Isahluko 6

Ndinokuvana Njani Nabantwana Basekhaya?

Sisebenzisa amanani ukusuka kwi-1 ukusa kwisi-5, isi-1 simela “ukungasondelelani,” isi-5 simela “ukuvana,” ubunokuthi lunjani ulwalamano lwakho nabantwana bakowenu? ․․․․․

ABANYE abantu abazalwa kunye bayavana. Ngokomzekelo, uFelicia oneminyaka eli-19 ubudala uthi, “Udadewethu oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala, uIrena, ngomnye wabahlobo bam abasenyongweni.” UCarly, oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala uthi ngomntakwabo uEric oneminyaka engama-20 ubudala: “Sivana gqitha. Asikhe sixabane.”

Kwelinye icala, abanye bafana noLauren noMarla. ULauren uthi: “Silwa ngento yonke. Akukhathaliseki enoba yinto engenamsebenzi.” Mhlawumbi uvakalelwa ngendlela  uAlice, oneminyaka eli-12 ubudala avakalelwa ngayo ngomntakwabo uDennis oneminyaka eli-14 ubudala: “Uyandikruqula! Usuke athi dyulukudu nje egumbini lam athathe izinto engazicelanga. Wenza izinto okomntwana!”

Ngaba kukho umntwana wakowenu okukruqulayo? Kakade ke, abazali bakho banembopheleleko yokugcina intsapho imanyene. Sekunjalo, kungekudala kuza kufuneka uzifundise ukuvana nabanye. Oko unokukwenza ngoku usahlala ekhaya.

Cinga ngeengxabano eniye nanazo nomntakwenu okanye udadewenu. Ziintoni enixabana ngazo? Khangela kwezi zinto zidweliswe ngezantsi, uze ufake olu phawu ✔ kwizinto ezikucaphukisa kakhulu!

□ Izinto zakho. Umntwana wasekhaya uthatha izinto zam engazicelanga.

□ Ukungavisisani. Umntwana wasekhaya akabacingeli abanye abantu, wenza engacinganga okanye uzama ukundilawula.

□ Akandiniki inkululeko yam. Umntwana wasekhaya usuka athi dyulukudu egumbini lam, afunde iie-mail zam okanye imiyalezo endiyithunyelelweyo engacelanga.

□ Ezinye ․․․․․

 Ukuba umntwana wakowenu usoloko ekucaphukisa—ekulawula okanye engakuniki inkululeko yakho—usenokumzonda. Kodwa umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi: “Ukucudisa impumlo kuvelisa igazi, yaye ukucudisa umsindo kuvelisa ingxabano.” (IMizekeliso 30:33) Ukuba unenzondo, usenokugqajukelwa ngumsindo, kanye njengokuba ukucudisa impumlo kuvelisa igazi. Oko kuya kubangela ukuba loo ngxaki ingapheli. (IMizekeliso 26:21) Unokuyithintela njani into ekucaphukisayo ukuba ivelise ingxabano? Inyathelo lokuqala kukwazi eyona ngxaki.

Yintoni Eyona Ngxaki?

Iingxaki zabantu abazalwa kunye zifana namaqhakuva. Indlela elibonakala ngayo iqhakuva ayithandeki, kodwa libangelwa yintsholongwane engabonakaliyo. Ngokufanayo, ukho unobangela wengxabano yabantu abazalwa kunye.

Unokulinyanga iqhakuva ngokulicudisa. Oko akuphelisi unobangela, kodwa kushiya ibala okanye kubangele ukuba intsholongwane ihambele phambili. Eyona nto ibhetele onokuyenza kukunyanga intsholongwane ukuze amaqhakuva angabi maninzi. Kuyafana ke nangeengxabano zakho nabantwana bakowenu. Zama ukwazi unobangela. Xa umazi, uya kuzama ukucombulula loo ngxaki. Kwakhona uza kukwazi ukusebenzisa isilumkiso sikaKumkani uSolomon owayesisilumko esithi: “Ingqiqo yomntu ngokuqinisekileyo imenza azeke kade umsindo.”—IMizekeliso 19:11.

