabantwana babo ekhaya. Okanye babathemba gqitha abanye abantu kangangokude babavumele ukuba bahambe nabantwana babo.”—UNicholas.

Cinga nje ngabona bahlobo basenyongweni babantwana bakho. Ngaba uyayazi into abayenzayo xa bekunye nabo?

“Abantwana banokuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo xa abazali bengqongqo gqitha.”—UPaul.

Ngaphandle kokulalanisa kwimithetho nemigaqo yeBhayibhile, yintoni eninokuyenza ukuze ‘ukuba nengqiqo kwenu kwazeke’?—Filipi 4:5.

“Ngoxa ndandisekwishumi elivisayo, ndandizijongela phantsi yaye ndandifun’ ukuhoywa. Ndaqalisa ukubhalelana ii-e-mail nomfana okwibandla eliselumelwaneni saza saqalisa ukuthandana. Wayendenza ndizive ndikhethekile.”—ULinda.

Ucinga ukuba ikho indlela ebhetele awayenokuncedwa ngayo uLinda kowabo?

Kutheni ungancokoli nonyana okanye intombi yakho usebenzisa iSahluko 2 kuMqulu 2 kunye neli candelo leSihlomelo? Eyona nto inokuthintela ukufihlwa kwezinto kukuba zithethwe phandle.—IMizekeliso 20:5.

FUNDA UMQULU 2, ISAHLUKO 1-3

  IIMVAKALELO

Ndimele ndithini xa umntwana wam ethetha ngokuzibulala?

Kwezinye iindawo ehlabathini ukuzibulala sele kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Ngokomzekelo, eUnited States abantu abaninzi abafayo abaphakathi kweminyaka eli-15 nengama-25 ubudala bayazibulala yaye ebudeni bale minyaka ingamashumi amabini idluleyo, liye laphindwa kabini inani lolutsha oluphakathi kweminyaka eli-10 neli-14 ubudala oluye lwazibulala. Olona lutsha lusesichengeni sokuzibulala lolugula ngengqondo, olunelungu okanye amalungu entsapho akha azibulala nolwalukhe lwazama ukuzibulala. Izinto ezisenokubonisa ukuba oselula ucinga ngokuzibulala ziquka ezi zilandelayo:

● Ukuba likheswa

● Ukutshintsha indlela otya ngayo nolala ngayo

● Ukuphelelwa ngumdla kwizinto obukade uthanda ukuzenza

● Ukutshintsha ubuntu bakho ngendlela ephawulekayo

● Ukusebenzisa kakubi iziyobisi okanye ukuzintyintya ngotywala

● Ukuphisa ngezinto zexabiso

● Ukuthetha ngokufa

Eyona mpazamo inkulu inokwenziwa ngumzali kukuzibetha  ngoyaba ezi zinto. Azimele zithatyathwe lula izinto. Ungakhawulezi uzixelele ukuba le isenokuba yinto nje edlulayo.

Musa ukuba madolw’ anzima ukufun’ uncedo xa unyana okanye intombi yakho ixinezelekile okanye igula ngengqondo. Xa ukrokrela ukuba umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo ucinga ngokuzibulala, mbuze. Bubuxoki inkolelo yokuba uyamkhuthaza xa uthetha ngokuzibulala. Ulutsha oluninzi luyakhululeka xa abazali bethetha ngalo mba. Ngoko ke, ukuba umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo uyavuma ukuba ukhe acinge ngokuzibulala, mbuze enoba sele eyicingile indlela aza kukwenza ngayo oko. Xa ukwazi oko uya kutsho ubone indlela ekungxamiseke ngayo ukuba umncede.

Musa ukucinga ukuba ukuxinezeleka kuza kuvele nje kuziphelele. Ukuba kubonakala kuthe cwaka, musa ukucinga ukuba ingxaki ilungile. Kunoko, eli iba lelona xesha linzima. Kutheni kunjalo nje? Okwishumi elivisayo oxinezeleke kakhulu usenokungabi nawo amandla okuzibulala. Xa kubonakala ukuba akaxinezelekanga kangako, kuxa efumana amandla okuzibulala.

Ngenxa yokuphelelwa lithemba, ulutsha oluninzi luye lucinge ngokuzibulala. Abazali nabanye abantu abadala abakhathalayo ‘banokuyithuthuzela imiphefumlo edandathekileyo’ baze babe yindawo yokuzimela yolutsha ukuba bayaziphawula izinto ezibonisa ukuba umntwana ufuna ukuzibulala.—1 Tesalonika 5:14.

