Isahluko 4

Kwakutheni Ukuze Utata Nomama Bahlukane?

“Ngomhla uTata awasishiya ngawo ekhaya ndandihleli kunye noMama. Ndandingazi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni kuba ndandineminyaka emithandathu kuphela ubudala. Ndandihleli phantsi ndibukele umabonwakude, ndaza ndeva umama ekhala ecela utata ukuba angahambi. Wehlela kwigumbi elingezantsi ephethe isutikheyisi, waguqa, wandanga waza wathi, ‘UTata uyakuthanda, uyeva,’ waza waphuma. Emva koko, kwadlula iminyaka ndingamboni utata. Ukususela ngoko, ndandisoyika ukuba uMama andishiye naye.”—UElaine, oneminyaka eli-19 ubudala.

 UKUBA abazali bakho baqhawula umtshato, kusenokubonakala ngathi oko kukuphela kobomi bakho. Usenokuziva uhlazekile, unomsindo, unxunguphele, ulahliwe, unetyala, udandathekile yaye ulilolo—ude ufune nokuziphindezelela.

Ukuba abazali bakho basandul’ ukwahlukana, nawe usenokuba uvakalelwa ngale ndlela ichazwe ngasentla, oko kunjalo kuba uMdali wethu wayefuna ukuba abantwana bakhuliswe ngumama notata. (Efese 6:1-3) Ngoku akusenaye umzali omthanda kakhulu oza kuhlala naye yonke imihla. UDaniel, onabazali abahlukana xa wayeneminyaka esixhenxe ubudala uthi: “Ndandifuna ukuhlala notata kodwa nguMama owafumana ilungelo lokundikhulisa.”

Isizathu Sokuba Abazali Bahlukane

Abantwana basoloko besothuswa kukwahlukana kwabazali babo, ngenxa yokuba abazali bebezifihla iingxaki zabo. URachel owayeneminyaka eli-15 xa abazali bakhe babeqhawula umtshato uthi: “Ndothuka kakhulu. Ndandicinga ukuba bayathandana.” Nokuba abazali basoloko bexabana, kodwa ukwahlukana kwabo kuba yenye into ebuhlungu!

Kwiimeko ezininzi, abazali bahlukaniswa kukuba omnye eye waziphatha kakubi ngokwesini. Xa kunjalo, uThixo uyalivumela iqabane elimsulwa ukuba liwuqhawule umtshato lize litshate kwakhona. (Mateyu 19:9) Kwezinye iimeko, ‘ingqumbo nokumemeza nokutshabhisa’ ziye zabangela ukuba kubekho ugonyamelo, nto leyo ebangela ukuba omnye umzali oyikele ubomi bakhe nobabantwana.—Efese 4:31.

Kuyavunywa ukuba, abanye bawuqhawula umtshato ngezizathu ezingavakaliyo. Kunokuba bazicombulule iingxaki zabo, ngenxa yokuzingca baye bawuqhawule kuba besithi ‘abonwabanga’ okanye ‘abasathandani.’ Oku akumkholisi uThixo, ‘oluthiyileyo uqhawulo-mtshato.’ (Malaki 2:16) UYesu wathi abanye abantu abatshatileyo babeya kwahlukaniswa  kukuba elinye iqabane liye laba ngumKristu.—Mateyu 10:34-36.

Enoba siyintoni na isizathu, ukukhetha kwabazali bakho ukungakuxeleli nto okanye ukukunika iimpendulo ezingacacanga xa ubabuza ngokuqhawula kwabo umtshato, akuthethi kuthi abakuthandi. Ekubeni nabo bebuhlungu ngokuqhawula kwabo umtshato kusenokwenzeka ukuba kunzima ukuthetha ngako. (IMizekeliso 24:10) Basenokukufumanisa kunzima yaye kulihlazo ukuvuma iintsilelo zabo.

Oko Unokukwenza

Zazi izinto ezikunxunguphalisayo. Ekubeni ukuqhawula kwabazali bakho umtshato kunokubutshintsha ubomi bakho, usenokukhathazwa zizinto ebezikade zingenamsebenzi kuwe. Sekunjalo, ezo zinto zisenokungakoyikisi kakhulu ukuba uyazazi ukuba ziintoni. Faka olu phawu ✔ kwibhokisi enento ekoyikisa kakhulu, okanye ubhale loo nto ikoyikisayo ecaleni kwebinzala elithi “Ezinye izinto.”

□ Nomnye umzali uza kukushiya.

□ Intsapho yasekhaya ayizi kuba namali yaneleyo.

□ Mhlawumbi ndim obangele ukuba baqhawule umtshato.

□ Ukuba ndinokutshata, nowam umtshato uza kuphela.

□ Ezinye izinto ․․․․․

Thetha ngezinto ezikuxhalabisayo. UKumkani uSolomon wathi “kukho ixesha . . . lokuthetha.” (INtshumayeli 3:7) Zama ukufumana ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuthetha nabazali bakho ngezinto ezikuxhalabisayo ozibhale ngasentla. Bazise indlela olusizi nodideke ngayo. Mhlawumbi baya kukucacisela kakuhle uze waneliseke. Ukuba abazali bakho abanamdla wokuxoxa nawe ngezi zinto okanye wokukuxhasa, yiya kumhlobo oqolileyo. Ukuthetha nomntu oza kukuphulaphula kusenokukuthuthuzela.—IMizekeliso 17:17.