 Ngokomzekelo, uAlice, okhankanywe ngasentla wathi ngomntakwabo uDennis, “Usuke athi dyulukudu nje egumbini lam athathe izinto engazicelanga.” Le yeyona nto ibaxabanisayo. Kodwa, ucinga ukuba yintoni eyona ngxaki? Kukungabi nantlonelo. UAlice unokuyiphelisa le ngxabano ngokuxelela uDennis ukuba angaphindi angene egumbini lakhe okanye asebenzise izinto zakhe. Loo nto inokuyiphelisa loo ngxabano kodwa inokuphumela kwengakumbi. Xa uAlice enokumenza uDennis aqonde ukuba ufanele ahlonele inkululeko yakhe nezinto zakhe, alithandabuzeki elokuba baya kuvana.

Zama Ukucombulula Okanye Ukuphepha Iingxabano

Kakade ke, akunakuyicombulula ingxaki ngokwazi nje unobangela wayo. Yintoni onokuyenza ukuze uyicombulule nokuze uphephe ezinye iingxabano? Zama ezi ndlela zintandathu zilandelayo.

1. Vumelanani ngezinto ezithile. Cinga ngengxaki oye wayiphawula phakathi kwakho nomntwana wakowenu. Vumelanani ngento eniza kuyenza ukuze nicombulule loo ngxaki. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba nixatyaniswa kukusebenzisa kwakhe izinto zakho, nanku uMthetho 1 onokuwumisela: “Cela ngaphambi kokuba uthathe nantoni na engeyoyakho.” UMthetho 2: “Yazi into yokuba umntwana wakowenu unelungelo lokuthi, ‘Hayi’ xa engafuni ukuba uyisebenzise into yakhe.” Xa umisela le mithetho, cinga ngomyalelo kaYesu othi: “Zonke izinto, ngoko, enifuna abantu bazenze kuni, yenzani  ngokunjalo nani kubo.” (Mateyu 7:12) Ngaloo ndlela uya kuba umisela imithetho enimele niphile ngayo. Emva koko xubusha nabazali bakho ngaloo nto nivumelene ngayo ukuze uqiniseke ukuba nabo bayavumelana nayo.—Efese 6:1.

2. Nawe yithobele loo mithetho. Umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Ngaba, noko ke, wena ufundisa uthile ongomnye, akuzifundisi na wena? Wena, ushumayela usithi ‘Uze ungebi,’ ngaba uyeba na?” (Roma 2:21) Unokuwusebenzisa njani lo mgaqo? Ngokomzekelo, ukuba ufuna umntwana wakowenu ahlonele inkululeko yakho, nawe umele unkqonkqoze egumbini lakhe ngaphambi kokuba ungene, okanye ucele ngaphambi kokuba ufunde iie-mail okanye imiyalezo yakhe.

3. Ungakhathazeki msinya. Kutheni ilicebiso elihle nje eli? Kuba omnye umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi, “ukucaphuka kuhlala esifubeni sabaziziyatha.” (INtshumayeli 7:9) Ukuba ukhathazeka msinya, akuyi konwaba ebomini. Abantwana bakowenu baya kwenza okanye bathethe izinto ezikucaphukisayo. Kodwa zibuze, ‘Ngaba ndikhe ndenza okufanayo kubo kwixa elidluleyo?’ (Mateyu 7:1-5) UJenny uthi: “Xa ndandineminyaka eli-13 ubudala, ndandicinga ukuba ndibhetele kunabanye abantu yaye imbono yam yeyona ibalulekileyo yaye imele iviwe. Ngoku nodadewethu omncinane unjalo.  Ngoko ndiyazama ukuba ndingacatshukiswa zizinto azithethayo.”

4. Xolela uze ulibale. Iingxaki ezinkulu kufuneka kuthethwe ngazo zize ziconjululwe. Kodwa ngaba umele umthethise umntwana wakowenu ngayo yonke impazamo ayenzayo? UYehova uThixo uyayithanda into yokuba ukulungele “ukukubetha ngoyaba ukunxaxha.” (IMizekeliso 19:11) UAlison, oneminyaka eli-19 ubudala uthi: “Mna nodadewethu uRachel sidla ngokuzicombulula iingxaki zethu. Sobabini siyakhawuleza ukucela uxolo size sithethe ngento esicinga ukuba ibibangela ukungavisisani. Maxa wambi andikhawulezi ukuthetha ngayo. Ngokufuthi, ndiye ndivuke sele ndiyilibele yonke loo nto, kuze kungabikho mfuneko yakuthetha ngayo.”