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 13 NESE-14, NOMQULU 2, ISAHLUKO 26

Ngaba ndifanele ndibafihlele abantwana bam intlungu endikuyo?

Kubuhlungu ukufelwa liqabane. Sekunjalo, le nto yenzeka kanye xa kufuneka uncede umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo. Unokumnceda njani ahlangabezane nale ntlungu, ngoxa nawe usesentlungwini? d Zama oku kulandelayo:

● Musa ukuziqinisa. Izinto ezininzi azaziyo umntwana wakho  ngobomi uzibone kuwe. Uya kuyifunda ngolo hlobo nendlela yokumelana nentlungu. Ngoko ungaze uvakalelwe kukuba umele uziqinise ukuze umntwana wakho angakuboni ukuba usentlungwini. Oku kuya kwenza ukuba azifihle naye. Kodwa ukuba akuyifihli intlungu okuyo, nomntwana wakho uya kufunda ukuba umntu akamele aziqinise, ayifihle into yokuba ubuhlungu okanye unomsindo.

● Mkhuthaze umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo ukuba athethe. Mkhuthaze ukuba akhuphe imbilini yakhe, kodwa ungamnyanzeli. Ukuba yena akakhululeki ukuthetha, unokuxubusha naye iSahluko 16 salo mqulu. Kwakhona, mbalisele ngezinto ezintle olikhumbula ngazo iqabane lakho. Yivume into yokuba akuzi kuba lula ukuphila ngaphandle kwalo. Xa uphalaza imbilini yakho, uya kumnceda umntwana wakho enze okufanayo.

● Zazi iintsilelo zakho. Kuyaqondakala ukuba, ngalo lonke eli xesha linzima, ufuna ukumxhasa umntwana wakho. Kodwa ukhumbule ukuba nawe uxhelekile kukufelwa liqabane olithandayo. Ngoko kusenokwenzeka ukuba wonganyelwe kukudimazeka yaye uphelelwe ngamandla. (IMizekeliso 24:10) Ngoko ke, usenokucela uncedo kwizalamane nakubahlobo bakho abaqolileyo. Kubonisa ukuqola ukucela uncedo. IMizekeliso 11:2 ithi: “Bunabathozamileyo ubulumko.”

Oyena mntu unokusinceda nguYehova uThixo, obathembisa oku abo bamnqulayo: “Mna, Yehova uThixo wakho, ndibamba isandla sakho sasekunene, ndithi kuwe, ‘Musa ukoyika. Mna ngokwam ndiza kukunceda.’”—Isaya 41:13.

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 16

Ndinokuyinceda njani intombi yam ukuze itye ngendlela efanelekileyo?

Ukuba intombi yakho inengxaki yokutya, yintoni onokuyenza? e Okokuqala zama ukwazi unobangela wokuba intombi yakho ibe nale ngxaki.

 Kufunyaniswe ukuba abantu abaninzi abanengxaki yokutya bazijongela phantsi okanye bazibekela imilinganiselo ephakame gqitha. Zama ukuba ingabi nguwe unobangela wale ngxaki. Nceda intombi yakho izithembe.—1 Tesalonika 5:11.

Kwakhona hlolisisa indlela wena okujonga ngayo ukutya nobungakanani bomzimba wakho. Ngaba ezi zizinto usoloko uthetha ngazo okanye uzenza ungaqondanga? Khumbula ukuba ulutsha luyixhalabele gqitha inkangeleko yalo. Kwanokuqhula umntwana ngokuba umbuku-mbuku okanye mkhulu okwesigebenga akunto imnandi kumntwana okhathazeka msinya.

Emva kokuba ucinge nzulu ngalo mba, thetha nentombi yakho ngokunyanisekileyo. Ukuze wenjenjalo yenza oku kulandelayo:

● Cinga kakuhle ngoko uza kukuthetha nexesha oza kukuthetha ngalo.

● Mchazele isizathu sokuxhalaba kwakho nomnqweno onawo wokumnceda.

● Musa ukothuka xa eqala ngokuzithethelela.

● Mphulaphule ngomonde.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuncedisana nentombi yakho kwimigudu eyenzayo. Intsapho yonke mayimncede lo mntwana!

