Isahluko 5

Ndingayamkela Njani Into Yokuba Umzali Wam Ephinde Watshata?

UMZALI wakho usenokonwaba gqitha xa ephinda etshata. Kodwa wena usenokukhathazeka kakhulu! Ngoba? Xa umzali wakho etshata kwakhona, liyaphela ithemba obunalo lokuba abazali bakho bokwenene baya kuphinda babe kunye. Kwelinye icala, kunokuba buhlungu kakhulu xa etshata ngokukhawuleza emva kokufa komnye umzali.

Wavakalelwa njani xa umzali wakho ephinda etshata? Faka olu phawu ✔ kwindlela owavakalelwa ngayo.

□ Ndandonwabile

□ Ndandinganqabisekanga

□ Yaba ngathi ndingcatshiwe

□ Ndandimmonela umzali wesibini

□ Ndaba netyala lokungcatsha kuba ndamthanda umzali wam wesibini

Le ndlela yokugqibela inokubangelwa kukufuna ukunyaniseka kumzali wakho ongekhoyo. Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, ezi ndlela zikhankanywe ngasentla zinokukwenza ukhuphe intlungu okuyo ngokuzenzakalisa.

 Ngokomzekelo, usenokumsokolisa umzali wakho wesibini. Usenokude uzame ukubaxabanisa aba bazali, kuba ufuna bahlukane. Sekunjalo, umzekeliso wobulumko uthi: “Ozisa ishwangusha endlwini yakhe, uya kudla ilifa elingumoya”—oko kukuthi, uya kubuya nemband’ esikhova. (IMizekeliso 11:29) Musa ukuzifaka emgibeni. Unokuhlangabezana nale ntlungu ngokusebenzisa ezi ndlela ziphumelelayo. Khawuhlolisise le mizekelo imbalwa.

Ingxaki 1: Ukwamkela Igunya Lomzali Wesibini

Ukuba phantsi komzali omtsha akulula. Xa ekucela ukuba wenze into ethile, usenokudubuleka uthi, ‘Akungomama okanye utata wam!’ Usenokuzingomb’ isifuba ngaloo mpendulo, kodwa kubonisa ukuba akuqolanga.

Kwelinye icala, ukuzithoba kumzali wesibini yenye indlela ebonisa ukuba uthobela isiluleko seBhayibhile esithi, “yibani ngabakhule ngokupheleleyo emandleni okuqonda.” (1 Korinte 14:20) Xa sithetha inyaniso, lo mzali wesibini wenza into ebiza kwenziwa ngumzali wakho wokwenene yaye kufuneka umhlonele.—IMizekeliso 1:8; Efese 6:1-4.

Ngokuqhelekileyo xa umzali wakho wesibini ekuqeqesha, ubonisa ukuba uyakuthanda yaye ukuxhalabele. (IMizekeliso 13:24) UYvonne oneminyaka eli-18 ubudala uthi, “Utata wethu wesibini uyasiqeqesha, yaye ootata bafanele benjenjalo. Ndivakalelwa kukuba xa ndingamthobeli, ndifana nothi andiyikhathalelanga yonke imizamo ayenzileyo kwiminyaka edluleyo yokusondla ngokwenyama nangokomoya. Oko bekuya kubonisa ukungabi nambulelo.”

Sekunjalo, kusenokwenzeka ube nezikhalazo ezivakalayo. Ukuba kunjalo, zibonakalise ‘ungokhulileyo’ ngokwenza oko kuchazwe kweyabaseKolose 3:13: “Qhubekani ninyamezelana yaye nixolelana ngesisa ukuba nabani na unesizathu sokukhalazela omnye.”

 Khawubhale iimpawu ezintle ezimbini okanye ezingaphezulu anazo umzali wakho wesibini apha ngezantsi.

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Ukukhumbula iimpawu ezintle zomzali wakho wesibini kunokukunceda njani ukuba umhlonele ngakumbi?

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Ingxaki 2: Ukufunda Ukwabelana Nokuyekelela

UAaron oneminyaka engama-24 ubudala uthi: “Emva komama wam, utata watshata izihlandlo ezibini. Kwakunzima ukuzithanda ezi ntsapho. Ekuqaleni, ndandingabajongi njengentsapho yam, kodwa ndaxelelwa ukuba kunyanzelekile ukuba ndibathande. Ndandididekile.”

Nawe unokuhlangabezana neengxaki ezinzima. Ngokomzekelo, kusenokufuneka ngoku ingabi nguwe omdala okanye ube kuphela komntwana okhoyo. Ukuba ungumfana, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ubunyamekela intsapho yakowenu—nto leyo ngoku eyenziwa ngutata wakho wesibini. Okanye kusenokwenzeka ukuba unengxaki efanayo nekaYvonne. Uthi: “Utata wayengamnyamekeli uMama. Ngenxa yoko ndandisoloko ndikunye naye. Kodwa wathi umama akutshata kwakhona, lo tata mtsha wamnyamekela ngokwenene. Babesoloko bechitha ixesha kunye yaye bencokola kunye, ngaloo ndlela wayengathi umohluthile kum. Kodwa ke, ekugqibeleni ndaqhelana naloo meko.”