 5. Vumela abazali bakho balamle. Ukuba wena nomntwana wakowenu anikwazi ukucombulula ingxaki ebalulekileyo, abazali benu banokuninceda nixolelane. (Roma 14:19) Khumbula ukuba, xa ukwazi ukulungisa ingxabano ngaphandle kokuya kubazali, oko kuthetha ukuba uqolile.

6. Zixabise iimpawu ezintle abanazo abantwana bakowenu. Mhlawumbi abantwana bakowenu baneempawu ezithile ozithandayo. Bhala into nganye oyithandayo kubo.

Igama Into endiyithandayo

․․․․․ ․․․․․

Kunokuba usoloko ucinga ngeempazamo zabantwana bakowenu, kutheni ungaziphi ixesha lokubaxelela ngezinto ozithandayo kubo?—INdumiso 130:3; IMizekeliso 15:23.

IBhayibhile iyatsho ukuba umntwana wakowenu usenokungabi ngoyena mhlobo usenyongweni kuwe. (IMizekeliso 18:24) Kodwa usenokubomeleza ubuhlobo benu ukuba ‘niqhubeka ninyamezelana,’ naxa ‘unesizathu sokukhalaza.’ (Kolose 3:13) Ukuba uyakwenza oko, abantwana bakowenu abayi kukucaphukisa. Nawe usenokungabacaphukisi.

KWISAHLUKO ESILANDELAYO

Wazi njani ukuba sele ukulungele ukushiya ikhaya?

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

“Ukuba nengqiqo kwenu makwazeke ebantwini bonke.”—Filipu 4:5.

ICEBISO

Ukuba kunzima ukuvana nomntwana wakowenu, musa ukukhathazeka, kuba uyakunceda ukuba ube nobuchule bokuhlangabezana neengxaki ebomini.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Xa uhamba ekhaya, maxa wambi uya kudibana nabantu abakucaphukisayo—osebenza nabo nabanye abakrwada, abangakhathaliyo nabacingela iziqu zabo. Ikhaya yindawo yokufunda indlela onokubaphatha ngoxolo ngayo abantu abanjalo.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Imithetho endinokuvumelana ngayo nabantwana endizalwa nabo ․․․․․

Ndinokungabacaphukisi abantwana basekhaya ukuba ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Kutheni kubalulekile ukubona umahluko phakathi kwengxabano nento eyibangelayo?

● Ziziphi iingenelo zokuba nabantwana ozalwa nabo?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 46]

“Ngaphandle kwabantwana basekhaya, zonke iinkumbulo ezimnandi beziya kumka nomoya. Kwabo banabantakwabo noodadewabo, ndithi, ‘Baxabiseni!’”—UMarilyn

 [Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 42]

Isalathiso Samaphepha

Ukwazi Eyona Ngxaki

Ngaba uyafuna ukuphucula ubuchule bendlela yokwazi eyona ngxaki yokungavani kwabantwana abazalwa kunye? Ukuba kunjalo, funda umzekeliso kaYesu wonyana owashiya ikhaya waza wadlala ngelifa lakhe. (Luka 15:11-32) Qwalasela into eyenziwa ngunyana omdala xa umninawa wakhe wabuyela ekhaya. Emva koko phendula le mibuzo ilandelayo.

Yintoni eyabangela ukuba umkhuluwa enze oku? ․․․․․

Ucinga ukuba yayiyintoni eyona ngxaki? ․․․․․

Uyise wazama njani ukuyicombulula? ․․․․․

Yintoni ekwafuneka yenziwe ngumkhuluwa ukuze akwazi ukuyicombulula? ․․․․․

Ngoku khawucinge ngengxabano enisandul’ ukuba nayo nomntwana wakowenu. Emva koko bhala iimpendulo ecaleni kwale mibuzo ilandelayo.

Yintoni ebangele le ngxabano? ․․․․․

Ucinga ukuba ibiyintoni eyona ngxaki? ․․․․․

Yiyiphi imithetho eninokuvumelana kuyo ukuze niyicombulule nize ningaphindi nixabane? ․․․․․

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 43]

Iingxaki zabantu abazalwa kunye zifana namaqhakuva—ukuze uzicombulule kufuneka ulungise oyena nobangela