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 10, NOMQULU 2, ISAHLUKO 7

   IZINTO ZOKOMOYA

Ndinokuqhubeka njani ndifundisa abantwana bam izinto zokomoya njengoko bekhula?

IBhayibhile ithi uTimoti wafundiswa izinto zokomoya “kwasebusaneni,” yaye njengomzali kusenokwenzeka ukuba nawe wenze njalo kubantwana bakho. (2 Timoti 3:15) Noko ke, xa abantwana bakho besiba kwishumi elivisayo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba kuye kufuneke utshintshe indlela obafundisa ngayo. Abantwana bakho abasakhulayo baqalisa ukuqonda izinto ekwakunzima ukuziqonda ngoxa babesebancinane. Ngoku kuza kufuneka ubafundise ngendlela yokuba bakwazi ukusebenzisa ‘amandla abo engqiqo.’—Roma 12:1.

Xa wayebhalela uTimoti, uPawulos wakhankanya izinto ‘ezafundwa nguTimoti waza weyiselwa ekuzikholelweni.’ (2 Timoti 3:14) Ngoku kufuneka abantwana bakho abakwishumi elivisayo ‘ubeyisele ekuyikholelweni’ inyaniso yeBhayibhile abebeyazi kwasebusaneni. Ukuze ufikelele iintliziyo zabo kufuneka wenze okungakumbi kunokubaxelela nje oko bafanele bakwenze okanye bakukholelwe. Kufuneka bazifundele. Unokubanceda njani? Qala ngokubanika ithuba elaneleyo lokuqiqa nokuphendula le mibuzo ilandelayo:

● Bubuphi ubungqina endinabo bokuba uThixo ukho?—Roma 1:20.

● Ndazi njani ukuba izinto endizifundiswa ngabazali bam eBhayibhileni ziyinyaniso?—IZenzo 17:11.

 ● Yintoni ebangela ukuba ndiqiniseke ukuba imilinganiselo yeBhayibhile iluncedo kum?—Isaya 48:17, 18.

● Ndazi njani ukuba iziprofeto zeBhayibhile ziza kuzaliseka?—Yoshuwa 23:14.

● Yintoni endenza ndiqiniseke ukuba ayikho into esehlabathini eyodlula ‘ixabiso eligqwesileyo lolwazi olungoKristu Yesu.’—Filipi 3:8.

● Idini lentlawulelo likaKristu lithetha ntoni kum?—2 Korinte 5:14, 15; Galati 2:20.

Usenokungafuni ukuba abantwana bakho abakwishumi elivisayo baphendule le mibuzo kuba usoyikisela ukuba abazi kukwazi ukuyiphendula. Kodwa oku kufana nokoyika ukujonga ukuba ingakanani ipetroli emotweni yakho usoyika ukubona ukuba sele iphelile. Okona kubhetele kukuba uyijonge ukuze ukwazi ukuyigalela. Ngokufanayo ke, xa abantwana besesekhaya, lelona xesha lifanelekileyo lokuba ubancede bakwazi ukuphendula imibuzo ephathelele ukholo baze ‘beyiselwe ekuzikholelweni’ izinto abazifundiswayo. f

Khumbula ukuba, akukho nto iphosakeleyo xa unyana okanye intombi yakho ibuza, “Siyintoni isizathu sokuba ndikukholelwe oku?” UDiane oneminyaka engama-22 ukhumbula into awayeyenza ngoxa wayekwishumi elivisayo. Uthi: “Ndandingafuni ukukholelwa kwinto endingayaziyo. Ukufumana iimpendulo ezicacileyo kwandenza ndaqonda ukuba ndiyakuthanda ukuba liNgqina likaYehova! Nanini na xa ndibuzwa ngesizathu sokungayenzi into ethile, kunokuba ndiphendule ngokuthi, ‘Le nto ayivumelekanga kunqulo lwam,’ ndandiye ndithi, ‘Andiqondi ukuba ifanelekile.’ Ngamanye amazwi, izinto ndandizijonga ngendlela eziyiyo eBhayibhileni.”