NjengoYvonne, unokuqhelana njani nemeko okuyo? IBhayibhile ithi: “Ukuba nengqiqo kwenu makwazeke ebantwini bonke.” (Filipi 4:5) Igama lantlandlolo eliguqulelwe ngokuthi ‘ingqiqo’ lithetha ‘ukuyekelela’  yaye libhekisela kumntu onganyanzelisi ukuba izinto zenziwe ngendlela yakhe. Unokusisebenzisa njani esi siluleko? (1) Kuphephe ukuhlala ucinga ngezinto ezidlulileyo. (INtshumayeli 7:10) (2) Kulungele ukwabelana nentsapho yesibini. (1 Timoti 6:18) (3) Sukuyiphatha ngokungathi asiyontsapho yakowenu.

Kwezi ngongoma zingasentla, yiyiphi eyona ufuna ukusebenzela kuyo? ․․․․․

Ingxaki 3: Ukuhlangabezana Nokungaphathwa Ngokulinganayo

UTara uthi: “Utata wesibini wayebathanda ngaphezu kwam nodadewethu abantwana bakhe. Wayebathengela nantoni na etyiwayo abayifunayo aze abaqashele naziphi na iimovie. Wayebenzela nantoni na ebonwabisayo.” Kunzima ukuyinyamezela loo nto. Yintoni enokunceda? Zama ukuqonda isizathu sokuba umzali wesibini angamphathi ngokufana nomntwana wakhe umntwana womtshato wesibini. Mhlawumbi isizathu asikukuba ingumntwana wakhe kodwa kungenxa yokuba kudala bephila kunye. Ngapha koko, nawe kusenokwenzeka ukuba usondelelene ngakumbi nomzali wakho kunalowo wesibini.

 Noko ke, kukho umahluko omkhulu phakathi kokuphathwa ngokulinganayo nabanye, nokuphathwa kakuhle. Abantu abafani yaye bafuna izinto ezingafaniyo. Ngoko, kunokuba ube ujonga ukuba umzali wakho wesibini ukuphatha ngokungalinganiyo nabanye, zama ukubona enoba uyazama kusini na ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zakho.

Ziziphi iimfuno zakho azifezayo umzali wakho wesibini?

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Ziziphi iimfuno ocinga ukuba akazifezi?

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 Xa ucinga ukuba akazifezi iimfuno zakho, thetha nomzali wakho wesibini ngentlonelo.

Ukuba Nomonde Kunomvuzo!

Ngokuqhelekileyo intsapho yomtshato wesibini iqhelana ize ithembane emva kweminyaka emininzi. Kungelo xesha kanye eya kuthi ikwazi ukusebenzisana kakuhle. Ngoko ke yiba nomonde! Musa ukulindela ukuba uza kuthandwa okanye ube nentsapho emanyeneyo nje ngokuqhwanyaza kweliso.

Xa umama wakhe wayetshata okwesibini, uThomas wayengakhululekanga konke konke. Babebane kowabo, yaye unina watshata nomntu onabantwana abathathu. Uthi: “Sasisilwa, sixambulisana, singavisisani yaye sicaphukisana.” Yintoni eyabangela ukuba le ntsapho iphumelele? “Sakwazi ukucombulula izinto ngokusebenzisa imigaqo yeBhayibhile.”

KWISAHLUKO ESILANDELAYO

Kuthekani ukuba ucatshukiswa ngabantwana bakowenu?

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

“Kulunge ngakumbi ukuphela kombandela kunokuqalwa kwawo. Ulunge ngakumbi onomonde kunalowo unomoya onekratshi.”—INtshumayeli 7:8.

ICEBISO

Ekubeni uhlala nabantwana besini esahlukileyo bomtshato wesibini, usenokuziva utsalelekile kubo ngokwesini. Ngoko zisuse iingcinga ezinjalo uze uqiniseke ukuba indlela onxiba noziphatha ngayo ayivuseleli nkanuko.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Kusenokwenzeka ukuba kunzima ukwamkela intsapho yomtshato wesibini nakubantwana bomzali wesibini.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Ndiza kuzama ukumhlonela ngakumbi umzali wam wesibini xa ndikhumbula izinto ezintle azenzele intsapho yakowethu (bhala izinto ezintle ezimbini): ․․․․․

Xa abantwana bentsapho yesibini bengenamsebenzi nam, ndiza kuzama ukusebenzisa umgaqo okweyabaseRoma 12:12 ngokwenza oku kulandelayo: ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza umzali okanye umzali wam wesibini ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Yintoni esenokoyikwa ngumzali wakho wesibini nabantwana bakhe xa besiza kwintsapho yakowenu?

● Kutheni kubalulekile ukuba nembono ephangaleleyo ngokuphathelele intsapho yakowenu entsha?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 38]

“Ekugqibeleni umama wawuqhawula umtshato wakhe wesibini. Kodwa sisavana nanamhlanje nabantwana basekhaya bomtshato wesibini. Ukuphila nabo kwandizuzisa gqitha ebomini bam.”—UTara

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 39]

Ukudibanisa iintsapho ezimbini kufana nokuxuba amanzi nesamente—kufuna ixesha nomgudu, kodwa ekugqibeleni loo ntsapho iyamanyana