 Ngaphezu koko, uYihlo osemazulwini ‘ongumphulaphuli wemithandazo’ uya kukuphulaphula. (INdumiso 65:2) Zityand’ igila kuye, ‘kuba ukukhathalele.’—1 Petros 5:7.

Into Ongamele Uyenze

Musa ukufukam’ inzondo. UDaniel okhankanywe ngasentla uthi: “Abazali bam babecingela iziqu zabo. Babengacingi ngathi nokuba iya kusichaphazela njani into abayenzileyo.” Siyavakala isizathu sokuba uDaniel avakalelwe ngale ndlela. Kodwa unokuyiphendula njani le mibuzo? Bhala iimpendulo zakho kule migca.

Yintoni enokwenzeka kuDaniel ngokuhlala enengqumbo nenzondo? (Funda IMizekeliso 29:22.) ․․․․․

Nakuba kusenokuba nzima, kutheni kunokuba luncedo kuDaniel xa ezama ukubaxolela abazali bakhe? (Funda eyabase-Efese 4:31, 32.) ․․․․․

Oko kubhalwe kweyabaseRoma 3:23 kunokumnceda njani uDaniel abajonge ngendlela efanelekileyo abazali bakhe? ․․․․․

Kulumkele ukuzenzakalisa. UDenny uthi: “Emva kokuba abazali bam beqhawule umtshato ndandingonwabanga yaye ndidandathekile. Ndaba nengxaki esikolweni yaye ngomnye unyaka andizange ndiliphumelele ibanga  endandikulo. Emva koko . . . ndaqalisa ukuthanda ukudlala eklasini yaye ndithanda nokulwa.”

Ucinga ukuba uDenny wayezama ukuphumeza ntoni ngokudlala eklasini? ․․․․․

Kwakutheni ukuze athande umlo? ․․․․․

Ukuba ufuna ukuziphindezelela abazali bakho ngokuziphatha ngale ndlela, umgaqo okweyabaseGalati 6:7 unokukunceda njani? ․․․․․

 Oko Umele Ukulindele Kwixa Elizayo

Ukwenzakala okufana nokophuka kwethambo, kusenokuthabatha iiveki okanye iinyanga ukuze kuphole ngokupheleleyo. Ngokufanayo, xa umntu onzakele ngaphakathi kuthatha ixesha ukuba aphinde aphole. Ezinye iingcali zithi, intlungu ebangelwe luqhawulo-mtshato iphela emva kweminyaka enokuba ngaphezu kwemithathu. Oko kusenokubonakala ngathi lixesha elide, kodwa khumbula ukuba zininzi izinto ezimele zenzeke ngaphambi kokuba uzinze ebomini.

Phakathi kwezinye izinto, indlela ebezisenziwa ngayo izinto ekhaya—ephazanyiswe luqhawulo-mtshato—imele ihlengahlengiswe. Kwakhona kuseza kudlula ixesha ngaphambi kokuba loo ntlungu iphele kubazali bakho. Kungelo xesha ke abanokukwazi ukukuxhasa ngendlela efunekayo. Njengoko izinto zibuyela esiqhelweni, nobomi bakho buya kuba njalo.

FUNDA OKUNGAKUMBI NGALO MBANDELA KUMQULU 2, ISAHLUKO 25

KWISAHLUKO ESILANDELAYO

Ngaba uxhalatyiswa kukuba umzali wakho ephinde watshata? Unokuhlangabezana njani noku?

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

“Kukho ixesha . . . lokuphilisa.”—INtshumayeli 3:1, 3.

ICEBISO

Ukuba abazali bakho baqhawule umtshato, kusenokwenzeka ukuba omnye wabo okanye bobabini benze iimpazamo. Zama ukuzazi ezo mpazamo ukuze ungazenzi wena xa utshatile.—IMizekeliso 27:12.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Ukungonwabi kwabazali bakho emtshatweni akuthethi kuthi nawe akusayi konwaba kowakho.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Ndinokuxelela (bhala igama lomntu oqolileyo onokuthanda ukuthetha naye) ngezinto ezindixhalabisayo ․․․․․

Ukuba ndifuna ukuziphindezelela kubazali bam ngokwenza izinto ezimbi, ndinokungazenzi ukuba ndenza oku kulandelayo: ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Kutheni abazali bakho basenokungafuni ukuthetha nawe ngokuqhawula kwabo umtshato?

● Kutheni kubalulekile nje ukukhumbula ukuba abazali bakho abaqhawulanga mtshato kuba bexabene nawe, kodwa baxabene bodwa?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 32]

“Emva kokuba sishiywe nguMama ndandikhathazekile yaye ndisoloko ndisezinyembezini. Kodwa ndandithandaza ngalo lonke ixesha, ndinceda abanye yaye ndihlala ndikunye nabahlobo abaqolileyo. Ndicinga ukuba le yindlela uYehova uThixo awayendinceda ngayo.”—UNatalie

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 33]

Ukuphela kwentlungu ebangelwa kukuqhawula umtshato kwabazali kufana nokuphola kwengalo eyaphukileyo—kuba buhlungu kodwa ekugqibeleni uyachacha