Icebiso: Ukuze ukwazi ukubona enoba umntwana wakho uyakwazi ukuqiqa ngemigaqo yeBhayibhile, yithi makazibeke ezihlangwini zomzali xa kuvela ingxaki ethile. Ngokomzekelo, masithi intombi yakho icela ukuya kwitheko olaziyo (nayo elaziyo)  ukuba alifanelekanga. Kunokuba usuke nje ungayivumeli ukuba iye, usenokuthi: ‘Ndicela uzibeke ezihlangwini zam. Khawucinge ngeli theko ufuna ukuya kulo, wenze uphando (mhlawumbi ufunde iSahluko 37 sale ncwadi neSahluko 32 kuMqulu 2), size sithethe ngalo ngomso. Mna ndiza kuzenza wena ndize ndicele ukuya ethekweni, uze wena njengomzali undixelele enoba ndimele ndiye kusini na.’

FUNDA UMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 38,  ,  , NOMQULU 2, ISAHLUKO 34-36

Umntwana wethu okwishumi elivisayo akasenamdla kwizinto zokomoya. Simele senze ntoni?

Okokuqala, ungakhawulezi ugqibe kwelokuba umntwana wakho akalufuni ukholo lwakho. Kwiimeko ezininzi sibakho isizathu sokungabi namdla. Ngokomzekelo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba umntwana wakho

● Uphenjelelwa ngoontanga yaye uyoyika ukwahluka ngenxa yemigaqo yeBhayibhile

● Uyalubona olunye ulutsha (nabantwana bakowabo) olwenza inkqubela ngokomoya yaye yena uvakalelwa kukuba akafani nalo

● Ufuna abahlobo kodwa uziva elilolo okanye engabafumani phakathi kwamanye amaKristu

● Ubona olunye ulutsha “olungamaKristu” luphila ubomi obumbaxa

● Usafunda ngohlobo lomntu alulo yaye ngenxa yoko uziva enyanzelekile ukukubuza ngezinto ezibalulekileyo kuwe

● Ubona abantwana afunda nabo besenza izinto eziphosakeleyo baze bangahlelwa zizinto ezimbi

● Uzama ukukholisa umzali ongengomKristu

Licacile elokuba, ezi zinto azinanto yakwenza nokholo lwakho. Zizinto nje eziphathelele iimeko ezibangela ukuba kube  nzima ukwenza ukuthanda kukaThixo okwangoku. Ngoko, yintoni onokuyenza ukuze umkhuthaze?

Musa ukuba ngqongqo gqitha, kodwa bambelela kwimigaqo. Zama ukuqonda isizathu sokuba umntwana wakho adimazeke, uze wenze uhlengahlengiso oluthile ukuze akhule ngokomoya. (IMizekeliso 16:20) Ngokomzekelo, umxholo othi “Ukuxhobela Ingcinezelo Yoontanga” okwiphepha 132 nele-133 kuMqulu 2 unokubangela ukuba umntwana wakho azithembe angoyiki ukuphendula abantwana afunda nabo. Okanye ukuba ulilolo, usenokumnceda akwazi ukufumana abahlobo abafanelekileyo.

Yiba nomntu oza kumnceda. Maxa wambi ulutsha lukhuthazwa ngumntu omdala ongelilo ilungu lentsapho. Ngaba ukho umntu omaziyo oqolileyo ngokomoya onokuba ngumzekelo kumntwana wakho? Kutheni ungamceli ukuba achithe ixesha kunye nomntwana wakho? Oku akuthethi ukuba uyayityeshela imbopheleleko yakho. Kodwa cinga ngoTimoti. Wancedwa gqitha ngumzekelo kampostile uPawulos, yaye noPawulos wazuza lukhulu ngokuba neqabane elinguTimoti.—Filipi 2:20, 22.

Logama umntwana wakho esahlala nawe, unelungelo lokumxelela ukuba alandele ucwangciso lokomoya olulandelwa ekhaya. Noko ke, eyona nto uyifunayo kukuba umntwana wakho amthande ngokusuk’ entliziyweni uThixo—angenzi nje kuba kusenziwa ekhaya. Ukuze umncede umntwana aluthande unqulo lokwenyaniso, mmisele umzekelo. Mus’ ukulindela okungaphaya kwamandla akhe. Mfunele umntu ongumzekelo nabahlobo abaza kumkhuthaza. Mhlawumbi ngenye imini umntwana wakho uya kuthetha amazwi afana nawomdumisi owathi, “UYehova yingxondorha yam negwiba lam noMsindisi wam.”—INdumiso 18:2.

FUNDA UMQULU 1 ISAHLUKO 39,  , NOMQULU 2 ISAHLUKO 37 NESAMA-38

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]